AN: It's been years, but, I somehow find myself here once again! Just thought I'd leave this here- just a bit of Marauder Era warmth... Enjoy!
Quidditch Practice
It wasn't often Lily went to Quiddtich practice.
It wasn't that she found it boring- Quidditch interested her as much as any bit of magic- but she much preferred a nice quiet evening in the Gryffindor common room next to the crackling fire or a walk around the grounds rather than sitting on the stands in the middle of bitterly bitter October, watching a bunch of people ram their broomsticks into each other.
But lo and behold, here she was on a damp October afternoon, nose as red as a reindeer, cheeks pale from the cold, all because Marlene McKinnon wanted to ogle at Gideon Prewett, Gryffindor beater, without looking like a friendless, desperate sob.
Lily half thought of leaving- Marlene had moved to the very front, Lily was certainly not- she had homework, a good book and a nice cup of tea waiting for her in her dorm. And she quite liked the feeling of unfrozen fingers.
"Well, well, well, look who we have here! James'll have a field day, I tell you."
Lily groaned.
Slipping into the empty seat beside her was Sirius Black.
"And who said that seat isn't taken, Black?" she snapped.
"Of course it's not taken," he replied flippantly, "I'm sitting on it."
Even in the cold, Sirius managed to look so aristocratically haughty- from his windswept dark hair, from his tilted chin, from the concealed arrogance he hid behind a flirtatious smirk. But he was vile and cruel and Lily would rather hex him than give him the lovesick benefit of a doubt that every single girl in the bloody school seemed to do.
"All right there, Evans?" asked Sirius when he looked at her. "Your nose is as red as your hair."
Lily picked herself up. Sirius' eyes widened, as if he couldn't believe the fact that someone on this earth just didn't want to sit with him.
"Hope I'm not interrupting the party," a second voice interjected.
Though he wasn't exactly an unwelcome guest, he wasn't welcome all the same. Remus Lupin was nice when he wasn't with his friends. Before Lily could get a word in- or try to swoop around Remus- he shoved a hot mug of tea in her hands. A satellite of three had been twirling around his head like a solar system. He levitated one over to Sirius and, with a gentle yet finessed display of magic, landed one in his own pale fingers.
"Thanks for the tea, Remus," started Lily, "but I was just leaving-"
"Nonsense," he smiled, and, with a strength she didn't know he had in those skinny arms of his, he managed to sit her back down. "If Sirius bothers you, I'll just bite him."
Black gave a barking laugh- a crackle of joke ran between the two that Lily didn't quite get. Sure they grew up in the same house, but Lily hadn't really spent as little time with them as she would have cared. Prior to 6th year, all her time had been exclusively with Sev and, probably, a few girls from her dormitory. As for the rowdy, rambunctious and troublesome four that seemed to wreck havoc within themselves and on everyone around them? She steered well clear.
Now, sandwiched between the two- the haughty pureblood and a scarred and battered mystery- Lily felt uncomfortable.
"How're you finding the year so far?" asked Remus.
"Not too bad," murmured Lily. "You're not in Potions this year, aren't you?"
"A fortune turn of events," said Remus wryly. "Both Professor Slughorn and I are very, very relieved."
"Come off it, you weren't that bad," said Sirius. "Sure you almost blew up the dungeons twice and created an abyss that lead to the gates of hell when you tipped your cauldron, but I would've given you a T for Trying."
"Or an F for 'Flip Off'."
"Where's Pettigrew?" she interjected, just noticing the smaller boy's absence. "Aren't you four usually joined at the hip?"
"I'd say we'd be joined onto James' hip," said Sirius seriously. "Don't tell him I said this, but he's got massive hips. Out of all of us, he'd have enough space for us to latch onto. Good, healthy birthing hips."
"He'd make a good woman, wouldn't he?" replied Remus.
"Of yeah, definitely," agreed Sirius. "That's why you should yank him while he's hot, Evans. You won't get anyone as motherly as James."
"He actually tucks us in and all at night, when he thinks we're asleep," mused Remus.
"Bless him. Kind soul, James, really."
"He can appear a bit… outlandish-"
"Irritating-"
"Egotistical-"
"Obnoxious-"
"But he's actually really decent once you get to know him," concluded Remus.
Lily deadpanned. "Is all this just a ruse to get me to go out with your mate?"
Both of them began to profusely deny it- of course not! No way! Bloody hell, Evans, do you think everything's a goddamn scheme- before they steered the conversation far beyond her reach. There was a lot of laughter. There was a lot of energy. She didn't think she ever felt this much energy before. Almost exciting. Almost warm. Almost loving.
