Just what the hell is the big idea, Seimei? Don't you have enough toys? Did you need to take Soubi with you? You have your own Fighter, you know. Yes, I'm aware Soubi isn't my Fighter, but that's irrelevant; there's no need for a sacrifice to have two completely devoted Fighters. Just when I was starting to come to terms with who I am and how I felt about Soubi, you ripped the rug out from underneath me. Why? Why would you send me someone who was willing to protect me, to love me when no one else did, and then take him away just as I was beginning to open up and trust him…and love him in return? Or maybe he didn't love me, and that was just part of your order that he was still following. Well, whatever the case, your timing leaves a lot to be desired.
You know, I never thought I could actually despise my own brother, but I'm falling down that path, it seems. People say they think I'm looking for a reason to hate Seimei. What they don't realize, is that I'm looking for any reason to not hate him. My brother has done terrible things, and I can get over all that. Well, I thought I could anyway. I had decided that no matter what Seimei did, I would love him. Ha, that lasted long, didn't it, Ritsuka? I guess I was naïve back then. Even if 'back then' was only about two months ago.
Soubi hadn't come back. There's been no word from Gomon or Ritsu-sensei, Nagisa-sensei or Seven, Soubi or Seimei. It's like that entire part of the world went dark; never to come back to the surface again. To be honest, I wouldn't be mad if the world of spell battles and all that were to suddenly just vanish. I don't pride myself on being a Sacrifice, especially one named Loveless. Ugh, Loveless. What a terrible name. Seimei's name, Beloved, is beautiful. Breathless…a bond that could take your breath away if you were to experience it yourself…Sleepless…fitting for the nights wide awake thinking about the one you love when they're not at your side…Fearless…living without fear…they're all such unique names with some kind of meaning, some kind of strength. Then there's me. Loveless. Unwanted, unloved, destined to be alone. That ugly name that now mars my side as if it has the right to be there. In hindsight, I suppose it does have that right, but that's not the point. If I had had a choice, I wouldn't have ever asked for it to appear.
I guess I should have expected Soubi to not want to be with me, to not love me; knowing what that name means. My mother has told me numerous times to die or get lost, my father just doesn't come around, our extended family doesn't want anything to do with us, and even Seimei has seemingly made it his mission to make my life a living hell. Like he's purposefully trying to break me down so I'm a wreck and he can come back and save the day and be the only person I'll ever want or need around. What the hell did I ever do to you to warrant this type of behavior, Seimei? What?
Seimei thinks he can get me to join him. Soubi said in the library that he was trying to get me to say the wrong thing and unknowingly bind myself to him. Whatever that means, I'm glad Soubi got the brains to step in and stand up to Seimei for once. Now where was that resolve in the graveyard the day Seimei came to take him away? When Seimei ordered him to come with him, and I begged him to stay behind with me? Am I not good enough? I know I can't and won't beat you like Seimei does, like you like, but Soubi you deserve so much better than that…What did I do to make you turn and walk away from me? Why wouldn't you just stay with me? I begged you, damn it! I practically got on my knees and begged you, and you still went with him! Your back was to me, Soubi…it was the last thing I'd ever see of you. Photographs and memories are too painful to deal with. I have them all tucked away for the days when you return to me…if you ever do. You know, you begged me to never leave you…and I agreed. God damn it, I kissed you first. I made the first move for the first time since we met! I promised I'd never leave you, never abandon you. But I guess the sentiment just isn't shared. You left me. You abandoned me. And now…I'm all alone…
But I don't lay all the fault and blame on you Soubi. How could I? You're just a mindless slave to my brother who doesn't know that he deserves better. Sure, Seimei beats you and controls you and orders you around in the way you were raised and trained to acknowledge and accept. But I love you. And kiss you, and talk to you, and hold your hand…I do all these things…yet for some reason, a harsher hand is better to you than a softer one. Why?
And as for you, Seimei¸ I will never join you. You understand that? I will never be like you. I will never be a liar and a traitor and a killer. I will never be these things. You've killed people and had your best friend beaten, hair chopped off, and raped by that disgusting creature you call your real Fighter. I could never condone that, never participate in it. How sick! Disgusting! I don't know who's worse. You who gave the orders, or the louse that followed them and enjoyed it.
