Please see our profile for background on the situation these characters find themselves in; otherwise you might be a tad confused.

Those Three Words

Levi:

We'd been with Mairead a few weeks, and Eren and I had gotten to know each other better than I normally know any of my subordinates. Having recognized that our new living arrangement made our normal routine completely unrealistic, we adjusted to a two-man army. Captain and subordinate. I had one soldier to command.

Admittedly, I did better with Eren than I had done without him. A captain with no one to lead might as well be a freelancer; a mercenary. But with Eren here, I felt I had purpose again.

I told him we didn't have to be so formal as we had in the past, since it was just the two of us (though Amedeo and Jim were there when we first arrived - that's Jim Stark from Rebel Without a Cause - but I'm not counting them because they are civilians). Gradually, we became friends in addition to being comrades. We did most things together.

When Mairead is ill, she can go into a sort of hibernation; she burrows deep within herself and allows me to be sick in her place. It's something I do willingly. None of us begrudge Mairead anything, since she's the reason we exist on this plane. In any case, when I was ill for Mairead, Eren did his best to help me. When Eren developed a wound on our plane, one that had no apparent source, I took care of him to the best of my ability (this was before Leo came, so we didn't have the benefit of his healing).

These and many other incidents brought us to a strong kinship rather like brotherhood, or what I imagine brotherhood to be like. Still, I wasn't really expecting him to treat me the same as family.

Eren: I tend to say things without thinking sometimes. A lot, in fact. Sometimes it earns me an elbow in the stomach or a smack on the head and then I realize I was being disrespectful... do I learn my lesson? I try. I really do. It just doesn't seem to stick. *sigh* Anyway...

My first night at Mairead's house I was pretty upset and confused over stuff, and I didn't know how I was going to get to sleep. The other guys felt the same way, and Levi went to sit with each of them for a while. He'd been there for two nights already, so he knew Amedeo and Jim a bit. He sat with Jim until he fell asleep; then he did the same for Amedeo. Then he did it for me, and I gather if he slept at all himself, it was only an hour or two. It was weird falling asleep beside him... like sleeping next to a lion or something. A wild one, I mean... not a pet or a circus performing lion. Because I know that he can literally kill me any time he wants, and he's even assured me that he'll do it if I go rogue Titan on him, so... yeah.

Anyway, he's right: I did start thinking of him like an older brother. One-on-one, he's really thoughtful and protective... and yes, a disciplinarian as an officer, but that's good for me. I hope to be like him someday, and I'm glad he cares enough to straighten me out when I make mistakes.

Levi: One night, Eren told me he loved me. It took me by surprise. I wasn't sure what he meant at first, and I worried that it would cause serious issues between us. But then I realized he was almost as surprised as I was at what he'd said. He seemed afraid of some sort of retaliation, and hurriedly assured me that he hadn't meant anything by it.

He was jittery the next day, but he relaxed as time wore on, and I figured we were past the incident. However, he ended up saying those three words again before long.

I realized that expressing his attachment to me in this way was probably important to Eren because, as he had informed me earlier, he had seen his mother die without ever telling her that he loved her. Naturally, he doesn't want to have this regret with anyone else that he cares for.

Eren: That's true. It definitely sits heavy on me. So I did try it again eventually, to see if he'd tolerate it again. He did... he didn't seem to like it much, but he didn't kill me, and he didn't tell me to stop, so I didn't. I started using it just about every day. Then I said it twice in one day, and he told me we needed to talk. I was like, Oh no, I blew it. I pressed my luck and now he's going to tell me how inappropriate it is and all that crap...

He started by telling me that stuff about my mom, and then he mentioned Armin and Mikasa and said he knew I was probably missing them, too... so I figured he was trying to save some face for me before telling me I couldn't say I loved him anymore. I said, "I'll stop if you want me to."

Levi: He sounded so dejected. I told him I wasn't explaining all that to make him feel better about not being allowed to say it. "I'm explaining all this so you'll understand why I'm allowing you to address me in a way that I wouldn't normally allow." He looked immeasurably relieved.

Eren: I'm sure I did... everything he said was right - I did miss my friends, and I did feel horrible about my mom, and I needed someone. I needed to be able to tell someone I loved them. I can still hardly believe he lets me... and I definitely can't believe he says it back now.

Levi: I know my purpose here is to support Mairead. We are her coping mechanism. But I wasn't quite myself before my subordinate got here, and I think that makes Eren my coping mechanism. That and my responsibility. I'm not sure how all this will effect us if and when we go back to our own world, but for now I think it's good for us both. I have someone to command, but also to care for. He trusts me, respects me and loves me. How could I not love him back?

Eren: Aww... Captain...

Levi: Shut up.

There's the story of how we came to say "I love you" to each other. Some significant events happened prior to it, and some subsequent; we're planning to tell about those eventually, but Mairead thought this was a good one to put up first. We'll try to number them or something so you can see the chronological order. Feel free to ask questions or leave comments, but please be kind. This is very personal material to us.