A/N:Hi!,I don't know what to say( i know i have much to say). Welcome to my newest endeavor and i hope you like it.
Disclaimer: All things Twilight Belong To SM, Everything Else... All Mine.
"The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return" Nat King Cole
I stare through the dark unblinkingly at the clock counting down the seconds as i listen for the sound of a door closing. Every night i wait it out until the stroke of midnight when there will be footsteps on the stairs and the closing of a door and i'm free. except tonight its longer than usual,all i hear is silence so silent it would be eerie(a sign of something wrong) but i'm used it. i used to revel in the silence take comfort and welcome it a good thing from the shouting and the lies but now its a tiresome reminder of the situation i was in... reminds me that i'm alone.
Alone in the sense of being surrounded and yet the loneliness grabs you anyway, there are times where i feel like i'm living a dream and when i woke to face the harsh reality it caused another break in my fragile heart.
The last seconds tick by quickly and as the time changes the footsteps follow,i wait for them to pass my door and move on following the nightly pattern but they break the chain to stop outside my door. i turn to face the door surprised,a mix of emotions course through me. i wait with bated breath all the while having this urge to get up and open the door but i fight these feelings for my hearts sake knowing i couldn't handle whats on the other side of the door. minutes go by as i wait for the next step but it doesn't come, the footsteps retreat and the door closes. for a second i feel hurt and disappointed but quickly turn off my emotions this is what i was afraid of.. hoping only for it to be crushed.
I leave the room quickly taking the stairs two at a time passing pictures on the wall of people i don't recognize anymore. it hurts to see those happier times knowing you can never go back. i finish my descent down the stairs walking to the kitchen thinking i'll make me something special on this special day i would normally ignore this day but for right now i want to celebrate something good in this otherwise unhappy life.
For a second time tonight i'm left with surprise and more emotions breaking out, on the kitchen table there is a wild hyacinth lying next to a piece of cake and an envelope. i suppress the tears threatening to fall at the fact that he acknowledge today. with trembling fingers i open the envelope to find a stack of papers and a small card that reads ; Happy Birthday. i save the stack of papers for last but i'm not prepared for what i see. i choke back a sob as i read the title,hes gifting me with divorce papers and i'm in shock i don't know whether to cry or laugh. i can remember a time where i wanted this so badly, i fought for this to no avail and finally accepted that i may never get out but now i'm not sure i want this anymore.
When the tears surface again this time i don't stop them, i fully break down and cry openly. i cry for the past,present, and the future. i cry for the beginning and the end.
I cry for the love that would have been.