Hotel California

~Utena Style~

Disclaimer:

Utena is proper property of BePaPas, and Hotel California is proper property of the Eagles. I don't own them and never will so shut yer trap before I make you.

Ooookk, with that said and done. On with the show!

*author hits a giant dong and vibrates off into the distance*

_____________________________________________________________________

Hotel California: Utena Style 1

AJ Angelique

Akio Otohori drove his cherry red convertable down a dark desert highway, the top down so the cool wind could blow through his hair. The chairman was on a small vacation in the great state of California where he has bassically been relaxing, living it up and bedding anything female that he could get his hands on *heavy sigh*. The warm smell of colitas rose up in the air...

"What are colitas anyway?" Akio asked.

Uh...*author stops typing to look up the word*...AGH! I CAN'T FIND IT! *rips hair out* Fine! It's a flower, we'll just say it's a sweet smelling stinkin' flower. *Akio wrinkles up nose* JUST DRIVE! *Not wanting to upset the author, Akio does as he is told and continues to drive*

Ok, the warm smell of colitas rose up through the air and made him smile as he enjoyed their sweet scent. Then, up ahead in the distance, he saw a shimmering light. He head grew heavy and his sight grew dim.

"I guess it's time for me to stop for the night," Akio said and tossed the empty bottle of Tequilla into the back seat as he drove for the light. He was silently hopeing that it was a hotel of some sorts. Yes, that sexy red car of his had broken down on him before and he spent a week alone in the woods with nothing but Chesse Puffs to survive on...

"Chesse Puffs?" Akio asked. *author glares at Akio and he keeps his mouth shut*

...and he was hoping not to repeat that again, especially in the desert with all those cyotes, rattle snacks and...and...

"Jack rabbits?" Akio asked with a shudder. Yes! That's it!

"Oh my," Akio said, feigning fear. I see someone's an Wizard of Oz fan. Akio just gave off this big grin as he pulled his car to a stop in front of the source of the light, which turned out to be the Eternal Castle.

'Odd,' Akio thought as he looked up at the castle with a raised eyebrow. He was highly confussed because he thought he turned the hologram mahcine off back home...and was surprised that it was projecting at such a distance.

"Welcome, weary traveler," said a female voice. Akio looked towards an open doorway to see a female figure dressed in a black cloak and a hood that rested on her head. Even though the shadow of the hood hid the top half of her face, he could easily see that she had a slim youthful face with Arabian looking skin. One of the many bells began to ring and Akio smiled to himself.

'This could be heaven...' Akio thought as she left the doorway and approached his car. When she was close enough, Akio's face fell when he saw Anthy's face looking back at him. She looked down at him with a ghost of a smile on her face and this haunting look in her eyes that only added to the errieness that the shadows were protraying on her face.

'Then again, this could be hell,' Akio thought as a shiver ran up his spine.

"Come, you must be tired from your journey. A room has been made ready and dinner will be served soon," Anthy said.

"You were expecting me?" Akio asked, surprised and confussed.

"We're allways expecting someone, we are a hotel after all," Anthy said and pointed to a sign that hung off the castle. Akio looked to see that it read: "Hotel California"

'Why does that name sound so familar?' Akio thought.

"Come, follow me," Anthy said and stepped away from the car. Akio nodded and reached for his keys in the ignition only to find that they were gone.

"Odd, my keys are gone," Akio said.

"I see..." Anthy said as she pulled out a 1ft and 3in thick black taper candle and a single match, "A car with no keys turns to rust because it has no place tom go," she said as she lit the match with her finger nails and then lit the candle. Akio looked at Anthy with this concerned look on his face, mildly convinced that this wasn't a safe place to stay...but he couldn't survive the desert on foot, and he couldn't carry that trunk load of Chessy Puffs by himself...

"Come, follow me," Anthy said and walked away from the car.

"Hey, wait up!" Akio said and hopped out of the car. As Anthy led Akio into the castle, his car rapidly turned to dust which was blown away by a sharp wind...yet in the end, the only thing left of the car was all those bags of Chessy Puffs. But Akio didn't noticed this as Anthy led him into the castle and through the corridor to his room. As they walked, Akio could hear voices in the distance singing...

"Welcome to the Hotel California

Such a lovely place

Such a lovely face

Plenty of room at the Hotel California

Any time of year, you can find it here."

"What we those voices?" Akio asked.

"That's just our way of welcoming guest. Here's your room, number 1313," Anthy said and unlocked the door. Akio followed her inside to find himself in a 30ft by 40ft room with adjoining bathroom. The stone floor had been covered with a baise carpet and a couple bright paintings were hung on the walls. The room was sparsely furnished with a queen sized bed on the far right of the room, a 5ft wide dresser with six drawers and a over sized mirror sat across from the bed and on the dresser with a plasma screen TV with digital cable. The sleep area was divded off by a small living room/dinning area, which had a square coffee table, fold up couch and a kitchen unit that held a sink, micro wave and mini fridge. On the far side of the room was a bay window that looked out in a lush garden of roses. Akio looked over the room before he checked out the moderate sized bathroom dressed in white with silver accents.

"Dinner will be brough to you and I trust you will be comfortable," Anthy said from behind Akio. He turned around to ask her something only to find that she was gone and the door had been left open. Akio frowned at this and then noticed that he was holding something. He looked down and was surprised to find that he was holding the key to him room.

'Odd, when did she...?' he began to ask but was cut short when he heard a knock on the door. Akio looked up and was surprised to see Nanami standing there, dressed in a yellow and black French maid's outfit, with a steel cart that held his dinner.

"Are you Mister Otohori?" she asked.

"Yes, but..." he started.

"I have brought you your dinner," Nanami said and wheeled in the cart. Once inside the room, she closed the door behind herself with a swift kick of her foot, which made him raise his eyebrow.

"Vola," Nanami said and lifted the silver cover that sat on the cart to reveal a Thanksgiving style meal, complete with a bottle of champaign. Akio looked it over with hungry eyes and began to drool a little.

"Mister Otohori, you're drooling," Nanami said. He blushed a bit and wiped the saliva off with a hankercheif from his back pocket. Once done with that, he frowned.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Maybe. If you don't mind my asking, where is the desert?" Akio asked, thinking of the cranberry sauce. Nanami smiled, moved her hand to the back of her dress, undid a tie and the dress was down on the ground to reveal her naked form.

"Right here," she said seductivly.

'This has to be heaven,' Akio thought and turned his attention to his "meal"...

TBC