I suppose this could be considered an 'alternative ending' of sorts to my other story, 'The Long Road Home.' Same character, same basic events until about chapter 4 of that, I guess, but I figured I'd make it separate as it is stand-alone. Don't be deterred. Just something I wanted to do.
I never actually make Leliana Divine in my runs. The very idea of it breaks my heart too much, when thinking about what it means for her and the Warden. I figure she deserves some peace and quiet. But...it is an intriguing thing to think about. So here I am, I guess.
"...desires of the flesh are earthly, and prone to manipulation and selfishness. Do you swear to bear the love of the Maker in your heart, and only the Maker? Spread only the love of the Maker?"
"I..." Leliana faltered for a moment, her words getting caught in her throat. She was in the center of the Grand Cathedral, surrounded by a sea of mothers, sisters and brothers, all staring at her exactingly. People had been looking at her differently ever since the news had reached her, that she was to be Justinia's successor. Even after she'd spent weeks milling over the prospect in her head, that development still took her by surprise. Her. The Divine. A former bard, a lay sister teetering on irrelevance in a backwater village, who just happened to know the last Divine well. Ten years ago, she would have laughed at anyone who even suggested this idea. More than ten years ago...she probably would have laughed hysterically.
Yet, here she was.
Part of her had wanted it. She knew the Chantry needed change. Non-humans were turned away at their doors, for nothing more than prejudice by the backward people the Chantry claimed to be free of. Mages were locked in gilded cages, torn from their families, some suffered abuses...all because they could be dangerous. Those with the gall to have different beliefs were censured and shunned. She'd seen these injustices time and time again, for her whole life, but only now would she be able to change them. She could bring the Chantry into a new age, one defined by tolerance and acceptance, one lead by inspiration and not dictation.
But for all the good she wanted to do, for all she knew she could change...there was one problem that had been tearing her mind apart every single day since she'd learned she could be Divine.
Her Grey Warden. Aerya.
The Dalish woman's tattooed face flashed through her mind constantly. Her lover was out there, far to the west, finding a way to prevent her early death for her. It had been five years of agonizing separation, but Aerya had promised that fateful night that she would return, and that nothing would keep them apart ever again. Not the Calling, not anything.
And she had believed her. That hope had been what had kept her going for the past years. For a while, it had been all that had stood between her, and the encroaching darkness she felt pulling at her mind, tempting her with a dark path. The thought that her Warden love would return to her, and then everything would be alright had always been an anchor of sorts. That she'd feel the elven woman's comforting arms around her, and suddenly the world would make sense again.
Now...she would return, and find this. Leliana had no intention of letting this stand between them - she'd change the rules if need be, tear down every barrier that would prevent them from staying together...but even if she did, it was yet another obstacle being thrown up between them. Her role as Justinia's Left Hand had been enough to drive a wall between the two. Now...she was the Divine. If the Left Hand had been enough to cause a rift, what would that mean?
Their love had weathered much. The Archdemon hadn't been enough to sunder it. After that, they'd thought they'd be together forever, uninterrupted. A corrupted god couldn't keep them apart, what else could compare? For a few years...the two of them were truly happy. The happiest Leliana had ever been in her entire life; the suffering she had been through over the years, the betrayal, the loneliness...it all seemed to have lead to those stolen days together. It was all worth it, for the time they shared alone.
Then both of their worlds seemed to change. As Sister Nightingale, things were never quite the same between them; the love was always there, the affection, the passion...but something was missing. The trust, perhaps. The confidence. Before, she felt like she could tell her lover anything, and she would always have words of comfort or reassurance. She would always have advice to give, always have a shoulder to lean on when she felt hurt, or lost. She was never afraid to say anything to her - but as Justinia's Left Hand...there were things she didn't want to tell her. Aerya had always gazed at her, with those big, beautiful green eyes...and she saw something in her that she herself didn't sometimes. A passionate heart, a kind soul, faith. She saw the best in her, and more often than not, she made her believe it was true. She couldn't bear to tell her the things she had done as Left Hand, the wrongs, the habits she had fallen back into...she couldn't bear to see her lover hurt. To realize that everything she'd seen in her was gone.
What Leliana wanted most, what she had always wanted most, was to start over. To drop everything, let no more secrets go between them, take a breath...and make things just like they were before. If things had happened differently, perhaps that could have been possible. But no longer.
She was the Divine. The head of the Chantry, the most powerful woman in Thedas.
And for all her fame, for all the people who hailed her as a hero...Aerya was a Dalish elf. A heathen, to some. Staying with her could bring even more trouble her way than she was already bound to deal with. The wise thing to do would be to put duty first. To grit through the pain, and take the blow for the good of Thedas. She was sure many Divines in the past had been forced to make that sacrifice.
But she couldn't. She wouldn't. The very thought shattered her heart into a million tiny fragments, making her fight to maintain composure in front of the entire chamber. There was no way she would let Aerya go after they'd been through so much, suffered so much. She would not let her love return only to have her heart broken.
Thus, she found herself hesitant as the Mother looming over her recited the final vow. The most difficult one. All she needed to say were two words, but her vocal chords were suddenly unresponsive. She saw the brownish-blonde haired woman looking back at her as she left out the door, rain drenching her, mixing with the tears making her green eyes shine, as she looked back for one final goodbye. She heard her soft voice whisper that she loved her, forever, and always.
And then she heard the uncomfortable silence as the assembled clergy's eyes bore into her questioningly.
