'Oh, he was a Lord of high degree.'
Silver eyes widened as he saw the dark haired lord walk past the crowd. He felt his cheeks heat up when he looked the man lord's glossy black hair back in a high ponytail, his long legs, his dark blue eyes...
'And she was a lass from the low countree.'
He looked down at himself, his worn shoes and ragged dress. He knew his white hair was ruffled and that he had smudges of dirt on his distance between them wasn't just the crowd, but their status in the world.
'But she loved his lordship so tenderly.'
He wanted that gap gone, even if it was only the physical on. He pushed his way through the crowd desperately, ignoring the yells and shoves he recieved in response. As he finally made it to the outskirts of the crowd, his heart was pounding, his lord was so close. Without a second thought, he reached his hand out and brushed his fingertips gently against the back of his lord's man stopped walking and scanned the crowd, completely overlooking him before walking away.
'Oh sorrow, sing sorrow.'
He felt his heart sink and break in the depths of his chest and he didn't even try to stop his tears as they rolled down his cheeks. He pushed his way out of the crowd and ran down the street. His legs ached, but he didn't stop until the town was far behind him and wild flowers brushed softly against his ankles.
'Now she sleeps in the valley where the wild flowers nod.'
He blinked a couple of times before dropping to his knees. He covered his face with his hands and shuddered as sobs raked over his lungs. He didn't know how long he cried, but now he was laying on his back, looking up at the night sky, the petals of the wild flowers brushing against his skin. He prayed. He prayed to the God that always turned his back on him. He prayed and he prayed until his sobbing died down and he closed his eyes before falling asleep.
'And no one knows she loved him but herself and God.'
He slept, not waking as clouds covered the stars or when rain poured down on him. His eyes stayed closed as he dreamed of his lord's arms around him and he probably wouldn't have cared even if he had been awake.
'One mourn when the sun was on the mead.'
The next moring he awoke and walked home, his feet felt heavy and his eyes felt strained. He felt cold, but by the time he reached his home, his breathing was uneven and sweat covered his body. Now he felt hot, but he was shivering and his vision blurred. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his dress and looked up at the rising sun.
'He passed by her door on a milk white steed.'
He was about to go inside to rest when he heard the sound of a horse trotting down the path in front of his home. His breath caught as he saw his lord perched proudly on the horse's back, his long, black hair down, the morning glow made him look like a God.
'She smiled and she spoke but he paid no heed.'
As his lordship came closer, he pushed away his feelings of fatigue and forced a smile onto his face. When his lord finally passed by, he bowed his head and murmured softly, "My lord." He couldn't say he didn't expect his lord's reaction, but as his lord kept going, without even a glance in his direction, he felt dread well up in the place where his heart used to be.
'Oh sorrow, sing sorrow.'
He waited for his lord to ride completely out of sight before he let his sorrow take him. He pressed a hand to his mouth to keep his sobs at bay, and bit into flesh when anger suddenly overtook him. Why couldn't his lord love him? He knew the answer to that, but why did his lord ignore him? He would take anything, an insult, a glare, anything... If only he just noticed him, not treat him as if he weren't there.
'Now she sleeps in the valley where the wild flowers nod.'
He walked away from his home, retracing his steps, making his way back to the wild flowers. He broke into a run, ignoring the ache in his muscles, the screaming pain that went through his body as he sank his teeth deeper into his hand. He didn't care that he stumbled over his own feet and ended up face down in the flowers. He unclenched his jaw and looked at his bleeding hand.
'And no one knows she loved him but herself and God.'
He didn't pray this time. He just laid on his stomach and watched the blood bubble up and stream down his fingers. And when it began to rain, he couldn't help but let a small, self-pitying smile work it's way onto his lips.
'If you be a lass from the low countree.'
He sunk his teeth into his wrist, his skin was numb from the rain, so he felt no physical pain. His eyes were blurred with tears and he winced when he pulled his teeth out, blood staining the flowers under him.
'Don't love of no Lord of high degree.'
He wished he had never seen his lord. Never seen Kanda. He knew he was going to die, why call him by title? Kanda didn't even know his name...
'They haint got a heart for sympathy.'
The girly-looking bastard couldn't even look his way... But why? Why was he so unimportant?
'Oh sorrow, sing sorrow.'
He rolled onto his back, mub and blood clinging to his dress and hair. "Why?" He couldn't hear himself speak.. His mind was too far away. His vision blurred again, though, he was unsure if it was him crying again, or if he was losing conciousness. Maybe it was both. He didn't mind, it would all be over soon anyway.
'Now she sleeps in the valley where the wild flowers nod.'
He felt bad. He was bleeding all over the flowers. He couldn't help but laugh. His whole situation was hilarious. He was killing himself, letting himself die, because he loved someone he'd never even had a conversation with. They were both guys, they were from different social status', and Kanda didn't even know he exsisted. He rolled onto his side, all of his senses coming back. He could feel the pain his wrists, the ache in his legs, but all he could do was laugh. Maybe it was pre-death insanity, but he just couldn't help it.
'And no one knows she loved but herself and God.'
Maybe he, Kanda, and everyone he knew was better off without him. Maybe he was just being stupid.. All he had left was 'maybes'... He didn't even have enough strength to keep his eyes open. He was done being angry. He wanted to see Kanda. He knew it was too late, but he didn't want to die. He'd ask God, but he was sure the 'almighty' being had already given up on him. So he'd pray again. For all the things he didn't do, all the promises he broke, all because he was stupid enough to kill himself. And he prayed for Kanda again. And he smiled before he died, because... he really did love that idiot.
AN: Okay, my first fan fiction to put online. Probably isn't great that it's like... sad and everything, but hey, why not? Reviews are appreciated and flames are laughed at, or you know since I'm all sensitive, I'll probably cry, but whatever. I'd actually really like if I got decent reviews though, not crazed gibberish.