~Fragile
A/N- I came up with this in a dream I had a day ago. It brought me to tears! So, I wanted to write it out. It was difficult too because I didn't exactly remember everything.
I'm not going to tell you anything though. I don't want to give much away. I hope you like it. I also have this all planned out well, the first marking period, I do.
Also I read the book, "Speak," that's why I'm guessing I had this dream.
I do not own the Twilight Saga or anything except this story!
~Summary-
IT taunts me as I run down the hallway. IT fakes a friendly smile. Jake thinks we are still friends. IT is not my friend. IT is nothing. IT is just a vague memory. I lie. IT is a very clear memory.
~First Marking Period
I Hate –Heart New York City . . .
I am starting the twelfth grade. I have four new binders, hair that I hate and a headache.
It's abnormal for vampires (Half vampires) to get headaches. However, if you intend to think constantly on only one concept, headaches tend to happen.
I slipped on my black and white converses. It's the converses that are really ratty and should be thrown out into the garbage can. I just don't have the heart too.
My Auntie Alice is behind me. I can hear her repeatedly tap her foot.
She reminds of those popular cheerleading girls in those comedy movies I've been lately watching.
My Auntie Alice is going to yell and argue at me for not wearing what she wants me to wear.
She had a whole outfit picked (Red –Auntie Alice says red looks best on me, I stay away from red at all times –Blouse, light blue skinny jeans and red flats) out and laid on my bed this morning. I ignored it. It was very beautiful. I wanted to wear it. I even tried it on.
I just . . . couldn't bring myself to wear it at school.
Instead, I am wearing a gray sweatshirt (That says, "I Heart New York City" in black Times New Roman Font) and old blue jeans.
I could clearly see why Auntie Alice would be angered by my choice of style today.
It's comfortable. Auntie Alice says I'm turning into my mother. It's my style. Auntie Alice says my style drastically changed over the summer.
I love the font on my sweatshirt, it's very exciting?
The torn rips in my jeans really bring out my eyes?
I chewed on my bottom lip.
"Nessie," my beloved Auntie Alice whined out my two syllable nickname. I hate when she does that. I wonder what it would sound like is she whines out, "Renesmee."
I hate whining, the end.
"Nessie . . ."
"Why don't you love me?"
I snapped out of my memory. Luckily, my father isn't here. I would be dead meat.
Me: Here comes the complaining . . .
Me: Should I turn around?
Me:
Me: Should I walk away?
Me:
Auntie Alice: "Why didn't you wear what I picked out?"
Me:
Auntie Alice: "Do you not like it?"
I was about to say, "No," however, I thought about it and came to the conclusion that my Auntie Alice would ask a continual amount of questions to why I am not wearing it if I like it.
I painfully chewed on my lip. "Yes, it's just not me?" I lied.
She gasped. "Really," she questionably whispered. "I don't understand, Nessie!" She exploded.
"You used to be so girly! You used to go shopping with me! You used to let me give you makeovers, play dress up, style your hair! Now, you won't even let me touch you! You won't even go shopping with me anymore!"
She looked as if she was about to burst out crying.
Auntie Alice was frowning. This is very rare. I debated on hugging her . . . ?
Me: I am truly sorry, Auntie Alice . . .
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to cry so badly.
"It's just –
Auntie Alice's lips were slowly turning into a grin. She probably was thinking I was going to change my mind.
I carefully continued.
–not me anymore, Auntie Alice, I've changed, people change, I apologize that you are angry with me –
(Interruption) Auntie Alice: "I'm not angry with you. I'm utterly confused by your drastic change in personality over the summer . . ."
My Auntie Alice's lips were back to frowning.
Me:
Auntie Alice: "What's happening to you, Nessie?"
Me: She's gaining up on you! Say something! Now!
Me: I can't. My throat burns.
Unexpectedly, I feel two warm arms wrap tightly around my torso. I freeze. My breathing becomes rigid.
"Are you ready for school, Ness?"
I unfreeze. I blink a few times and try my absolute best at a welcoming smile.
I failed, miserably. I nod. I can not talk. I can not lie to him. Even though, my nod is a lie.
I definitely know that if I speak to Jake (My uh . . . boyfriend) I'll blurt it out.
He holds me tighter. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to stay home and hide in my closet.
My head is killing me. "Are you ready?" Jake asks my Auntie Alice. I truly hope she says, "Yes."
I can easily imagine her dragging me back upstairs, stripping me out of my clothing, shoving a bright blood red dress at me and matching heels!
