Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. It's very sad. All credit for the characters goes to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. Not me. Damn.
Distribution: Are you kidding? I'd go insane with joy. Just tell me where, so I can watch and gloat.
Spoilers: BtVS: Normal Again
Author's Notes: Not my best, I freely admit. But enjoy anyways. Send feedback with love (or not, as the case may be.)
What I remember, as I sit there on the faded green couch, is not the fighting or the love but how easy it all was. Easy to be good. Easy to do the right thing. Because we always knew, that even if we died it only led to peace. And joy. And Heaven. So easy to do the right thing when we knew so much. And now... what now? And tears creep to my eyes, cause I forgot it's not 'we' anymore, it's just me. No Willow, no Xander, no Tara, I choke and suddenly I'm crying. No Giles, no Dawnie, no Spike, no Angel, no Cordelia, no Wesley, no Faith, nobody left but me. And it's like they all died, which I never thought would happen. I always thought I would be the first one to go, and a little part of me was glad, glad that I would never have to live through that loss. But I wipe away my tears-
quick, quick, quick as I can, maybe they weren't really there-
And wonder what now. Cause I'm not aimed towards heaven now, haven't saved the world a million trillion times, haven't saved a million trillion lives. Back at zero, back at nothing. I look at the blue veins in my wrist and suddenly realize there's no strength in there. If I punched a wall, I'd break my fingers. Angel wouldn't survive the poison with this blood- oops- I want to remember what I was thinking about but it's all mixed up with Angel-pictures in my head. I can't think- can't think about anything because I know nothing, now. I'm lost here. And Mom and Dad are here. Alive. Together. But I realize... I'm not.
I want to be sane.... but does it have to hurt so much?
And if I click my heels three times.
will I go home?
Distribution: Are you kidding? I'd go insane with joy. Just tell me where, so I can watch and gloat.
Spoilers: BtVS: Normal Again
Author's Notes: Not my best, I freely admit. But enjoy anyways. Send feedback with love (or not, as the case may be.)
What I remember, as I sit there on the faded green couch, is not the fighting or the love but how easy it all was. Easy to be good. Easy to do the right thing. Because we always knew, that even if we died it only led to peace. And joy. And Heaven. So easy to do the right thing when we knew so much. And now... what now? And tears creep to my eyes, cause I forgot it's not 'we' anymore, it's just me. No Willow, no Xander, no Tara, I choke and suddenly I'm crying. No Giles, no Dawnie, no Spike, no Angel, no Cordelia, no Wesley, no Faith, nobody left but me. And it's like they all died, which I never thought would happen. I always thought I would be the first one to go, and a little part of me was glad, glad that I would never have to live through that loss. But I wipe away my tears-
quick, quick, quick as I can, maybe they weren't really there-
And wonder what now. Cause I'm not aimed towards heaven now, haven't saved the world a million trillion times, haven't saved a million trillion lives. Back at zero, back at nothing. I look at the blue veins in my wrist and suddenly realize there's no strength in there. If I punched a wall, I'd break my fingers. Angel wouldn't survive the poison with this blood- oops- I want to remember what I was thinking about but it's all mixed up with Angel-pictures in my head. I can't think- can't think about anything because I know nothing, now. I'm lost here. And Mom and Dad are here. Alive. Together. But I realize... I'm not.
I want to be sane.... but does it have to hurt so much?
And if I click my heels three times.
will I go home?