I have a confession. I really don't like pranks. They're cruel, childish, and a complete waste of time.

Naturally, my muse clapped her hands with glee, cried "Oh, what fun!", and handed me this story.

"Bwahahahahaha!"

Roxanne sighed. "Yeah, Megs, I think we got it. You were amused."

Megamind sagged against her shoulder. "I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! Have a seat, my dear," he said, gesturing at the only other chair.

"No, you take it. I'd like to stand for a bit."

Music Man put his guitar back in its case and snapped it shut. "Wasn't that funny," he muttered, flinging himself into his reinforced dressing room chair. Grabbing a beer bottle from the cooler he leveled a scowl at his former nemesis. "If you're going to make that big a distraction, I'd rather you left."

"What? And miss all the other blunders? Not on your life." Megamind chuckled. As Music Man continued to frown, he snorted. "And now you're pouting. Pfft! You're such a baby. A musician who can't handle a few mishaps has no business being on stage. Besides, I'm sure only you could have heard my repressed laughter."

"I heard you," Bernard said, coming in. He levelled a glare at Metro City's Defender. "All without super hearing. And I was sitting up front. Every time a song ended, there you were, snickering in the back." He walked over to Music Man, putting a hand on his forearm. "You did great, honey. Despite the heckler." He leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

"Thanks, babe," Music Man said, but his smile faded as he turned a scowl on Megamind again.

Bernard ruffled his hair and went to the fridge. "Want a soda or a beer, Roxanne?"

"Thanks, already got one," she said, picking up her drink from the table.

"You could have offered her a seat, you know," Bernard said to Megamind, crossing his arms.

"I did, Mister Judgmental," said Megamind.

"I've been sitting a lot and I need to stretch my legs," said Roxanne. "I can share a seat with him if I need to." She gave Megamind a stern look. "I don't think he deserves it, though." She moved to lean against the wall. He snatched at her in an attempt to pull her into his lap, but she neatly sidestepped and got safely past.

Megamind settled back into the chair with a sigh and turned his attention back to Bernard. "You trying to make me look bad?" He raised an eyebrow at the sarcastic curator. "I wouldn't talk. A supportive partner wouldn't have delayed rushing back to his lover's dressing room to offer his congrats."

"I ran into some friends from work. Have to make small talk. I assume you've heard of it? It's called manners?" He raised an eyebrow in return.

The two men locked gazes. It was shaping up to be an eyebrow battle.

"I'm surprised you actually have friends. Music Mahn needs to be able to handle the odd heckler, though my occasional moments of mirth could hardly be classified as heckling."

"Occasional? You laughed through the whole set."

"I did not. I'm sure I quit somewhere around 'Rollin' on a Jetstream.'"

"Yeah, after I kicked you," said Roxanne.

"I don't see why I'm getting all the dirty looks,"said Megamind. "Minion laughed too."

Everyone in the room looked at Minion, causing a green blush to darken his cheeks. "Yes...but...I stopped. Right away," he said, darting a nervous look at Roxanne's stern face.

Megamind scoffed and gave him a sly look. "It all started with Music Mahn striding confidently onto the stage..."

"Megamind," Roxanne said through her teeth.

"...a glittering vision in white. His mighty voice booms out over the audience, and he doesn't even need a microphone, folks! The power of those lungs! The audience leans forward, rapt with attention..."

A corner of Minion's mouth began to curl up, but he quickly sucked in his toothy lower lip. His fins trembled.

"They start the welcoming applause," Megamind said, eyes gleaming with mischief. "Music Mahn gives them his patented perfect smile. 'Good evening, ladies and gents! Welcome to...aaagk!'" Megamind's hand flew to his throat, eyes bulging and tongue hanging out. "His cape..." he gasped.

Minion made a sound somewhere between a snort and a giggle, and clapped both robotic hands over his containment unit.

Megamind doubled over. "Gets caught against the backdrop. Pulls half of it down! Boom! Crash! First time in a cape, Music Mahn? Hahahahaha!"

Roxanne whacked at him but he anticipated the blow and got his hands up in time to ward her off.

Minion squeezed his eyes shut, stifled snorts making bubbles in the water.

