The Art of Storytelling
Disclaimer: The story belongs to me; the characters (except their AU child) will never be.
...
"Appa?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Before you go... can you tell me a story?"
"So Mi Sun. Your age already has two digits in them and you STILL want a bedtime story? I thought tucking you into bed should already be cramping your style."
"Is there a rule that says I can't request for my appa to tell me a story, even now that I'm going on 11 years old?"
"Of course not, my pearl. I was just... surprised, that's all. I, ahem, didn't think my stories were so well received."
"As long as you stop telling me that story about the bear and the gorilla."
"But that's a classic! And it can be adapted very effortlessly into a variety of genres..."
"Not when the bear always somehow manages to defeat the gorilla in the end..."
"Tragedy. Violence."
"...with a toothpick?"
"Comedy. A twist."
"Sigh. Just sit back down and tell me that story, appa. Before I regret it. And since it's Halloween night... make it scary."
"As you wish, princess."
...
"It was a dark and stormy night..."
"Oh appa... do your stories ALWAYS have to start with that?!"
"But it WAS a dark and stormy night, pumpkin! It was a summer night in July and the typhoon was fast approaching."
"Stories don't always have to be a reflection of reality, you know. You can just... change things the way you want it. Let your imagination... fly."
"What has that Mrs Kwon been teaching you in creative writing class again?"
"Only good things, appa. Please continue."
"Harumph. Anyway, it was a dark, stormy... and a somewhat humid night. Bear- ummm, I mean, Bearing the weight on his shoulders wasn't something that Samurai Sam was used to..."
"Samurai... Sam?"
"Do you want this story or not, So Mi Sun?"
"Yes, appa."
"Okay. Samurai Sam. The best Samurai in all of Gyeonggi-Do..."
"How did the Samurai end up in Gyeo-"
"Better prospects. No haunted houses. Don't ask. Anyway, one night, Samurai Sam was alone in his hut. As the elements lashed violently outside, he closed his eyes – close your eyes, baby – and waited. He listened to the urgent rustling of the leaves, its branches thrashed around uncontrollably by the howling wind. Raindrops threw itself nonchalantly against the walls of the hut, and the sound of the heavy rainfall was melodic, but almost foreboding.
"As he breathed in deeply – breathe in with me, now – the intoxicating scent of rain filling his nostrils, he knew that this was his moment.
"Just then, the door to his hut FLUNG open and... AHHHHHH!"
"AHHHHHH!"
"AHHHHHH OH MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG?"
"OMMA WHY DID YOU COME IN NOW?" "GA EUL AH WHY DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR?"
"WHY ARE YOU ALL SCREAMING?"
"I'm trying to tell our youngest a story! And she was just going to sleep! And you just woke her up! AND YOU ALMOST MADE ME PEE IN MY PANTS!"
"I'm okay, appa... don't yell at omma..."
"You're such a scaredy-cat, husband. You've bounced all the way to the door!"
"I was... just trying to psych myself up for the story, wasn't I, pumpkin?"
"Sure you were, dear. Anyway, I only came in to tell you that your coffee has been ready for last 30 minutes, and it's getting cold!"
"It can wait, wife! I'm trying to redeem myself as a storyteller here."
"Oh, but you tell great stories, Jeong-ah! I love thatone about the bear and the goril-"
"It's okay, honey. She doesn't buy it anymore."
"Ahem. Well... then... I'll go get you one of the treasury books from the library."
"It's okay, omma. Appa was just telling me a story about Samurai Sam from Gyeonggi-do. Why don't you stay and listen too?"
"Samur- Gyeonggi- actually yes, maybe I will stay and listen to this... fascinating tale."
"Don't patronize me, woman."
"Don't give my daughter nightmares."
"My lack of an interesting story will haunt me for the rest of my life."
"You're stuck with me for eternity."
"Point taken. Now, where were we..."
...
"...so, as Samurai Sam creeped through the forest, he knew that he was not alone. He could feel the glare of a thousand eyes upon him as he took step after stealthy step towards the direction of the cave, where he knew he would find his target. But he also knew that success would not come easy; many had tried, but failed to defeat the deadliest of all opponents of the dark... dun-dun-DUN... the Undertaker."
"Jeong-ah, isn't he a wrestling character? What's he doing in a samurai story?"
"It's just for dramatic effect, Ga Eul ah..."
"...because you have to have someone scary like 'the Undertaker' hiding in a forest, waiting to jump from the shadows and do a flying clothesline on the protagonist."
"How do you know about the flying clothesline?"
"Is there a rule that says I can't watch wrestling too?"
"You sound like this one over here."