She swallowed. "I..." Leliana closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want them to see the tears welling up. "I do."
Despite her previous thoughts, her mind then flashed to Aerya turning away, and walking out the door.
Several months later, Divine Victoria sat upon the Sunburst Throne, deep in thought.
She'd just finished up with a rather tiresome session of various people from all over Thedas approaching her and putting forth their complaints. Usually, they were completely petty concerns. Most of them looked at her with a loaded glare hidden behind their 'reverent' expression. Her reforms had angered a great many people across Thedas, particularly in Orlais, where most of their very livelihood was based upon the injustices she was trying to change. She'd managed to talk down most of them, for now...but she felt like she was building a wooden fence to stop stampeding brontos. Her peace was thin, tenuous at best, and she went to sleep every single night feeling like she was drowning - she'd never been able to see herself as Divine beforehand...and perhaps this was why. She rapidly felt like she was being swept away by the tide, fighting to keep her head above it as the problems of the world massed together on top of her.
This time however, as she rose from the throne at the end of the day, and made her way to her quarters, the problems of the world were not her concern.
Word had arrived from the west that the Hero of Ferelden had been spotted travelling. The Lost Warden, who's fate had been basis for speculation for years on end. Her heart had skipped a beat when the murmurs had come to her. She was one of the first the rumors had reached - it was well known that she had been the Warden's lover, and of course there were some whispers among the Orlesian nobility that she hadn't let her elven paramour go. That despite her vows, she had still been seeing her in secret all along, with the dirty secret only slipping up now. It was precisely the scandalous rumor Orlesians acted repulsed by in public, but silently loved.
They were right about one thing, she supposed. She hadn't let her go. The struggles of balancing the whole world on her shoulders hadn't been nearly enough to flush the pained thoughts from her mind. It was likely nothing would ever be able to.
Sighing, she closed the door to her room behind her, nonchalantly pulling off the tall red hat that rested atop her head, her orange hair flailing out wildly in all directions from being trapped in there all day. She undid the few straps and buckles that held it in place, and soon her heavy robes were on the floor as well, spread out across the ground as if it were a towel, rather than an obscenely expensive bit of attire. She heard some servants knocking on the door to assist her, but she shooed them away.
Leliana stood there dressed only in her smallclothes for a moment, feeling the cool air reach her from the single window that was propped open. As she listened to the dying flurry emanating from the city below, rapidly dissipating as the day came to a close, she found her hand absent-mindedly making its way up to her chest. A Dalish amulet hung there, glowing a faint purple color to the touch, lighting up the halla carvings that climbed up the smooth pendant. She held it tightly to her breast, closing her eyes and sighing as she felt it vibrate slightly beneath her. It had been Aerya's father's amulet, before he died and passed it on to the daughter he never got to meet.
That daughter had then passed it on to her, before she'd left for her Calling. Or, more accurately, it had been what she'd left as a paperweight to hold her final heartfelt letter in place, as she left in the middle of the night, not willing to risk changing her mind. She remembered waking up that morning, running her hands along the spot she expected Aerya's soft body to be...only to find this. Tears in her eyes, she'd kept the amulet close ever since, rarely ever taking it off - even after Aerya had returned one night, months later, exhausted and presenting her with a plan to cure herself of the taint forever.
What had been one last memento of her great love had turned into a...good luck charm of sorts, after that. Something to bring comfort where none could be found. A little bit of hope bundled into a tiny pendant of ironbark.
She's still out there. She's alright. She thought to herself, her lips curling into a smile briefly, before being quickly flushed away by doubt. But...how is she going to take this?
Aerya Mahariel felt a growing sense of uncertainty as she stared up at the Grand Cathedral, its massive spires looming over her, the Chant echoing through each and every door and window. She'd been here on quite a few occasions in the past; after Leliana had become Left Hand, the Dalish woman would often arrive in Val Royeaux without even sending word of her arrival forward, sneaking into the former bard's chambers in an attempt to sweep her off of her feet as best she could manage. She'd never succeeded in that; no matter how much she tried, Aerya couldn't out-sneak the master. The redhead had always turned around, a mischievous smirk on her face, and told her 'Better luck next time.' before embracing her warmly.
On occasion, they had been separated for months at a time when she'd been Left Hand. It had been hard on them both, and they'd treasured each and every moment they'd managed to spend together.
Now it had been five years of separation. Five long, bitter, and lonely years. Those months seemed like nothing now.
And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that this reunion was going to be much less blissful than the last ones.
She'd heard what had happened. It would be hard not to; despite the fact that it had come to pass nearly eight months ago now, it was still the talk of Thedas. The Left Hand of the Divine had become Justinia's successor, named Divine Victoria I, and was already proving herself to be a revolutionary. Elves were allowed in the upper echelons of the Chantry now, among other things. Elves. She should be happy that her people's lot was improving. Leliana had made that possible, perhaps partly due to her influence. The thought should have filled her with hope and pride.
But she knew that would come at a horrible cost.
She made her way through the front gates, looking up at the massive, painted ceiling in awe as she usually did. She wasn't an Andrastian; she'd grown more open minded to its beliefs during her time in the human world, perhaps, but she most certainly wasn't a believer. She respected Leliana's faith deeply; in fact, she had always admired her for it. But she was never able to follow that example herself. She hadn't seen her clan for years on end, hadn't revered her own gods or asked anything of them for ages now...but she was still Dalish in her heart.
