AN: This AN is for information about the next chapters, things you might like to know and answering anonymous reviews. It is the only AN in the whole story, so make sure to check back on it because it changes often! We also often put pointless trivia here as well.

-Updates are on Mondays, Fridays, and Wednesdays. Ideally, there are three updates a week but it seems that's dwindled down to one.

-This is an AU. Not everything will be canon; most things will be completely different from canon. (Especially dialogue.)

-Pairing selections have been decided! Vote either on our profile or by answering in a review. The choices are NaruTen (NarutoxTenten), NaruHina (NarutoxHinata), NaruKaka (NarutoxKakashi), NaruSasu (NarutoxSasuke), and NaruKiba (NarutoxKiba)

-It's over 9000! That's right, folks! Queer and Ki have broken the nine-thousand word line AND the ten-thousand word line AT THE SAME TIME. Whoop!

-Ten reviews! WooooooHOOOOOOOOO!

-Hsjsv: Thank you! We never believed someone would consider our little brainchild a good fanfiction! Also, I'll make sure that when Ki gets back online that he goes and reads/favorites some nice NaruTen, as that seems to be the most popular choice of pairing! Thanks again for reviewing! ~Q.

-Sorry, everyone! All your PMs make us feel terrible about not updating as much as we should. There will be more chapters but... Things have gotten complicated between Queer and I. Worry not, hm? Thanks for all of your continued support! ~気

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The mister with the red mask was back again this time.

Naruto almost considered pulling his pants down and flashing him, but he didn't really know the guy except for his mask. He could be - and probably was - a pervert, taking into account the cover of the book he was always reading. It was one Naruto had seen in the market and had read a few pages of. (It was kinda boring but obvious-perverts like the him might like it.)

The blonde frowned, his blue eyes troubled. Today had not been a good day. Another shopkeeper had gotten angry when he looked at the girl next to him and smiled. Apparently, she must have been his daughter and he was afraid of her being 'defiled by that demon brat!' and had tried to bring a conveniently placed axe down on Naruto's defenseless body. (He would trap a belonging of that jerk's to make up for the scare.)

Then, as if a scene from one of those beaten-up books he used to read at the orphanage, the red-lined-kitty masked guy showed up and blocked it. He grabbed the man by the arm and disappeared again.

Dammit, was all Naruto could think. He just stopped my excuse to bring some serious hurt to that meany. He's lucky. (Though, unbeknown to Naruto, the man did not get off lucky and was tortured for several hours before being sent home and living the rest of his life afraid of kittens. Kittens with red lines, to be exact.)

Frustrated that those people in masks always took away the fun, Naruto decided to confront the one outside his window. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil, he quickly scribbled down some characters before folding it into a paper plane and tossing it out his window. To his untrained eye, it was almost as if it disappeared. But if he slowed it down enough in his mind, he could just see a flash of silver.

Naruto sat on his bed and awaited a reply. A light ping against his window and Naruto scrambled over to the sill. Jutting perfectly out - wow, Red was a badass ninja - was a better-folded airplane. Flattening it out, in the floaty symbols were the most aloof words he had ever read.

It would be bad for my reputation if you got hurt on my watch, little fox.

Scrunching his face up, Naruto growled and scribbled a response and sent it back out, albeit more fiercely this time. (The way Red caught that airplane so fast was still badass.)

Ping.

Such dirty words from such a tiny boy. Surely they don't teach you such foul language in school?

Ping.

You're going to 'teach me a lesson'? I hope it's in something unrelated to smarts, because you seem to be failing in that category.

Ping.

Such serious threats. I hope I haven't angered you, little kit.

Ping.

I am not a pervert, boy. And you're much too young to attract my interest. Your petty jabs do nothing.

Suffice to say, Naruto did not like Red very much the rest of the day.

'Thief! Thief!'

'I'm not-'

'Yes you are! Thief, thief!'

Naruto froze as the crowd gathered around him, frowning and looking at them with those eyes. The shop keeper was tearing at his pockets, trying to prove that Naruto was - in fact - a thief.

Angry that he had not found anything (except for Naruto's wallet, which the guy kept and the blonde would have objected to if he was not currently fearing for his life) the man swung his head from side to side.

'Where is it?'

'Where-is-what-sir-I-don't-understand-'

'Where is it, you thief! I know you took some of my precious merchandise!' And then the blows started raining down and where were the masked people? Naruto thought about calling out, but he refrained when he realized that this was his chance.

