"I totally ate it," I groaned, plopping down on the hill next to my best friend Farkle.
"You bit the big one," he agreed, "Are you okay? That looked painful."
"My ego's more bruised than my body," I sighed, "Let's get out of here."
"Your wish is my command," he nodded, sticking my bike in the bed of his truck. I'd just gotten my assed kicked out on the motocross track, I wasn't exactly eager to ride home right now.
"Hey, Matthews," I groaned as my arch-nemesis Missy Bradford rode up to us.
"Hi Missy," I mumbled, "Nice run out there."
"Yeah, thanks," she grinned, "You must've had a pretty great view, huh?"
"Sure," I nodded. It was true, from my spot behind her I did see her entire ride.
"Well, we gotta go," Farkle interrupted her gloat-fest, "See ya."
"Bye Farkle," she waved eagerly at him.
"Ugh, I hate her," I moaned, hopping into the truck and knocking my head against his dash.
"Hey, hey, the truck didn't kick your ass out there," he blocked my forehead from making contact again, "Be gentle."
"Yeah, yeah," I huffed; Farkle's truck was his pride and joy.
"C'mon," he said, "It wasn't even that bad, Missy's just being a bitch."
"You can say that again," I agreed.
"She's a bitch. Now stop pouting and put on the music," he said, handing me his iPod. The radio stations out here are all but static, so Farkle's older brother had rigged the truck with an aux cord and keeps his iTunes up-to-date with all the latest hits. He's away at college at MSU Billings and thinks he's hot shit because he's in the big city now.
We spent the rest of the ride driving in amicable silence, until he passed the turnoff for my road, "Your parents don't expect you home yet, let's go to the diner. Pancakes, on me."
I only hesitated a moment, before grinning broadly, "With chocolate chips?"
"Of course," he nodded. Farkle always had the unique talent of knowing just how to cheer me up.
When we entered the diner, there were already a couple groups of kids from school gathered in booths. It was no surprise, there isn't much to do out by us- our only real options for hanging out were the movie theater two towns over, the motocross tracks we'd just left, or here.
Before we could get a table alone, we were waved over by a few guys Farkle knew, who rearranged themselves to let the two of us share a side in the booth. It was generally understood by the guys at school that we had an unofficial "thing" going, and that messing with me meant dealing with Farkle. Since he cut a rather imposing figure at 6'2, most boys choose not to risk it.
Sliding in to the corner, I snuggled into Farkle's side to keep warm and smiled shyly when he ordered for us both. Even though we'd discussed pancakes in the car, it was nice to see he knew me so well that he ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream too. For himself, he got a burger with fries, and an Oreo milkshake.
"Hey, Colt," Farkle lifted a hand to wave to his friend, who'd just entered with his brothers Jesse, Tyler, and Evan.
Colt nodded at us, but sat down with his brothers. All four boys looked tired and dirty- they all seemed constantly covered with an inch worth of rancher's dust.
"He was out of school again today," Farkle pointed out. Lately things were going really bad for the Friar family, which meant they had to let go of a couple ranch hands- Colt had racked up quite a truancy record staying home to help out.
"Not like he's missing much," I shrugged. Colt wasn't exactly what one would call brainy, and certainly didn't seem to apply himself much even when he was in school, what with the frequent study hall naps and failed tests.
"I guess you're right," he agreed, "I'm gonna go say hi, you wanna come?"
I passed, "I think he'd lose his appetite."
"Can't you two learn to get along?" Farkle laughed. It's not that Colt and I fight, per se, it's that we didn't necessarily agree on much either. It's usually awkward between us.
"The only thing we have in common is you," I reminded him for the umpteenth time, "So I sincerely doubt it."
"He's not that bad," Farkle pointed out. Colt was known for being wild, and despite speaking mostly in monosyllabic phrases and grunts he often managed to find himself in some kind of trouble with both boys and girls. His brothers were the same way, expect they drank more publicly and more excessively. People around here tended to leave them to themselves, except Farkle, unfortunately.
