I wake up around midnight from a dream I can't remember. The hot summer air hangs over me like a shroud, and I sit listening to the stillness of the night. I exhale and take a brief inventory of my surroundings. Instinctively, I turn my head to look over at Hiyori, sleeping peacefully on the bed opposite me. I sit up, throw the covers off, and stumble down the hallway into the bathroom for a drink. I check the calendar on my phone. August 15. A sound like cicadas chirping comes from outside, but I'm certain I'm just imagining it. I'm certain I imagined all of it.
I take a cup, fill it with water from the tap and drink. The relief from the heat and the feeling of water rushing down my throat is refreshing. I still can't remember the events of my dream, but my shoulders are tense and my heart's beating rapidly. A thin layer of anxiety hangs in the back of my mind, but it's suppressed by the serenity of the night. I try to recall something from the dream, to retrace my steps mentally. I take another sip of water and move to the door. Suddenly, an image arises and I feel sick to my stomach. It's so visceral, so immediate, that I stumble to my knees. The same terror that gripped me while I was asleep finds me again. I curl into a ball, glancing wildly from side to side. Afraid to dig any further or recall the image again, I take another drink of water and slump back against the wall. My breathing slows down. After a while, I slowly get back to my feet, tiptoe down the hall and slip back into bed. The heavy sheets engulf me in a feeling of safety. The cicadas slowly lull me back to sleep. My thoughts linger on Hiyori as I drift into unconsciousness. Then the veil of sleep closes over me again and I'm dead to the world.
I wake up again at...11:45, according to my phone. Hiyori's gone. I've learned a couple of things about her on this trip. Firstly, she wakes up at the crack of dawn every morning. She'll creep silently down the hall, fix breakfast for everyone, then play with her cat or whatever 'till we all wake up. I, on the other hand, will sleep indefinitely. I am incapable of waking up on my own. I'd still be asleep if my phone hadn't buzzed with a text. I groggily slip my phone out of my pocket and check my messages.
Hibiya, I'm at the park on Yasuhiro blvd, about three blocks from our house. If you can make it in under fifteen minutes, come on over; if not, have Chi drive you down here. See you there!~H.
Secondly, she's impatient. She won't waste a single extra second on something she doesn't think deserves her time. I've learned over and over again on this trip not to keep her waiting.
I'm up and dressed in a matter of seconds. Any semblance of fatigue disappears the second I read her message. Her older sister, Chinatsu Asahina, whom Hiyori calls Chi is asleep on the couch, so I don't bother her. I sprint downstairs and out the door. As I turn back just before I slam the door shut, I see a little paper crane in Chinatsu's lap. Hiyori must have left it there. I smile a little, then take off down the sidewalk.
Within a few minutes, I'm at the park, gasping for breath. I look up and she's there, sitting on a swing, petting her cat Mei. She's absolutely captivating. I know it sounds cliche, but she really is flower-like, sitting upon the swing with the hem of her dress gently moving in the weak breeze. She seems so soft. So fragile. Suddenly, a fountain of almost paternal feelings bursts within me. I need to protect her. From what, I ask myself. Hiyori can take care of herself. If she knew I was thinking about her like a child, she'd beat the crap out of me and then take me shopping with her. I laugh a little bit at the thought. My smile disappears when a trace of the images resurfaces. I get the nagging feeling that it involves her somehow. But I force the thought out of my mind and look at her again. I get a fluttering, bubbly feeling in my throat whenever I see her. She looks so serene and happy in the summer air. I walk toward the swing set, sit down, and for long, long time, we're silent.
The heat bears down on us, and the small pond in the corner of the park only contributes to the humidity. I look at her message again. There's nothing to indicate that she knows how I feel about her, much less if she reciprocates the feeling. I want so badly to be able to tell her. Can I afford to? I don't think I have the strength of will to handle her rejecting me. Once again, I decide to bide my time. There will be another chance.
"I kind of…"
I turn at the sound of her voice. She has a troubled look on her face, and she holds Mei a little closer.