In a way, she felt it would've been nice to get to know them. Though they were mischief and cheek and trouble, they were kind. Something the world sorely lacked these days.
"- can't go to Hogsmeade this weekend anyway," Sirius was saying by the time Lily tuned back in. "Which is a bit of a relief in enough itself. I can't be bloody nice to a girl without them hinting at a bleeding date to Madame Puddifoots. Makes me wonder if I should start hexing them as- I mean-" he looked wearily at Lily and gave a barking laugh, "All hypothetical of course."
Rumor was that Sirius Black had run away from home this summer. It made her wonder, as he pointed at Potter- who was now doing backflips of course- what was his life really like? Then there were the whispers Sev had given her about Lupin- who was now pointing at Potter doing front flips of course- and it made her wonder how a boy with such a warm voice could carry such a curse.
Kind people, she thought. Strong people. Kind.
A bit mischevious. A bit cheeky. A bit annoying and sometime, unbearable. But, kind.
"Any plans yourself for the Hogsmeade weekend, Lily?" asked Remus.
"Hm? Oh… probably the Three Broomsticks with Marlene. Just for a wander. Yourself?"
"I've got a date," said Remus.
Lily blinked. She didn't think he dated.
Not that he couldn't- it wasn't any of her business of course- but she could only wonder what kind of girl would interest Remus Lupin.
"Oh. That's… really nice. With who?"
"The shelf of double fudge milk chocolate at Honeydukes," said Sirius languidly. "Moony just keeps coming back. Ready for more."
Remus leaned over and jabbed his friend at the rib. Sirius almost spilt his tea. Lily was caught in the middle. Neither boy looked apologetic.
"You're wrong this time, anyway" said Remus pretentiously. "There's a new honey and white chocolate slab that feels like a disastrous sugar rush, but I'm more than ready."
"I think James is free this weekend, isn't he, Remus?" said Sirius smoothly.
"Oh, yeah," nodded Remus. "With you in detention, me on my date and Peter doing merlin-knows-what, James is actually very free."
"And friendless," added Sirius.
"With nobody to spend time with."
"Alone."
Both of them looked at her expectantly. Lily couldn't keep her face any flatter.
"You're trying to get me to go out with Potter, aren't you?"
The went into another bout of no, don't be ridiculous, what gave you that idea, if you want to go out with James that has nothing to do with us, no way, nu-huh- but, hypothetically, would you consider it?
"No," she snapped.
Both boys reeled back. She felt like a mother telling off two naughty children. Lily grimaced. Perhaps that had been a bit too forceful. She cleared her throat and settled herself back into her seat- not realizing she had leapt up to emphasize her point- and kept her eyes on the pitch. Of course, they landed on Potter- who was swiftly swerving between his teammates- and she quietly wondered if, perhaps, a date would be worth going to.
Lily twisted her jaw. No. No getting touchy-feely. No getting gullible. This was Potter. Crude, reckless, selfish, arrogant Potter: who didn't care about anyone else- not the students he hexed, not the classes he disrupted, not the friendship he ruined- except himself.
And the three boys latched onto his healthy, birthing hips.
"Bloody hell, it's cold," muttered Sirius. "OI JAMES! COME ON!" his sudden bark made Lily jump out of her skin. "END THE PRACTICE ALREADY, WE'RE FREEZING OUT HERE!"
Oddly enough, there was a mumble of agreement from the stands as well as from the poor sods that called themselves the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
"James holds a record time of four and a half hours practice," said Remus lightly, "in the rain," he added, "completely on broomsticks."
"Git couldn't even walk straight for a week," snorted Sirius.
If they started the whole mantra of complimenting Saint Potter to the high heavens again, Lily was going to tear her hair out. Luckily enough, they didn't because, luckily enough, James decided that a four-hour practice run should only be a one-time thing. Players were dismounting their brooms just as they hit the floor and the students began to head towards the castle.
Sirius and Remus walked with her across the pitch- each of them at least a foot taller than her, making her wonder when did they ever grow from the children that sat beside her during the sorting- but headed to a sweat-slathered James Potter who lingered just before the entrance to the changing room.
He caught sight of her- of course he did- rumpled his hair- as you do- and gave her a beaming smile- which she ignored- just before his friends made it towards him.