I watched him make his way over to the Friar brothers' table, eyeing Colt warily. He returned my gaze steadily, but didn't react otherwise. I couldn't hear their conversation, but I knew by Farkle's grin that it wasn't anything good.
I chatted idly with the other guys at the table, straining to eavesdrop on the conversation across the room.
"Riley, why don't you just go over there and ask what they're talking about?" Billy suggested low in my ear, his breath tickling my neck.
I elbowed him in the rib, "Bite me."
"Gladly," he smirked, leaning in closer as if he really would.
That's when Colt mumbled to Farkle, "Minkus, you better get back to your girl."
Farkle came back and we finished up eating, chatting amicably with the boys until it was time for him to take me home. I don't really have any official curfew and my parents love Farkle, so it's not like he'd get in trouble for keeping me out or anything, he's just respectful and tries to get me home early most nights.
"Colt invited us to a party tomorrow night," Farkle said when we were parked outside my house.
"Us?" I raised my eyebrow. I'm sure even if he did extend an invitation, he didn't mean it.
"Well he invited me, and he knows we're a package deal," he shrugged, caught out.
"You both lucked out this time," I chuckled, "Maya and I are going shopping with her mom for homecoming dresses."
"Oh, cool," he said, "Next time then."
I didn't see Farkle the rest of the weekend, and he hadn't seemed himself when I'd texted him, but I didn't think much of it until Zay Babineaux stopped me in the hallway and told me the big gossip from the weekend- that Farkle had hooked up with a girl at the party, and now they were together. As in together, together.
"Who's the girl?" I asked. Farkle had never had a serious girlfriend before, I'd always been his only "steady" date, even if we weren't, y'know, physical.
"It's Missy," she said, watching me carefully for my reaction.
"Ha," I laughed out loud, "Fat chance."
"It's true," she nodded her head, eyes wide as saucers, "I saw her pull up with him in his truck this morning."
That stopped me in my tracks. When I'd texted Farkle about a ride to school last night he'd given me some bogus excuse about his dad needing the car. I'd walked to school today, looking around for him, but he was nowhere to be found.
"Thanks Ry," I muttered vaguely, marching to my locker, near Farkle's. Missy's was right next to his, and that's where I found the two of them, making our up against the lockers, like a pair of total clichés.
"Farkle," I breathed out when he finally looked up and spotted me, "How could you? And with her? Anyone, but her."
Missy stared back at me, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
"Look, Riley, don't be like this," he frowned, "It just happened; I didn't know how to tell you."
"I really thought you were better than that," I could feel my eyes welling up with tears despite myself. I knew all the boys at school were into Missy, and that she threw herself at Farkle every chance she got, but I thought he saw through her.
"Riley, don't cry," he reached out for me, but I recoiled away.
"I hope it's worth it," I spat, turning and rushing to the bathroom to calm myself down before class.
Leaning against the sink, I splashed cold water on my face and gave myself a little pep talk. Technically, Farkle and I were never actually together; everyone just assumed we were dating and we never corrected them. He didn't do anything wrong.
But then why did it feel so awful seeing him with her? Was it just because I hated Missy, or because I was more into Farkle than I'd ever let on? If I'd made a move, instead of settling for going with the flow would it have made a difference? Did that even matter now?
My feelings were all mixed up, and I had so many questions, but I had to get it together and get to class. Thankfully, I didn't have any classes with either Missy or Farkle until after lunch, so hopefully I'd be able to avoid them until I calmed down.
One person I couldn't avoid, however, was Colt who apparently had decided not to skip today, and to loiter outside the girls' bathroom instead. I ran right smack into him, even though he was about the last person I wanted to see.
"Hey," he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Not now, Colt," I tried to push passed him, but he grabbed my arm, holding me.
