Friday
September 7th
Dear Diary,
I'm not even sure why I was obsessing about it! I mean it was my first year of middle school but…still…it will get dull after a few weeks.
But then, I saw HIM.
Yes
HIM
CARLOS!! And he was as good-looking as ever!! I can NOT believe how much he has matured over these past few months. I mean…look at those abs! OK…so they're not that big and muscular, but with one of his good Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, they seem fine enough. I mean, he can't be absolutely perfect, right? But still, sigh I couldn't help swooning over him in English class. Oh did I mention he was in my class? Only in one of them though, but still luckily I hang out with him at lunch. We eat on opposite sides of the table (girls on one side, boys on the other) But guess who's sitting across from little ol' me?! No one knows yet either, no. I hope it to keep it that way for quite some time.
Saturday
September 8th
Dear Diary,
Ah, great, the weekend. No more Carlos for two days. But…like…why should I care? I'm not…obsessed with him or anything! Oh god did you see how his hair just falls right in place and…gah! What am I doing? I'm suppose to relax! Now I won't be able to sleep all weekend. I've never wanted school to come so soon.
Sunday
September 9th
Dear Diary,
Today seemed like PERFECT HEAVEN. OK so today Phoebe called me and asked if I wanted to hang out with her, Carlos, and Tim. Of course I had to immediately accept her offer. I mean, what would you do? Come on! I am sooo not obsessed!
So anyways we were at the ice cream parlor Perfect Heaven (Couldn't you just die? I mean what a name!) And we were all there, eating our ice creams. Can you believe it? He had the same ice cream as me! Heavenly Hash! I wish he looked at me more often, but just once was enough, because it seemed as I looked up at him, he looked up at me and smiled! God, I have never noticed how sexy his smile actually is. I smiled right back. I didn't snap back into action until that sticky ice cream dripped onto my arm and I had to go wash it off. Other than that, it couldn't have been a perfecter day. I went to bed with that cloud 9 feeling.
Monday
September 10th
Dear Diary,
English today was embarrassing. I'm not even kidding. I was still feeling so romantic whenever I see Carlos. Of course, this is a disaster with me. I should never have this romantic feeling, it always turns out baaad.
All I was curious about was a question. A simple question. Just as I opened my mouth to ask it I seemed to have leaned in a bit too far. I fell over INTO HIS LAP!! Of course it might be my happiest moment of the entire day IF EVERYONE WASN'T WATCHING! Of course I wouldn't mind people teasing me if they were calling out me and Carlos a couple, but Carlos seemed really upset/angry about it. I feel sad.
Tuesday
September 11th
Dear Diary,
Today was even worse. Carlos ignored me today. Still feeling depressed.
Wednesday
September 12th
Dear Diary,
Phoebe offered to take me shopping to make me feel better, but unfortunately it made me feel worse, because, well, she went with Tim. I feel so out of place.
Thursday
September 13th
Dear Diary,
HE TALKED TO ME AGAIN!! He said sorry if he wasn't talking to me, because he thought I was mad at him, and I of course said I totally wasn't! He said it wasn't my fault I tripped. I hope things are OK (I even think he enjoyed it a bit) High Hopes.
Friday
September 14th
Dear Diary,
Carlos wasn't at school today. I think I feel a depression state coming on. 2 days without him, maybe, but 3? How will I survive…
Saturday
September 15th
Dear Diary,
I figured out Carlos wasn't sick yesterday, as I thought. No, it is much worse. At least with him being sick I can bring over ice cream, flowers, maybe a movie, but noo, HE'S ON VACATION!! Nice timing, I'm going through SERIOUS depression right now! Maybe 3 days I could've survived, but a week? Get out…
Sunday
September 16th
Dear Diary,
It is sunny today. I thought that would be impossible, since Carlos is not here. sigh
Monday
September 17th
Dear Diary,
I don't know why I am even writing in you. I never have anything much to say, without Carlos anyway. I miss him so much.
