Author's note: This is my first fanfiction ever, so please be gentle (if so minded) with your reviews. I greatly appreciate any constructive feedback. I am going to university in a different country soon so I dunno how fast I can update. Also, this chapter is unbeta-ed, so please feel free to point out any semantic errors if you see them. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you find it enjoyable!.
Clara half ran- half walked towards the entrance of Marina's mansion, internally cringing at pitter patter of the rainstorm. Unfortunately, the noise only grew louder as she approached the door.
Under normal circumstances, Clara would have simply relaxed and enjoyed the occasion. Rain, to her, was the ultimate cleanser; 'like a raging mother', she thought – and Clara most certainly did not lack in experience with those – it spared nothing in its wrath but always left everything fresher and glowing in its wake.
At last reaching the door, Clara gingerly pried it open before quietly letting out a groan. This time, the rain felt less like a refreshing gift and more like a heavy iron curtain that seemed hell bent on further wrecking her marriage. "Still", Clara mused, if she could get to her car, she probably still had a chance at making it home. In all honesty, Clara could not care less about the house – Cadu was surely sensible enough to handle closing a few windows, but…..Ivan. She could not leave Ivan, her precious child, who was perhaps the only constant joy in her life. And with his face etched in her mind, she stepped out and began to search for her car.
After a few minutes of looking, it hit her. Today, of all days, had been the one where she opted to take a taxi. Smacking herself on the forehead lightly, Clara mulled over her remaining options. She quickly decided that since no taxi driver could possibly be foolish enough to come to Santa Teresa in this storm, her only choice would be to walk.
A few seconds later, she set out, her head bowed in a futile attempt to guard herself from the wind and escalating rainfall. Every cell of her body yearned to turn around and run back to Marina and escape for at least one night, the accusatory stares that Cadu would inevitably have waiting for her. Unfortunately, her sense of pride bound her to at least, for the moment, try, in all meanings of the word.
She barely made it down the driveway before she was suddenly pushed back by a gust of wind shortly followed by a deafening clap of thunder. Clara rose but was again pushed back onto her bottom. Exhausted from the day's work and her motivation further flagged by the weather, Clara reluctantly turned back. She hoped fervently that Marina had not yet left the shower and noticed her absence.
"Well. Luck is really not on my side today," Clara decided. She had walked in to the sight of Marina sprawled lifelessly on her bed. The dark haired woman's tresses formed a dark halo for her head which was decidedly focused on the ceiling.
"Marina?" Clara ventured softly.
"Clara! There you are, I was – you're so wet," Marina said as she twisted to get up, her tone shifting from joy to vague suspicion. "Go dry off and change in the washroom before you die of the cold!" She had gotten to her feet by then, offering the nightgown she had originally left for Clara with an outstretched hand, and pushed Clara gently in the direction of the room.
Clara obediently took the proffered item and slipped into the bathroom, marveling as always, at its insane luxury. She quickly toweled off and changed before heading back inside to find Marina pouring out some tea. Marina's face was somber as she silently handed the cup to Clara and stood up. She paced a bit before she spoke.
"Clara, you know that it's absolutely fine if you don't want to stay with….or near me tonight, for whatever reason. It's fine. I didn't mean to pressure you or insinuate anything that you might not be comfortable with. "
"No- , " Clara tried to interrupt but Marina waved her off.
"Just hear me out. The rain may stop soon and I might be able to drop you off then with my car. But please, don't endanger yourself!"
Clara unconsciously shrank at the pain clearly audible in her boss's voice. She hadn't realized how negatively her actions could be perceived as. Her leaving, or at least attempt to, was another rejection; another reminder to Marina that she was still the second woman; the second priority. She had been so wrapped up in her struggles: her now daily bickering with Cadu, Helena's problems, Cadu's heart problems and everything that she had forgotten that Marina, in all her charm, sensuality and constant smile for Clara was human as well.
Clara moved towards the place where her Marina was standing and spoke urgently. "No Marina, it's not that at all. I wanted, I want nothing more than to stay with you. I was just…worried." She locked eyes with Marina, willing, begging her to see the truth in her words. Clara took Marina by the hand and pulled her to the bed so they were both sitting near the edge
Marina appeared slightly mollified, but the suspicious look had returned. "Clarinha, is something else going on? I know you're a woman who proudly belongs to the domesticated set," she smiled faintly at her use of the word, "but this seems rather excessive for a few windows."
