Title: Too Little Too Late
Pairing: Josh/OC
Disclaimer: I do not own Drake & Josh or anything affiliated, etcetera, etcetera.
Note: I had this up before as "Where Does the Good Go?" but that accidentally got deleted (long story short: computer fake freezed, frantic clicking and keyboard hitting). So before I put it back up, I looked it over and made a few changes as I saw necessary, and then I changed the title because I was listening to "Too Little Too Late" by Metric at the time and I thought that title suited the story better. So, once again, please R&R, it's my first D&J fanfic. Enjoy :)

"Noelle!" His voice was hoarse from a thousand hours of arguing. Or a thousand seconds. She wasn't sure, she couldn't tell; all she could do was sit there and let the cold needle its way into her skin, let it prick her until she was frozen like January itself. She'd freeze and freeze and freeze until she was ice, just like ice, you could see right through her from every angle but you wouldn't find anything…just clear like ice…

"Noelle!" Again, his voice louder this time, he was getting closer. She suddenly looked up, just as he crumbled beside her, a soft thud as he landed on his knees. He was cold too, he shivered and even his green eyes looked frosted and cold but his lips were warm and abrupt, warm and melting what was once eternity into sharp seconds. He pulled away, looked at her, watched her melt into a thousand useless drops of water.

"……Why did you do that?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"You mean, why'd I kiss you?" he asked, trying to smile away his hollow voice.

"No, not that." He knew what she meant, and she knew that he knew, they both knew, Drake knew, their friends knew, the school knew, January knew, everybody knew. But she was growing tired of hearing every "I know" and waiting here in the cold for an "I understand." To hear him understand, to feel him understand, like before…

--

She sank into the bed, dizzily content from everything, from feeling the whole world spinning -- every city, every house, every person, every flower, every ocean and river and summer, spring, fall, winter, even her soul swirling around in her body, except it wasn't just her body anymore, it was also his. And it wasn't just her soul, it was his also, and instead of just her body it soared between the two of them and then outside the room across the world and the universe and back to them. She smiled and he smiled, and even in the dark room she could see his warm emerald eyes, still and quiet, the only things not spinning.

Then he was curious and she heard his question in the silent room, and she closed her eyes as everything suddenly halted…but now she was whirling away from everything into the unknown. Now a new, queasy dizziness was overwhelming her, one of fear, anxiety, apprehension...then she opened her eyes, he looked at her and said, "I understand." And finally she stopped because his words caught her, and she remembered what is hers is his also because it was neither her first nor his first, but theirs.

--

She sat there, knowing he was preparing the answer in his head. He wanted to say the right thing, the truth, the details, the thoughts, but he also didn't want to hurt her, not any more at least.

"I need you to answer me," she interrupted. "I need you to explain." Steadily, it seemed, everything slowed to a stop; the wintry, January air was suspended around them, heavy with expectation. Barely noticeable, he sighed, leaned back, and rubbed his guilt away from the back of his head. He wasn't ready; he was never ready and she couldn't force him to be ready. Neither of them was ever ready.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, softly shaking his head. He was sorry for everything…for running away, for forgetting his promise to understand, for hurting her, for everything. For going back to the first girl he wasn't ready for, the girl he didn't need to go back to because she was strong, she knew and understood. He thought he let go and moved on, let their history together fade into a pale memory. And for that he was sorry...so terribly sorry. Noelle turned to him, gradually becoming aware of the dimming sky.

"I…it's cold, Noelle. It's getting dark and…it's cold. Please, let's go." He stood up, offering his hand to her.

"I'm sorry too, Josh," she finally said. Forcing the stiff cold out of her body as she stood up, she looked at his icy green eyes waiting for them to thaw into emeralds; she waited for a thousand hours, but they never did.