Do I like Eric Cartman? Are you serious? NO ONE likes Cartman. He makes sure of that.
I mean… he's racist, sexist, egotistical, and above everything else, everything he does is for himself. There isn't one thing I can think of that he has ever done that wasn't part of some ploy to gain something…
Do I think he likes me? Why would he? I mean he likes anyone about as much as anyone likes him. And, come on, even his friends don't like him!
No… No, nothing. Not one thing has ever given off the idea that he might…
If anything, he hates me the most, ok? He's always on my case about something, and always calls me a hippie or something just as idiotic. Jesus, don't even get me started on what he says about my newspaper articles.
Well… I mean, yeah he's on the paper's team, but he groans about it non-stop.
I don't know why he's here. Maybe he gets a kick out of being a whiney bitch. Maybe he likes pissing everyone around him off. Especially m-…
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Does that make me feel special?
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Why are you asking me? Don't you need to be DOING something? Go, get out of here, I still need to edit that crappy article you made about the cafeteria food and how much it sucks.