Despite that, she could never help but feel slightly reverent about something when she entered the massive cathedral. The building was said to be the crown jewel of Orlais, perhaps all of Thedas - and she believed it. She'd still been getting used to human buildings in the first place when she'd stepped foot in here for the first time - she distinctly remembered her mouth hanging wide open as Leliana looked on, grinning like a madwoman as her lover wandered about like a bewildered child.
The awe was much shorter lived this time, however. The resounding sadness building up in her gut washed it away, as she slowly pushed open the massive double-doors to the Sunburst chamber, the room where the Divine herself was usually found. The cathedral had been quieter than usual, certainly quieter than it should have been at a mere five o'clock, so Aerya assumed the Divine had gotten wind of her arrival and cleared the building accordingly. She almost wasn't sure why she'd bothered.
Her suspicions were correct. Stepping into the grand hall, she saw her. Flanked on either side by massive stained-glass windows, dressed in an elegant gold-embroidered red, sat Leliana. She was the picturesque Divine; regal, kind, and inspiring, even as her posture betrayed her impatience.
She was the most beautiful sight Aerya had ever set eyes upon. Her blue eyes sparkled in the seemingly-holy light, a few stray locks of her fiery orange hair dangling out of the tall hat resting atop her head, and she brushed them out of her eyes absent-mindedly. She was still in good shape, as expected, the thick robes not weighing down her figure at all as she carried herself with an inherent elegance and grace. She supposed she probably looked completely dull and unremarkable in contrast, standing before the ethereal woman perched on the throne - her brownish-blonde locks were shaggy and disheveled, no matter how nice she'd tried to make it look. A few new scars snaked down the left side of her face, joining the deep one gorged in her cheek that she'd had since she was a child, before she even had the vallaslin covering her forehead, cheeks, nose and chin. The symbol of the Halla mother. Her emerald eyes were bordered with thin lines from stress, creeping out through her unusually pale skin at times, which was, under normal circumstances, more olive in tone. She imagined she looked the mirror opposite of the woman before her now. The Divine and the Dalish savage.
But despite the beauty she now bore witness to, all she felt was resignation. As if she hadn't been quite willing to believe she'd heard the truth until then.
The Divine caught sight of her quickly, and she froze. Their gazes met, blue orbs meeting green, and for a moment they were simply entranced. The hall quiet enough to hear a pin drop, interrupted only by the occasional deep inhale.
"Aerya..." Leliana finally said, slowly rising to her feet. The elf wanted to rush forward, take her in her arms and kiss her like she never had before. She wanted to feel her soft lips on her own, hold her close, and breathe in her presence. She wanted to feel her body pushed up against hers, and never let go of her. The need to touch her lover for the first time in years threatened to overwhelm everything, but something stopped her.
She couldn't. She couldn't even speak.
"Is...is it done? The Calling, the..."
Aerya nodded slowly.
Smiling widely, Leliana made her way down the steps, opening her arms with the intent to wrap Aerya up in them...but she faltered when she saw the Dalish woman step back. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she looked up at her, twinkling slightly with the light flooding into the chamber.
"Aerya, it's alright, no one's -"
"We can't." Aerya whimpered, stepping back further. She felt crushed. Broken. Five years of desperately searching for a way to cure her Calling, in hopes she could be with Leliana forever...only to find this. It had all been for nothing. The pain, frustration and loneliness...had all been for nothing. Fate had seen fit to take even Leliana from her. "We...you're -"
Tears were trickling down Leliana's cheeks now too, as she tried in vain to approach the elven woman, who seemed completely and utterly resigned. "This-this doesn't have to change anything, Aerya." She sputtered. "I can-"
"You're the Divine." Aerya said, as firmly as she could through the pain that racked her. "I'm..."
She looked at her feet.
"I can change the rules, we don't have to -"
"I won't make you do that." Aerya stated, trying in vain to maintain composure. "I can't. This...this is what you are now. There's no place for me here."
"Aerya, please -"
"Don't." She snapped, closing her eyes, her expression pained. "This...you have to..."
"I don't!"
The elf opened her eyes, gazing up at her again with her glistening green orbs. Leliana looked just as devastated as she did, long lines of tears trailing their way down her face.
"I'm an elf." She stuttered. "And...a Dalish elf at that. A heathen. The changes you're making, the things you're doing...they're dangerous enough already. If...if they found out about me..."
Leliana tried to take her hands into hers, to lift them up and brush her cheek, but Aerya lurched away yet again.
"Leliana!" She cried, her voice shaky and strained. "I will not give those who would oppose you another reason to target you. If...if the world found out we were still involved, and it came back to you..."
"It won't, I'll make sure -"
"You don't know that!" She sobbed. "I would never forgive myself. I will not make you forsake your duty on my behalf."
"Aerya, please." Leliana begged. "I can't lose you."
The elven woman gazed at her for a moment, and softened. She wanted to give in, Creators, she did. She wanted to say to the Void with the dangers, and leap into her arms and never leave them. She loved her so much - no matter what she did here, right now, she knew she always would. She knew wherever she went, she'd carry that with her, and she'd likely never be able to move on. But as she watched the Divine fall to her knees; this regal, imposing woman, with tears running down her face as she looked up at her, pleading...she backed away.
"I'm...I'm sorry." She whimpered. "In another life. The one we wanted."
With that, she turned and made her way out the door.