"I think now's as good a time as any," he frowned slightly, "C'mon, I saw what just happened, no way you're going to class after that."
"Why should I care what he does?" I glared up at him, "And why should you care what I do?"
Thankfully he didn't answer, nor did he acknowledge the waterworks that where again starting up. Instead, he took hold of my backpack and redirected me out the main doors and into the parking lot.
"Wanna go to the diner?" he offered when we got to his truck.
"Anywhere but," I moaned, hopping in on the passenger side and allowing him to take control of the situation, for once. He may be a loose cannon, but damn if Colt hadn't come through when I needed him.
He drove us back to his ranch. For a second I considered pointing out that his parents were sure to notice his truck and know we weren't in school, but then I realized he must know that too, and knew that they just wouldn't care.
Besides all the school he missed as it is, Colt would probably drop out altogether when he was old enough, like his brothers did, so, I didn't say anything and instead followed Colt to sit in the bed of his truck. We sat side-by-side, our legs hanging off the end of his tailgate, but instead of enjoying the view, all I could focus on was my feet dangling below me.
"That was pretty ugly, huh?" I said. For Colt to feel bad enough to come to my rescue, I must've looked really tragic.
"Even you didn't deserve that," he said.
"Even me," I smiled bitterly.
"You know I'm just teasing," he knocked his knee into mine, "It got a smile out of you though, didn't it?"
"I guess so," I allowed. I fell silent again, unsure of how much I was expected to say. Colt and I had never been the type of close friends that confided in each other, but just sitting here staring at nothing was making me uncomfortable. Lord knows Colt could probably sit in silence forever, but I certainly couldn't.
"I don't know why I even care," I breathed out, "It's not like we were in any kind of relationship, anyway."
"Yes, you were," he laughed, "Don't fool yourself to make him less guilty; you, and I, and everyone else in this town, knows you two were something. He didn't end things right, and he got off easy, making you cry. If you had a brother, he would've had every right to knock him out."
I gaped at him for a moment. I hadn't expected him to take my side on the matter- he'd always been Farkle's friend, not mine. It made me smile in spite of myself that he did kinda like me, after all.
"I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one shot," I grinned at him, noting the red tinge that crept up to his ears.
"Shut up," he mumbled, pulling off his hat and readjusting it, "But I mean it- he messed up this time. For once."
I knew what that meant. Usually Colt was the one getting into all kinds of trouble, for fighting, for failing classes, for messing up something on the ranch. Farkle may have a bit of a reputation, but that was mostly because of his friendship with Colt- other than that, he was the golden boy.
Farkle and I both lived in town, if you could call it that, not on ranches. My dad is the local veterinarian and his is the mayor. We were both considered "stuck-up" by a lot of the ranchers' kids at school; that's why we became so close to begin with. When I got involved in motocross and Farkle got involved with Colt and his friends, we were a lot more accepted.
None of that changed the fact that the two of us would be going to college after graduation, while only a few others among our classmates could say the same. This time though, the irony was that the golden boy had messed things up and Colt had to try to fix it.
We sat quietly after that, lost in our own thoughts and watching the cows graze, until I started to fidget and Colt knew I wouldn't be able to sit still any longer.
"Wanna head back?" he glanced at his watch, "You're probably missing advanced bio or something."
"Har har," I laughed, even though in part it was true. I did take advanced chem, but I didn't have it until later today, "You just wanna make it back for lunch."
"I mean, it is pizza stix day," he pointed out, hopping off the tailgate.
"Well then, by all means," I laughed, following him back to the cab of the truck.
We got back to school just in time for Colt to get his pizza stix. I was worried about where we'd sit, but walking in to find Farkle settled with Missy's friends at their table cleared that up quickly. I sat with my usual group- some of the guys I'd seen at the diner, including that creep Billy, and my girl friends Maya, Sarah, and Smackle. Colt took his food out to the courtyard where the derelicts sit, and a I'm embarrassed to say I was glad he didn't try to join me.
