Your name is VAARSUVIUS IGNATIUS. You enjoy GARDENING, ARCANE MAGICKS, TOMES OF FORGOTTEN LORE, and LOQUATIOUSNESS. You tolerate your many friends and one VILE ENEMY, a certain BELKAR BITTERLEAF. You are currently in a DIRE STRAIT, as you find yourself with a VENGEFUL SNOWMAN preparing to murder your offspring. You, of course, PAID EVIL ONTO EVIL long ago, hence the VENGEFUL part. Your enemy uses an eight ball as a symbol, hence the SNOWMAN part. In front of you is an INFERNALLY ACQUIRED RING of mystical power.
Vaarsuvius: Examine ring.
It's a ring.
Vaarsuvius: Reminisce.
You reminisce about your beloved partner, whom you have abandoned in search of great power and glory. You reminisce about your idiot session players, and the few who are not idiots. You reminisce about violence.
Vaarsuvius: Listen to the IFCC.
Cedrik begins speaking, his fedora covering his face in shadow. "Listen. This ain't exactly a common deal. You either take the ring, or ya kill yourself and hope the Breath player brings ya back to life quick enough that you can warn your family. Sure, you have a Seer, but if you take the ring, it's all on you."
Vaarsuvius: Listen to Nero.
Nero strokes his revolver. "Cedrik's really put it better than I could have. We might be from the Land of Magic and Hellfire, but unless you humble yourself that way, it's best just to take the ring."
Vaarsuvius: Listen to Lee.
Lee plays some record. You do not recognize the tune. It seems WISTFUL. He does not talk.
Vaarsuvius: Weigh your options.
On one hand, you can risk the DUBIOUS COMPETENCE of your session players to bring you back to life. On the other hand, you can simply MAKE HASTE and OBLITERATE.
[S] Vaarsuvius: ASCEND.
You put on the BLACK QUEEN'S RING and feel your skin darken to a metal black. Your eyes feel like BURNING SPHERES and your back erupts with FEATHERED WINGS. Your entire body feels like a BEAUTIFUL WEAPON. Tonight, the SLAUGHTER BEGINS.
[S] Vaarsuvius: MAKE HER PAY.