"Have you changed your mind, about Leliana and me?" Aerya asked cautiously, as she made her way over to where Wynne was setting up her tent. The old mage had lectured her a few weeks ago, warned her of the great potential for tragedy that hovered over them. She hadn't wanted to see either of them hurt. She'd known she meant well, but she'd brushed her off and not spoken a single word to her for weeks since then. Until now, that is.
The silver-haired woman looked over at her, seeming surprised by the out of the blue nature of the question. After a moment, she sighed.
"I have watched you for a time, and...perhaps I was wrong. There seems to be something special between the two of you." The old woman smiled slightly as she said it. "I think she feels she's truly found her place with you, that after all her wanderings...she's finally home."
Aerya nodded, smiling softly. "I feel the same way."
"I think I was too harsh in my judgement before, and...I am truly sorry."
"You just wanted the best for both of us." Aerya said. "I know that."
"What you have may not last forever. Death and duty may part you. But love's worthiness is not diminished because of that. I should have realized this before."
Aerya nodded slowly.
"Instead, you learn to cherish every precious moment you spend together, knowing it may be the last." She continued warmly. "And for those of us watching...well, it brings warmth to these old bones to see something so beautiful can be found in the midst of chaos and strife."
Aerya looked up at her, smiling. "Thanks, Wynne."
"Now, run along." She insisted, patting her on the shoulder. "Tell her I said so."
She made her way over to where Leliana was sitting on a tree stump, fletching an arrow and humming under her breath. Alistair tended his stew at the fire nearby, as Oghren looked on, occasionally barking at the younger Warden to hurry up as his stomach growled. Leliana looked up at her as she approached, smiling and putting down the arrow.
"Hey, you." She said, smiling wider as the smaller woman settled down on her lap. She rested her head on her shoulder, snuggling in close and savoring her presence.
"Hey." Aerya replied warmly. They'd been together for some time now, almost eight months, but many of the others in their little travelling party commented that they spoke and acted with the familiarity of a couple that had been together for years. Wynne was right about that, for certain - here, pushed up close and bundled up in each others' arms, the warmth of the campfire and each other washing over them...they were both at home.
"Did Wynne say anything?" Leliana asked, brushing her hair tenderly. "You hadn't spoken to her for days before that."
Aerya smiled, before pushing off of Leliana's shoulder gently and looking her in the eyes. She planted a kiss on her nose before shifting up. "Let's get out of here." An impish grin began to creep up on her face as she said it.
Leliana raised an eyebrow as Aerya rose to her feet, taking her lover by the hands and guiding her up as well. Giving her a quick peck on the cheek, they made their way out of the camp and into the woods, hand in hand.
"Don't be gone too long!" Alistair called after them. "This should be ready in...nevermind, that'll be longer than I thought..."
Leliana and Aerya giggled, and continued on their way. They walked in silence for a while, Aerya guiding her redheaded lover to a small clearing. It was quiet; the day was coming to an end, the last remnants of the sun peaking through the trees and giving the grassy spot a faint, heavily shadowed light. A few birds were still singing, crickets were beginning to chirp...but otherwise, it was blissfully secluded.
"You seemed to know exactly where you were going." Leliana commented with a smile.
"No, I'm just extremely adept at the art of not looking like I'm lost." Aerya replied, smirking.
Leliana giggled, as they settled down side-by-side. Aerya propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Leliana affectionately as she lay on her back. "Wynne said she was sorry."
"I knew she'd come around."
"She wanted the best for us." Aerya sighed, running a finger back and forth along her lover's sternum. "She said 'what we have may not last forever, that death and duty may part us, but that we learn to cherish every precious moment we spend together.'"
Leliana smiled. "Oh? Is that what you brought me out here for? For some cherishing of precious moments?"
"Among other things." Aerya laughed, leaning in to kiss her. Their lips met tenderly at first, before quickly escalating into raw desire, feeling Leliana's tongue swiping out to run across her lip before fervently clashing with her own.
"I love you." She whispered under her breath, not even giving Leliana time to respond as her lips crashed into her's yet again. She straddled the bard's waist as she continued down, planting warm kisses along her neck and jaw, small, passioned breaths escaping from Leliana's now unoccupied lips. Their forms were pressed firmly together, feeling the heat emanating from their bodies, rapidly making their thin under-armor feel like heavy fur coats even against the cool evening air. Leliana evidently felt it too, as she ran her hands underneath it, sliding the thin fabric up and digging her fingers into Aerya's back as the elven woman continued showering her neck in warm affection.
She stopped her feverish kissing for a moment to sit up, sliding the undershirt over her head fully. She intended to lean over again and continue on her way down, but she was quickly interrupted by Leliana sitting up and wrapping an arm possessively around her. She felt Leliana's hands ran up her back, holding her firmly in place as her attention turned to her now-exposed breasts. Aerya moaned softly as she felt her lover tenderly worship her with her mouth, burying her hands in the redhead's hair and pulling her closer as her intoxicating kisses continued. Her hips rolled needily against Leliana's as the bard's mouth gently caressed her breasts, rapidly gaining a more hungry pace. Unable to take it anymore, she pushed down, laying Leliana on her back again, the wet heat of their lips coming together once again as Aerya's hand wandered down to the bard's belt buckle, roughly and greedily struggling with it until it was off.
The bard began to pant in her ear as the elf slid her hand through her leather leggings, bypassing her undergarments and down to her core, feeling the -
Aerya's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden barrage of knocks on her door.