Contrary to popular belief, Lily quite liked the Slug Club. She quite liked Professor Slughorn. Sure he shamelessly rounded up his favourite students and invited them to all sorts of dinner parties, but she couldn't say she didn't enjoy being doted on. Lily had brains, and she felt quite accomplished when people recognized that.
"I wish I was in the Slug Club," moaned Marlene as she rolled across her bed. "I could stare at Caradoc Dearborn all evening."
"Weren't you in love with Gideon Prewett just last night?" said Lily as she pulled her hair into a bun.
"Gideon Prewett's not for me," sighed Marlene. "I have to admit though, Evan Rosier's not too bad to look at. I heard his mother's a French heiress that married at least four times."
Rosier was part of the groupie that Sev hung out with. He was in her Divinations class as well. He wasn't as bad as Avery or Mulciber- who cursed every single muggleborn in sight and threw vicious slurs like sweets on Halloween. Rosier was more blasé, nonchalant, and acted as if he were above conversing with mere mortals.
But, she did see him pick up Mary McDonald's books when the fell out of her arms the other day, so he would probably be one of the good Slytherins.
Lily winced.
Awful, wasn't it? To divide the world into good and bad. Then again, a war was brewing. Maybe she shouldn't make assumptions. Maybe she should distrust the whole lot of them. It would be judgemental, but at least it would be safe.
"Flirt with Rosier for me!" called Marlene as Lily walked out the dorm.
Lily snorted. Rosier would probably throw salt over his shoulder the moment she came near him with her muggleborn germs. By chance, as she was making her way to Slughorn's Christmas party, she found him walking out of the library looking a lot worse for wear. Briefly, she wondered if Sev was in the library, pouring over his potions book. Lily shook the thought from her head.
They weren't friends anymore.
"Ms Evans!" exclaimed Slughorn the moment she opened the door. He waddled towards her, his arms extended, and began his usual: compliment her dress, compliment her talent and wonder why she wasn't sorted into Slytherin.
"I don't think you'd treasure me as much, Professor," replied Lily, "if I was so easily in your reach."
"Cheeky!" laughed Slughorn before ushering her in.
There was music from an enchanted gramophone and snow falling outside the great, arching windows. A large table was set out bursting with food- from roast lamb to beef stew to a steaming pot of casserole- and a buffet behind it laden with mince pies, custard creams and molten chocolate cake. Lily sat next to Gwenog Jones- captain of the Ravenclaw team- and, to her utter surprise-
"Black?" she gawked. "What are you doing here?"
"Sitting, Evans," said Sirius moodily. "It's not rocket science."
First, Sirius Black was at his rudest without Lupin and Potter to keep him in check. Second, how on earth did he even know that phrase?
"Sluggy invited me," said Sirius when he caught her gawping. He leaned back and crossed his arms, looking a lot like a twelve year old forced to attend a dinner party by his bullying mother. "Apparently being a 'Black' means something."
Though he said it scathingly loud, Sirius immediately paled. Regulus Black had just entered the room and seemed to have heard the searing comment. He looked an awful lot like his brother- tall, slender, haughty, handsome- but colder, unapproachable and a tad bit bitter. Just as Regulus was about to retort, Slughorn threw himself at the younger Black, clapped at his back, shook him senseless and congratulated him on a sensational Quidditch season.
If Sirius looked moody before, he looked viciously irritable now.
"Why are you even here if all you're going to do is sulk?" said Lily.
Sirius ignored her. Then he cursed Slughorn to the pits of hell. Sluggy noticed the brothers sitting as far apart as possible and decided, no, that won't do, there's a free seat right there, Regulus old boy, right next to your brother! There's a good chap! The Black brothers- what a set!
Sirius was as stiff as a rod. Regulus was pale. In utter silence, they sat side by side to, each making the effort to avoid eye contact. And here Lily thought her relationship with Petunia was heartbreaking. The world never failed to create something worse.
Slughorn moved the conversation around the table- from Gwenog Jones' signing a contract with the Holyhead Harpies to Barty Crouch Jr's ministry aspirations- all until he veered it towards the icy Blacks that looked ready to throttle everyone in the room and then each other. Why couldn't she have sat somewhere else, thought Lily, when she felt Sirius mutter about how ridiculous this evening was, how he should've just ignored James and snuck into Hogsmeade and how he wished he could impale Slughorn with a walking stick.
"And what about your family's view on the new bill hosted in Gringotts Bank?" asked Slughorn, aiming the question at Sirius. "Your father's very involved with the Goblins and the Department of Regulations, is he not?"
All eyes were on Sirius and Lily could feel something ill-boding crackling under his skin. Whatever he was going to say, it was going to be a disaster.
