This is my first CSI-NY fic. I love the characters, and I love fanfiction, but I don't always see things the way others do. There are spoilers for Epilogue and a few other episodes from last season. It's in the rating but adult themes will be following. Please keep in mind that though I have written many fanfic stories, it has been many years since I've attempted any type of writing. All mistakes are mine and I get no money for perfection or screw-ups.

Intensity of Focus

By Kat

Stella

It was there in a look, a smile; the thing that let her know that she was seen, really seen. Not the things she tried to portray, or her efficiency, or even the emotions she let everyone see, but the real person, the parts she protected from everyone else. Stella could see it every time he looked at her. Things had changed between them this last year. They had been close and friends for as long as she cared to remember, but this last year things had changed. Greece had been a strong part of that, as had the birth of baby Lucy, and Jess's death. But Greece, and her part in defying him and his in following and protecting her had shifted it. There was a new awareness around them both, and yet things they were trying harder to shield from each other. She could see it now more than she ever had before and it jumped out at her. He had channeled his frustration into this case. But now that the case was complete, he had nowhere else he could place it and she could she his struggle as he tried to shove all that emotion back down again. It wasn't all for her, realistically she knew that, just as she knew Mac. But he had so few outlets, just his music really and she couldn't imagine he'd had much time lately. She knew she could change it, do something so spontaneous for both of them and pop the cork, but it would mean changing things even more. It would be casual between them; it couldn't be, because Mac was not casual. Mac was intense in everything he did. He threw all of himself into something because it was part of who he was. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of all that intensity focused on her.

"You ok Stella?

She jumped slightly and grinned as she realized she had been studying him while lost in her thoughts. "Yeah, long day, lot on my mind."

He nodded as he added another file to his box. "I hear you."

The silence slid back in as they both went back to boxing up the files. It was a comfortable silence, on of companionship and understanding. Stella's eyes focused on him once more as he lifted the full box and stacked it off in the corner. Deceptive strength, she thought, power, precision, all part of the make up of this incredibly complex man. Could she do it? Could she make the move they both seemed to need? Was she really seeing what she thought she saw in his eyes, or was it what she wanted to see? Did she really want to make that move? This is Mac, she thought, her eyes closing. He was worth the risk; their friendship was worth the risk. But where, and when?

It couldn't be at the office, no matter how exciting it might be. She glanced at the glass windows and shuddered again. It would definitely be fun, but she wasn't into exhibitionism really, and she seriously doubted he would go for it. This was their place of work and they had to be able to keep a professional façade running her or it could complicate the situation even more. There was too much of Peyton here as well. They didn't need that reminder. His place was out as well. The memories of Claire and Peyton resided there, and she didn't want the reminder or the competition, at least not for the first go around. Her place? She didn't take men to her place; but Mac fell outside the loop for that. He already knew where she lived. He had been there before many times, and seen the worst of her there. She wouldn't have a place to hide if things didn't work out the way she hoped. It didn't matter though, there would be no hiding, for either of them if they did this. Her place then, she just had to figure out how to get him there. She glanced over at him, noticing the files were almost clear. Putting a final file in her box, she dusted her hands and took a mental breath. "Looks like we are about done here. What do you say to some pizza and a beer?" That was safe, and something they had done before. At his long look, she continued, tucking her hands in her back pockets. "We are both off tomorrow, you could take me home, I could spring for the pizza, we could even rent a movie if you where up to it."

He gave her another long look then nodded. "Alright, sounds good. I could use the break." That he admitted it told her just how much he needed it. As he lifted the box, she watched the play of muscles under his shirt and another shiver ran down her spine.