Scot-Free

Slam dunk me into the trash and take this pointless, terrible attempt at humor.

Disclaimer: AU verse. I guess it's a spinoff of Underground but only because I use Aleena's name once—except it's nothing like Underground. It's alternate, okay.

Fact: Before notes, this is exactly 1,337 words. You see how this could be problematic.

Knuckles isn't sure what he's expecting when he marches up to the bright red hovercar, tugging at his uniform so it's straight and tidy (he's been a Guardian for three weeks now, and if there's one thing he's learned in that time, it's that the police force is nothing if not impeccable), and it certainly isn't Sonic's blue mug, leaning on the open window, already prepared with that suave smile that's plastered all over the newspapers.

Knuckles could punch him.

"Hello, sir," he grits out, crunching his boots into the ground in lieu of the punch, because he just can't do that anymore—at least, while he's in uniform, "are you aware of how fast you were going?"

Sonic, whose smile cracked a bit when he spotted Knuckles and realized that his smooth operating skills would get him nowhere, gives him a long, calculated look. Knuckles gets a sense that he's being studied—judged on how much he can be pushed until he breaks. "Um..." Sonic says eventually, probably after spotting Knuckles's fists tightening at his sides, "fast?"

Knuckles has to let out a harsh breath or else risk blowing a gasket. "A number, sir."

"More than ninety?" Sonic hedges, craning his neck to check his speedometer, as if it isn't idling along with the car.

"Higher," Knuckles presses, crossing his arms.

"A hundred seventy," a voice calls from inside the vehicle—and Knuckles knows that voice. High and piping, that's none other than—

"Tails!" Sonic wails, ducking back into the car so he can smack his friend on the arm. Knuckles bends at the waist so he can see, and spots the fox seated in the passenger seat, tablet resting on his knees, totally ignoring Sonic as he lightly slaps him for his transgressions.

"Hey, Knuckles," the younger mobian offers once he notices the echidna peering at them, "sorry about this."

"Ahem," Knuckles coughs, trying to gain Sonic's attention. It's useless though, as the hedgehog is too busy trying to get retribution, wailing about loyalty and honor. "Sir!" Knuckles calls, banging on the car once for attention (he's not supposed to do that, but he doubts Sonic will report him).

The hedgehog jumps and whirls back around. "What?! Jeeze, watch the car! You could dent it!"

"You were going 170 in a forty-five. I think there are bigger things to worry about."

Sonic actually sends him a sheepish glance. "There was no one else on the road though so it's not that bad!"

Knuckles feels his eye give a twitch. "You have a child in the car."

"Who? Tails?! No! No! He built this car, you see, so—"

"Leave me out of this!" calls the fox, and Knuckles can just see him shove Sonic's shoulder. "Don't bring me into your lawbreaking!"

"So he's perfectly safe. This car has like... top of the line safety, right Tails?"

"I'm not answering that!"

"Okay, so he's not answering that, but trust me, Knuckles—"

"Guardian Knuckles," the police officer grumbles, to no avail.

"—this thing is like... super safe. Safe to the infinite power!"

"That's not a quantifiable number." Tails matches Knuckles's grumble with one of his own, and Knuckles can't help but feel like they're on the same side.

"And besides!" Sonic is still going, unable to stop himself once he gets running. It's his fatal flaw, swear to Chaos. "Look at this thing!" He smashes a hand on the window sill for emphasis. "How can I not go eighty-five?!"

"A hundred and seventy," Knuckles corrects, gritting his teeth.

"Technicality! Are we looking at the same car?! This baby was meant to fly!"

Sonic pauses then, finally looking up at Knuckles, and tilts his head to the side, as if he can't read his expression. "Hey Knux—"

"Guardian. Knuckles."

"Whatever. Why is it that it's always you? You're always the one to pull me over..."

"Oh, I don't know—" This is it. Knuckles can feel his temper slipping. There's no turning back now. "Maybe it's because I'm the only one who will dare to pull over one of the Queen's children?"

And, here lies the crux of the issue. Sonic's face crumples, as if he had forgotten that little tidbit. It's always like this with him—remind him of his place as the crown prince and he gets so damn depressed, like he can't stand the idea. (He can't, but Knuckles isn't supposed to know that.) Still, Sonic has a reputation of being a hell raiser, and Knuckles has it on good authority (aka, Sonic himself) that he's trying to get his mother to disown him or take the title from him or something. Why he doesn't just talk to her is a mystery that Knuckles isn't sure even Sonic knows the answer to, so here they are, dancing this dance for the... What...?

"This is sixth time, Sonic," he answers himself out loud, hoping that it'll make Sonic see how absurd this whole situation is.

"I know! Just give me a ticket already!"

That's what he wants, believe it or not. A ticket, especially one this extreme, will let his mother know that he's being irresponsible. Knuckles has half a mind to do it, but he also cherishes his job. Not that the queen would fire him, but the captain probably would if it got out that he gave the crown prince a citation for something as mundane as speeding.

Even if it was at least 125 over the limit.

"I'll give you a warning," Knuckles decides, and adds "this time," just to sound serious. They both know that he'll never do it. They've been friends for too long, and Sonic knows how much he's been training for this job.

Sonic slumps, and it's the first time Knuckles has ever seen anyone upset at getting off scot-free. "Yeah, okay. You said that last time, y'know?"

It's a last ditch effort and Knuckles actually sees Tails roll his eyes over Sonic's shoulder. Even the tag-along is tired of these antics. "Just— Don't do it again. You're getting a warning, and it's this: don't speed like that unless you're on your own feet, and, for Chaos sake, talk to your mother. I don't want you plowing into someone in some crazed attempt to get her to notice you."

"I do not—!"

"Tails," Knuckles leans into the window, pushing Sonic aside so he can point an accusatory finger at him, "stop enabling."

"Aye aye." He even gives the echidna a mock salute.

"Now get going." Knuckles pulls out of the car, straightening his uniform once again. "Let's not have this talk again."

"Yeah, yeah, Guardian—" At least he finally remembered. "—Knux." Damnit. "I'll slow down, I guess."

And, of course, this isn't the last time, but Knuckles still mutters "Good. Carry on." and steps away from the car so Sonic can pull away. The boosters whirr as the car begins to hover a bit higher, and then he's off, even making sure to turn on his blinker when he has to merge back in with traffic.

"I'll punch him tomorrow," Knuckles decides, remembering his training session with the royal guard. Sonic will undoubtedly be there, as he loves to watch Knuckles beat people up. ("I've known Knuckles forever!" he crows to the awed recruits almost every time. And he has, which is a problem because he never stops pestering him about his job.

"Why a Guardian? You could be so much more—"

Knuckles has never given him a straight answer, because it's not something he can put into words. There's something about protecting things that can't protect themselves, like the civilians of the kingdom, that fills him with purpose more than anything else. Plus, this way, he can watch out for Sonic without a real excuse.)

So, when Sonic marches into the training arena, Knuckles wastes no time smashing his fist right into his face, because... Well.

"Don't ever call me Knux."

It's a suitable enough reason for the both of them.

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