Fishing
Angel: and here it is! My first real crack fic! It may be a one shot! But it'll still be funny! I got this idea from a fellow crazy reviewer! (cough Chaotic Blades cough) and really wanted to write something for it!
Chazz: why do I fear for my life again?
Angel: have you not met me? Or do you not remember all that I have done to you?
Chazz: …fair enough
Angel: good boy! There really is no plot to this! So just read!
WARNING!! LOTS AND LOTS OF CRACK!! READ AT OWN RISK AND DON'T DRINK AND/OR EAT ANYTHING WHILE READING! DON'T WANT YA TO CHOKE!!
Angel: you have been warned! O! and bashing! Lots of bashing! Cept for Jesse causes he's Jesse! DISCLAIMER!!
Lawyers: SUE SUE SUE SUE SUE SUE!!
Angel: (pulls out flamethrower chainsaw with a spork on it) DIE YOU MONSTERS!! DIE!! O! and I only own idea! Totally wish I owned Jesse though! T.T
It was as close to a normal day as it could get at Duel Academy. It was mid Saturday so there were no classes. Hassleberry and Syrus were off in the Slifer cafeteria arguing over whose lunch Hassleberry just ate. Chazz was making as ass out of himself by following Alexis around and saying they were meant to be together. Said girl was trying, and failing, to resist slapping Chazz silly. Blaire was in her new Obelisk room coming up with ways to stalk Jaden without getting caught. Atticus was…0.o..wearing a pink apron with valentines on them while standing over a stove with cookies in boxes behind him!?!??! DO I WANT TO KNOW!?!?
(sighs) OK! The cookies were heart shaped too?!!? …Right! He is the Master of Love for a reason! These must be for random couples or people who he 'knows' should hook up! He even wrote names…on…WHY THE HELL DO THEY SAY 'Atty and Zaney Forever!' ON THEM!??!?! AND IN PINK ICING?!?! GAH!!! (falls out of chair and passes out)
The program you were reading is having technical difficulties. We will have it up and running in a matter of-
Tina the Digital Monkey then started to hit random buttons. She also was jumping up and down on the keyboiweriopehfj!! Oiawfdoifndlk93gtyin0i!ow20t20t-m-q-egl'
WILL SOMEONE GET THAT DAMN MONKEY AWAY FROM THE FREAKIN KEYBOARD AND MONITORS!! SOMEHTING MIGHT EXPLODE! ANGEL! WAKE UP DAMMIT!!
Angel opens her eyes and sees her pet jumping around the room
GOD DAMMIT!!! Uses net launcher and catches monkey. I'm out for a second and what the hell do you do!?!?! You're going back in your cage! Get back to the damn story!!
(sweatdropps) um, ya! And now back to your regular scheduled programming!
Sssssssssooooooooooo, ya. Atticus was being Atty. Zane was finally doing something smart and not emo by resting in the nurse's office. Can any of you kids guess why? And if you can't, I'll tell ya! He was not being very smart and was electrocuting himself for fun! But you see kids, it's not fun! Its defiantly not something Elmo or Barney would do! And if you do, bad stuff will happen! LIKE YOU HAVING MANY HEART ATTACKS AND DIEING IN ANOTHER DIMINSION AND THEN COIMING BACK TO LIFE AND ALMOST DYING AGAIN! Humph! Adrian, or the big dumb ass, was long gone! But like that will stop the bashing of him! YOU'RE SUCH A FREAKIN IDIOT AND I'M GLAD THAT YOU GO BOOM!!! YOU'RE WAY TO BUFF AND AREN'T HUMAN IF THOSE AREN'T IMPLANTS!!! Aster had left to go back to the pro leagues and I got really nothing against him so not much bashing there.
Axel was forced to go into the army. Wow. No surprise there. But as soon as he got to the training camp, lets just say he lost his tan and needed a new pair of pants. Jim was trying to catch Shirley who had somehow been let off of his back and was now chasing squirrels and other animals around the forest by the Slifer dorm. Jesse was up on the roof talking with all of his spirits and planning out new strategies to someday use. And where was the hero you ask? Jaden? O Jaden! …WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!?!? O! that's right! He was:
Fishing.
You read right! He was out on the rocks fishing. Not dueling with fish. Not eating fish. But fishing to catch them and throw them back. And isn't it way more fun than sending your monsters out to kill a friend or some random person and have explosions involved? …HELL NO!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!
O ya! A crazy monster that was in love with him was being an evil betch and made him all evil and then fused souls with him so they could be together forever! yay him! GOD DAMN MONSTER!! MADE HIM EMO!!!! (clears throat) so ya. Jaden was just fishing. Like he did every second of everyday when he's not being a butthead to his friends and threatening to throw 'Professor Banner' down a toilet and once he's done threatening, stuffs him back into his old cat.
Personally, I would go with the toilet thing, the battling thing, or just plain blowing up random things. And yes boys and girls, I count Crowler as a thing cause nobody seems to know whether Crowler is a man, woman, or a crossdresser. So to sum it up: he be a thing!
