And where is Han? He and Chewie are enjoying a nice stroll in the parking lot. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and Jabba the Hutt, who had told Han to meet him after school, is waddling toward him in all his warty, green, chubby glory. Jabba might look like a great ooze ball in a Max Rebo cap, but he was the most feared bully in the school. And when he tells you to come, you come, or else you look like a wimp.
"I am not a wimp," Han repeated to himself, blinking sweat out of his eyes that had dripped down his forehead, "you don't scare me, Fatso."
"Hey, wimp," called the fatso.
Han pasted on his most charming half-grin, although his stomach was turning to half-stewed yogurt. "Jabba. You here to collect my lunch money again, or did you finally realized that lunch passedalready?"
Jabba's ugly face grew uglier. "Watch yourself, wimp, and I thought I said not to bring the walking mop?" he glanced at Chewie, who chose that moment to say "Auaugh.".
Han stepped protectively in front of the Wookie. "You deal with me, you deal with both of us, pal. Now what do you want from me?"
Jabba poked a slimy finger at Han's chest. "First of all, you don't call me pal, pal, I call you pal. And second –" he paused to slurp some dangling spittle into his mouth "I saw you trip me cronie Greedo in the lunchroom yesterday. And on top of o' dat, that Skywalker shrimp killed my pet Rancor, Mr. Mutilator! You're gonna get it, punk!" by now he had pinned Han to the wall with a slimy hand, the other rearing back for a punch. (Chewie, the coward, had run away.) Han shut his eyes and braced himself . . .
*TWANG!*THWANG! *POP!*THUD.* Four rubber bands came shooting from the bushes, hitting Jabba in the head, the tail, the eye . . . and a well placed one to the nose. Jabba the Hutt fell to the asphalt, unconscious, as Leia, Luke, Lando, Chewie, and Biggs emerged.
"Dude!" said Lando, "Good timing, huh?"
Han exhaled with relief, then pounded Chewie on the back, grinning. "Chewie, you sneak! Running away and sounding the alarm . . . nice work! My brilliance must be rubbing off on you! And kid –" he pointed to Luke, "that's the last time I take the rap for you. Who kills someone's pet? Even a pet like Mr. Mutilator?"
Luke shrugged his shoulders. "He wasn't much of a mutilator. Plus, he deserved it. He almost ate me!"
"And he peed on my geraniums," added Lando.
Leia gave a small smile. "Well, you're still in one piece, Han. What do you say we blow this thing and go home?"
They all headed for the Millennium Falcon. Chewie picked up Jabba's Rebo cap and stuffed it on his furry head. Everyone crowded inside the rickety old ship, which Han was extremely fond of and even secretly called it "baby". (He even kissed it once, but that's another story.) He pounded the controls and they sped off into hyperspace. Luke decided they also needed some hyper-music, and turned up the bass real high, until the walls started to shake. Han slapped him away from the stereo and hurriedly turned the music down.
"Watch yourself, kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home."