Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Kirby Style! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} He wishes he was Kirby. Christopher Julius! (an original character from the other Whose Line episodes.) {cut to Meta Knight.} He helps Kirby. Meta Knight! {cut to Knuckle Joe.} He fights Kirby. Knuckle Joe! And. {cut o Kirby.} He is Kirby! Kirby! {cut to Gamer, who's in the all Kirby cast audience.} And I'm your host Gamer! C'mon! Let's have some fun! {walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right. The points are like shoes to a Cappy. {audience laughs.} Doesn't mean a thing. This is kinda a special show tonight. Of course it's all Kirby but also this fic will be posted, hopefully, on 3 different web sites! {audience applauds.} In other words, you can read the same crap over again twice! {audience laugh and applaud.} For all of you reading from ivynajspyder.com, Hello! Don't forget the read the other fics! They're great! {audience applauds.} For all of reading from Rainbow Resort, Hello! Don't forget to read the other fics! {audience applauds.} And for all you reading from fanfiction.net. {shakes his head.} Don't go too far. this is the only good thing here! {audience laughs.} I'm kidding of course! Check out the other fics! They're great! {audience applauds.} Let's go to our first game of the night, Weird Newscasters! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. Knuckle Joe and Kirby grab two stools.} Now you guys are gonna make a weird news show. But you're all gonna have strange quirks or identities. Joe is the anchor and Kirby is the co-anchor. Kirby, you are a dominatrix. {audience cheers and laughs.} that Joe has hired for the night!
Kirby: How'd you know my secret power? {audience laughs.}
Gamer: This was actually inspired by an oekaki picture I saw at Rainbow Resort in the oekaki section. It was done by Moon Beam and it is a great, funny picture. And if Moon Beam's reading, PLEASE DON'T SUE!!! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: He has enough legal trouble to worry about.
Gamer: And Meta Knight, you are the sportscaster. You're a country boy looking for a girlfriend. {audience laughs.} Oh, and the card says you're a country boy looking for a girlfriend. {audience laughs as Meta Knight glares at Gamer.} What a coincidence! And finally, C.J, you are doing the weather, and you are a washed up Magician doing old dad tricks.
C.J.: Yes! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: So whenever you're ready, take it away. GO! {news music starts playing.}
Joe: Good Evening! Welcome to the 6 o' clock news! I'm your anchor, Seymour Buttz! {audience laugh and cheer.} Our top story tonight! Last night, over 500 SubWay sandwiches were stolen all at once at a local SubWay. Police have yet to find any clues. In other new, Jared is fat again. {audience laugh and applaud.} And now, my co-anchor. Ivana Tinkle. {audience laughs.} Ivana.
Kirby: (Dominatrix that Joe has hired for the night.) {looks at Joe.} {fierce commanding female voice.} Get you're eyes of me, little man! I want you to get on the floor and LICK MY BOOT! {audience laughs.}
Joe: Yes ma'am! {he gets on his knees.}
Kirby: Lick them clean! {Joe pretends to lick Kirby's shoes. The audience is laughing and cheering.} GET UP! {Joe does so.} Lean against the stool! {Joe does so. Kirby pretend to hold a whip.} Who's a bad News Anchor. {whips him.}
Joe: AH! I'm a bad new anchor! {audience is still laughing.}
Kirby: Again! {whips him again}
Joe: I'm an AHH! Bad anchor! {Kirby pretends to hold something over Joe's back.} AHH! AHH! NOT THE WAX! {audience roar with laughter.} NOT THE WAX! AHHH!!! {Kirby whips him again.} AHH!
Kirby: That'll be $500! {audience laugh and cheer.}
Joe: {in fake pain.} Lets.t.take over to sports with Meta Knight. {couldn't think of a name.}
Meta Knight: (Country boy looking for a girlfriend) {fake southern accent.} YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!! {audience cheer and applaud.} In today's news, you're ol' country boy, Billy Bob Jim Bob Jimbo gonna be lookin' for a sweet piece of country boo-taaaaaaaay! {audience laughs.} Let's try to find someone outside the family and. {looks at Gamer. The audience is starting to laugh.} Well, well, well. What's a pretty gurl doin' behind a desk like dat? {Gamer is rapidly shaking his head. He gets closer.} Lemme sara-nate you! {pretends to hold a banjo, and adjusts the strings.} Twang, twang, twang, twang, twing! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You's a purdy lady! A purdy little lady. A purdy, purdy, lady with a purdy, purdy face! {audience cheers.} Purdy little hands! Purdy big feet! Let ol' Jimbo ride you, like a big ol' greased pig! {audience laugh and applaud.} {stops singing.}Enough with the hard to get! Give us a kiss! {audience roars with laughter as Meta Knight gets closer to Gamer. Gamer backs away and shakes his head.}
Gamer: NO!!! {audience is cheering and chanting "Do it!" "Do it!"} Hell no! {Meta Knight is still getting closer. Gamer puts his hand over where Meta Knight's mouth would be and fake kisses him. The audience cheers and applauds. After a second, they break away, Gamer grabs a tin of Altoids and dumps every piece in his mouth.} YUCK!
Meta Knight: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!!! {audience is cheering as he jumps up and down.} Back to you!
Joe: Thank you for that electric report, Meta Knight.
Kirby: {fake whips Joe.} You're a dirty little man!
Joe: Let's. AHH! Take it over to weather with Barney Tightpants! {audience laughs.} Barney?