"Where've you been all day?" Billy asked, "Mr. Hanes was asking about you."
"Shut up, Billy," Sarah rolled her eyes, "I told the office you weren't feel well. Lady problems, you know."
I tinged pink, "Thanks. I guess I'll have a lot of make up the work."
"I took notes for you," Smackle offered me a notebook, "Copy them when you get a chance. I got your homework, too."
"You're the best," Smackle and I were in a lot of the same classes, and I was hoping she'd be willing to fill me in. I guess I wasn't so good at skipping school, I'd been preoccupied with worry all morning.
"No problem," she said, "Now get to the good part. Zay Babineaux said she saw you leaving with Colt Friar."
"Yup," I said, not wanting to give too much detail with the boys sitting there. I knew they'd rat me out to Farkle in a minute, and stupidly, I still cared about what he'd think. I was going kill Zay next time I saw her, the little gossip.
"God, I'm almost jealous," Maya giggled, "I mean, I know your day totally sucked, but I'm sure Colt knew a way or too to get your mind off of Farkle."
"Eww Maya," I crinkled my nose, "It wasn't like that at all. I'd never."
"Never say never," Sarah nodded sagely, "There's more to Colt than you give him credit for, Riley."
Sarah was the preacher's daughter and always saw the best in everyone. Even though the Friar boys barely ever showed up at to her daddy's church, on the occasion that they did, they were always invited for to stay for dinner, and she had a soft spot for them. Maya, on the other hand, just had a raging, hormone-driven, ill-intended crush on them, any of the four of them, because she knew her father, the town sheriff, would kill her if she dated one of them. Smackle, like me, knew better than to even consider it, although he was very popular with the other girls at school.
After school I started to walk home, trying my best to ignore Farkle and Missy as I walked past them making out in his truck.
Colt rolled up next to me, "Hop in."
"Are you sure?" I glanced around to see if anyone, specifically Farkle was noticing this exchange.
"Not if you're embarrassed to be seen with me," he grumbled, low.
Now I'd offended him. I didn't even know Colt could be offended, let alone by the likes of me, "No, no I'm sorry. If you really don't mind, I'd love a ride."
"Then come on," he popped the passenger door open and I climbed in.
He drove me home with little conversation, somehow knowing where I lived without even asking. It wasn't uncomfortable, though. Something had definitely shifted in our relationship since that morning, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
The next morning he was there to pick me up when I headed out the door to go to school. My parents thankfully didn't notice, otherwise they'd certainly have some questions for me. It was one thing for me to ride around in the mayor's son's truck, but other boys were a different story entirely. Especially, I imagine, a boy like Colt.
We spent the next few days like this, him driving me to and from school, without ever really speaking to me in school any more than he used to. The only change was when Friday rolled around. Usually I'd go to the motocross track, and then the diner with Farkle, but I was avoided both places and him, too.
"Wanna come to the pool hall tonight?" Colt asked me, when he was dropping me off at my house that afternoon, "I mean, if you want?"
"The pool hall?" I asked, "Are we allowed in there? I thought it was 18 and over?"
"Oh," he considered this, "Maybe not."
It was nice of him to offer though, so I figured I'd exchange an invitation of my own, "Want to come over and watch a movie or something?"
He eyed my house warily, "Think your folks would mind?"
"They're out of town, visiting my aunt," I told him, hoping I didn't seem presumptuous.
"No wild party?" he cracked a smile to let me know he was only kidding.
"Listen, if you don't want to," I started.
"No, I do," he assured me, "but if I go home first, I'll just get shit from brothers for bailing on them."
"Want to just come in now then?" I asked.
"Sure," he nodded. How odd it must be to come from a family where not coming home at all was more acceptable than blowing off a Friday night pool game.
"Is Colt really your name?" I asked. I was flipped upside down next to him on the couch, half-heartedly watching some action movie we'd found playing on TV.
