Wolf: So, if you haven't read Warriors Use IM!, you might wanna go check that out. It's not necessary, but some of the topics will be deprived from there…

Jayfeather: So…

Wolf: Well, here is the story! I don't own Warriors, Dairy Queen, or Harry Potter. (The Harry Potter reference isn't really that noticeable, it's just a mention of the hospital in the series…)

Without further ado, here's Warriors Work at Dairy Queen!

The Grand Opening

"There!" Tigerstar cut the ribbon of his new Dairy Queen, to enormous applause form the people who decided to attend. "Lakeside Dairy Queen is now open for business!"

The employees all rushed inside: Tigerstar, the manager and fry cook; Jayfeather and Cinderheart, who worked the drive thru ; Lionblaze, the ice cream dude; and Heathertail, the cashier.

The first thing Lionblaze and Heathertail did was start arguing. Then they soon disappeared to who knows where.

"Tigerstar!" Firestar called out. Him and Graystripe had attended, for the call for delicious ice cream was far too great to resist. "I got you a present!"

Graystripe handed Tigerstar a brightly wrapped package. Tigerstar beamed. "Wow, Firestar! Graystripe! This is incredible! What is it?" He gingerly shook the box.

Graystripe grinned. "Oh, you know, it's just a special present from all of us ThunderClan cats…"

Tigerstar opened the box…only to have a gallon of pink paint explode all over his face.

Firestar and Graystripe cracked up laughing. "Dude!" said Graystripe, "I knew he'd fall for it!"

Firestar responded to Tigerstar, between laughs, "It was a paint bomb, sucker!"

Tigerstar wasn't just mad. He was TICKED.

"DIE, YOU IMBECILES!!!" he screeched.

"Ahhhhhh!" shrieked Firestar and Graystripe, "Mass murdering psycopath on a killing rampage!!!" Terrified of the lunatic, they fled from the redeemed dark cat's wrath.

Meanwhile, Jayfeather was chatting with Cidnerheart. "So, Cinderheart?"

"Yeah, Jayfeather?" replied Cinderheart.

Jayfeather gulped. He had been working up the courage to ask Cinderheart on a date for weeks. Now was his big chance. "Well," he stated, "I was wondering-"

"HEY! YOU! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU, MR. DRIVE THRU GUY!!!"

Jayfeather sighed. Now what?! "What do you want?!" he growled into his microphone to the mysterious customer.

The voice was that of a she-cat's. "I want a cheeseburger! And don't forget the oranges!"

"You can't have oranges on a cheeseburger!"

"GIVE ME THE ORANGES!!!"

"FINE!!!" Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Jayfeather, Tigerstar couldn't make the cheeseburger, seeing how he was chasing Firestar and Graystripe. "Please pull up to the next window, madam."

Jayfeather sighed. Just his luck! His luck was about to get worse. Darn, it sucks to be a blind cat! His annoying customer was none other than Nightcloud. Jayfeather could smeel her stench clearly, among the scents of cheeseburgers, French fries, and poo.

"N-N-Nightcloud?!" he stuttered out, astonished.

"GIVE ME MY ORNAGES!"

"Never!" he denied.

Nightcloud look murderous. But before she could lunge at Jayfeather, another voice hollered, "Nightcloud! Where have you been?" A brown tabby tom wearing white clothing and a surgical mask ran up, panting. "Nigthcloud! You were supposed to stay in St. Mungo's Mentally Unstable Ward!"

"No!" cried Nightcloud, terrified, "I can't go back to the scary place!"

"Nightcloud!" One problem: Nightcloud was in a car; the surgeon was on his feet. The mentally unstable she-cat floored the gas pedal…and crashed into the wall.

"AIEEE!" bellowed Cinderheart.

From the opening in the wall, Nightcloud fled from the doctor. A black she-cat with thin veins of white fur and glowing green eyes sprinted by, screaming, "I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD WITH SPOONS! BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jayfeather shook his head at the crazy authoress's antics. "Wolf is so weird."

"HEY!" screeched a furious Sandstorm, "LIONBLAZE AND HEATHERTAIL ARE MAKING OUT UNDERNEATH THE CONUTER AGAIN!!!"

Wolf: Wow. So much of that was in Caps Lock…

Jayfeather: Poor Lionblaze. Grandma is going to kill him.

Wolf: Anyays, this story isn't my first priority, so I'll need a lot of reviews before I continue. I have enough stories as it is…but this story is going to be awesome! So, you know the drill…review, or face my army of zombie chickens!