Boo's Journal
Part 1
(Disclaimer: If you believe that I own Baldur's Gate 1,2 or any affiliations of these games you are most utterly WRONG!!!! I DO NOT OWN THESE THOUGH I WISH I DID. I am not affiliated with Bioware, Black Isle, Interplay or anyone who had Anything to do with the creation of this game. I am just a fan who has stolen Boo's journal and placed it here to allow you to know the secrets of this hamster.)
Day 1: In this journal I will place all my thoughts as to what I do as often as I can. Squeak. Ahem. Today was like any other day. I went out on patrol to a small planet called Buland to investigate rumors of hamster slavery. We of the Hamstian Police Department are not ones to allow that in on our watch! As a space hamster I have watched many of my kind be shipped away into the corrupted abyss that is this planet called Terrasphere by my kind. Or Earth. This filth ridden, nausea invocating, putrid, rancid, disease ridden, insect filled, trashy, piece of a rat's ass!!! Will not keep me from my mission to stop the smuggling to that planet. I shall simply pick up the rat's ass and toss into the garbage disposal to keep from getting sick and continue on my way. And I must swat the insects. Yes. SWAT!! DIE YOU INSECTS!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!! YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES END HERE!! FALL CREATURES AND FEED THE EARTH!! SEE BATTLE BOO!! RUN BOO RUN!!! GO FOR THE EYES!! YOKATTA!!!
Day 2: This is the life.I am in power on this space ship! None shall stop my rule!!! Day 3: This sucks.
Day 6: I have been monitoring all trade here in Bunland and it all seems well except for one place. Hamster Assorted Slave Trade To Earth Inc. seemed a very suspicious. They were too cooperative. I shall investigate them further. Perhaps tomorrow.
Day 7: HASTTE Inc. is a slave trading company!!!! They know I know!! Or do they? I shall be extra careful incase they know I know they know I know. But what if they know I know they know I know they know?! But they don't know I know they know I know they know I know. What? I know!! But what if they know I am inntesligente enough to know this!! I must be wary indeed.
Day 9: They have destroyed my ship!!! Bitches!! How will I stop them now!! They know I know they're leaving the planet with hundreds of my kin!!! By the time they reach Terrasphere the number will be in the thousands. What, just cause we're hamsters don't mean we cant entertain ourselves with a few wenches. He he he. Ahem sorry. Got a little. ahem. I must rescue the hamster females and bring them to me. He he he.(. I have a mission to continue my family line you know. I will do as my Great Grandpa Myckey and my father Hamtahro did. I'll screw hundreds of wenches, once they're wasted, and have hundreds of kids. Ignore child support and only claim one as my son!!! Oh yes. He shall learn the family trade.
Day 10: I have stolen a ship designed to travel "Between the Planes" just like the one the slavers are on. Mine is a sphere though. Very roomy. Lots of rooms in here. I have also enlisted the help of the owner of this vessel. A man of the Corthala family. A Spell caster of sorts. Calls himself a mage he does. I will have to adjust to the way of living in this "Prime Material Plane" we are headed to. Wait, weren't we going to earth? I guess it's there. The Space Hamsters Will prevail!
Day 19: I am sorry for not writing sooner but I have been busy learning about the ways of these primitive 'humans' as they call themselves. Lavok has shown me wizardry. Apparently I have 'much untapped power'. My powers are far beyond all of his. I am nimble and stealthy! He has shown me ways to become wiser and more intelligent, ways he could not use because of his humanness. I have been studying the ways of Elminster for a while and I am a far more powerful creature than any other! Worthy of Godliness says Lavok. I think he is just attempting to stay alive. I hold so much power it is unbelievable. I am also able to polymorph into anything I wish!! Why just the other day I became Lavok himself! The bastard got so damn scared!! HA!! Boy this is so much fun. And also my fighting abilities have increased highly. Why even on my planet I would be able to take down armies. And even though Lavok is half my size, he still challenges my mind with puzzles and riddles to which he usually knows not the answer. Yet all's good. I seem to outdo even the greatest minds at every turn. It is great.
Day 25: We're getting closer to the Terrasphere. Those slavers will not get anywhere unfazed. Hell yes!! I will prevail in my quest!! If only we had some photon torpedoes or long range lasers on this piece of garbage I could take out these slavers unchallenged. My skills with the weaponry of 'Earth Time' are unmatched now by any of Lavok's creatures. I will be sure to take a spot in power once I get to Faerun. Faerun is the area of the world where the slavers are headed. Lavok has explained to me that while times may be strange and bizarre creatures walk the land, I require a better form than this. He suggests I take on a human form. One with which I can walk the land. I will also need a name. Apparently Boo means something else on this plane. I have chosen a name, which I shall not reveal just yet. For if anyone finds this, I will be doomed. They might uncover me for what I truly am and then the slavers will run. I cannot take that chance. I will need more teaching of the times, though, if I am to survive out there. It's a bitchin' name though.