"Does Colt sound like a real name to you?" he raised his eyebrow quizzically.
"I mean," I shrugged, "I don't know. Who am I to judge you parents' naming?"
"No, Colt isn't my real name," he explained, "When I was a kid Jesse and Ty convinced Evan that my parents named me Colt because I was the youngest and smallest out of us all, and because I was kind of dumb, I guess, even for a baby. I ran into shit a lot."
"That's terrible," I frowned. The more I heard about and witnessed Colt's home life the more I understood why he didn't like to talk about it.
"Nah, that's just kid stuff," he shrugged, "The terrible part was my parents thought it was so funny they let it stick. I'm even enrolled in school as Colt Friar."
"Aww," I reached out to awkwardly upside down pat his leg, "What's your real name? I'll call you that, if you want."
"I can't tell you now," he barked out a harsh laugh, "No one at school knows, my own family's probably forgotten it."
"C'mon," I pouted, "What is it?"
"Lucas," he mumbled.
"Lucas?" I repeated, sitting up in a hurry, "That's such a normal name."
"You don't have to tell me," he laughed bitterly, "But don't mention it to anyone, I'll know it was you. Plus, Colt sounds kinda tough. They meant it to make fun of me, but did you know I'm almost as tall as Jess now? I'll probably be the tallest out of all of us, because I'm not done growing."
"I did notice that," I nodded solemnly, although I really hadn't. It always seems important for boys' to be noticeably tall, and who was I to deny him that, when he'd been so nice to me lately.
"Can I call you Lucas?" I asked after a minute of consideration.
He eyed me suspiciously, "I mean, I guess. But why would you want to?"
"I dunno, 'cause it's your real name?" I returned his look, albeit uneasily.
"You're strange," he shook his head.
"For what it's worth," I held his gaze, "I think you'd be just as 'tough' as Lucas."
He didn't say anything, but I'm sure he nearly chewed off the inside of his cheek trying to hide his grin.
The more time I spent with Colt- Lucas- the more he warmed up to me. I'd always assumed he was so quiet because he had nothing to say, or didn't care, but really he was just shy. I sorta, I don't know, liked seeing this side of him; bringing him out of his shell a little.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked him on Tuesday as he sat besides me at the library, playing some game on his phone as I studied.
"C'mon, Matthews, you're a smart girl, you know this one. I'm going to be a ranch hand when I "grow up", otherwise known as as soon as I graduate, sooner if I drop out like everyone wants me to.
"Not what are you likely going to be," I shook my head, "What would you like to be? If you could be anything?"
"Oh, I've played this game before," he shook his head, smiling, "This is the part where I tell you I want to be a vet. One time I watched a cow give birth, and it's stuck with me ever since."
I stared at him. The boy was constantly surprising me- not only had he strung a complete sentence together, he'd been sarcastic, too! Sardonic, even.
"Alright smartass, if you're not going to take me seriously, you don't have to tease. I just wanted a break from studying and thought you might have some interesting ideas to share," I shrugged, "Guess not."
He paused, before grinning crookedly, "Promise not to tell?"
"To the grave," I crossed my heart.
"Well, I always kinda thought I'd like to be a truck driver," he rushed to explain, "I know it's not like, a good job, or fancy, or takes any smarts or anything, but at least I'll get out of here."
"You hate it here that bad?" I asked quietly, avoiding eye contact.
"It's not so terrible," he chewed his lip, "I get along better with my brothers, now that they don't think I'm such a kid any more, but I'd like to go somewhere where nobody knows me or my family. That way I️ wouldn't have any sort of reputation and people could get to know me."
"There're people right here in town who'd like to get to know you," I said, "You just have to let them."
He was quiet, but when I did lift my head to catch his eyes, and the smile in them was worth all the words he didn't say.
"Wanna go to a party?" Maya asked me that Friday in the cafeteria.
