Author's Note: Since I have a bad case of writers block, I'm just going to make some one-shots to help me with ideas. Also, this couple is sorta out of my comfort zone, but I assure you it won't be poopy shit. Also, I've been having some mentally breakdowns, so just bare with me. Hopefully, I'll be over this in about a week, so if this is sorta depressing, I'm sorry. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Song: Being Your Walls by Armor for Sleep (The best emo band, ALIVE).
Better Luck Next Time, Prince Charming
One-Shot
"If you love someone, let them go.
If they return to you, it was meant to be.
If they don't, it was never yours to begin with."
-Anonymous
Today is the twenty sixth time Duncan broke her heart. Today is the twenty sixth time she cried over him. Today is the twenty sixth time I'm comforting her. I want her to so badly dump him. He's not good for her. I want her to so badly to realize this love I have for her. I pull her closer as she cried into my shirt for the twenty sixth time since she's been with Duncan. She clenched my shirt tighter and pulled away. I felt my heart sink when she did like half of me went away when she did. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. I wish I could take away her pain. I hate to see her so torn. She looked like this void hit her, so stoic.
Pull your arms up around your knees,
And hide out inside your room,
Pretend you can't feel at all.
I just looked at her as she cried into her knees. Watching her like this made me want to cry myself. I ran shaky hand into my hair and felt my hand get caught in some knots. All of her crying has got me a little distraught for the last ten hours. After all these years of me wanting her to realize that I'm the one that will never hurt her. All those days where I would kiss her just to get her mind of of him. Where I would desperately try to be her distraction. And every single time, she went back to him. And every single time, I was left as her distraction and nothing more. I often wanted to believe that she would find something more out of those heated kisses that we shared. Those nights where we got caught up in the moment. One heavyheart desperately trying to show their undying love. One heavyheart trying to mend the pain of heartache. I know now that she will never feel the same way I feel for her. It took me awhile to realize this. But, I know how she feels now...
Just realize I know how you feel now.
I scooted closer to her and lifted her head up. She looked up at me with red, puffy eyes. Tears staining her tanned face. I took my other hand and cupped her cheek, her tears wetting my hand. I slowly grazed her cheek with my thumb and wiped away her tears. Something I have done so many times. I looked in the depths of eyes and soon her lips were on top of mine. That one kiss led to her hands in my hair, my hands on her waist, me being her distraction, her mending a broken heart.
Even though I know she won't have any feelings for me I'm willing to give her my all. My time, my attention, my devotion, and my love. I know somewhere down in the pit of me that she will never feel the same way for me as I do her. But, I'm willing to be her distraction, I'm willing to let her use me for whatever selfish needs she has. If all I am is just distraction, then I can't complain that she can't feel something for me. Do yopu really care for distractions? Do you really care for meaningless objects to release tenstion? I'm not really sure, but I'm willing to find out.
If all I am is just distraction for you then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me.
Eventhough I'm nothing to her, just a mere object to use, to toy with, I want her to take all she can find in me. At all costs. Because deep down, I want to feel that somewhere she has some sort of feelings for me.
Take all you can find in me.
She bought her head up from her knees and looked up at me with red puffy eyes and instantly, my heart throbbed for her; as it always had. So like twenty six times before, I lifted her chin up and crashed my lips on hers. Like twenty six times before, she responded just as eagerly. Like twenty six times before, she wrapped her arms around my neck and weaved her hands in my hair. Like twenty six times before, I stood up and she wrapped her legs around my waist while I led her to her bed. And twenty six times, had we went at it for the same thirty minutes and ended the same way; her sleep in my arms and me desperately wishing we stayed like this forever. However, this time would be no different. By dawn, I would get up and leave and acted as if none of this ever happened. Because by noon that day, Duncan would come over, apologize, and it will happen all over again.
Can you think back to when things worked? When dreams were the days you lived? When you never cried alone?
So I looked down at her sleeping figure for the twenty sixth time, and whispered the same words in her ear. Knowing that she will never hear them and never respond.
Can you remember the days when things were perfect, like a dream? When you and Duncan weren't fighting, where you never had a reason to cry?" I just sat there in the deafening silence and stroked her hair. "Just realize that I know how you feel now and I accept you don't have any feelings for me. But some where deep within me, I'm willing to make you like me so bad, I'm willing to give you my all."
So with that, like twenty six times before, I got up kissed her forehead and left. And twenty six times before, I was nothing but a distraction willing to give her my everything. Just in hopes, that she might have some sort of feelings towards me.
However, for the first time, I left a sticky note on her nightstand. For the first time, my heart doesn't feel as heavy. For the first time, I've accepted our routine. And for the first time, she would read that note, those three words.
Until next time. -Trent
Okay. So like I said, this is just a one-shot. You might see a lot coming from me. I'm having a serious case of writers block. It's depressing.
Anyways, if you didn't understand it, Courtney, who is sad and fighting with Duncan finds relief from her pain in Trent (a "distraction") but in the end her heart still belongs to Duncan. Trent realizes how courtney feels ( Just realize that I know how you feel now) and accepts that Courtney will never have any real feelings for him. Even though Trent knows this, he wants Courtney to like him so bad that he is willing to give her everything he has (his heart, his time, etc). So yeah.
July twenty third, twenty ten.