She'd stormed out of the Grand Cathedral without a word a couple of hours ago, taking up residence in a tiny inn to collect her thoughts. Somewhere quiet, undisturbed, where she could slink away and not be bothered for a few days. She'd stomped into the room, thrown her sheathed swords and travelling cloak to the floor violently, fuming...and then she'd broken down into tears. Incessant, sloppy tears, as her body heaved and she clung to the window frame, for what had felt like hours. She was sure she woke up the other denizens of the small inn, but she couldn't be bothered. She felt unspeakably hollow. The wretched taint that had festered in her bones had been taken from her body...and now it felt like everything else had gone with it.
Her cheeks still red, she rose to her feet slowly. Slipping a dagger from her belt, she opened the wooden door gingerly, peering through the crack to see a hooded figure standing on the other end.
"Fuck off." Aerya hissed, making to shut the door. She had barely even examined the figure to see who it might be before doing so, she didn't care who this was or what they wanted. If it was a complaint about her noise, they could sit and spin for all she cared. They stopped the door with their foot as it slammed shut, however, and Aerya made to spew more threats before she saw the figure lower their hood.
Leliana. Of course it was Leliana. She was now dressed in a simple travelling cloak rather than robes, but even then...Aerya thought she looked just as gorgeous as she had on the throne. Somehow, that made it hurt even more.
"Aerya." She pleaded, holding the door open. "Please."
"Leliana..." She whimpered, weakening her grip at the very sight of her. "Don't...don't make this harder than it needs to be..."
"I should be telling you that!" Leliana snapped, pushing the door open and making her way into the small room. Aerya couldn't muster up the will to resist. She merely looked up at her weakly, tears forming in her eyes once again.
"Leli...I..." Aerya whimpered. She seemed like a spent, caged animal, pushed up against a wall but resigned to her fate. She struggled to even formulate words. "You took vows. Don't...don't..."
Without another word, Leliana stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around the limp elven woman. She pulled her close, burying her face in the top of her head, and breathed deeply. Aerya seemed unresponsive for a moment, still limp in her arms...but when strength seemed to flow back into her body, she made no attempt to push away.
"It's alright." Leliana breathed, slightly muffled by the Warden's thick hair. She loosened her grip ever so slightly, and lifted up the Dalish woman's head by the chin to look up at her. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, emotion bubbling up...and then she leaned in, and kissed her.
Aerya was still weak and unmoving as Leliana's lips met her own, feeling their warmth fill her to the brim, as if the very sensation was enough to heal any ailment, any uncertainty.
"The Chantry will -" Aerya stammered, trying to push away after a moment. "This is too dangerous, they'll -"
"I don't care." Leliana said firmly, and pulled her in again. Soon, the elf's stillness ended, and she gave in, kissing her back. Slowly at first, but quickly giving into her fully. Before long, she was kissing her back with vigor, both of their hands touching each other's bodies wherever they could reach. Her mind screamed no, that she shouldn't. That this was too dangerous, and she should end it.
But by the Creators, she wanted her so much it hurt.
"I don't care what oaths I'm breaking, I don't care if it's sacrilege." Leliana continued, firmly. "I don't care if the Maker strikes me down right now, and curses my name. All I care about is you."
"Leliana..." She breathed, their foreheads resting together, their lips still inches apart. Her voice was soft and breathless again, but not by sadness anymore - now by pure, unsatiated need. "Please..."
Divine Victoria - was that her name now? Elgar'nan, that sounded odd - Leliana smiled, pressing their lips together once again as she rested her hands on the shorter woman's waist, guiding her backwards. Aerya wrapped an arm around her neck, clinging to her possessively as she lifted her off her feet and set her down on the small cot. Her hands wandered up and down the Warden, touching her everywhere she could, eliciting a sharp exhale from her each time as she bubbled with passion, wrapping her legs around her waist as if to attach her body to her own. She felt Leliana's soft fingertips snake under her shirt and tantalize her skin, felt her lips trailing down her body, felt her warm breath heating up every place it touched with even more burning need...
Despite the blinding passion Leliana was obviously feeling, her every touch, kiss, and caress was soft and gentle, always affectionate. The love and relief she was evidently feeling was made readily apparent with each expression, each time she looked at her with those beautiful blue eyes, every motion with the weight of five years apart behind it. Her hands exploring her now-loosely clothed body left a trail of fire on her skin, and the warm affection filled her up with enough desire that words could not possibly convey it.
"Leliana, I..." She moaned, her hips rocking against Leliana's midsection, attempting to express with her body what her words could not. "I need you to..."
"I know." Leliana purred. She wandered up her lover's body again with her mouth, her lips eventually finding her's again. A hand ran up and down Aerya's figure as she kissed her, teasing her with soft touches that caused an overwhelming onslaught of tingling sensations, making her bite her lip as she arced her back and flung her head back.
Smirking, Leliana pushed herself further up onto the cot where Aerya lay, rising up onto her knees with the elven woman between them. She threw her cloak off, then the coat, then the undershirt, piling them all up haphazardly on the floor. She reached up as the former bard leaned overtop of her, kneading her breasts, running her hands along the pink, aroused nubs, rewarding her a stifled moan from Leliana. The redhead didn't give her much time to do so, however, as she reached down and looped her fingers under Aerya's own thin shirt, slowly and agonizingly curling it up and planting kisses along her exposed navel as she went. Aerya shifted, pleading for her to continue wordlessly, something which gave Leliana no small amount of pleasure as she giggled softly, before lifting the remaining stretches of fabric over the elf's head.