Shouting loudly with a force he had never felt, he threw the people on top of him off and went for the man that had initiated the attack. Knowing not to kill him - lest he get in trouble - Naruto smashed him into the ground with his shoulder, the speed behind the hit making up for his lack of build.

One down, another came lumbering towards him, their heavy weight setting them off. Making a split second decision, Naruto tripped him and launched himself off the man's large belly, giving a kick to the jaw of another attacker.

Someone underneath Naruto, however, grabbed him by the ankle while he was still in the air and slammed him to the ground. Whimpering and with a rib cracked, Naruto put on his best 'angry' face and glared at the man approaching him with a large and formidable-looking knife.

The man wore a Konoha hitai-ate and smiled devilishly. Raising his arm high above a held-down Naruto, he disappeared.

Thank goodness...

The jeering crowd froze as the man that had been brave enough to kill the boy vanished. Someone else - who was obviously lacking in brain power - charged towards Naruto from the back of the gathering before he too became nothing but air. The people closest to Naruto screamed and ran, dropping him as they fled. Everyone spread into separate directions as the actuality that they had just broke the rule came to their minds.

Naruto coughed heavily and flinched as the motion caused the broken bone to move. Strong arms scooped him up against a hard chest and he was being whisked away.

As he awoke, the first thing he could think was 'I was naked.'

Indeed, he had been. Someone had stripped him of his clothes and put him in pyjamas. The thought of some pervert slowly undressing him... Naruto shuddered.

'Oh, so you're up.'

Naruto fainted.

'You know, you could at least stay awake long enough to tell me if you're okay.'

'Mnnhmn 'kay.'

'Wonderful.' Cracking an eye open long enough to see who he was speaking with, Naruto's body jerked up as he stared.

'Red!'

'Yo.'

'What are you...' Faint images of a crowd and people disappearing swam to the forefront of his mind. He gripped his hands in his yellow hair as he tried to remember. 'Was I... In a fight?'

'Yep. Broke a rib.'

'Mmm,' was all Naruto could say before he sunk back onto his beaten pillow. 'How long have I... Been asleep?'

'Only six hours. And then you fainted. So six and a half hours,' said Red. Nodding slightly, Naruto's face pulled into a grimace as he shifted. 'You broke a rib.'

'Yeah, you said. Six hours is usually enough for having three broken. I've just been sleeping and haven't got use to the feel.'

Red's eyes widened slightly but he nodded. Why would he have three ribs broken? And then he remembered who this kid was. 'Right.'

Rolling his shoulders, Naruto dragged himself out of bed and walked on unsteady legs to his kitchen. Blindly flicking on the rickety bulb and preparing some ramen, he heard Red walk into his living room and turn on the tiny telly.

Padding over next to Red he absently watched the news with him for the three minutes it took for his meal to cook before walking back into the kitchen, Red at his heels.

'Can I get you something? Milk? Water? Spit?'

'Ha. Milk is fine.' Naruto nodded and grabbed the milk carton from his fridge and handed it to Red before pointing at the cabinet holding the glasses. He then grabbed some chopsticks, crossing back into the small living room and sitting himself on the lumpy couch. Red glanced down at the Use By date. 'This milk is spoilt.'

'Yeah? Pour it down the sink. I'll get some more later.' Red nodded and tossed the liquid down the sink before throwing the container into the bin. He turned on the tap and filled his cup with water. 'Unless you have a cast-iron stomach, I suggest you use the filtered water in the fridge.'

Red's eyes bulged again. Sighing, he dumped out the water and put the glass back where it had been before stalking back into the kitchen to find his charge finished with his food. Naruto was watching the news, an impassive look on his face. Glancing to the set, Red watched the story.

'I am live with Fuka Hage, who says he found a thief robbing his stall before turning into a monster!'

'That's right, sir. I was minding my own business before a blonde brat comes up and steals some of my stuff right in front of my face! I tried to ask him nicely to give it back but he only said, 'Hell no! You old bastard!' before trying to run off. Luckily, a group of civilians came to my aid and stopped him. I searched him softly while he continued to insult me. He began attacking me and the other villagers viciously but we eventually got him subdued. Suddenly, a few people helping me disappeared while the boy grinned! Fearing for my safety I ran away!'

'Can you tell me what the monster stole?'

'Um... Uh... Some... Apples! He stole some apples!'

'Tch,' Naruto muttered while switching off the television. 'What a load of garbage.'

'Aren't you only seven? That's much too early to start acting so pessimistic.' Naruto swung his head around and glared straight into Red's mask's eye holes. He pointed a thumb to himself.

'I'm going to be a ninja. It's never too early to be pessimistic... Whatever that means.'