"I don't really know, Professor," said Sirius smoothly. "I couldn't care less about the dealings of my family. They could jump off a bridge, and I wouldn't even notice."
Silence.
"He's right, Professor," said Regulus, as smoothly as Sirius. "Sirius only cares about himself, consequences be damned."
This was her night. Her evening to enjoy the petty indulgences of the Slug Club, the idle chatter, the chocolate fountain, the cakes- not watch one of Potter's friends burn it all to the ground.
"You'll get your consequences when you're dead in a ditch," muttered Sirius.
Slughorn didn't hear that, but Regulus did. He whispered back: "and it'll be your fault."
Sirius' hands were been shaking. It quietly broke her heart. For a moment, Lily wanted to hold them, stop their tremor, and tell him it was going to be alright, because the expression on his face- disbelief, distraught, hurt- wasn't one she would never get used to seeing.
"My fault?" Sirius' voice cracked. He didn't bother keeping it at a whisper. It boomed across the dining hall for everyone to hear. "My fault?" he repeated.
In the handful of times Lily had seen Regulus, she always thought him a composed, nonchalant, aloof version of Sirius. Therefore, she did not expect the boy to turn around, fix his older brother with a seething glare and say, his voice just as booming as Sirius':
"Yes, your fault. You ran away. You left. You."
"Now, boys-" started Slughorn.
But Lily felt he was a little too late. Before she knew it, Sirius grabbed his brother by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the dinner table. Girls were screaming- except Gwenog Jones- and Slughorn looked as if he was going to run away- really, Professor- and all Lily could think of was how typical it was of Potter's friends to steal the spotlight and ruin the evening.
"Where's Potter?" demanded Lily the moment she walked through the portrait hole.
The common room was empty save for Remus by the fire, curled up with a big book and an even bigger mug of hot chocolate.
"What happened to you?" he asked the moment he caught sight of her.
She was covered in chicken casserole. Thankfully, it was cold by the time it splattered all over her.
"Sirius Black," said Lily, peeling pastry from her hair. "He happened."
"He wouldn't put a Blueberry-BlowUp," said Remus matter-of-factly. "We confiscated those off him last month."
"Not that I know what that is," and not that she even wanted to know the mayhem Black went up to if the Marauders, bane of all evil, actually confiscated it off him, "but he decided to go on a rampage and beat his brother up for all of the Slug Club to see."
Remus blinked. Then, he laughed. Then, he realized she wasn't joking. He frowned.
"Are you serious?"
"No, Lupin! I just dunked a whole pot of chicken casserole on my head for fun!" she snapped.
"That bleeding menace," sighed Remus.
"He mentioned Potter made him go?" asked Lily as she peeled off her soggy shoes- that now smelt of pudding and gravy- and ripped off her tights. "I had the delight of sitting next to him all evening and listening to all the curses he mutters under his breath."
"Well…" Remus frowned as he walked towards the portrait hole. Lily found herself following him, barefoot and all, "Sirius didn't exactly want to go, but, James thought he needed it to. I'm sure you know- the whole school does at this point- that Sirius left home this summer, right?"
"So, Potter thought it a grand idea to shove him in the same room as the brother he doesn't stand?" said Lily.
"Exactly," nodded Remus.
"Typical, creating a fire from mist."
"I'd have to disagree," smiled Remus. "Sirius won't admit, but he's regretted leaving his brother. So, the only place the two of them would be forced to talk it out is the Slug Club. Not to mention it's the only place James and I aren't really invited to, so, there's nowhere for Sirius to hide," he explained. "And our absence makes Regulus a lot nicer," he added.
"Talk it out, though?" said Lily. "They had fists in each other's faces."
"A man's way of communicating," said Remus pompously. He playfully nudged Lily when he caught the roll of her eyes. "Whether it's fists of fits, at least it's communication, right? Better than nothing."
They stopped short of the hospital wing, only because Regulus Black- accompanied by a weary looking Rosier- stalked out. Even with his lip split, his cheeks bruised and his shirt ripped, he still managed to look like those runway models in the magazines Petunia drooled over. Those goddamn Blacks and their inherited good looks.
Sirius seemed to have gotten as good as he had given, sporting a black eye and a litter of bruises. However, he wasn't alone.
Potter sitting beside him on one of the rickety old beds, quiet and reserved, his voice hushed. Whatever he was saying, Sirius was hanging onto, nodding every so often, despondently staring at the floor. Though the thought seemed odd, it was fitting: the way Potter spoke and the way Sirius listened, it looked like a father with a tearful child.