I bet she would too if we still had time. Fortunately, we don't. Thank you.
My dearest Auntie Alice glanced at me. I honestly wish I could read her mind. I want to know what she is thinking when she sees me.
She gave me a petty smile, (A petty smile?) "Yes," She mumbled before walking away.
I sorrowfully stared at her walking body.
I watched her happily kiss Uncle Jasper on the cheek. Uncle Jasper lovingly hugged her.
Then the couple was having a silent conversation. Uncle Jasper and Auntie Alice were speechlessly staring into each others eyes.
It seems private. I should turn around –
Uncle Jasper waved at me with a calm smile when he saw me. I uncertainly waved back.
Auntie Alice was at this moment going outside to her car. She opened the front door –
He turns me around. He brushes my hair away from my face. His fingers leave a trail of warmth. He stares into my broken eyes.
Jake: "I love you."
I think I just died, again.
He did not wait for me to answer.
He was beginning to get used to my tongue-tied voiceless communications towards him.
His lips press softly against mine.
–And, again.
Welcome to Jail –High School . . .
The school board is changing the mascot. It was the "Cats," however; the winner team kept calling our team pussies. (We loose a lot) Now, we are the Kings High School Huskies!
Go Huskies!
The janitor is painting over the "Go Cats!" sign with white paint. I walked pass him towards my locker. When I get to number –717, I stop.
21-18-17
My locker opens. I attempted a smile. It was unsuccessful. I beyond a doubt need to work on my smiling.
I signed and closed my locker with a "Clink."
"Hey," I could hear someone hesitantly whisper.
Alexi Waters, my best friend stood quietly waving at me.
She left approximately –
Text Messages- 141
Cell Phone Calls- 71
Picture Messages- 19
Video Messages- 6
I wasted my summer vacation watching Spanish soap operas and (I hate human food) eating Ben and Jerry ice cream.
I didn't text, call, contact anybody.
I am pathetic.
Me:
Alexi: "Why didn't you call, text, contact me back?"
Me:
Alexi: "I was worried Ness!"
I could see her brown eyes scan my body. "I'm really worried." She crossed her russet arms over her chest.
Alexi was wearing a stunning black knee length sundress (It perfectly matched her hair color) and black flats.
I envied her courage and braveness for wearing that.
I am shockingly surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend.
Alexi Waters an overprotective best friend. However, she has the right to be angry.
Me:
Alexi: "What happened to you?" She pointed at me. I wanted to cry.
Me:
Alexi: "I looked everywhere for you at Prom! Jake was looking for you too! Then he got a phone call and he was gone too! You guys just left me like that! I had to call my mom to pick me up!"
I closed my eyes and flinched from her yells.
Is she trying to make me remember it? (Yes, yes she is!) I have been trying to forget it for months.
Alexi: "How am I supposed to know if you were okay, if you don't reply back to anything? I thought you were dead!"
Me:
Alexi: "Why won't you speak? I went the whole summer not knowing anything! I was so worried, Nessie! If you were my friend you would've replied back! I guess we're not friends anymore, huh?"
Me: I'm sorry, Alexi . . .
Me:
Alexi: "Ness, answer me!"
Me: lie
Me: I can't . . .
Me: But, you will . . .
Me: I, will, not, lie to her.
Me: You have to your family . . .
I inhaled and exhaled. Then I opened my mouth –
"I wasn't feeling so well. I just walked home –
Me: Lie.
Me: No.
It wasn't a lie. I chewed on my top lip. My teeth were scraping its way down.
IT smelled like alcohol. "Jayden are you okay?"
"I didn't know what I was doing . . . the punch was spiked I guess?"
Me: Did you hear that? You lied to your best friend.
I want to cry. However, I have to be strong. I hate this.
Alexi: (With her wonderful sarcasm) "So, you were drunk on spiked punch – I winced – the whole entire summer vacation?"
Me:
Alexi: "No, I'm pretty sure you weren't."
Me:
Alexi: "I even came over your house to check up on you! But, your family told me you didn't want to see me right now or you were busy!"
"Nessie Girl, Alexi is here!"
"I'm busy Un –Emmett! Tell her to come back later!"
Me:
Alexi: "Just forget it!"
I could hear her footsteps slowly fade away.
Me: If only I could . . .
Me: However, you can't . . .
Me: You will never, ever forget it . . .
The warning bell went off. I ran my way towards my first period.
A/N- Hi! How are you? This made me cry :(
Nest chapter soon. Review! Please? Thank You.
Question for today?!
1) Should I continue?
~AngieEllaCullen~