C.J.: (Washed up Magician doing old dad tricks.) {has his cape spread out like a magician.} Thank you very much! Yes! It is me! The great. Christopherini! {audience laugh and cheer.} I, like the mighty Phoenix, which will be expecting rain, has risen from the ashes to perform some of the greatest illusions like you've never seen! {he does the old, pulling the finger off the hand trick.} HOW DOES HE DO IT?!?! {audience laughs. He then walks to a family in the audience. He stands in front of Lady Like.} I need volunteer from the audience. It can be anyone. {he leans in on Lady Like.} It can be ANYONE! ANYONE AT ALL! {audience laugh as Lady Like raises her hand.} Okay! This trick shall require slight of hand.. {pulls his hand back.} I got your. {looks at her face.} I got your. {looks around her. The audience is laughing.} your.. {he grabs his nose.} I GOT MY NOSE!!! {he does the "Got your nose trick" on himself. The audience is laughing and cheering. He puts his nose back.} Thank you! {to Sir Ebrum.} Sir! Do you have a gold pocket watch? {Ebrum hands him a watch.} Thank you! {he puts it in his pocket.} Moving along. {audience is still laughing and applauding. He walks over to the chairs. He takes off his cape.} For this trick. I will need total silence. This is a very dangerous trick. {he covers himself with the cape and gets on the floor. He crawls out of it and behind the chair. He crawls behind Gamer's desk and up the stairs. The audience laughs as he struggles to get thought a section in the audience . He rises and stands in front of a audience member.} HOW DOES HE DO THAT!?!? {audience laughs and applaud as C.J. takes a bows.}
Joe: hat's all for the 6 o' clock news! Tune in next time, same time, same news. {BUZZ} {the audience starts cheering. Joe, Kirby and Meta Knight return to their seats.}
{C.J. walks down to the stage and returns Ebrum his watch and shakes his and Lady Like's hands. He returns to his desk.}
C.J.: I probably shouldn't have gone though the fan girl section! I kept getting pinched and grabbed as I got across! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: You think you had it bad? Try fake kissing Meta Knight! {audience cheers.} Damn! That was not a pleasant thing to do!
Meta Knight: That's what the strip joint down the street is for. {men in the audience starts cheering.}
Gamer: Everyone except Meta Knight. 1000 points! Meta Knight will get 10,000 if we forget this whole thing!
Meta Knight: Forget what? {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, Song Styles! This is for C.J. and Meta Knight. {audience cheers as they walk down stage. C.J. sets a stool in the middle of the stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stands next to a young woman.} What's your name?
Woman: Princess Rona.
Gamer: Ahh. royalty! Let's go! {audience cheers as he escorts her down stage. He returns to his desk.} Guys, this is Rona! {she shakes C.J.' s hand.} Meta Knight knows her already so he should have no trouble making up a song for Rona in the music style that's written on this card. {reads a card.} You guys are gonna sing to her as Samba Singers! {audience cheers.} So when ever you're ready, start the song! {Samba music starts to play. Audience cheers as Meta Knight and C.J. dances around Rona.}
C.J.: {Mexican voice.} Ole'!!! Me llamo {rolls "r".} Chrrrrrrrrrrristopher! {audience cheers.}
Meta Knight: Me llamo Metaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Knight!!! {women start screaming in delight.} {rolls "r"} Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrona! {snapping fingers}{singing} Senorita Rona! A prettiful Princess! The way she rules make me crazy! She has a kind heart, dressed up like a boy! Oh Senorita, don't be lazy! { starts singing in Spanish. More woman in the audience scream and cheer. After a while he sings in English.} Rona! Rona! Rona! She may be a Queen, but she has no fun. Dresses up like Vee to get the job done!
C.J.: {singing.} You must have lot of suitors on your list. I want to be your Prince Chris! {audience laugh and applaud.} Lemme hold your hand as we travel. We'll explore the stars in space! Lemme get close to you. Put down that mace! {fakes screams in horror.} AHH! {audience laugh as he covers his face.}
Meta Knight: {singing.} Rona! Senorita Rona! Get the job dona! I love to watch you fight! But why have a prince when you have a knight?
C.J.: {singing.} You no want you boy! She ain't your fan! You'll only go for a one "knight" stand! {audience laugh and applaud as Rona acts shocked and laughs.}
Meta Knight: El stupido!
C.J.: {cusses out Meta Knight in Spanish. They then circle around the stage, ready to fight. They dance will doing so. The audience is cheering and applauding. Suddenly the music style changes to Conga!} CONGA LINE! {He helps Rona out of the chair. He leads the line and Rona is behind him. Meta Knight is behind her. They Conga around the stage.} Conga 'round the stage.ah! Rona got my ass.ah! {audience laughs.} She must know I work out! She has got a tight grip! {they get over to Kirby and Joe and they join in. The audience is cheering and applauding as they Conga around the stage.} Everybody now!
Everyone: Conga 'round the stage.ah! Conga 'round the stage.ah! Conga 'round the stage.ah!
Meta Knight: {singing} Rona! She's a princess! Everybody loves her! Please you're mine.ah! When I look at you, I say. {growls playfully. More woman scream and cheer as the song ends.} {BUZZ} {audience cheers as Rona and the performers return to their seats.}
Gamer: You know. When Meta Knight started singing, I think like 500 fan girls fainted at the same time. {audience laughs.} That was great. I wasn't aware that they spoke Spanish in Brazil. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I don't know any profanity in Portuguese!
Gamer: What did you say to Meta Knight, anyway?
C.J.: I said {bleep} {bleep} and {bleep}! {audience roars with laughter.}
Gamer: Good words to describe Meta Knight. {audience oohs.}
Meta Knight: {jokingly.} That's not what you said last night! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Gamer: So your mom told you what I said about you? {audience laughs.} Let's go on to a game called Show Stopping Number! This is for Meta Knight, Joe, and Kirby. {audience cheers as they come down stage.} The way this game works, Meta Knight and Kirby are gonna act out a scene and Joe will join them later. When I buzz you, you gotta break out in a show stopping number. What I need from the audience is a boring place to work. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Shoe store! Okay! Shoe store. Show stopping number. Take it away.
