"I would give anything… anything to take it all back," Sam whispered, broken and bruised, battered and tear fallen.
"I know you would…," Dean muttered, green eyes glimmering with distrust, hurt, and so many more emotions that Sam couldn't place them. "And I know how sorry you are, but man, you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even," a broken pause, a gasped syllable and a simple tongue over lips to erase the words he really wanted to say. "I'm… I'm just having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here, you know?"
Sam eyes are cast downwards, not wanting to meet his big brothers, he nods as he listens as he breaks piece by piece, he pleads, "What can I do?"
There's a moment where he lets himself feel hope, feel the brotherly love that consumes them both whole, but it is shattered within seconds as Dean continues, "Honestly? Nothing," he shakes his head, eyes connected and absolute in his statement. "I just don't…I don't think we can be what we were, you know? I just don't think I can trust you," and as he spoke, Dean could finally read Sam's eyes. He could read every 'I knew it', every 'I fucked up, but please still love me', every 'sorry' Sam could ever offer, and he didn't care. The end of the world was here, Lucifer was out and ready for world domination, and he could care less about how he could read Sam's heart breaking and spirit being crushed as he talked. He shook his head, walking towards the Impala, his baby, and held his tears at bay.
Sam didn't know what to feel, how to express the pain that was scorching his body in waves of heat and ice. He didn't know the conjugations of the verbs that could possibly verbose the way in which Dean's words tortured him, but he still did know how to put his foot forward and continue. Dean taught him how to walk, after all, and made damn sure he was brilliant at it. And it was with those thoughts that Sam followed his bro-, Dean, into the impala he had grown up in, and felt like he was truly, and fully, a stranger in the midst of being home.