Startling blue eyes looked at me like never before. They communicated with me, calling my name in every possible way. Skin closing above them every now and then. Every time they focused on my eyes I felt idle. My mind was blank. I felt an overwhelming love towards the angel.

When he was gone, for weeks at a time, my soul felt empty, yearning for his presence. I would lay down on my bed, eyes closed, listening to my Kansas vinyl, thinking, wondering where he could be. My hands gripping tight the blankets below me, helping me contain my lonely tears. Eyes strongly shut. The idea of formulating a prayer at that time didn't seem so bad.

"Where are you Cas… I need you, man."

There was a particular and unique scent conquering our new home, was it emptiness? Was it uncertainty? I couldn't figure it out. My secret was in danger and it was me the one who was endangering it. Would I be strong enough to stay quiet and keep it to myself? What would Cas think of me if he knew? Drinking was hell of a solution. Sam was worried about me, but didn't seem to have enough courage to ask me what was wrong. "Oh little brother, if only you knew how much I need your wisdom…"

All at once, sleep was taking place and my eyes seemed to have trouble staying open. I could hear the whiskey dripping from the glass in my hand and slowly making its way to the floor; but couldn't react, I was too damn tired. I must have slept two hours. I had a nightmare; Hell had begun to haunt my dreams since last week. The same night Cas had left to pay heaven a visit.

All I could feel, were human emotions attacking me. Why was this happening to me? I am an angel of the lord, nothing can weaken me, especially these uncertain things humans call feelings. I found myself repeating Dean's name like an enchantment. Doubt rushing trough my vessel. When had it all begun? I was getting too close to the hunter. I started doing things without his consent. Getting rid of his devilish nightmares, healing old wounds inside his body, making his anxiety for alcohol disappear… if he knew what I felt, would he be angry with me? "Dean… I think I feel love towards you". I'm certain he would not approve it.

"Cas, I'm praying... I need to speak with you." Within a second he appeared.

"Hello, Dean. What is that you need?"

I felt the urge to get closer to him, so I did. The angel stood there, still like a statue. My right hand reached his forehead and made him close his eyes. He did not complain. He even got closer. His breath was warm and gentle. I licked my lips and glued my eyes to his pressed mouth. I felt the urge to kiss him, so i did.

What is happening? Is this a cruel dream? If it is, I do not want to wake up…

I removed my hands from his eyes and grabbed his small waist to pull him closer. He seemed to enjoy the kiss, since he opened his mouth to let my tongue peek inside him. A sudden wave of tranquility struck us both. I strange warm air current was moving around us. I took some time to realize that it was all thanks to his iridescent golden wings, which were four instead of two like I thought.

So this is what a passionate feels like? I couldn't imagine anything better. I was feeling what humans refer as happiness and lust. It was a sin, but somehow it did not matter. I was with Dean, the mighty hunter that protected me. Our kiss ended and somehow we managed to fall into an intimate hug. I felt a bizarre heat in my left shoulder. Salty teardrops were falling from Dean's green eyes. I didn't understand what was happening.

At that time, Dust In The Wind was playing and it was too much. I gave up and surrendered. I let my tears fall, but when I did, I realized that I was not feeling down, it was something else. Joy, they were tears of joy. I had the urge to separate from Cas and tell him how blissful I felt.

"Don't worry Cas, I'm utterly happy. I have you here with me, close to me."

I was expecting an answer but he chose to just look at me with a tender smile. It was more than clear that we felt the same way about each other. That was when I truly knew I was in love with my guardian angel.