{Joe walks of stage. Meta Knight and Kirby pretend to fit shoes on customers.}
Meta Knight: This is boring.
Kirby: It's not so boring.
Meta Knight: Are you kidding? All we do all day is put shoes on strangers. What kind of life is that?
Kirby: Why do you hate this job?
Meta Knight: For one thing, I'm sick and tired of the smell of feet! {BUZZ} {Broadway music starts to play. Meta Knight marches around the stage.} {singing.} I'm sick and tired of the smell of feet! Oh! The stench! Makes me weep! This job seems to get lamer and lamer! All I want to do now, is kill Gamer! {audience laughs as the music stops.}
Kirby: Still upset about the mom thing?
Meta Knight: Yeah! {audience laughs.}
Kirby: Maybe you're right. This job is boring. We should spice it up a bit. I know! Let's put tacks in all the shoes! {audience laughs.}
Meta Knight: Are you crazy? What would the boss say?
Kirby: I say, screw the boss! {BUZZ} {music starts again. Both me and Meta Knight march around.} {singing} Man! Do I, hate the boss! Thinkin' about him, makes me cross! I wanna hit him! And punch him! And kick him! Choke him! Beat him! Break.
Meta Knight: {interrupts} Hey! Hey! Hey! {music stops and the audience laughs.} Those are rather extreme words.
Kirby: You wanna kill Gamer, I'll kill the boss!
Meta Knight: Yeah but.
Joe: {walks in.} Hey! I keep hearing really bad Broadway songs in here!
Meta Knight: {points to Kirby.} He wants to put tacks in the shoes!!!
Joe: Normally I would fire someone for their impotence. But. {audience starts to roar with laughter.}
Kirby: HEY! You can't insult me like that!
Joe: But since we're the only 3 guys running this store, you can stay, and we'll put tacks in the shoes.
Kirby: Really?
Meta Knight: Boy, boss! You really are a nice guy!
Joe: It's like I always say. "If the shoe fits, shove it up your ass!" {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter as the music starts. All 3 of them marches around.} {singing} If the shoe fits! Shove it up your ass! Get it there! Real, real fast! I think it's fair! Put a golf cleat up your dareiair! Maybe a boot! Up your glute! And pack in a life time supply of LA gears! Fit it up in that big fat rear! HEY! {audience laughs as the music ends.} {BUZZ} {audience is now cheering and applauding.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Hey! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Don't go anywhere! {laughing} {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right. The points are like FF.net's rating system! {audience laugh and cheer.} Don't mean a damn thing! You are reading us from fanfiction.net in case you couldn't tell by all the legal crap over the title! Now. {audience laughs.} Now let's go on to our next game, News Flash! This is for Joe, C.J., and Kirby. {audience cheers as Joe and C.J. walks down stage and sets out two stools. Kirby heads to the green screen.} Now Kirby is gonna stand in front of what we call a green screen. And all he can see is green But on the screens in the studio, it will show a breaking news story, but Kirby can't see it. He will have to guess what's behind him with clues that C.J. and Joe will give him. So whenever you're ready, take it away!
C.J.: {speaking to Joe.} I thought all she had was just a beard. {audience laughs.} We broke it off.
Joe: Dude. I'm seeing her, now.
C.J.: What!? {looks at the camera.} We interrupt your broadcast to give you a special bulletin.
Joe: Our star reporter, Kirby, is on the field of this late breaking story. {cut to Kirby, who's standing in front of scene of King Dedede trying to flatten Kirby with his mallet.} Kirby can you hear us? {audience is laughing and cheering at the scene.}
Kirby: I can barely hear you! This is some of the most insane action we've seen before!
C.J.: Kirby! How did this all start?
Kirby: {scene changes to Dedede getting shocked by Kracko. The audience and C.J. starts laughing.} It all started when Madame Mable offered a special "get one palm read, get the other half price" sale. {audience laughs.} It just turned into this! {scene changes to Dedede screaming at 3 ghosts. Audience is laughing harder.}
Joe: That looks like a TON of fun!
Kirby: Pardon?
Joe: That's a TON of fun!
Kirby: Maybe to you! {audience laughs as the scene changes to Dedede hitting Escargoon with a mallet.} I'm scared for my life!
C.J.: I think what everyone wants to know is this! Is there something going on with it and the appetizer? {audience laugh and applaud.}
Kirby: I'm too nervous to go near. I haven't felt this scared since I lost my appetite! {audience laughs and laughs harder when the scene changes to Dedede singing to Escargoon, whose dressed like Princess Rona.}
C.J.: I THINK THAT CONFIRMED IT!!!
Joe: {laughing.} You are very brave for being this close!
Kirby: I know! {scene changes to Dedede stuffing his face with food.}
C.J.: It looks hungry! Shouldn't you keep away from it's food?
Kirby: Food! Where? {audience laughs as he looks around.}
Joe: Um. Can it fly? I can't think of anything.
Kirby: It's flies, but after that big meal, it ain't going nowhere. {scene changes to Dedede getting hit by mallets by the Cappies. Audience laughs some more.}
C.J.: I have only two questions left. Can it be overthrown and if it can, how far will it go?
Kirby: To tell you the truth. You need probably a cheery-picker to move it. And even then, it'll go a few feet before breaking! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and applaud.}
Gamer: So Kirby, where are you?
Kirby: I was gonna say, me at a all you can eat buffet, but that ain't it. {audience laughs.} It is our benevolent King, Dedede!
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as the performers put the stools back and return to their seats.} I gotta give you guys 3,00,000 points each. That was tough!
