A/N: So I was doing a post-finals clean up of my word documents, and I found this thing I wrote last year. I read through it and said to myself, meh, why not post it? So here it is, in all its sleep-deprived glory. Enjoy!
"Is the toaster supposed to be moving like that?"
"You're still awake?"
"Not if that pen is doing what I think it's doing."
"It's just sitting there."
"No it isn't! It's clearly moving of its own accord."
"Okay, that's it, time for bed."
"Wait!"
"What?"
"…Now the fridge is moving."
"That's great. Now stand up so I can get you to bed."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not even tired!"
"When I came in, you didn't even notice me because you were staring at the butter knife."
"Well, you would stare too, if you saw it doing cartwheels."
"Butter knives don't have hands or legs."
"Flips, then."
"The butter knife isn't doing flips."
"Aw, now you've made the butter-knife sad, stifling its creativity like that."
"I'm sure the butter knife will get over it. It's you I'm more worried about, if you don't sleep soon."
"I'll be fine. I've gone for much longer periods without sleep. The trick is…is to…"
"…"
"…"
"Yes?"
"Sorry, were you saying something?"
"Sigh. Come on, let's get you to a bed."
"But…but… Hey, do the air vents always wiggle like that?"
"No, and if you don't start moving towards sleep soon there's a very real possibility that I'll end up knocking you out."
"Eek! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
"Would you stop being such a drama queen and just come to bed already?"
"Depends. Is the butter actually singing the queen of the night aria?"
"The butter isn't even on the counter."
"Oh. All right then, let's go."
"You really can be an idiot sometimes, you know?"
"But I'm your idiot."
"Naturally."
A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Want to print it out so you can cut it up and then burn it? Let me know! Review!