Day 27: Lavok has taught me something I find odd. It seems that on the Terrasphere, hamsters are considered pets. We are also quite small compare to humans. Of course, my race of hamsters is not. We are alike to them in every way but in our size. They grow only to be a few inches in length! Quite unlike my kind. We are on average 11-13 ft tall. Interesting. Very Interesting.
Day 28: I have been in this human form for about a week now and I find it odd the way it is so light. Such mobility and speed! I am exhilarated beyond belief!! And such strength can fit into this tiny body! And the amount of knowledge a brain ΒΌ the size of mine can store. Quite a computer. I have memorized as many spells I could find to be prepared for anything. Nothing will detain me from my goal: To rule all with an Iron Fist!! Bwahahaha!!!!!! I mean, to uh. stop the.uh.slavers, yeah. He. He. He. Oh screw it. who cares if you know what I truly desire. You're my private diary. It matters not. Journal.not diary. JOURNAL. yes. My diary. JOURNAL!!!! My Journal!! Yes that's it. My Journal. I mean diary. No! Journal!!!!! Okay!! Now that it's established that you're my diary we can move on. Damn it!! Why must this be written in pen!!! Well at least I can scratch it out. I will be ruler of all. A dictator, a Tyrant, a bastard of a leader and none shall stop me!! (Except perhaps the cruel hand of death during a time in which those of power like me are forced to walk among the normal people and are weakened.) HAHAHAHA!! That makes me laugh. My power shall be uncontested as the. *(The rest of this entry is unreadable. *(Actually it is left blank to build the suspense. Yet if you have not guessed who Boo is as a 'human'/other race of the forgotten Realms then we shall not tell you he is soon to become none other than Jon Irenicus.))
Day 30: Soon my time will come. We are but 2 weeks away from my arrival on Earth. Then I will join my kind. That is, my Earthly kind. In other words, the Earth kin I have taken the form of. We shall see how these fools stand against me. We shall see if these powerless creatures can stand the power of my mighty power. They're all so idiotic and so foolish!! They're asses are about to be mine and the fags don't know it!! Ha ha ha.
* This is but chapter 1 of the great Boo Saga. Not what you were expecting? Please R&R!! Also, it will get funnier. Just read the next chapter when it appears. Warning, Big Spoilers in this Fanfic. Oh, should I have put that in the beginning? Oops.
By BooDaHamster.
*All grammar and spelling errors are for the purpose of making this look authentic. Even hamsters make mistakes. I may have slipped a bit though, so please tell me of anything I did not catch during editing.
Part 1
(Disclaimer: If you believe that I own Baldur's Gate 1,2 or any affiliations of these games you are most utterly WRONG!!!! I DO NOT OWN THESE THOUGH I WISH I DID. I am not affiliated with Bioware, Black Isle, Interplay or anyone who had Anything to do with the creation of this game. I am just a fan who has stolen Boo's journal and placed it here to allow you to know the secrets of this hamster.)
Day 1: In this journal I will place all my thoughts as to what I do as often as I can. Squeak. Ahem. Today was like any other day. I went out on patrol to a small planet called Buland to investigate rumors of hamster slavery. We of the Hamstian Police Department are not ones to allow that in on our watch! As a space hamster I have watched many of my kind be shipped away into the corrupted abyss that is this planet called Terrasphere by my kind. Or Earth. This filth ridden, nausea invocating, putrid, rancid, disease ridden, insect filled, trashy, piece of a rat's ass!!! Will not keep me from my mission to stop the smuggling to that planet. I shall simply pick up the rat's ass and toss into the garbage disposal to keep from getting sick and continue on my way. And I must swat the insects. Yes. SWAT!! DIE YOU INSECTS!!DIE!!DIE!!DIE!!! YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES END HERE!! FALL CREATURES AND FEED THE EARTH!! SEE BATTLE BOO!! RUN BOO RUN!!! GO FOR THE EYES!! YOKATTA!!!
Day 2: This is the life.I am in power on this space ship! None shall stop my rule!!! Day 3: This sucks.
Day 6: I have been monitoring all trade here in Bunland and it all seems well except for one place. Hamster Assorted Slave Trade To Earth Inc. seemed a very suspicious. They were too cooperative. I shall investigate them further. Perhaps tomorrow.
Day 7: HASTTE Inc. is a slave trading company!!!! They know I know!! Or do they? I shall be extra careful incase they know I know they know I know. But what if they know I know they know I know they know?! But they don't know I know they know I know they know I know. What? I know!! But what if they know I am inntesligente enough to know this!! I must be wary indeed.
Day 9: They have destroyed my ship!!! Bitches!! How will I stop them now!! They know I know they're leaving the planet with hundreds of my kin!!! By the time they reach Terrasphere the number will be in the thousands. What, just cause we're hamsters don't mean we cant entertain ourselves with a few wenches. He he he. Ahem sorry. Got a little. ahem. I must rescue the hamster females and bring them to me. He he he.(. I have a mission to continue my family line you know. I will do as my Great Grandpa Myckey and my father Hamtahro did. I'll screw hundreds of wenches, once they're wasted, and have hundreds of kids. Ignore child support and only claim one as my son!!! Oh yes. He shall learn the family trade.