Joe: I couldn't give away anymore clues without revealing what it was. I ran out of ideas.
C.J.: I just threw out the last two I could think off. I wanted to end that game quick! Who else in Cappytown has an ass with it's own senator? {audience laughs and cheers.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game. I love this game. Scenes from a Hat!!! {audience cheers as all 4 performers walk on stage. Joe and Kirby stand on the left side of the stage and C.J. and Meta Knight on the right. Gamer gets a Kirby style hat: The Beam Kirby Hat.}
Kirby: Hey! I was looking for that!
Gamer: Well now you know where it is. Before the show, and after I "borrowed" this, we got some suggestions from the audience of scenes they'd like to see acted out by our performers. We took the good ones and I'll pull them out one at a time. Our first one. {pulls out a paper.} "What Sports Commentators do on their day offs." {audience laughs.}
Meta Knight: {walks on stage. Faces the audience and pretends to roll down a car window.} {Latin Soccer announcer voice.} I'll take a cheeseburger. Some fries. And a {shouts.} COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. He walks off stage and walks back after a few second.} You forgot my {shouting.} COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {audience laughs harder.} {BUZZ} {he walks off and back on again.} Where the hell's my COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {audience laughs even harder and applaud.} {BUZZ} {he walks off stage.}
C.J.: {walks on stage.} Hey baby. How 'bout some love. {hockey announcer voice.} He lays her on the bed! He gets in deeper! Deeper! Deeper! HE SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORES!!! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and applaud as he walks off stage.}
Joe: {walks on stage.} You were wild tonight, baby. Let's see that again on replay! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage.}
Gamer: That's enough. {reads another paper.} "Strange phrases to learn for English as a second language." {audience laughs.}
Kirby: {walks up.} Repeat after me. "The blind drunk made dookie in his pants!" {BUZZ} {some audience members groan while others laugh hard. He walks off stage.}
Meta Knight: {walks up.} Repeat after me. "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer. He walks off.}
C.J.: {walks up.} Repeat after me. {shouting.} "YOU CUT ME OFF, {bleep} {bleep}!!! {audience roars with laughter. He walks off.}
Gamer: {laughing.} {reads another paper.} "Slogans doomed to fail." {audience laughs.}
Joe: {walks up.} Helping hands, Gynecologists! Someone up there likes you! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and applauds. He walks off.}
Gamer: {reads another.} "Men woman have a hard time going for." {audience laughs and applauds as C.J. and Joe walk up and stand there.} {BUZZ} {they walk up. Meta Knight then walks next to Gamer and points at him. Audience laughs even harder. Meta Knight returns to his spot.}
Meta Knight: Sorry.
Gamer: Tell your mom I said hello! {audience ohhs.} {reads another.} "Bad thing to say to Dedede." {audience laughs.}
{Meta Knight and Kirby walk on stage.}
Kirby: {to Meta Knight.} Wow! Your ass does have its own senator! {audience laughs. C.J. stands behind Meta Knight.}
C.J.: Hi! {wave to Kirby.} {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer as they return to their spots.}
{Joe and C.J. walk up.}
C.J.: {to Joe.} All you can eat buffet!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {reads another.} Oh! I'm gonna get you guys. "Pull the string on the Gamer plushie doll and it says." {audience laugh and cheer.}
Kirby: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} I have a big pile of money.I wish. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. He walks off.}
Meta Knight: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} Tell your mom I said hello. HAHAHAHA! {he starts punching it.} Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer as he walks off stage.}
C.J.: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} Lower. {C.J acts surprised and the audience laughs.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience cheer and applaud.}
Gamer: Stay right here! We'll find out who the winner is, right after this! {he throws he hat into the audience. Scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Kirby, Gamer, Meta Knight and C.J. are standing in that order on stage.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Tonight's winner. Knuckle Joe! {audience cheers. Joe is sitting at Gamer's desk.} Now the rest of us will do me and C.J.'s favorite game.
Gamer and C.J.: HOEDOWN!!! {audience cheers and applaud.}
Gamer: What I need from the audience is a reason you go to the hospital. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Child Birth! So when the music starts, The Child Birth Hoe-down. {the hoe-down piano music starts. Kirby is first.}
Kirby: About 9 months ago, before I was made. My mom and my dad, well, she got him laid! {audience laughs.} I came into this world with perfection. All because my daddy didn't use protection! {audience laugh and cheer. Joe and Kirby high five each other.}
Gamer: I had a friend, you see, who just became a dad. When he saw his baby, he got really sad. He started drinking, rum, wine, and gin. But you'd start drinking if your baby looked like him. {points to Meta Knight. The audience laugh and ohh. He gives him the peace sign.} You know I'm kiddin'.