"Where's it?" I️ asked, munching on a French fry in what I️ hoped was a casual manner. What I️ was really asking was if Colt would be invited too.
"Billy's," she said, quickly adding, "But we totally don't even have to talk to him. You can even bring Colt, we'll all stay in the back or something. They'll do a bonfire, I'm sure."
"Oh, that's a great idea," I️ rolled my eyes. Montana has enough forest fires without us being responsible for another one.
When he drove me home that afternoon, I️ extended the invitation to Colt.
"You really want to go to that idiots house?" Colt grumbled, "I️ thought you couldn't stand him?"
"I️ mean, I️ don't like him," I️ laughed, "But I️ didn't particularly like you a month ago, either. Maybe it'll be fun."
"Why do you want me to come?" he asked, "Won't you be with all your girls?"
"I guess I️ thought we could all hang out," I️ shrugged, "You don't have to if you don't want to. Maya just thought-"
"Maya?" he asked, "Martin? She trying to get me arrested or something?"
"No, not at all," I️ shook my head, "She isn't like that. I️ swear, if it sucks, we can leave right away!"
"You'd leave your friends' party with me?" he asked after a minutes hesitation.
"Of course," I️ answered honestly.
He gave me his signature half-grin, "Alright, let's do it."
"Colt's in, I'm in," I️ texted Maya, and immediately got back a series of emojis representing her reaction to the news.
Now, let's see if I️ could strum up that kind of enthusiasm from my parents.
"What kind of party?" my dad asked.
"I️ don't know," I️ shrugged, "The regular kind. Whatever kind you'll let me go to."
"Who's house is it at?" my mom asked.
"Billy's," I️ murmured. She loved Billy's mom, but she knew I️ wasn't too fond of him and I️ didn't want to make her suspicious.
"Well if you're going with Farkle, I️ don't see why not," my dad allowed.
"Yes, how is Farkle?" my mom was easily sidetracked, "He hasn't been by lately."
"He'll be there," I️ nodded, avoiding her question and addressing my dad, "But I'll probably go with Maya."
"She's driving?" he raised an eyebrow, knowing Sheriff Martin wouldn't let his daughter drink and drive.
"Sam's going to drive us," I️ corrected.
"Well, I️ don't see why not," my mom looked to my dad for the final approval.
"Sure," he shrugged, "Just be home by midnight."
"Twelve thirty," my mom interjected, "She has such nice friends."
"Twelve thirty," my dad agreed, "But get some homework done first."
"You got it," I️ gave him a squeeze on the shoulder as I️ passed him to go to the kitchen for a snack before I️ cracked open my geometry textbook.
"So what color is your dress?" Farkle approached me at the party. Apparently we were speaking to each other again.
"Huh?" I asked, looking down at my jeans and T-shirt ensemble.
"For homecoming," he reminded me, "You told me that you and Maya were going to pick out dresses like two weeks ago."
That was one of the things, one of many, I'd always appreciated about Farkle- he paid attention to the little things.
"Oh, yeah," I agreed, "We did. It's blue, but what does that have to do with you?"
"Well, I mean, we always said we'd go together," he said slowly, "Haven't we?"
"Yes," I nodded, "But that was before. I'm not going with you now. Aren't you going to go with Missy?"
"No, Missy-" he started, "Missy was a mistake. You're the girl for me, Riley."
"That's not the impression I got," I almost laughed, "And I'm sure it's not the one she got either. The two of you made out all over the place."
"That was just-" Farkle rarely struggled with his words, and I was delighted to see him faltering for once, "We were having fun. But Missy's not exactly a girl I could seriously date. I mean, her dad hates my dad. He campaigned against him, and he wasn't even running!"
"Oh! So, because you're not allowed to date Missy you're suddenly interested in me again?" I said, the realization dawning on me, "Or is your dad just interested in you being seen with me again."
"Come on, Riley," he tried again, "Let's just forget these past two weeks ever even happened. We can go back to the way things were."