Aerya pushed her back up further, gluttonously begging her lover for more. She obliged, in a way, enticingly kissing her on the neck, between her breasts...but always hovering tantalizingly over them before her lips could clamp down on their true target. Aerya panted heavily, her chest heaving, her hand clutching Leliana's bare back while the other trailed up and down in desperation...something, anything, to make her continue. She squirmed, feeling her own wetness trickling down her thighs beneath her thick leather leggings that clung to her still, letting out an audible sigh of relief as the suspense ended, and Leliana finally bent down and placed her mouth on her breasts, her lips and swirling tongue threatening to drown her in a sweeping wave of raw, burning pleasure.
After a long couple of seconds, minutes, she couldn't keep track - Leliana shifted up to tenderly meet her lips again, the elven woman still drowning in ecstasy as their tongues lashed together in an entrancing dance. She pushed back after a moment, reaching down to her agape lover's belt, quickly and skillfully undoing it and sliding it off. The black leather pants soon followed, Leliana tossing them aside with the beginnings of a feline-sort of grin as she caught sight of the elf's simple, drenched underthings. She raised an eyebrow as she leaned down to tug them off, slowly at first, taking moments to glance up at Aerya as she looked down at her with the same pleading expression on her face, before pulling them down her legs and tossing them aside. She slipped off her own loose trousers as well, giving the elf sprawled out in front of her a brief glance of her nude form in the dim candlelight, and let them fall off by themselves as she crawled forward.
Aerya heaved, forcing her now completely naked body up towards her in a primal sense of desire, the ache that had been rapidly building up for what seemed like an eternity on the verge of driving her overboard. Leliana smiled, placing a firm hand on her rump, holding her in place and cradling her there as she planted kisses around the outskirts of her core. The other hand trailed up her inner thigh and left a long line of goosebumps as it went...before it found its destination, and Aerya threw her head back in pure euphoric bliss as Leliana slid inside of her. Her chest heaved as her lover's hand worked, encapsulated in her wetness, making her curl her toes and clutch the sheets as Leliana's lips joined her masterful fingers in pleasuring her aching sex. There was an inherent familiarity with each deft stroke and movement of her warm tongue, as if they had only been apart for a fortnight. In truth, it had been five long, painful and lonely years of separation...but just like that, she felt every single one of those years dissolve with Leliana's every touch.
The redhead soon shifted and crawled forward, her hand never leaving Aerya's needing folds, and kissed her all over as she went. Aerya struggled to keep her body steady as she simultaneously kissed her and pleasured the aching flesh below, their lips parting every few moments as Aerya breathed heavily. She felt the heat radiating from her as she cried out in her ear, Leliana's breasts pushing up against her, her waist grinding up against her thigh while her free hand held the back of her head possessively, occasionally leaning in and kissing her neck...all of it melded together to border on sensory overload.
They moved in unison for a few moments, an unrehearsed but masterfully performed dance, and before Aerya knew it she felt her whole body tensing, one simple movement all that was needed to send her careening over the edge. Leliana did the last step with a soft exhale, one precise move with her middle finger to where she was most sensitive...and next thing she knew, her whole body spasmed as she jerked up, feeling herself clamp around Leliana's fingers as she buried herself into her sweat-dampened neck, her warm breath serving only to finish her off even further. Something unintelligible made its way out of her lips, perhaps Elvish words, and then she slowly went limp. The lingering tensions in her body released gradually as she breathed, Leliana still gently kissing her neck and easing her down.
"Leli-" She panted, closing her eyes as the aftershocks still clouded her mind. "Leliana, I..."
The Divine shifted up and kissed her on the lips as she stuttered. "Feeling better about this now?"
"Hmmm..." Aerya nodded slowly, groaning with the effort of even forming words through her post-lovemaking daze. "Any more of that, and you might just convert me to Andrastianism, your holiness."
"Good." She gave her a quick peck again, giggling softly. "I don't care about oaths, or tradition, or the danger. I will never let anything take you from me, I swear it."
Aerya smiled, her breathing steadying. "I...I want to believe you."
Leliana buried her head in the crook of her neck, wrapping her arms around her and pulling in close. "We'll make it work. I promise."
There was a momentary silence, the sound of their still-heavy breathing the only thing breaking it. "I love you, ma vhenan."
"I love you too." Leliana purred, smiling and giving her a kiss on the shoulder. "Those years apart...that was probably the most difficult time of my life. We're not going through that again; I don't care who I have to anger to make sure of it."
She buried her face into her neck again, inhaling as her hips pressed against her and their legs intertwined, and breathed deeply. Aerya didn't respond, just closed her eyes and, despite herself, smiled as she felt her lover's warm embrace. Before she knew it, she had drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Leliana's eyes fluttered open, as the first beams of light began to leak through the room's single window.
Her head had moved from Aerya's shoulder down to her chest, and she came to with the sound of her steady heartbeat in her ears. Smiling, she gently lifted herself off her lover's steadily rising bosom, careful not to disturb her in the slightest. The elf's countenance wasn't quite as peaceful as she'd expected from her relaxed breathing; there was strain etched into her sleeping expression, her mouth playing ever so slightly at a frown. There were still faint lines under her eyes from exhaustion, even now, and her skin, usually a darker olive shade, remained unusually pale. She was thinner, too - her previously svelte yet toned figure replaced by something unusually waifish, to the point where Leliana had even seen each of her ribs poking through during their...exertions the previous night. She didn't look like she was free of the taint. All things considered, she'd looked healthier with the taint. Worry hit her like a wave; for her lover's health, sanity, and general well-being...but the feeling was alleviated somewhat when she acknowledged the one thing that was unchanged. Her arm, still wrapped around her back, holding her close lovingly and protectively. It had always been something that had made Leliana's heart soar each time, and it still had the same effect after all these years. Wrapped in her arms, she felt safe, protected, loved; like here, soaking up her warm presence with their bodies pressed close, none of the problems that hounded her had any power over her.