Tuesday
September 18th
Dear Diary,
OH MY GOSH! It turns out I really DO have something to write about today and I bet you'll never guess what!
It turns out that that day at the ice cream parlor Tim was looking at me the whole time! I know, right? How weird is that. I was looking at Carlos so much I didn't even notice him, but he noticed me all right! Great, he must've looked intently at my ice cream spill.
Well anyway Phoebe finally told me, over much jealously, as she noticed this. She knew I was upset about Carlos though so she just told me that, but I think she's scared I'll take Tim away, but if this thing with Carlos doesn't work out…
What am I doing? I only like a guy because he was staring at me? Knock some sense into your head, DA! You're turning very shallow.
Wednesday
September 19th
Dear Diary,
Too late, I must be deeply shallow. I feel ashamed. I have been looking at Tim more. He caught me once, and winked at me and I blushed. I feel so shamed. I think my depression is coming back. It's really haunting me.
Friday
September 21st
Dear Diary,
Carlos came back! I feel better again. He was more attractive anyway. Phoebe looks a lot happier as well. Everything is coming back together.
Saturday
September 22nd
Dear Diary,
Everything is so NOT coming together! Tim called me. It turns out that Phoebe told him that she told me about that Sunday at Perfect Heaven. He asked me out. I said yes. I feel like a twit. I wasn't even thinking of Carlos, and now I feel the worse. What am I to do? And what will Phoebe think? Nooo this CAN'T be happening.
Sunday
September 23rd
Dear Diary,
OK so SOME things are getting together right now. So it turns out I was such in a blank mood after I said yes to Tim I didn't even know what he was saying after! It seems we were supposed to hang out at the Perfect Heaven again at 7:00. I completely didn't know. I can't believe I didn't even know where our date was! He called be at 8:30, asking where I had been, and I told him the honest truth, I forgot. (And to make his ego burst I said I was so happy after he asked me out that I was so stunned and didn't hear what he was saying) He bought everything. Now I didn't have to go out with him. HOORAY!
Tuesday
September 25th
I felt a lot better on Monday about how things turned out, but Tim asked me out again! How can I say no? It's his hypnotic hit on skills, darn it! That's it; I'll blame it on his hypnotic hit on skills!
Now I KNOW I'm crazy…
Wednesday
September 26th
Today is the day I am supposed to go out with Tim and I'm scared. He's calling me like every hour too just to remind me. Do you think he's suspecting anything? Oh god, how can I live with myself now?
Thursday
September 27th
Whew. Turns out it was a group thing, and I was just his partner. We went out to the Jazzy Coffee Shop, our usual hangout. Wanda, Ralphie, Keisha, and Arnold were there. Carlos wasn't there, thankfully. Then come to think of it, neither was Phoebe.
Friday
September 28th
Is it just me, or have I seen Phoebe and Carlos a lot together today? Wait, no, that's Ralphie's line. According to my research Phoebe and Carlos are flirting with each other! I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions…but…do you think this has anything to do with me going with Tim? I want Carlos though! How could Phoebe take him away from me? This means war.
Saturday
September 29th
Today I wanted to get into action! I was going to talk with Carlos today, and maybe hang out with him. But when I called, no one was home. He must be out with Ralphie or something. I tried again, and he answered but he said he was too busy with homework. I just hope he's telling the truth, I'm a little worried Phoebe is there right now. I'll try again tomorrow.
Sunday
September 30th
Disaster! Like I think this is getting bad. I called again and Mrs. Ramone said that he wasn't in and that he went to see another girl. The nerve! I bet it was Phoebe. I think I'm going to cry, I thought he was all mine. Stupid me, I should've never gone out with Tim! I can't believe it. Goodbye Carlos. Goodbye forever. My love life ends here. I wish he didn't feel happy with her. Oh I feel terrible! I thought he felt the same way about me, but I guess not. All this wasted fantasy time! I can't write anymore, I'm way too upset now. I can't believe this just happened. My life is over.
To Be Continued…