"I kind of hate summer", she murmurs. I cock an eyebrow and she gives me a blank look with a small hint of surprise, almost like she wasn't aware she said it out loud. Then she smiles and laughs a bit. I decide to change the subject and, like an idiot, I bring up the weather. "It's hot, Hibiya. What do you want from me?", she says with another little laugh. I gulp and look down at my shoes. I'm racking my brain, but I can't think of what I could say to her. I decide to bring up what she said again. "Hiyori?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you say you hate summer?"
"It burns the life from the world and it goes on forever. The heat's so repressive. I feel like I'm choking."
That shuts me up. Maybe this trip wasn't such a good idea after all. She seems to share my sentiments, because she gets up to leave and I follow close behind.
We make our way through the gate and step out onto the sidewalk. The heat from the pavement is visible in waves. Suddenly, Mei gets loose and runs out into the street. Hiyori chases after her, running out into the intersection.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see something. The streetlight. As I watch it, it changes from a soft green to a glaring red. Hiyori scoops up Mei, and opens her mouth to chastise her for running off like that. A bead of sweat slips down my forehead. Hiyori glances sidelong at me, eyes full of vitality. But the instant before the semi truck plows into her, as she casually draws in her final breath, I see something else in her eyes. Sadness. A dull sadness at a necessary evil. She's been hiding so much pain all her life, and a tenth of a second before the truck blindsides her, it leaks out through her eyes into mine. Then the truck makes contact and time resumes.
For a moment, I can't move. The air has been sucked from my lungs and I'm getting tunnel vision. Then I notice the blood. On the street, on the curb, on...on me. Blood is covering me, thick around my chest and in flecks on my face. The blood seems to cancel out all of the color in the world. Everything around me seems a harsh, bleached white. I look back at the blood again, unsure if it's even real. I take a tentative breath and notice the nauseating metallic smell. It begins to dawn on me that it's her blood. Hiyori. The second the name crosses my mind I can move agian. I stumble into the street as the world seems to pitch and warp around me. I feel nauseous and lightheaded, so I put a hand on the truck to steady myself. The metal surface burns, pulling me out of my stupor a bit. I stagger past the cabin of the truck and slowly peak around the corner to see Hiyori sprawled across the ground. The blood pools around her, thicker and darker than the blood on my clothes. Her black hair is disheveled, covering her face. She's completely still, unnaturally so. I feel acidic bile rushing up my throat, and I clasp my hand over my mouth and nose to avoid vomiting. I'm strangely aware of the heat now. My knees buckle and I collapse against the pavement.
I lift my head up to look at Hiyori. I think of her text message. I think of the rise and fall of her chest when she's asleep. I think of her soft laugh when she plays with Mei. I think of the mix of fear and elation when she met Chi for the first time in years. And I think of the way she peaceful and dignified smile she wore mere moments ago. I look at the bloody shape in front of me. It's not her. It can't be her. This thing isn't real. The image in my mind of Hiyori and the image I see before me, this lifeless red lump on the ground, do not match up. Suddenly my vision blurs and shatters, like an image through a kalleidoscope with a melting lens. I realize that these are tears welling up in my eyes. It is her. It's Hiyori. The Hiyori I know is gone forever.
I want to scream, to run, to throw myself into the street and die with her, but the traffic has stopped. I cradle her head in my arms. She's so heavy and limp. The tears are flowing freely now. I hold her body close to mine, tighter and tighter as the warmth begins to leave her body and dissipate into the summer air. My mouth is dry, and I try to form words, but I feel like I'm going to vomit again. I clench my fist and holder closer to me, trying desperately to squeeze some life back into her. I take a breath and, though I feel like I'm shouting, I'm only able to whisper. "I love you."
Then the world melts around me and I succumb to unconsciousness.
I wake up around midnight from a dream I can't remember. The hot summer air hangs over me like a shroud, and I sit listening to the stillness of the night. I exhale and take a brief inventory of my surroundings. Instinctively, I turn my head to look over at Hiyori, sleeping peacefully on the bed opposite me. I sit up, throw the covers off, and stumble down the hallway into the bathroom for a drink. I check the calendar on my phone. August 15. A sound like cicadas chirping comes from outside, but I'm certain I'm just imagining it. I'm certain I imagined all of it.