Meta Knight: 17 years ago, a ugly child was born. He was insane and stupid, addicted to porn. {audience laughs.} Running like a idiot, he needs a tamer. Yep, you guess it. His name is Gamer! {audience laughs and cheer. Gamer and Meta Knight shake hands.}
C.J.: All night, Gamer and Meta Knight insulted each other. It would've been much worst if they had been brothers. Hey are ignited in a battle, with no term. Hard to imagine that they were once my sperm! {audience laughs and applaud.}
Everyone: They were once my sperm! {music ends.}
Gamer: That's all for tonight's show! FF.net! Thanks a place to put my work! This is just a small sample of my Whose Line fics. If you want more, go to fanfiction.net and look up Gamerctm in the search. If you have any suggestions for what you want to see on the show, email me at gamerctm@yahoo.com or AIM me. My screen name is Gamerctm. Tell me what you think of the show, and any suggestions you have and I may show them! Catch ya later on "Whose Line is Anyway!" {scene fades out.}
Kirby Style! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} He wishes he was Kirby. Christopher Julius! (an original character from the other Whose Line episodes.) {cut to Meta Knight.} He helps Kirby. Meta Knight! {cut to Knuckle Joe.} He fights Kirby. Knuckle Joe! And. {cut o Kirby.} He is Kirby! Kirby! {cut to Gamer, who's in the all Kirby cast audience.} And I'm your host Gamer! C'mon! Let's have some fun! {walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right. The points are like shoes to a Cappy. {audience laughs.} Doesn't mean a thing. This is kinda a special show tonight. Of course it's all Kirby but also this fic will be posted, hopefully, on 3 different web sites! {audience applauds.} In other words, you can read the same crap over again twice! {audience laugh and applaud.} For all of you reading from ivynajspyder.com, Hello! Don't forget the read the other fics! They're great! {audience applauds.} For all of reading from Rainbow Resort, Hello! Don't forget to read the other fics! {audience applauds.} And for all you reading from fanfiction.net. {shakes his head.} Don't go too far. this is the only good thing here! {audience laughs.} I'm kidding of course! Check out the other fics! They're great! {audience applauds.} Let's go to our first game of the night, Weird Newscasters! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. Knuckle Joe and Kirby grab two stools.} Now you guys are gonna make a weird news show. But you're all gonna have strange quirks or identities. Joe is the anchor and Kirby is the co-anchor. Kirby, you are a dominatrix. {audience cheers and laughs.} that Joe has hired for the night!
Kirby: How'd you know my secret power? {audience laughs.}
Gamer: This was actually inspired by an oekaki picture I saw at Rainbow Resort in the oekaki section. It was done by Moon Beam and it is a great, funny picture. And if Moon Beam's reading, PLEASE DON'T SUE!!! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: He has enough legal trouble to worry about.
Gamer: And Meta Knight, you are the sportscaster. You're a country boy looking for a girlfriend. {audience laughs.} Oh, and the card says you're a country boy looking for a girlfriend. {audience laughs as Meta Knight glares at Gamer.} What a coincidence! And finally, C.J, you are doing the weather, and you are a washed up Magician doing old dad tricks.
C.J.: Yes! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: So whenever you're ready, take it away. GO! {news music starts playing.}
Joe: Good Evening! Welcome to the 6 o' clock news! I'm your anchor, Seymour Buttz! {audience laugh and cheer.} Our top story tonight! Last night, over 500 SubWay sandwiches were stolen all at once at a local SubWay. Police have yet to find any clues. In other new, Jared is fat again. {audience laugh and applaud.} And now, my co-anchor. Ivana Tinkle. {audience laughs.} Ivana.
Kirby: (Dominatrix that Joe has hired for the night.) {looks at Joe.} {fierce commanding female voice.} Get you're eyes of me, little man! I want you to get on the floor and LICK MY BOOT! {audience laughs.}
Joe: Yes ma'am! {he gets on his knees.}
Kirby: Lick them clean! {Joe pretends to lick Kirby's shoes. The audience is laughing and cheering.} GET UP! {Joe does so.} Lean against the stool! {Joe does so. Kirby pretend to hold a whip.} Who's a bad News Anchor. {whips him.}
Joe: AH! I'm a bad new anchor! {audience is still laughing.}
Kirby: Again! {whips him again}
Joe: I'm an AHH! Bad anchor! {Kirby pretends to hold something over Joe's back.} AHH! AHH! NOT THE WAX! {audience roar with laughter.} NOT THE WAX! AHHH!!! {Kirby whips him again.} AHH!
Kirby: That'll be $500! {audience laugh and cheer.}
Joe: {in fake pain.} Lets.t.take over to sports with Meta Knight. {couldn't think of a name.}
Meta Knight: (Country boy looking for a girlfriend) {fake southern accent.} YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!! {audience cheer and applaud.} In today's news, you're ol' country boy, Billy Bob Jim Bob Jimbo gonna be lookin' for a sweet piece of country boo-taaaaaaaay! {audience laughs.} Let's try to find someone outside the family and. {looks at Gamer. The audience is starting to laugh.} Well, well, well. What's a pretty gurl doin' behind a desk like dat? {Gamer is rapidly shaking his head. He gets closer.} Lemme sara-nate you! {pretends to hold a banjo, and adjusts the strings.} Twang, twang, twang, twang, twing! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You's a purdy lady! A purdy little lady. A purdy, purdy, lady with a purdy, purdy face! {audience cheers.} Purdy little hands! Purdy big feet! Let ol' Jimbo ride you, like a big ol' greased pig! {audience laugh and applaud.} {stops singing.}Enough with the hard to get! Give us a kiss! {audience roars with laughter as Meta Knight gets closer to Gamer. Gamer backs away and shakes his head.}
Gamer: NO!!! {audience is cheering and chanting "Do it!" "Do it!"} Hell no! {Meta Knight is still getting closer. Gamer puts his hand over where Meta Knight's mouth would be and fake kisses him. The audience cheers and applauds. After a second, they break away, Gamer grabs a tin of Altoids and dumps every piece in his mouth.} YUCK!
Meta Knight: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!!! {audience is cheering as he jumps up and down.} Back to you!
Joe: Thank you for that electric report, Meta Knight.
Kirby: {fake whips Joe.} You're a dirty little man!
Joe: Let's. AHH! Take it over to weather with Barney Tightpants! {audience laughs.} Barney?
