Nothing is ever fair, is it? It didn't matter who you are, how optimistic you are, it really isn't fair. No matter how much you twist it, there will always be unfairness in this world. This isn't a matter of 'the biggest slice of cake', but rather who is to live and who is to die.
Death. Death can't be avoided. It have always been there and will be there til there isn't anything left to die. Life is, for the most part, taken for granted by everyone. One second you can argue with a friend and the next regret everything as that argument held the last words you said to that person. Even if the last words you said weren't exactly bad, there will never be enough said.
Kaneki felt numb as those thoughts spun in his head, while he looked at his best friend laying in his arms. Limp. It all felt like a bad dream. It probably was too, Hide, the person who were able to make Kaneki smile even in the darkest moments.
Hide, who could take shit with one of his blinding smiles.
Hide, who seemed invincible...
Were laying in his arms, dead?
Yes, it was definetly a dream. A bad one. It felt so realistic, with the pain and everything. But...
Why didn't he wake up?
Kaneki were in denial. He knew that, but it still didn't seem to reach the depths of his mind, it only lingered at the edge of it, wobbling. Shall it show itself? Maybe it was just better not to? One second it were close to fall away into the nothingness, the other resting in the safety of his mind, but it never stayed long on any of them, quickly jumping back to the position it held a second ago.
Hide had been joking with him, with the sound in background of something dripping, when he suddenly collapsed, holding his side and having a look of pain on his face.
Kaneki should've paid attention! A big fucking wound isn't that hard to miss, especially when it's dripping in a puddle of blood. He had heard it, but his mind didn't acknowledge it. Why hadn't it? Maybe the shock of seeing Hide had caused him to become ignorant of his surroundings?
'Stupid Kaneki. It's once again all your fault, isn't it?'
No. This time it wasn't... Right? Well, scolding himself in his head wouldn't fix anything. It never did, never will. If anything, it makes things worse.
Kaneki slowly came back to reality by a the feeling of warmth. Not a comforting warmth. A fire surrounded the half-ghoul. Anteiku was on fire. Even with the blazing heat, his eyes didn't leave the boys body infront of him. His best friend.
Two tears ran down his cheeks. One of the colour of red, one of the colour of how it should be. One human tear, one ghoul tear. Two sides of the same person. He had changed, he could admit that, but not because he became a ghoul. But rather because of what he had been through, what he had to do. There were no real difference between ghouls and humans, not personality-wise anyway. Kaneki represents both sides, and tried to make peace between the two species. It failed, obviously. Humans are too close-minded. It's what has kept them alive. He wanted to blame them for this, for everything he had gone through, for everything he had to do... But...
He couldn't.
The tears strolled down his cheeks and fell down onto Hide's face.
It was weak, but Kaneki swore he saw it. Hide smiled.
"Let's go home."