See, Seimei, the thing is, I can't join you because I'm going to be the one to take you down. That's right, brother dear, I am your biggest threat, your strongest rival. Loveless versus Beloved. Polar opposites, we are, and that is all we'll ever be. Therefore, it will always be you against me. It can never be you and me against the world, Seimei. Good and evil can't coexist peacefully. Either surrender or die. That's the way the world works, you know. You've chosen to fight. A smart option in the long run, since two of the most powerful adult Fighters in the world serve you. And I emphasize adult because, let's face it, Yoji and Natsuo are just as good as your true Fighter…no, they're better. But they're not better than Soubi. No one can be better than Soubi. Soubi never loses. Soubi always wins. Soubi puts his heart and mind and soul and body into a fight; he'll give anything and do anything to help his Sacrifice succeed, to make him happy. Even if that Sacrifice is the violent bastard you are that can never be pleased no matter how hard he tries or how many fights he wins or how many people fall at his hands from your orders.
You see, I'm in love with him, Seimei. That's right. I've fallen for Soubi, and I've fallen hard. Bet you didn't calculate that, did you? Didn't think you were the only person I could love on this planet, right? Even though it's a different kind of love, I must emphasize since I know you often blur that line between the love of family and the love of a lover. If anyone is the pervert here, it's you. Ritsu, too, but mostly you.
And when you took Soubi from me, you started a war. Sure, I was miserable, lonely, depressed, pathetic after you took him. But I'm over all that childish nonsense now. You just want to break me, don't you Seimei? You could care less about me or how I feel, as long as it fulfills your plans and helps you succeed. I hope you fail, I really do. It's what you deserve after all the hell you've put me through, all the damage you've caused to Gomon and Ritsu and everyone else in our world, all the pain and suffering and emotional and physical abuse and trauma you forced down Soubi's throat and, hell, Akame's too. Far be it for me to defend that prick, but no one deserves the fate of being paired with you.
Sorry for the low blows, but this is a war after all, and all's fair in love and war, right Seimei? You want me to love you? I do love you. As a brother. But as a person, I think you're despicable and you should be ashamed of yourself for sinking as low as you have in life. Why couldn't you have been the Seimei that you projected to mother and father growing up? The Seimei that I knew and loved? The Seimei who couldn't hurt a fly and could never do no wrong? The Seimei that was devoted to me and spent all his time with me; playing and teaching me the things I needed to know? Was that the real Seimei? Was that ever the real Seimei? Or has it all been a game since you were born? Since I was born? I just don't understand it.
Prepare yourself, brother. When you took my Soubi away from me, you declared war. You may not have known it then, you probably don't know it now, but you're going to know it. Soon. I'm going to come for you and when I do, I'm taking Soubi back home with me. You can't keep him, Seimei, I refuse to let you do so. You need to know how to share. You said it wasn't my business, didn't you? What you were doing and why you were stealing him from me wasn't my business. Well, guess what? When you sent Soubi to me, you made it my business. When other Units started to attack me, you made it my business. When Ritsu and the rest of Septimal Moon contacted me, they made it my business. When Mikado told me about you, she made it my business. When you took Soubi from me, you made it my business. So get off your high horse, Seimei. You've been making it my business from day one, and everyone else is just dragging me even further and further down the rabbit hole of chaos.
I don't feel bad for you, Seimei, having a death warrant on your head. I don't feel bad for you for being on the run. I don't feel bad for you at all because, in the end, they were all your decisions. You knew the consequences, you understood, and yet you still did it anyway. I wonder if your conscience was telling you no; begging you not to, begging you to stop. Do you even have a conscience at this point? I'm finding it rather hard to believe so, really.
Before I start rambling and getting off on a tangent, I think I'm going to stop here with my musings. No need in me going insane like you. After all, how am I supposed to take you down if I'm as lost as you are?
This is my declaration of war, Seimei. I am coming for you. I am coming to stop you and take back what's rightfully mine. The man I love above all others…and my dignity. Loveless I may be. Alone I may be. I may have no Fighter and no training, but I don't need any of that to stop you. And I will stop you, Seimei. I've been preparing, planning, calculating, gathering supplies for the long six hour train to Gora where I'm pretty certain you're hiding. I'll have backup in the form of my friends, I can guarantee you that. But no Septimal Moon. No Gomon or Ritsu, no Nagisa or Seven, no Asitai or Mirai, no Breathless, no female Zero. Just me, Yoji, Natsuo, and you. And you will give Soubi back to me by the time I'm done, Seimei. I can guarantee you that. Love is stronger than fear.
I can only hope Soubi loves me more than he fears you.