C.J.: (Washed up Magician doing old dad tricks.) {has his cape spread out like a magician.} Thank you very much! Yes! It is me! The great. Christopherini! {audience laugh and cheer.} I, like the mighty Phoenix, which will be expecting rain, has risen from the ashes to perform some of the greatest illusions like you've never seen! {he does the old, pulling the finger off the hand trick.} HOW DOES HE DO IT?!?! {audience laughs. He then walks to a family in the audience. He stands in front of Lady Like.} I need volunteer from the audience. It can be anyone. {he leans in on Lady Like.} It can be ANYONE! ANYONE AT ALL! {audience laugh as Lady Like raises her hand.} Okay! This trick shall require slight of hand.. {pulls his hand back.} I got your. {looks at her face.} I got your. {looks around her. The audience is laughing.} your.. {he grabs his nose.} I GOT MY NOSE!!! {he does the "Got your nose trick" on himself. The audience is laughing and cheering. He puts his nose back.} Thank you! {to Sir Ebrum.} Sir! Do you have a gold pocket watch? {Ebrum hands him a watch.} Thank you! {he puts it in his pocket.} Moving along. {audience is still laughing and applauding. He walks over to the chairs. He takes off his cape.} For this trick. I will need total silence. This is a very dangerous trick. {he covers himself with the cape and gets on the floor. He crawls out of it and behind the chair. He crawls behind Gamer's desk and up the stairs. The audience laughs as he struggles to get thought a section in the audience . He rises and stands in front of a audience member.} HOW DOES HE DO THAT!?!? {audience laughs and applaud as C.J. takes a bows.}
Joe: hat's all for the 6 o' clock news! Tune in next time, same time, same news. {BUZZ} {the audience starts cheering. Joe, Kirby and Meta Knight return to their seats.}
{C.J. walks down to the stage and returns Ebrum his watch and shakes his and Lady Like's hands. He returns to his desk.}
C.J.: I probably shouldn't have gone though the fan girl section! I kept getting pinched and grabbed as I got across! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: You think you had it bad? Try fake kissing Meta Knight! {audience cheers.} Damn! That was not a pleasant thing to do!
Meta Knight: That's what the strip joint down the street is for. {men in the audience starts cheering.}
Gamer: Everyone except Meta Knight. 1000 points! Meta Knight will get 10,000 if we forget this whole thing!
Meta Knight: Forget what? {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, Song Styles! This is for C.J. and Meta Knight. {audience cheers as they walk down stage. C.J. sets a stool in the middle of the stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stands next to a young woman.} What's your name?
Woman: Princess Rona.
Gamer: Ahh. royalty! Let's go! {audience cheers as he escorts her down stage. He returns to his desk.} Guys, this is Rona! {she shakes C.J.' s hand.} Meta Knight knows her already so he should have no trouble making up a song for Rona in the music style that's written on this card. {reads a card.} You guys are gonna sing to her as Samba Singers! {audience cheers.} So when ever you're ready, start the song! {Samba music starts to play. Audience cheers as Meta Knight and C.J. dances around Rona.}
C.J.: {Mexican voice.} Ole'!!! Me llamo {rolls "r".} Chrrrrrrrrrrristopher! {audience cheers.}
Meta Knight: Me llamo Metaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Knight!!! {women start screaming in delight.} {rolls "r"} Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrona! {snapping fingers}{singing} Senorita Rona! A prettiful Princess! The way she rules make me crazy! She has a kind heart, dressed up like a boy! Oh Senorita, don't be lazy! { starts singing in Spanish. More woman in the audience scream and cheer. After a while he sings in English.} Rona! Rona! Rona! She may be a Queen, but she has no fun. Dresses up like Vee to get the job done!
C.J.: {singing.} You must have lot of suitors on your list. I want to be your Prince Chris! {audience laugh and applaud.} Lemme hold your hand as we travel. We'll explore the stars in space! Lemme get close to you. Put down that mace! {fakes screams in horror.} AHH! {audience laugh as he covers his face.}
Meta Knight: {singing.} Rona! Senorita Rona! Get the job dona! I love to watch you fight! But why have a prince when you have a knight?
C.J.: {singing.} You no want you boy! She ain't your fan! You'll only go for a one "knight" stand! {audience laugh and applaud as Rona acts shocked and laughs.}
Meta Knight: El stupido!
C.J.: {cusses out Meta Knight in Spanish. They then circle around the stage, ready to fight. They dance will doing so. The audience is cheering and applauding. Suddenly the music style changes to Conga!} CONGA LINE! {He helps Rona out of the chair. He leads the line and Rona is behind him. Meta Knight is behind her. They Conga around the stage.} Conga 'round the stage.ah! Rona got my ass.ah! {audience laughs.} She must know I work out! She has got a tight grip! {they get over to Kirby and Joe and they join in. The audience is cheering and applauding as they Conga around the stage.} Everybody now!
Everyone: Conga 'round the stage.ah! Conga 'round the stage.ah! Conga 'round the stage.ah!
Meta Knight: {singing} Rona! She's a princess! Everybody loves her! Please you're mine.ah! When I look at you, I say. {growls playfully. More woman scream and cheer as the song ends.} {BUZZ} {audience cheers as Rona and the performers return to their seats.}
Gamer: You know. When Meta Knight started singing, I think like 500 fan girls fainted at the same time. {audience laughs.} That was great. I wasn't aware that they spoke Spanish in Brazil. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I don't know any profanity in Portuguese!
Gamer: What did you say to Meta Knight, anyway?
C.J.: I said {bleep} {bleep} and {bleep}! {audience roars with laughter.}
Gamer: Good words to describe Meta Knight. {audience oohs.}
Meta Knight: {jokingly.} That's not what you said last night! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Gamer: So your mom told you what I said about you? {audience laughs.} Let's go on to a game called Show Stopping Number! This is for Meta Knight, Joe, and Kirby. {audience cheers as they come down stage.} The way this game works, Meta Knight and Kirby are gonna act out a scene and Joe will join them later. When I buzz you, you gotta break out in a show stopping number. What I need from the audience is a boring place to work. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Shoe store! Okay! Shoe store. Show stopping number. Take it away.
