Title: fool's errand
Character/Pairing: Finn, Rey
A/N: The second movie was…conflicting. I wish they had turned the humour down a notch but I loved so many ideas in it. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but a total of only a few days has passed since the first movie, right? I'm guessing five.
Summary: I was a fool, Rey said. And even Finn, who knew almost nothing, knew that was wrong.
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"I was a fool," Rey said.
Her voice was so soft Finn almost missed it. She was staring out the window of the empty maintenance room and whatever attention she had been giving him earlier was clearly gone now.
"I failed," she added, almost to herself, and Finn stopped talking about casinos and the glittering gold of the rich.
"Rey?" he asked, his hand gingerly reaching out to touch hers. She may have been sitting cross-legged just ten centimeters in front of him but it felt much further than that. At his touch, she turned to look at him and he almost recoiled back.
Rey's eyes were bright with unshed tears. Finn had only seen that look on her face once, when he'd left her behind, almost choosing to disappear in a galaxy far, far away.
"I was a fool," she repeated.
He was almost afraid to speak. "How?"
"I…" Rey clenched her teeth, her hands curling into fists. "I thought I could help him."
"Who?" Finn stared at her, not understanding. She hadn't said much about her past few days. Only General Leia seemed to know what happened and she'd shaken her head every time he tried to ask.
"Ben…" Rey shook her head angrily. "No, Kylo Ren."
"Kylo—" Finn gaped at her. "Kylo Ren? You were trying to help him?"
She stared at up at him and he flushed. He hadn't realized he was standing now, half shouting. Looking back out the door, he sighed in relief when no curious onlookers appeared. Quickly, he sat back down on the floor in front of her.
"You were trying to help Kylo Ren?" he hissed softly. "The guy who killed Han Solo? The guy who was my old boss? The guy who kidnapped you? That Kylo Ren?"
"Yes," she snapped back. "I thought he could change."
"I've been fixing elevators for years because he can't get into one without destroying it." Finn stared at her in disbelief. "He's beyond help."
"I know!" Her voice quietened again and he strained to hear her words. "I know now. I just…I thought…"
Rey looked at him, defeated. Her fingers dug into her palm as she spoke, her fist getting tighter and tighter with each word. "We connected and he…he seemed so lonely. Lost. I…I thought…I thought he just needed a hand."
"And I failed." Rey's shoulders slumped and she hung her head. "I couldn't stop him. I couldn't save him. I couldn't do anything."
Finn stared at the top of her head, at the swirl of her hair. There was something he was supposed to say to this, he knew. There were words that could fix this, could fix her. Poe would have known what to say. Rose would have known what to do.
But he was neither of them and all he had were his empty hands, his silent voice. He didn't have Poe's confidence or Rose's words. All Finn had was a lifetime of rejection and five days of friendship.
And none of those five days had prepared him for this.
"Rey," he tried but his voice cracked halfway.
"It's fine." Rey seemed to collect herself, sitting up straight now. "I just need some time."
"Yeah…" he replied lamely.
"I shouldn't have bothered," she added, releasing her fists. Finn could spot the half-moons littering her skin, almost bleeding in some places. "I learned my lesson."
There was still something broken to her movements, even as she tried to smile. Something jagged. Finn knew of garbage compacters and rifles, knew the various shades of white and the exact way to march in time with everyone else.
He didn't know words or feelings or much of anything, really, but even he knew that what she said was wrong.
That was she was doing was wrong.
We fight for what we love, Rose had said. And perhaps that was what he hadn't understood before, hadn't understood at all.
There were more ways to fight than with just a gun, more ways to love beyond kindness.
And Rey had known that and Rey had done that and what she was saying now was beyond wrong.
"Don't say that," he said and her attention snapped back to him.
"Don't say what?"
"That you shouldn't have tried." Finn struggled for an explanation, for the words that would fix this. "Don't say that."
"What do you mean—" Rey froze as he hugged her, pulling her closer till their knees touched. It was a little uncomfortable, hugging while sitting, but he didn't let go.
He didn't know any words beyond the truth. "You saved me."
"You saved yourself," she corrected, not fighting him as he expected.
"You saved me," he repeated. "You reached out to me and you saved me."
"You…I didn't do that."
"You did," he insisted, talking over her rebuttal. "You saved me. If you hadn't looked at me, if you hadn't reached out for me—I would be out on some rock, mining. Or back with the storm troopers. Or dead."
Her voice wavered and he could feel it as she shook her head. "I didn't do anything."
"You reached out for me. No one fought for me before, no one wanted me, but you did." Finn held his grip on her as she trembled. "You didn't save him but you tried and you didn't give up because that's who you are."
He paused before continuing. "You looked at me like I was a hero but you know, you're the real hero."
"I…"
"So don't give up."
Almost timidly, her arms wrapped around him. Then she tightened her grip, clinging to him like sand to clothes. "You're right."
She leaned back now, loosening her grip till he could see her face. There was a hint of a smile on her lips and this was the Rey he knew. This was the Rey he had tried to protect and who had saved him countless times. "Thanks."
She leaned forward to hug him again and he relaxed to her familiar touch. It felt like a little like home.
"Anytime."