Remus caught the expression on her face and, for a moment, looked amused.
"Not as bad as he seems, right?" said Remus gently.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Lily quickly.
Almost too quickly, because, from the smile Remus gave her, he knew she knew what he was talking about. Before Potter could look up and realize she was there, Lily turned on her heel and headed back to the dorms.
Something was off.
She knew it the moment she stepped into Transfigurations.
For some reason, something just seemed off.
Lily took her seat- the one at the very front- ignored Sev's attempts at making eye contact- as per usual- and bit at the ends of her hair, because, when something was out of place, Lily just didn't like it.
The answer- sort of- came in the form of the boy who sat next to her.
"Can I help you, Potter?" snapped Lily.
Last she checked, Potter and his goons took the seats at the very back of the classroom before McGonagall would forcefully disperse them. Not once, in her six years of attending this school, has she ever seen him creep to the front.
"Yes, you can, Evans!" said James cheerfully before he grabbed her bag of the floor, dumped it on the vacant seat next to his. He dumped his own bag, pulled off his robe and draped it over so that there would be no doubt, in anyone's mind, that the seat next to him was not free.
"If you're going to distract me-" started Lily.
"I plan on giving McGonagall my undivided attention, don't you worry. I plan on concentrating on nothing else."
Odd. It all just seemed odd. Even as he took out a roll of parchment, uncapped his ink and sat there, quill inked and at the ready, like the model student everyone knew he wasn't. It just seemed odd.
"Where're your cronies?" said Lily, craning her neck to get a better look around the room. "Black, Lupin and Pettigrew? Last I checked they're attached to your birthing hips."
"My what?" sputtered Potter.
"I meant hips!" Lily cursed Black and Lupin for the ridiculous conversation they had last October. It seemed to have found a way to latch onto her brain. "Just hips. As in the saying… latched to the hip… or whatnot…"
She found Black sitting at the far right.
And Lupin sitting on the far left.
And Pettigrew looked utterly lost in the middle.
"Is this another one of your obnoxious pranks?" said Lily through slit eyes. "Is that why you and your friends have strategically dispersed yourselves through the classroom?"
"I wish," muttered James.
And it was the way he said it that made Lily realize that, for once, maybe this wasn't a joke. Pettigrew seemed lost, Black looked broken and Lupin looked bitter. And Potter looked exhausted.
"Did… something happen?" asked Lily quietly. "Between the four of you?"
"Don't know what you're talking about," said James quickly.
Too quickly.
She didn't have time to question it since McGonagall swooped into the front of the classroom and began her lesson. It was something about animals. Something about objects. Something about Transfigurations. Something Lily was sure was important if she could just concentrate on the bleeding blackboard instead of Potter who seemed to play the role of enthusiastic student far too well. He didn't even spare Lily a glance- which was saying something- and looked far too enamored by McGonagall's explanation than need necessary. It was almost as if he was blocking the whole world out-
Or… blocking out his friends?
Lily craned her neck. Black was staring outside the window, hand on his cheek, looking like a washed out watercolour of misery. Lupin looked distracted, eyes on the ragged stain on the opposite wall, his assignment forgotten. Pettigrew kept looking between all three of them like a rat trying to escape into its crevice.
"Something did happen," whispered Lily as she turned back to her work.
"Drop it, Evans," whispered James.
Sad, thought Lily, how out of all the things she thought would make it through this brewing war, it was the friendship of those four boys. But, apparently, nothing on this earth was unshakeable. Everything could be broken.
"I don't know if this'll help, but…" started Lily. "They've always said good things about you."
James didn't look at her, his eyes strictly on his parchment. But, his quill stopped scratching.
They really love you, she wanted to say, but didn't think that was a sentiment a sixteen year old boys easily shared without feeling a peg on their idiotic notion of masculinity. Instead, she said:
"I'd stick it through with them."
And left it at that.
Soon enough, class ended: Black bolted out of the classroom, Lupin seemed to have disappeared into thin air and Pettigrew wandered up to Potter. Lily smiled at Peter- he was generally nice enough- and noted just how lonely the two of them- Pettigrew and Potter- looked without the a dark-haired troublemaker and a sandy-haired chocoholic by their sides. And just how quiet.
She wondered- as she walked down the Charm's corridor, catching sight of Sev with his Death Eater friends- if the brewing war would bring more of that quiet chaos, cultivated from a loss of friends.