Day 10: I have stolen a ship designed to travel "Between the Planes" just like the one the slavers are on. Mine is a sphere though. Very roomy. Lots of rooms in here. I have also enlisted the help of the owner of this vessel. A man of the Corthala family. A Spell caster of sorts. Calls himself a mage he does. I will have to adjust to the way of living in this "Prime Material Plane" we are headed to. Wait, weren't we going to earth? I guess it's there. The Space Hamsters Will prevail!
Day 19: I am sorry for not writing sooner but I have been busy learning about the ways of these primitive 'humans' as they call themselves. Lavok has shown me wizardry. Apparently I have 'much untapped power'. My powers are far beyond all of his. I am nimble and stealthy! He has shown me ways to become wiser and more intelligent, ways he could not use because of his humanness. I have been studying the ways of Elminster for a while and I am a far more powerful creature than any other! Worthy of Godliness says Lavok. I think he is just attempting to stay alive. I hold so much power it is unbelievable. I am also able to polymorph into anything I wish!! Why just the other day I became Lavok himself! The bastard got so damn scared!! HA!! Boy this is so much fun. And also my fighting abilities have increased highly. Why even on my planet I would be able to take down armies. And even though Lavok is half my size, he still challenges my mind with puzzles and riddles to which he usually knows not the answer. Yet all's good. I seem to outdo even the greatest minds at every turn. It is great.
Day 25: We're getting closer to the Terrasphere. Those slavers will not get anywhere unfazed. Hell yes!! I will prevail in my quest!! If only we had some photon torpedoes or long range lasers on this piece of garbage I could take out these slavers unchallenged. My skills with the weaponry of 'Earth Time' are unmatched now by any of Lavok's creatures. I will be sure to take a spot in power once I get to Faerun. Faerun is the area of the world where the slavers are headed. Lavok has explained to me that while times may be strange and bizarre creatures walk the land, I require a better form than this. He suggests I take on a human form. One with which I can walk the land. I will also need a name. Apparently Boo means something else on this plane. I have chosen a name, which I shall not reveal just yet. For if anyone finds this, I will be doomed. They might uncover me for what I truly am and then the slavers will run. I cannot take that chance. I will need more teaching of the times, though, if I am to survive out there. It's a bitchin' name though.
Day 27: Lavok has taught me something I find odd. It seems that on the Terrasphere, hamsters are considered pets. We are also quite small compare to humans. Of course, my race of hamsters is not. We are alike to them in every way but in our size. They grow only to be a few inches in length! Quite unlike my kind. We are on average 11-13 ft tall. Interesting. Very Interesting.
Day 28: I have been in this human form for about a week now and I find it odd the way it is so light. Such mobility and speed! I am exhilarated beyond belief!! And such strength can fit into this tiny body! And the amount of knowledge a brain ΒΌ the size of mine can store. Quite a computer. I have memorized as many spells I could find to be prepared for anything. Nothing will detain me from my goal: To rule all with an Iron Fist!! Bwahahaha!!!!!! I mean, to uh. stop the.uh.slavers, yeah. He. He. He. Oh screw it. who cares if you know what I truly desire. You're my private diary. It matters not. Journal.not diary. JOURNAL. yes. My diary. JOURNAL!!!! My Journal!! Yes that's it. My Journal. I mean diary. No! Journal!!!!! Okay!! Now that it's established that you're my diary we can move on. Damn it!! Why must this be written in pen!!! Well at least I can scratch it out. I will be ruler of all. A dictator, a Tyrant, a bastard of a leader and none shall stop me!! (Except perhaps the cruel hand of death during a time in which those of power like me are forced to walk among the normal people and are weakened.) HAHAHAHA!! That makes me laugh. My power shall be uncontested as the. *(The rest of this entry is unreadable. *(Actually it is left blank to build the suspense. Yet if you have not guessed who Boo is as a 'human'/other race of the forgotten Realms then we shall not tell you he is soon to become none other than Jon Irenicus.))
Day 30: Soon my time will come. We are but 2 weeks away from my arrival on Earth. Then I will join my kind. That is, my Earthly kind. In other words, the Earth kin I have taken the form of. We shall see how these fools stand against me. We shall see if these powerless creatures can stand the power of my mighty power. They're all so idiotic and so foolish!! They're asses are about to be mine and the fags don't know it!! Ha ha ha.
* This is but chapter 1 of the great Boo Saga. Not what you were expecting? Please R&R!! Also, it will get funnier. Just read the next chapter when it appears. Warning, Big Spoilers in this Fanfic. Oh, should I have put that in the beginning? Oops.
By BooDaHamster.
*All grammar and spelling errors are for the purpose of making this look authentic. Even hamsters make mistakes. I may have slipped a bit though, so please tell me of anything I did not catch during editing.