Sam watched silently as Jason was led away. Her heart ached to have his arms around her one more time. She longed in that moment for the comfort only he could offer. The strength only he could give her. Her stomach clenched as he turned and looked into her eyes one last time. Then, he was gone.
Sam leaned heavily on the hard, metal desk behind her. Her vision blurred as tears quickly collected in her eyes. Her head pounded as she tried to come to grips with what just happened. Her knees felt weak. She knew this day would be hard. Impossible. But, she wasn't prepared for the loss. The ache in her chest had her itching to run. To get away from the pain in any way possible.
She could hear the buzz of the station around her and she knew she should leave. But she couldn't bring herself to move.
Some would say that she was overreacting. Five years was a long time but he'd be back. She could visit in the meantime. It wasn't that big of a deal.
She tried to tell herself it was for a good cause. It had become a mantra in her mind. Jason was going to help Michael...
But in that moment all she could feel was the loss. She tried not to think of the fact that she could lose him for real. The pain bubbled up and threatened to overwhelm her as that thought crossed her mind. She took a deep shaky breath. Prison was dangerous. One wrong step and he could end up there for life, or god forbid...dead.
She shook her head – she couldn't think of that now. He needed her to be strong.
No, what she was feeling were the countless small moments she was going to lose with him. She tried not to think of the fact that she wouldn't be waking up next to him in morning. That was probably her favorite time of day. The short moment of pure peace she felt as she drifted from sleep, feeling his strong arms around her. Her eyes finally drifting open to see him staring down at her with a slight smile on his face. For the first time she was safe. Protected. Loved.
That was gone now. She'd be waking up alone...to a cold bed. There would be no more lazy nights filled with Chinese food, beer, pool and a sunset on the balcony. She could feel the facade she'd been projecting all morning quickly cracking.
She shook her head again and brushed away the tears beginning to slip down her face. Her fingers were shaking as they came to rest on the necklace he'd clasped around her neck just the night before. His promise to return to her. She had to be strong.
But, she'd already missed so much with him over the years. It was almost unbearable to imagine losing more time. More moments. Moments they could share.
"He's doing this for Michael. He needs Jason more than I do," Sam thought again as she finally gathered the strength to push off the desk and walk to the door of the Police Station. "He's coming back...he's coming back. He has to."
She looked through the glass door to the van sitting outside. She could see Jason sitting in the back. His head propped up in his shackled hands. The van roared to life as her hand came up to rest softly on the glass. She watched as it slowly rolled down the concrete and she could feel her heart leaving with it.
She felt cold as she watched the van drift out of sight.
"He has to."