I'm Not Gay
I'm Calliope Torres and I'm not gay. All my life I've had boyfriends. My family wouldn't accept it if I brought home a girlfriend. But that's ok; I don't need to worry about that because I'm not gay. I'm religious too like my family, I've read the bible, I pray from time to time but I don't understand why some people think two people of the same sex being together is a problem. Well just know not everyone religious thinks the same.
My good friend is gay, Michael, I've known him for years. I was there when he came out to his parents and they had trouble accepting him. But they did eventually, now he's happy, living with his boyfriend.
I was with him when he went to the gay clubs, he kissed the men and I kissed the women, but I'm not gay. I'd tell myself that every time I kissed a girl. The first time I slept with a woman, I told myself I wasn't gay. My family would disown me, I couldn't be gay.
I've never had a serious boyfriend, unless you can call a 3 month 'relationship' when I was 15 a serious relationship. I haven't kissed a guy in a while and I've kissed plenty of women, but I spend most of my weekends in gay bars and it's only kissing, it doesn't mean anything.
I've been doing this for a while and after every weekend I tell myself I'm not gay. I said it after the first time I met Arizona Robbins, we connected instantly, she was an excellent kisser too; I spent the rest of the following week thinking about her. I was looking forward to seeing her again, to kissing those soft lips again, to feeling my hands on her body again…. But I'm still not gay.
We met up that next weekend, we danced, we kissed and we didn't want it to end. So we prolonged it - we ended up back at her place and the next morning after we had spent the night making further plans together and making love I realised something…
….. I have to tell my family I'm gay.