Title: Falling Against My Will

Summary: Why can't Kate Beckett just have Richard Castle as a partner and nothing else, no thoughts of him outside of work and definitely not the thoughts she had been having? Why couldn't they just be friends and hands off at that? She tried, no one knew how hard she tried and how much she resisted her feelings for him but he is after all Richard Castle.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Castle or characters, I do own my characters as they pop up.

A/N: I'm a new Castle fan, really I mean what took me so long? I only watched it because it came on and the remote was across the room, I couldn't get up at the moment because of my back pain treatments I had to lie still for 45 minutes so I watched it. OMG what I have been missing. This is my re-entry to fanfiction, I had over 30 stories and I took them down due to so many weird reviews. I might mention shows I've watched or clips I've watched but this story is not based on anything, I'm a creative writing major so this is practice for me. It's not based on how the show evolved, it's my imagination. I'll start with Montgomery but Gates will come in.

Chapter One: Creating Some Distance

Castle was sitting beside Becket's desk reading on something, she had no clue what and at the moment she wasn't going to question him on it. Suddenly the guys Esposito and Ryan appeared at her desk so she looked up in question and Ryan spoke. "Lanie has something for us so do you want to take Castle and go or should we go?"

She narrowed her eyes a bit and then spoke. "Why don't you guys take Castle and go? I have some paperwork to do and some things to check on right here."

Esposito nodded. "Sure hey bro, want to join us?"

She heard Castle speak but didn't look up, she just couldn't look at his face. "Sure guys, thanks I'd love to go I guess it's better than sitting here getting the silent treatment." When she looked up she saw him looking at her from the elevator and she could see the hurt on his face.

Beckett had been sitting there trying to concentrate for a few minutes when an officer appeared at her desk. "Detective Beckett, there is a young girl here to see you?"

She nodded. "Please show her in."

Suddenly Castle's daughter Alexis appeared around the corner. "Detective Beckett, I'm not bothering you am I?"

She smiled, there was a soft spot in her heart for Castle's daughter. "No not at all, your dad is with the guys down at the morgue I can call him."

She shook her head. "I'm not here to see daddy and it would be best if he didn't know I'm here, I need to talk to you Detective."

She smiled. "Let's go get something to drink just in case they come back, I'll text Lanie and let her know what to tell the guys. Something going on with your dad?"

Alexis turned around and looked straight at Beckett. "I thought you could tell me, that's what I came to talk to you about among other things."

They got to the diner and once seated they had ordered a huge order of fries and their drinks. Beckett looked across the table. "Okay what can I help you with?"

"Well first off Detective,"

Right then Beckett put her hand up. "Please Alexis call me Kate, I'm your dad's friend and you calling me by my title is just too formal."

Alexis nodded but didn't smile. "Are you my dad's friend?"

"Yes we are friends and work partners, why?"

"Then can you tell me what's going on with my dad? How has he been at the precinct?"

Beckett shrugged her shoulders. "He's been quiet the past couple of days maybe three but other than that he hasn't said anything. He hasn't said much about this case like he usually does but I just thought he was working on research for his next book."

Alexis shook her head. "He finished the book about a week ago, he's not due to start on another book for about 3 months and if you saw the research he had on books then you would understand why I'm asking."

The server brought the fries and drinks and then Beckett looked over at Alexis. "What are you saying exactly?"

"My dad isn't doing research for a book, so now I asked Grams and she had no clue as if she would. What is going on with my dad Kate? Did something happen to him?"

Beckett was still trying to take in what the teenager told her, he wasn't doing research then why was he there every day? "Alexis did something happen at home?"

"Yes kind of my dad told Gina to call him during office hours only and they would talk business only in the office with Paula present, I heard that conversation because he didn't know I was downstairs. Then I heard him talking to Grams yesterday morning and he asked her if she felt there was one true love for everyone and she said yes she wanted to believe that. He nodded put his head down and walked into his study."

Beckett shook her head. "Maybe he has a girlfriend you don't know about and he's having problems with her."

Alexis ate a few fries and then shook her head again. "No, when he's not with you or at a meeting about the book then he's at home with me. Could you find out for me? I'm worried about him, I mean he's not sleeping well and he's just so down."

Beckett nodded. "I'll see what I can do but he hasn't been talking to me much lately, I'll ask the guys and see if he said anything to them."

Alexis smiled at that. "Thank you so much Kate, I just want dad to smile again."

Beckett walked back in the 12th precinct after watching the young girl get in the car she called from her dad's car service, she saw the guys at Ryan's desk talking. Esposito spoke up. "So Beckett, where did you run off too?"

"I had a meeting guys, just a quick meeting."

Ryan looked at Castle and then back to Beckett. "Running off without your partner or even leaving a note to your partner, that's cold Beckett."

She was getting ready to say something when Castle stood up. "Thanks guys I'll see you later just call me if you want to talk or anything." He got close to her desk but spoke without stopping. "Later Detective."

She smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He stopped and turned around. "I'm not coming in tomorrow, I have some things to do plus I need to be finishing the book so it can get out soon. If you want to bounce anything off of me about this case just call me, but I'm just hanging around here we both know that. If not before I'll let you know about the book launch."

She nodded and turned to walk away but then stopped. "Hey Castle, before you leave I need to talk to you about something." She caught up to him close to the elevator and smiled. "Want to get a cup of coffee real quick?"