{Joe walks of stage. Meta Knight and Kirby pretend to fit shoes on customers.}
Meta Knight: This is boring.
Kirby: It's not so boring.
Meta Knight: Are you kidding? All we do all day is put shoes on strangers. What kind of life is that?
Kirby: Why do you hate this job?
Meta Knight: For one thing, I'm sick and tired of the smell of feet! {BUZZ} {Broadway music starts to play. Meta Knight marches around the stage.} {singing.} I'm sick and tired of the smell of feet! Oh! The stench! Makes me weep! This job seems to get lamer and lamer! All I want to do now, is kill Gamer! {audience laughs as the music stops.}
Kirby: Still upset about the mom thing?
Meta Knight: Yeah! {audience laughs.}
Kirby: Maybe you're right. This job is boring. We should spice it up a bit. I know! Let's put tacks in all the shoes! {audience laughs.}
Meta Knight: Are you crazy? What would the boss say?
Kirby: I say, screw the boss! {BUZZ} {music starts again. Both me and Meta Knight march around.} {singing} Man! Do I, hate the boss! Thinkin' about him, makes me cross! I wanna hit him! And punch him! And kick him! Choke him! Beat him! Break.
Meta Knight: {interrupts} Hey! Hey! Hey! {music stops and the audience laughs.} Those are rather extreme words.
Kirby: You wanna kill Gamer, I'll kill the boss!
Meta Knight: Yeah but.
Joe: {walks in.} Hey! I keep hearing really bad Broadway songs in here!
Meta Knight: {points to Kirby.} He wants to put tacks in the shoes!!!
Joe: Normally I would fire someone for their impotence. But. {audience starts to roar with laughter.}
Kirby: HEY! You can't insult me like that!
Joe: But since we're the only 3 guys running this store, you can stay, and we'll put tacks in the shoes.
Kirby: Really?
Meta Knight: Boy, boss! You really are a nice guy!
Joe: It's like I always say. "If the shoe fits, shove it up your ass!" {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter as the music starts. All 3 of them marches around.} {singing} If the shoe fits! Shove it up your ass! Get it there! Real, real fast! I think it's fair! Put a golf cleat up your dareiair! Maybe a boot! Up your glute! And pack in a life time supply of LA gears! Fit it up in that big fat rear! HEY! {audience laughs as the music ends.} {BUZZ} {audience is now cheering and applauding.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Hey! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Don't go anywhere! {laughing} {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right. The points are like FF.net's rating system! {audience laugh and cheer.} Don't mean a damn thing! You are reading us from fanfiction.net in case you couldn't tell by all the legal crap over the title! Now. {audience laughs.} Now let's go on to our next game, News Flash! This is for Joe, C.J., and Kirby. {audience cheers as Joe and C.J. walks down stage and sets out two stools. Kirby heads to the green screen.} Now Kirby is gonna stand in front of what we call a green screen. And all he can see is green But on the screens in the studio, it will show a breaking news story, but Kirby can't see it. He will have to guess what's behind him with clues that C.J. and Joe will give him. So whenever you're ready, take it away!
C.J.: {speaking to Joe.} I thought all she had was just a beard. {audience laughs.} We broke it off.
Joe: Dude. I'm seeing her, now.
C.J.: What!? {looks at the camera.} We interrupt your broadcast to give you a special bulletin.
Joe: Our star reporter, Kirby, is on the field of this late breaking story. {cut to Kirby, who's standing in front of scene of King Dedede trying to flatten Kirby with his mallet.} Kirby can you hear us? {audience is laughing and cheering at the scene.}
Kirby: I can barely hear you! This is some of the most insane action we've seen before!
C.J.: Kirby! How did this all start?
Kirby: {scene changes to Dedede getting shocked by Kracko. The audience and C.J. starts laughing.} It all started when Madame Mable offered a special "get one palm read, get the other half price" sale. {audience laughs.} It just turned into this! {scene changes to Dedede screaming at 3 ghosts. Audience is laughing harder.}
Joe: That looks like a TON of fun!
Kirby: Pardon?
Joe: That's a TON of fun!
Kirby: Maybe to you! {audience laughs as the scene changes to Dedede hitting Escargoon with a mallet.} I'm scared for my life!
C.J.: I think what everyone wants to know is this! Is there something going on with it and the appetizer? {audience laugh and applaud.}
Kirby: I'm too nervous to go near. I haven't felt this scared since I lost my appetite! {audience laughs and laughs harder when the scene changes to Dedede singing to Escargoon, whose dressed like Princess Rona.}
C.J.: I THINK THAT CONFIRMED IT!!!
Joe: {laughing.} You are very brave for being this close!
Kirby: I know! {scene changes to Dedede stuffing his face with food.}
C.J.: It looks hungry! Shouldn't you keep away from it's food?
Kirby: Food! Where? {audience laughs as he looks around.}
Joe: Um. Can it fly? I can't think of anything.
Kirby: It's flies, but after that big meal, it ain't going nowhere. {scene changes to Dedede getting hit by mallets by the Cappies. Audience laughs some more.}
C.J.: I have only two questions left. Can it be overthrown and if it can, how far will it go?
Kirby: To tell you the truth. You need probably a cheery-picker to move it. And even then, it'll go a few feet before breaking! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and applaud.}
Gamer: So Kirby, where are you?
Kirby: I was gonna say, me at a all you can eat buffet, but that ain't it. {audience laughs.} It is our benevolent King, Dedede!
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as the performers put the stools back and return to their seats.} I gotta give you guys 3,00,000 points each. That was tough!