"And you wonder where she got it from. Don't roll your eyes at me, So Yi Jeong."
"So what happens next, appa? What happens next?"
"Ahem. Well, darling, our hero was not going to have it easy, that's for sure. Because the opponent wasn't going to make things easy for him."
...
"...he sliced through the vampire bats in one fell swoop, and his sword gleamed in the moonlight as the massacred bats fell at his feet, their little mouths gurgling blood as their throats let out high-pitched banshee screeches, informing their master of their fate..."
"So, the Undertaker is a bat whisperer."
"And what's wrong with that, Chu Ga Eul?"
"Oh, nothing. It's your story. I'll let you finish."
"Thank you, dearest. Baby girl, are you still with me? You can come out from under the covers now."
"B-b-but..."
"Samurai Sam is okay! He survived the vampire bat attack!"
"B-B-BUT THE BATS DIED!"
"You forget that our girl is doing her science project on the life cycle of fruit bats?"
"Sigh. Well, I can't please everyone, can I?"
...
"...as Samurai Sam inched closer, and closer to the river he had to cross to get to the Undertaker's cave, he could smell death in the air..."
"It could be his unwashed self."
"I'm going to ignore that. Ahem. He had taken a long, luxurious bath at home, so he knew that the smell did not come from him...
"But this meant only one thing. The underwater terror had been revived since their last encounter, and it was back for his blood. And then, speak of the devil, WHOOSH! Out sprung the mega-godzilla tyrannosaurus piranha from the depths of the sea, its wild, gooby eyes trained on Samurai Sam, and its long, pointy fangs caked with blood from its previous prey..."
"Mega godzilla-wha?"
"Just. Work. With. Me. But our hero was not going to be intimidated by this mutant monster, even though his right arm throbbed at the sight of the perpetrator that nearly maimed him a few moons ago. He would never forget that encounter, and he wanted MGTP to forever remember who it once dealt with."
"Abbreviations, really?"
"It gets tiring, okay? Anyway, the best is yet to come."
"Quick, appa! What happens to MGTP?"
"Well, it certainly got what it deserved. No one puts puncture marks in our hero except Bella Swan. Don't give me that look, GE."
...
"...He had defeated the terrors of the sky, sea, and even land. And as our hero finally approached the cave to meet with his worthy opponent, his heart uncontrollably started beating double time. It was the adrenaline, he told himself. He wasn't scared. How could he be scared...
"And then, he saw the Undertaker emerging from the darkened cave, eyes gleaming, long, black hair glistening in the moonlight..."
"Great, we have a metrosexual villain."
"Shhh. This is the best part. Where was I, oh yes. Hair glistening in the moonlight, dewy, porcelain skin... she looked... beautiful. Just the way he remembered her."
"SHE? SH-MFFFF-"
"Shush, wife. Listen to me. The Undertaker stepped out of the cave to meet with Samurai Sam. 'So,' she said, a smirk tugging at her face, 'You have conquered all the terrors of the night.'
"'So I have,' replied Samurai Sam evenly, trying not to sound over-confident. 'You have not made it easy for me, m'lady.'
"The Undertaker's smirk softened, and she looked away coyly. 'I cannot make it easy for anyone who wishes to conquer my heart.'"
"Mfffff?"
"Samurai Sam took a big step to bridge any distance between the two star-crossed beings. 'You don't have to live like this, Kayla. You don't have to live in your misery, in this darkness. I want to take you away from all this, to where you and I can be happy.'"
"Mffff."
"Oh, sorry, dear. Kayla looked up at the man she had loved for many lifetimes, and said..."
"Today, and forever more, my heart is yours. Will you take me away?"
"If you would let me, I would be more than happy to do so."
"I would be happier if you would show me your sincerity, Samurai."
"And how would you-mmmmph!"
"Ahem. And with that kiss, Kayla and Sam lived happily ever after, the end."
"Whew. What a spectacularly hot ending. A tad abrupt, though."
"What a story, So Yi Jeong! How could you tell such a... lewd story to our almost-11 year old-"
"Ouch! Don't hit me! You do know that she fell asleep as Samurai Sam talked the forest gumiho out from strangling him with her nine tails?"
"Then... how would it have ended otherwise?"
"Oh, it never ends, actually. Love never really ends, does it, Ga Eul-yang?"
"Sunbae..."
"Come, let's go make another cup of coffee. And we can go brainstorm more stories for our creative writing daughter's listening pleasure."
"As long as you protect me from those vampire bats and piranhas."
"I can't guarantee protecting you from the gumiho, though..."
"I think it's my job to protect you, mister."
"I couldn't think of a better person to fill it."