Even Only

"The O.C."

Ryan Atwood & Summer Roberts

Fan Fiction

Written by

Kae / "The O.C." is non mine.

Chapter One: Assuring

Ryan Atwood held onto her. He didn't even notice that her body began to feel frigid. Maybe it was the burning truck from a far that kept him warm, or something. He sat there and waited for her to open her eyes, as if it were one of those times that he would view Marissa Cooper simply sleeping. He smiled at the thought of her having a clear view of him, her face glowing with a smile, but that wasn't going to happen. Strangers surrounded him--- from the firefighters, cops and to the paramedics. They spoke to him, told him what they were about to do and questioned him about her. Finally, noises that came from the different vehicles that surrounded the scene slowly began to make its way within his earshot. "Sir! Sir," a paramedic exclaimed. "We need you to step away…"

It's been a month since Marissa Cooper died, with her body buried six feet under; it still wasn't real to him. The sun found its way towards Ryan's eyes. It didn't bother him; hence, he was already awake. He closed his eyes again. Then opened them. Ryan raised his arm up and used his hand to cover his view of the sun. He slowly clenched his fist; he looked at it for a second. He brought his hand back down to stop his tears from pouring down his face.

Summer Roberts found her way into Marissa's room. She sat down on the bed and looked around. She couldn't really find anything to remember her by, seeing that Kaitlin Cooper had already decorated the room with all of her things.

"Hey," Julie Cooper stepped in.

"Hi," Summer looked at her and quickly turned away. "I'm trying to… just feel. Coop's presence. I… you know… remember. It was an actual goodbye…" Summer paused.

"Your last conversation?" Julie sat beside her.

"Yeah, but I didn't… I didn't get a single sense of… I had no idea it would be, like, an actual goodbye."

Julie turned and hugged her.

Seth Cohen knocked on the pool house door and walked in. "Hey, man."

Ryan quickly sat up. "Hey, what's up?" Ryan asked, getting up off the bed.

"Nothing. Um… you wanna go get a bite to eat?"

"Nah, man. I'm not really hungry right now. Maybe later?" Ryan grabbed his shoes and sat back down on the bed.

"You wanna go surf?" Seth pitched another idea.

"You know I never got into that," Ryan reminded him.

"Sail?"

"No. Look. Um…" Ryan got up.

"Where you going?" Seth asked, following Ryan out the door.

"Somewhere. I'm just…" Ryan hasn't been able to speak to anyone. He would always allow his words to trail and everybody else would just let it.

Ryan made his way through the kitchen. He grabbed the key for the car and quickly walked out the door.

"Ryan!" Seth yelled from behind.

Ryan got into the car and turned on the engine. "Seth!"

"Yeah, man?"

"Tell Sandy, I borrowed the car." Ryan quickly stepped on the gas and drove off the driveway.

Summer sat beside the pool. She took her sandals off and rested them aside, as she dipped her feet under the water. Using her hands to support herself, she leaned back. She looked up at the sky; then closed her eyes.

"I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to you."

"I know."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"You're my best friend forever, okay?"

Summer quickly dove into the pool.

Ryan parked the car in front of the model home and made his way back to the pool. He took his pants and shoes off and dove in. Under water, he took his shirt off and continued swimming. He slowly swam toward Summer, who was slightly sitting on the ground, her eyes close and holding her breath. He lightly grabbed Summer by her shoulder. She suddenly opened her eyes.

They both swam back up.

"What the fuck, Ryan!" Summer exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked.

"What else do you think? Swimming," she said, pulling her hair back.

"You have your own pool," Ryan reminded her.

"So. You have your own pool house, which pretty much goes to show that you have your own pool… too!" Summer retorted.

"Seriously, what are you doing here?"

'Oh. My. Gosh. Have you been breaking in here?" Summer asked.

"No," Ryan answered.

"What is this, like, your tenth time?" Summer joked.

"No, more like…" Ryan let his words trail, as he stepped out of the pool. He held out his hand and helped Summer out.

"Thanks," Summer said holding onto his hand. "How have you been Ryan Atwood?"

"Okay. You?" Ryan said, not looking at her.

"Okay. Better… actually. I, uh, to answer your question actually, I just wanted to… remember. Her."

"That's right," Ryan paused and looked around. "This was the last place you spoke… with her."

"Yeah. Exactly."

"I'm sorry, Summer." Ryan looked at her.

"About what?" she turned to him.

"Her… you know? I, um… I'm sorry, I couldn't…"

"Please tell me you don't blame yourself, Atwood."

"If only…" he turned away.

"Ryan… Ryan, look at me," Summer said, placing her hand over his. He turned his attention to her. "You have nothing to be sorry about. What happened with Coop, it was an accident. There was nothing you could've done. It was that stupid assface, Volchack. Not you. The only thing you should be sorry about… well, pretty much those boxers. What are you, like, twelve?" Summer smiled.

"Thank you," Ryan smiled in return.

He's heard those words before, words that were suppose to help him, but didn't. But hearing them come out of Summer Robert's mouth, was more than assuring.