Joe: I couldn't give away anymore clues without revealing what it was. I ran out of ideas.
C.J.: I just threw out the last two I could think off. I wanted to end that game quick! Who else in Cappytown has an ass with it's own senator? {audience laughs and cheers.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game. I love this game. Scenes from a Hat!!! {audience cheers as all 4 performers walk on stage. Joe and Kirby stand on the left side of the stage and C.J. and Meta Knight on the right. Gamer gets a Kirby style hat: The Beam Kirby Hat.}
Kirby: Hey! I was looking for that!
Gamer: Well now you know where it is. Before the show, and after I "borrowed" this, we got some suggestions from the audience of scenes they'd like to see acted out by our performers. We took the good ones and I'll pull them out one at a time. Our first one. {pulls out a paper.} "What Sports Commentators do on their day offs." {audience laughs.}
Meta Knight: {walks on stage. Faces the audience and pretends to roll down a car window.} {Latin Soccer announcer voice.} I'll take a cheeseburger. Some fries. And a {shouts.} COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. He walks off stage and walks back after a few second.} You forgot my {shouting.} COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {audience laughs harder.} {BUZZ} {he walks off and back on again.} Where the hell's my COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {audience laughs even harder and applaud.} {BUZZ} {he walks off stage.}
C.J.: {walks on stage.} Hey baby. How 'bout some love. {hockey announcer voice.} He lays her on the bed! He gets in deeper! Deeper! Deeper! HE SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORES!!! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and applaud as he walks off stage.}
Joe: {walks on stage.} You were wild tonight, baby. Let's see that again on replay! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage.}
Gamer: That's enough. {reads another paper.} "Strange phrases to learn for English as a second language." {audience laughs.}
Kirby: {walks up.} Repeat after me. "The blind drunk made dookie in his pants!" {BUZZ} {some audience members groan while others laugh hard. He walks off stage.}
Meta Knight: {walks up.} Repeat after me. "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer. He walks off.}
C.J.: {walks up.} Repeat after me. {shouting.} "YOU CUT ME OFF, {bleep} {bleep}!!! {audience roars with laughter. He walks off.}
Gamer: {laughing.} {reads another paper.} "Slogans doomed to fail." {audience laughs.}
Joe: {walks up.} Helping hands, Gynecologists! Someone up there likes you! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and applauds. He walks off.}
Gamer: {reads another.} "Men woman have a hard time going for." {audience laughs and applauds as C.J. and Joe walk up and stand there.} {BUZZ} {they walk up. Meta Knight then walks next to Gamer and points at him. Audience laughs even harder. Meta Knight returns to his spot.}
Meta Knight: Sorry.
Gamer: Tell your mom I said hello! {audience ohhs.} {reads another.} "Bad thing to say to Dedede." {audience laughs.}
{Meta Knight and Kirby walk on stage.}
Kirby: {to Meta Knight.} Wow! Your ass does have its own senator! {audience laughs. C.J. stands behind Meta Knight.}
C.J.: Hi! {wave to Kirby.} {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer as they return to their spots.}
{Joe and C.J. walk up.}
C.J.: {to Joe.} All you can eat buffet!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {reads another.} Oh! I'm gonna get you guys. "Pull the string on the Gamer plushie doll and it says." {audience laugh and cheer.}
Kirby: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} I have a big pile of money.I wish. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. He walks off.}
Meta Knight: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} Tell your mom I said hello. HAHAHAHA! {he starts punching it.} Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer as he walks off stage.}
C.J.: {walks up and pretends to pull a string on a doll.} Lower. {C.J acts surprised and the audience laughs.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience cheer and applaud.}
Gamer: Stay right here! We'll find out who the winner is, right after this! {he throws he hat into the audience. Scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Kirby, Gamer, Meta Knight and C.J. are standing in that order on stage.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Tonight's winner. Knuckle Joe! {audience cheers. Joe is sitting at Gamer's desk.} Now the rest of us will do me and C.J.'s favorite game.
Gamer and C.J.: HOEDOWN!!! {audience cheers and applaud.}
Gamer: What I need from the audience is a reason you go to the hospital. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Child Birth! So when the music starts, The Child Birth Hoe-down. {the hoe-down piano music starts. Kirby is first.}
Kirby: About 9 months ago, before I was made. My mom and my dad, well, she got him laid! {audience laughs.} I came into this world with perfection. All because my daddy didn't use protection! {audience laugh and cheer. Joe and Kirby high five each other.}
Gamer: I had a friend, you see, who just became a dad. When he saw his baby, he got really sad. He started drinking, rum, wine, and gin. But you'd start drinking if your baby looked like him. {points to Meta Knight. The audience laugh and ohh. He gives him the peace sign.} You know I'm kiddin'.
Meta Knight: 17 years ago, a ugly child was born. He was insane and stupid, addicted to porn. {audience laughs.} Running like a idiot, he needs a tamer. Yep, you guess it. His name is Gamer! {audience laughs and cheer. Gamer and Meta Knight shake hands.}
C.J.: All night, Gamer and Meta Knight insulted each other. It would've been much worst if they had been brothers. Hey are ignited in a battle, with no term. Hard to imagine that they were once my sperm! {audience laughs and applaud.}
Everyone: They were once my sperm! {music ends.}
Gamer: That's all for tonight's show! FF.net! Thanks a place to put my work! This is just a small sample of my Whose Line fics. If you want more, go to fanfiction.net and look up Gamerctm in the search. If you have any suggestions for what you want to see on the show, email me at gamerctm@yahoo.com or AIM me. My screen name is Gamerctm. Tell me what you think of the show, and any suggestions you have and I may show them! Catch ya later on "Whose Line is Anyway!" {scene fades out.}