"You know what, I think we're just going to get going," Roxanne said brightly to Music Man and Bernard. She went over to him and leaned over to give him a hug. "I'll give you a call later, Wayne, okay?"

Megamind got up, still chuckling. "Nice performance, Music Mahn. I expect tickets to the next show."

Bernard sighed as the door closed behind them. He stood behind the chair and rubbed Wayne's shoulders. "I think your show was great, honey. Don't let that bastard get to you."

"Hmph."

Bernard pursed his lips. "This isn't going to be like the time he beat you in the hot dog eating contest, is it? Because seriously, that wasn't pretty."

"There's no way he could've eaten that many," Music Man muttered. "He must have been sneaking them to the brainbots under the table. The way they zip around, and he..."

"Wayne, you're not letting him get to you, are you?" Bernard spoke sharply, cutting him off.

"Hm? Oh." Wayne tilted his head back to glance at him, then put one of his hands over Bernard's. "Nah, 'course not."

He stared at the closed door and took a thoughtful swig from the bottle.

Megamind whistled as they walked out to the parking lot. A brief giggle escaped Minion.

"Honestly, you were terrible!" Roxanne snapped.

Minion hunched his shoulders and cleared his throat. "Sorry, Ma'am. Won't happen again."

"You don't have to apologize, Minion," Roxanne said gently, putting a hand on his hairy forearm. "I know who started it." She stopped and turned to glare at Megamind.

"Oh, Mister Big Shot can handle it," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "He's going to need a thicker skin if he's going to make it in the music business. What's the big deal? I've razzed him before. It's what we do."

"This is different, Megs. This is one of his first big shows."

Megamind snorted. "There were one hundred and nineteen people, Roxanne. Including the wait staff," he said.

"Sweetie, you have no idea how important this is to him. You need to be more supportive."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Why?"

"Because he's your friend," she said, jabbing a finger at his chest.

"Now I've heard everything. Since when is Music Mahn my friend? Because he helped us defeat Tighten? Oh, that's right," he said, snapping his fingers and wrinkling his forehead as if he'd just remembered. "He didn't."

"He helped you by giving you his vote of confidence when no one else did."

"Well, I paid him back by building him an invisible truck."

"You charged him an arm and a leg for that," she said.

"It's not like he can't afford it."

"And he risked public ridicule by stepping forward and admitting he faked his death."

"Wow, a whole week's worth of public condemnation! And they practically fell over themselves to be first in line to forgive him. So impressive. How did he ever survive?" Megamind rolled his eyes.

"And he convinced the city to accept you as the new Defender."

Megamind crossed his arms over his chest and they continued on to the invisible car. "If it weren't for me, he and his beloved Bernard never would have met."

"Yeah, good thing you tricked me and dated me under a false identity," she said with a fierce smile. "And speaking of that, who was it that convinced Bernard to drop his lawsuit against you? Wayne even put his family's lawyers to work for you, getting all charges against you dropped, and, just by coming forward, got those murder charges dismissed." With each point she poked him in the chest.

Megamind opened his mouth, then closed it again. With a sigh he seized her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Is this one of those arguments that I'm going to lose?"

She gave him a sideways smile. "Depends on how you define losing." She pulled her hand free so she could wrap it around his waist, and he did the same. Their steps slowed as, shoulder to shoulder, they leaned towards each other for a kiss.

"Almost made it to the car," Minion muttered.

Roxanne pulled her head back slightly. "So when are you going to apologize to him?"

Megamind looked around. "Sorry, Minion. Hope we didn't embarrass you."

Roxanne shook his arm while he chuckled. "You know who I mean."

He winced. "Can't I do something easier? More heroic? Like catch a falling meteor before it obliterates the city?"

"Megamind." She rotated so they were face to face and draped her arms around his neck. No spiky mantle or high collar tonight. He wore a white button down shirt and a black vest.

He slid his hands low over her waist, just at the start of where her hips began to curve. Cocking one leg slightly, she leaned her belly against his and looked deep into his eyes. "He may not act like it, but he really wants your support. He needs to know he did the right thing, pursuing a new career. Your opinion means a lot."

