A/N: I have finally figured out how to work on two stories at once! It's was a miracle that I even figured out how to find Microsoft word-even if it is terribly out dated-in the first place, but now I have two, and I know how to make them reproduce like BUNNIES! Oh, they're so cute and soft and fuzzy and innocent and wittle fluffy tail, and big floppy ears and-OOOOOOOOOOOO, BUNNIES ARE SO CUTE! But now on to the story.
MASSIVE ASS DISCLAMER! I don't own JtHM, the devilishly frightening Jhonen C. Vasquez does. I don't own Cirque Du Freak, the master of macabre Darren Shan does. I don't own Creature Feature, the man that has viewed possibly every horror movie in existence, Curtis Rx, and his never-smiling, possible mass-murderer partner in crime Erik X do. I don't own Invader ZIM; sadly it belongs to the faceless corporate giants Nickelodeon and Viacom…
Cirque Du Homicidal Creature ZIM
Ch 1: Of Blood and Waffles
Zim's POV…
It was a relatively BORING night on the stinky planet known as Earth, and I, the AMAZING ZIM was in charge of finding weaknesses and destroying all of this DIS-GUS-TING human life. As per usual on a Tuesday night, I was out scouting the streets in my BRILLIANT DISGUISE! But something in my squeedily-spooch told me that tonight would be interesting; I had left GIR at home so he wouldn't mess anything up.
Now I was wandering the streets deep in the city, I don't get worried about being lost any more, I have memorized my base's address perfectly! But anyways, as I, Zim was walking the streets I saw a scary man passing out flyers in the alley way, my squeedily-spooch was telling me that this is what I was waiting for. I turned into the alley and walked up to the man.
"You! Unusually frightening man of great power and purpose must tell I, the GREAT AND AMAZING IRKEN INVADER ZIM, what you are doing at once!"
He glared at me with one vicious look that could make Zim burst into flames. He spoke in a voice that demonstrated a frustrated and barely held patience. "Why little alien boy-ha Tuesday-I am passing out flyers for a show that I am featured in, which you must take if you wish to attend, they are more important than tickets, because only if you have them you can get tickets."
I took one of the posters and examined the head-lining acts. Wolf-men, spider charmers, limb-regenerators, immortals, reptilian humans, and mind readers were all featured on the poster. It was worth looking at, maybe I could try to control their minds and use them as my invulnerable army? GENIUS!
/\^/\The Next Day/\^/\ No POV
"WAFFLES!" the cry broke through the slightly chilled morning. Zim rose from the toilet elevator in the kitchen to find his ever malfunctioning robot making what seemed to be yet another one of his never ending batches of waffles. For some reason they were tinted pink, he grabbed a fork to examine them, sniffing it he smelt nothing unusual. Maybe GIR just found the food coloring, Zim thought. He sat down at the table while GIR served a heaping plate of waffles. Zim took his pile and poured on the syrup, he picked up several waffles with his fork and ate them whole.
"Hey! These are pretty good, better then your usual waffles. GIR what did you add?" he said as he scarfed down the rest of his pile and went for more.
"Shhh! It's a secret! I gots da stuff from that guy you saw in the alley, who gave you the poster." He didn't touch the waffles.
"Wait, I didn't bring you with last night, how do you know this?" he said finishing his second helping and going for thirds.
"Well it was so scary here all alone, so I followed you, but don't worry I put on mah costume." He continued ignoring the waffles.
"So what did he give you?" Zim said as he ate the last waffle.
"I can't tell you now, I'll tell you later."
"Fine." Zim said disinterested, if it made waffles taste better somehow, then it's probably nothing bad.
/\^/\Later at Skool/\^/\
GIR walked into class, in costume, walked straight up to Zim and told him what he put in the waffles. Zim's eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his heart sped up. GIR giggled and left the room. Zim screamed "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I ATE HUMAN BLOOD-WAFFLES! ZIM IS GOING TO BE SICK!" Zim ran over to where Dib was sitting and threw up all over him.
"HIS VOMIT IS BURNING MY SKIN! AAAAAHHHHH!" Dib screamed.
"Be quiet!" ordered the ancient demon of a teacher, and the children instantly complied.
/\^/\That Thursday/\^/\
Zim walked up to the place where he was supposed to purchase the tickets, when he heard annoyingly familiar voices. He turned the corner and what he saw confirmed his suspicion; he saw the Gaz-beast and the Dib-stink talking to the ticket seller, who must have upset Gaz because she picked him up and got one of those demonic glows that she only gets when she becomes engulfed by her easily acquired anger. Quickly the seller gave them three tickets, which according to the man handing out the posters, wasn't allowed unless you got two posters, which can't happen unless two different people walk up to him. So Zim guessed that Gaz wanted to see the show as much as Dib did. And the third ticket would be for their dad.
Zim waited until they had left before going up and getting his tickets-which he made sure were for the show before the one that Dib and his sister were going to.
/\^/\That Friday Night/\^/\
Zim walked towards the abandon Skool on the other side of town where, it said on the tickets, the show would be. GIR was disguised in his boy costume, and was told to be quiet, which was reinforced by the metal plate that Zim had welded to GIR's mouth.
Zim walked into the auditorium, where he was greeted by Mr. Tall. "What trickery is this? How can you be so tall if you are nothing but a mere human?"
"I'm no ordinary human, I'm Mr. Tall, but that is all I will tell you. Now do have your tickets?"
"Yes, SIR!" he said saluting before handing him his tickets.
"Are you human?"
Zim didn't hesitate, "No, I am an Irken Invader sent to destroy this planet, and everything on it. Except you, you are far too tall to be annihilated, in fact, how tall are you?"
"I am nearly three times taller then you, my actual height, eight feet four inches."
Zim gasped "You are four inches taller then the Tallest! This isn't possible! Humans can not be as tall as the Tallest!"
"As I said before, I am not human."
"Hmmm…" Zim contemplated his statement, but quickly ignored the last ten minutes and sat down, front and center. The only other people who were there were a spooky man, an anxious woman, and a frightened looking boy in the back of the lecture hall. Zim saw that they posed no threat and quickly ignored them.
After thirty minutes of waiting the show began, with the musical styling of Creature Feature, who played the song the Greatest Show Unearthed to start the show. After which there was a wolf-man and a mind-reading woman, preceding that exhibition, was a limb-regenerating man, and another male with two stomachs.
A short intermission followed that, where little souvenirs were handed out. Zim jotted down notes while GIR clapped with ultimate approval for every act. Eventually they began to blur together. Snakes, spiders, a thin man, a toothy lady, on and on it went, for Zim at least-he wasn't very patient. It ended with some contortionists, twisting twins or something according to Zim's vague recollection. The band played one more song before the show-closing, it was Six Foot Deep. Finally Mr. Tall walked out on stage to conclude the show.
"And that, dear audience is the conclusion for our show to-" he was suddenly cut off by a cry from the back of the audience.
"No it isn't! This is!" Zim recognized it as the man that he saw earlier who shouted, but he didn't get enough time to correctly determine whether he was or not when the man pulled out a knife and quickly killed the child, with an evil grin on his face, he turned to the woman and stabbed her repeatedly, before pulling out a gun and finishing her off. His sadistic grin was still in place as he put the gun to his head and blew it off with one tremendous *CRACK!* like thunder in your ears.
The audience stood entirely still, shocked, horrified, and then someone suddenly began to scream when the bodies began to rise like zombies from the dead.
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