As Divine Victoria...that meant more than Aerya, still asleep and unaware, could possibly know.
Maker, she was glad she hadn't lost her.
She remembered the battle of Denerim, in the final moments of the Blight, all those years ago. Aerya - bloodied, beaten and barely standing - had just slain the Archdemon with the last scraps of strength remaining with her...and after the smoke from the blindingly white explosion had cleared, there had been nothing but silence. Leliana had staggered over to where the Archdemon had been before the blast had taken it, ignoring the pain from her broken ribs, favoring one leg as she frantically searched...until she'd found her. Limp, bleeding from a gaping wound on her forehead that flowed profusely down her face, caking into her already grime-filled hair. Her armor had been charred and blackened, sections of it looking like it would turn to ash at any moment as she collected her limp form in her arms, pulling her close as tears spilled freely from her eyes. There had been no response as she'd held her, the elven woman's formerly tied back hair now spilling out freely and dragging against the blood-stained floor as her head fell back, limp.
She'd told her about the ritual Alistair had performed. She'd been told it would spare her from death. But there she was. Killed not by the Archdemon's soul, but like any other soldier on the field. There had been a glimmer of hope when she'd told her, but just like that, it had been snuffed out as she watched the woman she loved more than anything, the only one who could take any pain away, slip between her fingers like sand. In that moment, she'd been sure her love was going to die, and the thing she cared about most was about to be ripped away from her. Like it had so many times in Leliana's life.
It had felt just like that, seeing Aerya push her way out the door and out of the Grand Cathedral. The Dalish woman had looked just as battered and broken then as she had in Denerim, only in a different way entirely.
Now, in spite of the pain still evident on her lover's features, Leliana felt just like she had a week after the final battle. When she'd felt shifting beneath her as she slept in the small, makeshift hospital set up outside the city, hearing her previously comatose love return to consciousness with a sharp inhale. Her whole world had seemed to fit itself back together again...just like it was right now.
She supposed she should feel slightly conflicted. Irreverent. She'd sworn that oath in front of hundreds of people, and in the eyes of the Maker...and now here she was, completely naked, lying atop a woman similarly devoid of coverings, that she loved. More than life itself, more than the Maker himself. Deep down, she knew this. Perhaps He had brought them together, as she had always believed...but Maker be damned if He was going to drive them apart. After all this time.
Where she should feel unholy, she felt nothing but satisfaction as she softly ran a finger down the other woman's chest, absent-mindedly gazing at the faint splash of freckles scattered about there. If in order to spread the Maker's love, she had to sacrifice what she loved...He was not a god that she wished to serve.
A few unintelligible mumbling sounds began to come out of Aerya's mouth as she shifted slightly, pulling up blankets to cover herself from the cool air. Her breathing became a bit more regular, and Leliana smiled as the elf's emerald eyes blinked open groggily, moving up the bed to lay beside her as her lover regained consciousness. The elf rolled over slowly, locking eyes with her, the green-bordered pupils seeming to shrink in response to both the light, and as she registered her presence. A smile played at the corner of Aerya's lips, as she stared right at her in silence for a few moments.
"Hey." Leliana finally whispered. "Sleep well?"
Her green-eyed lover pulled her in for a short kiss, still seeming slightly lost as to where she was. "I'm not convinced I've woken up."
She smiled, and kissed her again, longer this time. Then again, and again, as if trying to verify that she was real each time she pressed her soft lips to her own. Leliana felt the other woman's hands wandering all over her body, running up from her navel, in between the valley of her breasts, before snaking up her neck to cup her cheek as she kissed her fervently. Leliana giggled as Aerya's lips met her's one last time, letting go of her bottom lip slowly and agonizingly, before looking down at her. Their bodies were squeezed together now, Aerya lying atop her with one leg draped over her waist.
"I imagine they will have sent a search party for me by now." Leliana sighed. A sudden flash of sadness and doubt crossed Aerya's face as a result, replacing the lustful eyes she had been looking down at her with before. Groaning, Aerya rolled off of her and stared at the ceiling.
"We're never going to get a bit of peace and quiet ever again, are we?" She murmured, sadly. Leliana felt her heart break ever so slightly as she watched her lover's pained face, her expression rapidly becoming longing as memories no doubt flooded to her. She knew how much she valued peace and quiet, how precious to her those stolen moments with just the two of them were to her.
"I...no, probably not." She admitted solemnly. "But we can work something out, I'm sure of it."
Aerya didn't seem quite convinced as she glanced at her, uncertainly. "My most treasured memories I have are those nights, on the road. We'd just lie down in a clearing somewhere, together, nothing but the wind and the trees around us. Sometimes you'd tell stories about the stars, and I'd just listen...or sometimes we'd just lay there. It was something I usually did alone. You...you were the first person I always wanted with me. The only thing in Thedas I didn't want to get away from." Leliana felt her heart flutter in spite of her sad tone, as her lover continued. "Now...now we're going to have the prying eyes of the world following us at every single turn."