"I don't know that I can do that," I gave him a hard look. Between his betrayal and my newfound friendship with Colt, I wasn't sure I wanted to forget.
"Well who're you gonna go with then?" he asked, "Billy? Lord knows Friar won't go to a school dance like that, even if they'd let him in."
"I didn't say I wanted to go with Colt," I denied, wondering what'd given it away.
"Please, Riley," he rolled his eyes, "It's so obvious, you're following him around like a little lost puppy. You were so eager to hop into his pickup you probably didn't even stop to think of all the girls who'd been in there first. You really think you're any different, to him? No way. He wouldn't've even gone after you that day in the hallway if it weren't for me."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Riley," he sighed, like it pained him to have to dumb this down for me, "You've known Colt for how long now? Forever? Has he ever been the type of guy to follow a crying girl to a bathroom to console her? Hell no! I knew you were upset, so I sent him after you."
"You knew I was upset," I repeated slowly, "And so you sent Colt to find me?"
"I didn't want you making a scene and embarrassing yourself," he explained, "I was trying to watch out for you."
"So you left me with Colt as a babysitter," I said, "So you could carry on with Missy guilt-free. And now that you two are over, what? You're calling trade-backs?"
"It's not like that," he smiled ruefully, "I realized I never should've been with Missy, or let you be with Colt. They're not like us, they don't get us."
"You mean their parents aren't like our parents," I paused, "So we can't date them. Or, really, you can't be seen with Missy, so you want me to stop hanging out with Colt, and start hanging out with you again."
"It's not like that," he claimed, without bothering to explain himself any further.
"Farkle," I said calmly, "Go to hell."
I️ turned around and went to find Colt, to give him a chance to explain his side, "So, I️ just spoke to our good buddy Farkle-"
"You know, I'm not stupid or anything," he said, and I️ nearly flinched at his harsh tone, "I know you all think I'm just another dumb ranch hand, but I'm not."
"I️ don't think you're dumb," I reassured him, even though we both knew I had, up until recently at least.
"Everyone thinks I'm dumb," he insisted, "And that's fine. I'm just dumb ol' Colt, I don't talk, I don't think before I act, I know, I get it. But I don't wanna be involved with you two and your games."
"Our games?" I asked, confused. I️ was supposed to be the one mad at him, not the other way around!
"Yes, your games," he spat, "You and Farkle and the back-and-forth; I want out. I don't want to be involved in any part of it, not anymore."
"Why not?" I hit back, "You didn't want out when Farkle sent you after me to the bathroom, did you? No, when Farkle asked you to 'babysit' me, you did, gladly. What's changed now?"
"I liked you," he laughed bitterly, "I still like you. But I get it now- it'll always be you and Farkle. And that's fine. I've got it through my thick head now, so I want out."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I just gaped stupidly at him as he got into his truck, slammed the door, and drove away.
I tried to get him out of my head, I really did. I sat passively as things went back to the way they had always been- Farkle and I, side-by-side in a booth, Colt across the diner with his brothers, perpetually covered in a layer of dust. I tried to convince myself that was what I wanted, that things were too complicated with Colt, that I knew my place when I was with Farkle. I got back to the track- rode my bike more and more often, half hoping to outrun the thoughts that kept entering my head. Thoughts of him, of how sweet he'd been despite how I'd always viewed him, looking down on him over the edge of my upturned nose. I'd thought he was trouble, reckless and rude, one of the many nobodies at my high school, on track for a life of hard labor on the ranches I didn't understand and didn't belong on. But now I knew differently. I knew he wanted more, more than a family who called him by a made-up name, long ago intended to hurt him and now worn like a badge of honor. More than being the golden boy's troublemaking best friend and the school's go-to criminal, assumed guilty until proven innocent of all crimes of graffiti and general disobedience. And apparently, at one point or another, he'd also wanted me.