Even if he didn't exactly retire from his last career the right way, she thought in the privacy of her head. But right now this was about Megamind's actions. She'd seen plenty of bickering between the two former nemeses, and had no real problem with it. They were on pretty good terms most of the time, and the constant banter between them was the usual, even comfortable, routine, but Wayne's musical ambition was a real source of anxiety for him, and it was one subject she hoped Megamind wouldn't needle him about.

He ran her hands up and down her back, and sighed hugely. He could feel the warmth of her body through the thin dress and she pressed against him in all the right spots. "All right, all right. It's not fair, you using your feminine wiles on me. I'll give him a sincere, heartfelt apology tomorrow."

"Why not now? He's right in there." She nodded back at the bar. It was a fairly large establishment, and had a small auditorium attached with seating for four hundred people.

"Not tonight. I can't be sincere right now."

Against her will, she felt her mouth tug itself into a smile. "And you'll be able to dredge up the required amount of sincerity after a good night of sleep?"

He smiled. "After a good night of something, anyway." They tilted their heads together again. Minion honked the horn.

"Could you wait until we get home? Before you get started?" Minion called, sitting behind the wheel.

Roxanne laughed. "That fish," Megamind muttered as they walked to the car with their arms wrapped around each other, "is getting too big for his bowl."

The next morning found them gathered in the kitchen in the Lair. They'd tried calling it the Good Lair for a while, then Formerly Evil Lair, then just settled on the Lair.

Roxanne spat out her coffee. Megamind looked up from where he was dumping sugar onto his cornflakes. "What's wrong?"

"This coffee," she said in a strangled voice. She got up to get a glass of water. She looked up just as Megamind put his spoon in his mouth. "Megs, wait, I think..."

"Aaaagh!" He choked, gagged, and spat the cornflakes back into the bowl. "What in the...salt! Minion!"

Minion, who was putting dishes away, turned in his bowl. "What is it?"

"You put salt in the sugar bowl!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Oh, then I guess I imagined getting a mouthful of sea shells!"

Minion hurried over to the cupboard. "I couldn't have. How..." Bewildered, he began shoving items aside.

"It was an accident, Megamind," Roxanne said, rinsing out her cup. She went over to the coffee pot for a refill. "Don't make a big deal out of it." It was a little surprising, but she supposed Minion had gotten distracted while he was restocking the kitchen. Minion had a lot to keep track of in the Lair, in her opinion, even with the brainbots's help. She wouldn't have even mentioned it to Minion herself, but of course now Megamind would turn the whole situation into a lecture.

She looked at the clock. "I have to get going." Minion still stood in bewilderment in front of the cupboard, blocking her. "Um, Minion, could you...?" she said, peering around him and gesturing at the cupboard with a spoon.

"Oh! Of course, Miss Ritchi. Sorry." Minion grabbed the bag of sugar and held it out to her. She quickly scooped some into the coffee in her travel cup, then went over to Megamind to plant a good-bye kiss on him.

"Remember that phone call," she said.

"I suppose," he muttered. She smiled and hurried to her car, two of her guardian brainbots, Pinky and Blinky, following.

Minion looked at the twenty-pound bag of sugar and the much smaller salt container. "I don't see how I could have mixed them up."

"You just weren't paying attention," Megamind grumbled, pouring the ruined cereal into the garbage disposal.

Minion took the used coffee grounds over to the trash, but before he dropped them in, he looked down and stopped short. "Sir?"

"What did you find?" he asked, walking over to take a look.

"There's sugar in here. A lot."

Megamind frowned. Sure enough, sugar coated the discarded kitchen debris, glittering in the light.

They glanced at each other.

"Someone dumped out the sugar bowl," Megamind said in an ominous voice.

"Yeah. Someone."

"Are you thinking of the same someone that I'm thinking of, Minion?"

"I think so, Sir."

"A certain super-powered mediocre musician, perhaps?"

"Or it might have been one of the brainbots, Sir."

"Unlikely, but possible. Only one way to find out. Replay the security footage from last night, Minion."

What was really insulting was that Wayne actually turned to one of the cameras and smirked before disappearing in a flash of super speed.

"He did not just do that," Megamind said in a quiet, ee-vil voice.

"He did, Sir." Minion waved his fins indignantly.

"I think, Minion," he said, steepling his fingers in front of his chest. "That what we have here is a declaration of war."