"Not always." Leliana tried to reassure her. "I was given a rather nice summer cottage, in fact, we could -"
"And what?" Aerya sighed, shaking her head. "Am I going to hide in a closet every other day of the year, until you take a vacation? Hide among the servants?"
Leliana pondered for a moment. It would break her heart to see her lover and never able to touch her, be close to her, or even greet her anywhere in public, without drawing suspicion. Eventually, she'd find some way to make it work. She'd sworn that to herself long ago. But for now...
"I could make you Right Hand." She suggested. "The spot is open."
Aerya didn't seem to believe she'd heard her correctly, as she sat up and looked over at her quizzically. "You're insane."
Leliana giggled. "You're just realizing that now?"
Aerya slid out of the bed, and rose to her feet. She shook her head, seeming slightly frustrated as she made her way over to the small table in the corner of the room. Leliana watched her as she went; in spite of the weight she'd lost, she could see the lean, faint musculature still readily apparent on her bare body as she watched her from behind, the well-toned outline rippling under her skin with each movement. The lean athleticism, honed from countless hours of strenuous activity, had always made her even more pleasing to look at, Leliana had found. Even now.
"Right Hand of the Divine." She muttered, as if testing the words. "Me."
"There are worse candidates."
"A lot of superior ones, too." Aerya replied dryly, leaning on the table and shaking her head again. "And they'll think you're playing favorites. Oh, and not to mention I'm a Dalish elf. I'm sure that will raise more than a few eyebrows. Or blades."
"Firstly, you're also the most renowned Warden alive. That has to mean something." Leliana began. "And secondly, elves are allowed in the upper ranks of the clergy now. Why not make that apparent?"
"You're making life better for elves. I know that. I appreciate that. The people are placated for now, thinking you act on the Maker's will. Then, you make an elf your Right Hand. A Dalish at that, a heretic." Aerya sighed. "That would be bad enough. But how about when it comes out that your Dalish Right Hand is also your lover?"
Leliana looked away, uncertainly.
"Your reforms? People will see them differently after that. They'll see you differently, that's for certain." The elven woman turned around from where she was leaned over, looking her in the eyes now. "What will the scrutinizing eyes of Thedas think of your reforms, when they find out you're breaking your vows to share your bed with an elf? Will the people believe you're serving the Maker, thinking with his will in mind? Or will they believe you're thinking with your vagina?"
Aerya's face softened ever so slightly after she said it, when she saw Leliana's uncertain expression. "I know you, Leliana." She added, softer now. "I know your heart guides what you do, and I know your intentions in this are pure. They always will be. But not everyone is as easily convinced as me."
She turned away again, sighing. "I will not watch the people tear you apart like vultures, because of me. And I will not stand around, acting like I'm something I'm not. I..."
"Aerya..." Leliana felt a familiar sorrow building up in her gut as she whispered her name softly. She wanted to cry. She wanted to yell at her. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to tell her everything would be alright, that she'd make it work...but she wasn't even sure if that was the truth anymore. She was sure of exceptionally little, these days.
Her lover turned to her, and her stern expression weakened almost instantly. "By the Dread Wolf, I'm making this all about me." She shook her head. "I'm...how are you feeling, love?"
She sighed deeply, closing her eyes. "I don't know. This is the last place I ever saw myself, and...it seems no matter what I do, or what I try to convince people of, or try to change...people just want more, or they want none of it. There's no winning with these people."
She opened her eyes to see Aerya, approaching her, nothing but concern on her face. She felt her hand on her arm, as she clambered back onto the bed to sit down across from her. "You'll make it work. All things considered...there's never been a Divine with as true a heart as you. You've had it tested before, had it slip from faith, but the goodness in you has always prevailed in the end. If there's anyone that can bring change, it's you."
She felt her kiss her on the forehead tenderly as she smiled.
"I don't want to lose you." Leliana whispered, weakly. "Everyone looks at me, and sees Divine Victoria now. I don't want to feel like Divine Victoria. I want to feel like Leliana, and you...you make that happen. I love you so much."
"I love you too." Aerya said firmly, laying a kiss on Leliana's mouth. After a moment's hesitation, she sighed. "And...I'll never leave you."
Leliana felt a wave of blissful relief wash away the sadness and doubt her last words had left in her. She looked up at her, her blue eyes sparkling with tears. "You mean it?"
"I do." Her elven lover assured her with a smile. "I was kidding myself when I thought I'd be able to just walk away from you. Part of me knew that the moment I saw you on that throne, the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes upon. You are my world, ma vhenan. I don't care what challenges we have to face, I'll always be with you."
Leliana felt her hands wrap around her back as she moved up slightly, sliding down her back and pausing at her rump.
"Now..." Aerya raised an eyebrow suggestively, an impish grin on her face. "How about I begin my daily worship now, before the Divine returns to duty? The Right Hand should be a believer, after all."
Leliana giggled as Aerya began to kiss her neck, setting her down on her back while still cradling her rear, and lavished her naked form with reverent affection. Every kiss dissolved one issue on her mind, every stroke as Aerya's hands reached her core relieved a modicum of stress...and soon Leliana found herself crying out in bliss like she hadn't been able to in years.
She was whole at last.
Hope you enjoyed, everyone. That was admittedly my first time writing something of a more smutty nature for anything in ages, please go easy on me. :S