Still, I avoided him when I could, and ignored him when I couldn't. I didn't know how to process that he'd had feelings for me and felt taken advantage of- he'd preyed on me when I was emotionally vulnerable, and that hurt me too.
So Farkle and I went to homecoming together, me in my light blue dress and him in a navy suit jacket, my mother taking a million pictures of us.
And when Farkle and Missy were crowned junior prince and princess, I honestly didn't think anything of it. Missy was more popular than I, for sure, and they'd technically been 'together' during the voting window.
When she leaned in to kiss him and he kissed back, however, I felt borderline ill.
"Riley," Sarah gasped, grabbing my arm, "Oh my God, Riley, let's get out of here."
"That little skitch," Maya breathed when we got to her car.
"Which one?" Smackle huffed.
"Both of them," she furrowed her brow.
"Let's go to Billy's," I said.
"What?" all three heads turned suddenly.
"I wanna go," I scowled, "I want a drink."
Sarah crossed herself, giggling, as Maya took off, thrilled to bits, I'm sure.
I was in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face, when the door opened. I had assumed it was one of the girls, until I felt someone press up behind me and I broke out in goosebumps. I knew without looking that it was Colt. I hadn't even seen him when we walked in.
"He's an idiot for ditching you," he said softly, his voice even lower than usual, "Again."
As I turned to meet his gaze he bent towards me, and for once I was close enough to see what all the other girls were always talking about. I could have traced his scars, counted his light freckles, or picked apart the blue of his eyes, but instead I settled for doing what I'd wanted to do since all this nonsense started, and probably even before then, if I'm being honest.
I pressed my mouth to his, tentatively at first, but when I felt him leaning into me, I felt more sure I'd made the right move.
When I finally pulled away, he looked a little dazed, "You… like me?"
"Is that okay?" I asked, biting my lower lip.
"You're something else," he laughed, shaking his head. He kissed me again, lifting me onto the counter so we were seeing almost eye-to-eye.
"And you like me?" I double checked for good measure- I certainly wouldn't want another awkward situation like the one I'd been in with Farkle.
"Was my confession and kissing you not enough of a hint?" he asked, sarcastically. Oh my God, I'd created a monster.
I drew our lips together in response, my mind reeling and dizzy with the feeling of my own breath pounding in my ears.
"But how?" I broke it off again to question him, "You never talked to me."
He angled his head and dropped his mouth to my cheek, my chin, the underside of my jaw.
"You were always busy," he pointed out, returning his lips to mine, our teeth clanking when he spoke.
"Why did you come find me?" I panted, my breath hitching as his thumb grazed my collarbone.
"Right now?" he eyed me, confused by my sudden desire to play 20 Questions.
"The last time you followed me to the bathroom…ring any bells?" I asked.
"Partly 'cause Minkus asked me to," he admitted, before kissed me again, "Partly for selfish reasons. I guess I saw my shot."
He hovered an inch from my mouth thoughtfully, before tracing our lips together, "Is that okay?"
"That's," I paused, thinking it through. All things considered, it wasn't the worst way to start a relationship- half friendly, half self-servicing. Really, it wasn't any different than what I had done; using him to get back at Farkle, but finding myself enjoying the time spent together, "That's more than okay. That's great."
We kissed and kissed and kissed, until every nerve ending in my body ignited. My brain spun with uncertainty- this couldn't actually be happening, me and Colt Friar?- but, as his calloused palm skated up my side to cup my cheek, I found it hard to care.
My heart was pounding, and we both breathing raggedly, but the sound of someone banging on the door made us spring apart.
Colt backed off me, all tousled hair and labored breathing, "What, uh, what should we do about that?"
I swung off the counter and interlocked his hand in mine, shrugging, "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go."
We walked out of the bathroom like that, and were greeted by many wolf-whistles and one pissed off looking Farkle.
Pulling Colt to an armchair in a secluded corner of the party, I pushed him down in it and settled myself on his lap, to pick up where we'd left off.