Clara looked away and bit her lips as she sought some excuse that she could play off of, but before she could speak, Marina had taken her hand and was slowly rubbing small circles into her palm with her index finger. The sensation was incredibly soothing. Marina had this uncanny ability to almost – because Clara didn't have a better word – to know her. It would be overwhelming if Clara didn't know that it was nearly the same from her end.
Feeling somewhat calmer, Clara slowly moved her eyes up and said it. "Cadu threatened to take Ivan away if I went, if I lived, " she gestured vaguely to the surroundings with her free hand, "what I felt."
Marina gasped and immediately moved to embrace Clara. The two held each other tightly for a little while before Marina broke the embrace and moved back.
"Ohh, Clarinha, I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to cause you this pain at all. I hope you know this by now, but I don't mind suffering," her eyes, too, for a moment drifted away, " as long as you are happy at the end of the day," she finished.
Clara looked up and met Marina's now slightly red eyes again. They were beautiful, like everything else about her. Marina's perfection was composed of a series of contrasts: dashingly pale skin paired with strong and dark, yet undeniably fine features. Likewise, Marina was inwardly the same – guided by passion and whims perhaps, but nothing but a true follower of whatever they entailed.
A sudden surge of affection overcame Clara in this moment. No one else had expressed such care for her, her happiness, her being alone, rather than as a piece in a bigger puzzle. Everyone else was concerned with how she fit in their vision of a perfect reality, rather than what was right for her. And so compelled, Clara moved in and captured Marina's lips in a soft kiss. The latter was clearly caught off guard – she had not been expecting this at this particular moment in time.
Clara could feel Marina smiling into the kiss before she pushed back, gently repositioning Clara for a better angle. It was all Clara had imagined and more. Marina's lips were so much softer than any other that she had tasted. Their proximity enabled Clara to get a whiff of Marina's scent – it was the same one that Marina had teased her with, long ago – vaguely floral and always entrancing.
The duo broke apart for a second, both breathing faster. The nearly constant quiet tension between them felt hugely amplified in this moment. Suddenly feeling bold, Clara asked Marina mischievously - " that scent, just for me? It's doesn't smell like your usual one."
She was rewarded with a soft smirk. "Yes – my whole body smells like it," Marina said in a low murmur as she moved in closer. "But rather than taking my word for it, why don't you test it personally?" She closed the gap and they kissed again. This time, it was deeper and more thorough as the lovers tentatively explored each other's mouths.
The pair continued in this vein for a few minutes until Marina rocked forward and gently but firmly pinned Clara beneath her on the bed. She traced the curve of Clara's cheek with her nose and began to casually drop delicate kisses on Clara's neck, forcing the other woman to sharply intake air. Marina's one hand slowly stroked the insides of Clara's wrists, setting the skin there on fire, while the other hand began to move its way up her lover's side.
Clara shook as a result of Marina's efforts and clung desperately to the latter's back. The photographer's soft, curvy body felt so different compared to Cadu's, which was far more unyielding- full of hard edges and planes. The thought of Cadu instantly jolted Clara out of the moment. She wanted this, oh, how she wanted this, but she wanted to give Cadu a chance and end their relationship on fair terms. He was a decent man, if as Clara was slowing beginning to realize – not right for her.
Marina, had, of course, noticed the change in Clara's demeanor and had stopped. She looked at Clara with questioning eyes. Clara looked up and spoke in the clearest way she knew, willing, begging Marina to understand the depth of the feelings behind her words. "Marina, I want this, but I want to be fair with Cadu, especially with his heart. He'll be angry anyway and accuse me of things and I don't want to lie to him…"
Marina exhaled sharply and abruptly rolled off Clara and onto her side, squeezing her eyes shut. Her muscles were tight and rigid, and for a long second, Clara feared that she had hurt her yet again. Thankfully, after a moment, Marina moved back to take Clara's face in her hand. The lines of her face did not appear altogether happy, but her eyes were tender as she looked at Clara.
"I understand. I always have admired your openness and honesty, and I love it even now. I've waited, we've waited so long for this – we can hold off for a while longer," Marina said.
Relieved by Marina's response, Clara grabbed the other woman for a hug before murmuring a soft thank you into her hair. Marina placed one last kiss on Clara's forehead before, with some struggle, pulling the covers out from underneath them and on top of them. Neither nodded off immediately, but after some time they both were consumed by the day's many exhaustions and slowly drifted into unconsciousness together.