He nodded and when they exited the elevator he headed straight into the diner before she could speak up, they had all become well known there she just hoped the same server didn't wait on them. As they sat at the booth in the back no such luck, she looked up and here she came. "Wow twice in less than an hour Detective, first Castle's daughter and now Castle?"

Beckett noticed his shocked expression but she ordered for both of them. "We'll just have coffee." Then she looked over at Castle. "Unless you're hungry? I just ate."

The server smiled. "It was just fries Detective don't act like you ate a five course meal."

Castle shook his head. "No just coffee for me, thanks." When she walked away he started with what she didn't want to talk about. "So you went behind my back to talk to my daughter about me?"

"Actually Castle she came to me when you guys when to autopsy, I was told someone was there to see me and when I looked up it was Alexis. She wanted to talk to me about you, I guess she figured being your partner I would have some insights into your mood lately."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her anything Castle, I don't know anything and that's what's bothering me I mean did I do something to upset you? We are friends and partners, but right now something is wrong with you and I don't know what."

He nodded. "It's nothing, I'll talk to Alexis when I get home."

"Don't be upset with her for coming to me, she was worried about you and thought if anyone would know it would be your partner."

He looked over at her and she noticed he was really not happy. "I'm not your partner Detective, I'm some writer doing research for a book and I'm not a cop. We're friends but not close enough that my daughter should think you would know what's going on with me, we are office hours only."

She nodded. "Well if we aren't partners and you have all the research you need then why are you still coming in?"

"Who told you I had all the research I need?"

"Alexis told me you had enough research, you finished your book and that you no longer needed research for your Nikki books."

He drank down the last of his coffee and went to stand. "Then maybe that's not why I was coming in but I guess it doesn't matter anymore, I won't make that mistake again. She's right, I just finished my last book but I'm diving straight into another one while I have inspiration to write." He stood up and put money on the table to pay for the coffees. "Now you know my research is done I can't use it as an excuse to hang around can I? I won't be bothering you again Detective, I'll have Paula contact you about the book launch and you of course will be welcome to attend." Then he walked off.

Beckett walked back in the precinct and straight to the guys. "So what's up with Castle? He's down at home, pissed at me and isn't coming back so I'm guessing he said something to you two?"

Ryan looked up at Beckett and nodded. "Yes in confidence and we can't tell you but you're wrong he's not pissed at you but that's all I'm saying." Suddenly his phone rang and he smiled. "Well look at that, it's Castle." He walked off to talk.

She looked at the other Detective sitting there. "Okay Espo, we're not in high school what's going on?"

"He told you Beckett, we were told in confidence so you're just going to have to get Castle to tell you himself."

She nodded. "Okay well I guess we'll just have to focus on this case and let Castle come back when he gets his big boy pants on." She walked off, enough of them making her feel like the bad person here. She hadn't done anything but be super nice to Castle in trying to make him feel like part of the squad and then he has almost turned everyone against her.

Castle walked in his front door and saw his mother and daughter in the kitchen, he walked over and looked at his daughter. "You went to Beckett?"

She nodded. "I guess Kate told you?"

"No we went to the diner for coffee to talk and the server mentioned she had been in there with my daughter, she acted like she didn't want to go in there so I guess she was trying to keep it from me that you went there. Why go talk to Beckett?"

Alexis shrugged her shoulders. "You've been upset lately, almost depressed and I was worried so when Grams didn't know what was going on I figured the best person to talk to was your best friend and partner."

He picked up the cup of coffee his mother sat on the counter and started for his office. "She is not my best friend or partner, she's research and nothing more. I'm going to write."

His mother cut in. "I thought you finished your book."

"Next book mother, I think it's time some of Nikki's true colors come out and everyone stop seeing her for the perfect persona that I've made her out to be." He walked in his study and closed the door.

Martha sighed and hugged her granddaughter close. "That my dear is a broken heart, not my wife cheated on me or Gina and I didn't work out yet again. This time his heart is crushed and I would say Kate doesn't even know she did it to him."

Alexis wiped the tears off of her face and headed for the steps. "I feel so helpless, I don't want to lose my dad."

At the precinct Beckett was sitting on her desk in front of the murder board but no insights came, she couldn't get her mind off of Castle and what was going on. She thought they were getting closer, they had been laughing more and going out for lunch more often. Then about 3 days ago he just shut down on her and wouldn't say much. She saw the guys approaching and quickly wiped the tears off of her face. "So got anything guys?"

Ryan handed her the jacket off of her chair and her purse. "Go home Beckett, your mind isn't on this case. We'll pick up in the morning and maybe things will look up."

"When you talked to Castle on the phone did he say he was coming back?"

"No he just needed a favor and I can't tell you about that either but it's nothing bad I promise. Just get some sleep and we'll get on this in the morning." She nodded and walked out.

The guys watched her walk away and Espo shook his head. "Someone needs to knock her in the head and kick his ass, if they only knew."

Around midnight Beckett still hadn't fallen asleep, she decided to text Castle and maybe he would talk to her that way.

Kate Beckett: I miss you already Castle, I'm not getting any insight into this case and my mind isn't really where it needs to be. Come in tomorrow and help me?"

Castle: I'm just a distraction that you don't need hanging around, good luck on your case.

Kate Beckett: What's going on with us Castle?

Castle: There is no us, goodbye Kate.

She put her phone down as the tears came, he said no us and she thought for sure things had been changing. But his goodbye seemed to be very final.

TBC

Review… now like I said in my author's note, I'm new to Castle so this will be just a bit of what I picked up and the rest I'm making up. This is practice for my class actually but I got hooked on Castle immediately.