An Equal Love
Authors Note/ Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Once Upon A Time, that credit is due to the writers/creators.
Summary: She worried about loving them both.
One Shot
Emma ran her hands over her baby bump, watching in the mirror as her dress smoothed out around the shape of her body. Despite being almost full term she hadn't gotten used to the look. Still unable to feel pride when wearing outfits that showed off the bump.
She wasn't ashamed but things were different this time around. Not that she had been ashamed of Henry either but with his pregnancy she had hid it beneath baggy clothes.
Looking in the mirror she saw the book on the bed behind her, Henry's baby album. Regina had given it to her so that she was able to witness his childhood through photographs. The photos of him a baby sleeping, a toddler covered in pancake batter, a pre-schooler learning to ride without training wheels, his first day of school. Moments she had missed because she chose to give him up for adoption.
Guilt.
It was just one of the emotions that had consumed her body this pregnancy. She had given Henry up so that he was able to have the life that he deserved not the live that she could provide and when she had handed him over to the nurse she had made herself a promise, that never again would she fall pregnant. To her it wasn't fair to have one child that she gave away and another that she kept.
"Emma"
Hearing her mothers voice from the opposite side of the door pulled her from her thoughts but Emma couldn't speak knowing that if she did then her voice would give her away. For almost nine months she had hid these thoughts, her insecurities and doubts never allowing anyone to know and she wasn't going to allow them to now.
"Emma, your guests are arriving" Her mother knocked on the door once more before opening it and entering the room.
Emma jumped at the sudden intrusion, noticing her mothers slightly panicked expression.
"I'm fine"
"You didn't answer, I got worried. Didn't you hear me calling?"
"Uh, yeah" Emma mumbled her hands dropping from her baby bump, turning around to face her mother. "I didn't…who's here?"
Snow frowned, her daughter aura was off. "Emma, is everything alright?"
"I'm fine" it was like an automatic response programed into her, the same on she had been giving through her entire pregnancy despite knowing it wasn't the case. she felt as thought it was her battle to fight because it was her with the problem. "Really mom, I'm fine"
Snow sat on the edge of the bed watching her adult daughter as she finished getting ready. For eight and a half months she had been waiting for her daughter to talk to her, because as her mother that was what she was for, a confident to speak to. No judgement ever. "Emma, you can talk to me about whatever is bothering you, you know that"
"Nothing is…" Emma watched as her mothers eyes darted towards the baby bump. "Mom"
"I've noticed Emma, and I know you've tried incredibly hard to fight it but I know because I felt the same way. All the fears that you have running through your head I had when I was pregnant with your brother" Her expression softened when she noticed Henry's baby book on the bed. "What you did for Henry, giving him up was a courageous act that allowed him to have the life that you couldn't give him. Don't feel guilty for it Emma, you shouldn't feel guilty because you are in his life now and he is happy, loved and safe. That is what's important"
Emma sighed, sitting down at her vanity, facing her mom. "It's not just Henry…"
"You wonder if you can love another child as much as you love Henry. The answer is yes"
Snow stood up and walked over to her daughter, touching her cheek gently. "There is enough love to go around. It might be a different kind but it will be no more or no less, it will be equal. Oh, Emma, you shouldn't have to bear this alone, you could have come to be"
Emma blushed slightly, despite having her world turned upside down when Henry came to her door she still wasn't used to having parents that actually cared for her. "They were my insecurities, my doubts"
Snow shook her head. "You are independent and stubborn but it's okay to have moments. If you spoke to me, came to me then I would have told you what an incredible mother you are going to be, the mother you already are to Henry"
"What if I fail? I have you now but I never had a mother growing up what if I'm not ready to do this from the beginning"
"No one is ever ready to be a parent Emma, lord knows I wasn't ready with Neal but you just seem to know. It will come naturally and I'll be here to help as will your father, and of course you have Hook. You're not alone Emma, you'll never be alone again"
Emma stood up, grabbing her mother in a tight hug, trying not to squish her stomach but needing this moment. "I love you" She didn't say those words often to her parents, not even regularly to Hook but she said them a lot to Henry. "I needed to hear that"
"That's what I am for. I love you Emma" Snow kissed her daughters cheek. "Come on, your baby shower awaits"
"I'll be out in a moment, I just need a minute alone"
Snow nodded in understanding. "Take your time" She walked out of Emma's room closing the door behind her.
Emma found herself standing in front of the mirror again, her hands on her baby bump. She was bigger this time, with Henry she had been tiny. Taking a moment she smooth her dress around herself allowing her to really study her growing figure. "I'm sorry, little bean but for now on I promise things are going to be better. The love I have for your brother will not take away from you, and I promise that I will do right by you. This is going to be a learning curve for us both but we'll make it through. Especially with the family we have supporting us" She smiled a bit at her reflection. It was going to be okay, when the little bean arrived love would flow through her veins, she could feel it.
Thoughts?
Much Love. x