So while everyone else was having fun, or getting slapped in a certain chicken butt haired boy case, while Jaden was off being emo and fishing. But lucky for us and unlucky for Jay, his other friends weren't gonna let him be all alone and be a boring emo ass! They snuck up behind him and one of them threw bombs into the water, one yelled in his ear while the third knocked said emo into the water. Once Jaden got back up to the surface he glared at the three girls.
One girl was wearing a Ra Yellow blazer that was open with a pink T-shirt with a yellow star on the front underneath it, blue jean Capri's, and pink sneakers. Her hair was long and went all the way to center of her back, even though it was in a ponytail and was colored a bright pink color. She had a pink card holder on her hip and her eyes were a nice calming, yet mischievous, blue. She was about Jaden's height. She was the one who used the explosives. Her name was Ani, short for Angelina. Don't ask how she got it to that. She just did.
The next girl wore an open Obelisk Blue blazer and a T shirt that said Yes, I'm crazy. Got a problem, don't go and see my 'therapist' and it had a person in a straightjacket below the writing. For pants she wore black cargo pants that were really baggy. On her feet were blue sneakers. Her hair went down to her shoulders and was a sandy blonde. She had kind green eyes. She had a black deck on her hip. She was a little shorter than Ani. (1) She was the one who kicked Jaden into the water. Her name was Charla, but everyone just called her Chao.
Finally, the third girl wore an Obelisk blue blazer, and guess what, it be open, and under it she wore a light green skirt that reached just above her knees, and wore light green spaghetti strap tang top and had her dark brown hair braided and intertwined with a green ribbon. On her shoes were green flip flops. She had amber eyes that showed caring, but also something much more evil! And she had a red deck holder around her hip.She was shorter than Chao and close to Syrus' height, but still taller than him (2). She was the one who yelled in Jaden's ear. Her name was Michaela, but everyone called her Meki.
All three girls were grinning like the maniacs they were while Jaden just glared at them. He got out of the water and shook himself like a dog to get the water off. He got some on the girls and they glared at him. He smirked at the expressions. Then his face became the cold one it just was and he got pissed again.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!!?" he shouted at them at the top of his lungs. The girls weren't scared and just yawned and looked at their nails. This only added to Jaden's frustration. "YOU SCARED AWAY ALL THE FISHES!!"
"And that's a good thing!" Ani shouted, now looking mad. "You're being stupid! And I mean more so than your usual self! That one was cute and funny! This one is just an ass! Come on! Duel me! You know you wanna!"
"Everyone else is having a good time on their free Saturday, while you're just being an emo idiot and sitting on a rock!" Chao yelled, now she was pissed too. "I MEAN COME ON!! DO YOU PLAN ON COOKING THEM?!!? CAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU'RE GONNA BLOW UP THE FREAKIN STOVE WITH YOUR COOKING! AND IF YOU SAY IT'S JUST FOR FUN I'LL HAVE ANI BLOW YOU UP!!"
"And fishing is bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggg!!" Meki whinnied. Everyone just stared at her like she was a Chibi Meki. "What? It is! It's way better to scare the fish! Like this!" she pushed Jaden into the water. She then pushed Ani and Chao and then jumped in herself. "See?! This was way more fun!" Ani and Chao got mischievous grins on their faces and looked at each other, then at Meki. She got the message. As Jaden started to climb out of the water and onto the rock again, they all pulled him back in.
"Nope!" Ani said smiling as she held one of his arms. "You're not going anywhere!"
"This will be fun!" Meki said, her grin getting bigger while she held Jaden's other arm. "I've always wanted to do this!"
"So have I!" Chao said cracking her knuckles and was swimming in front of the held captive boy. She pulled a permanent marker out from nowhere and started to write on Jaden's face. After about a minute of scribbling, she switched places with Ani.
"Nice artwork Chao!" Ani said putting her hand to her chin and staring at Jaden's face. Chao grinned. "My turn!" Ani pulled a bag out of nowhere and started to rummage threw it. she pulled out a necklace that had the letters 'EJ' on them (3). Then put it on Jaden's and hit a button that was on the 'E'. A timer appeared and it read 10 minutes. She then switched places with Meki.
"I'll make this fast Ani, so that we don't get caught up in the little surprise!" Meki grinned like a mad genius. She cracked her knuckles and started to tickle Jaden. He started to thrash around while in an attempt to break free. But the 2 crazy teen girls held him to tight. After about 8 minutes of tickling, Meki stopped and started to get out of the water. "Come on!" she called out to the other girls. "We gotta go!" the two girls let go and ran out of the water. They were running so fast that there was dust behind them. Jaden just stared blankly at them.
"I hate them." He said to himself. He got out of the water and shook his head again to get rid of the water. He then sat down on the rock. A minute later he heard a ticking. He lifted up the necklace that he just remembered was there and it said 5 seconds. "I'm gonna kill them!" 4…3…2…1…
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And out came the icing! And not just any icing, no! it was bright happy pink icing! Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!!!!! It makes him look so less emo!
(a half hour later in the Slifer cafeteria)
Everyone was in the cafeteria, including Zane who was now eating Atticus' cookies, unaware of what they said on them. Meki, Ani, and Chao were all at the same table, heads in their hands with satisfied grins on their faces. I don't know how they did it, but there were totally dry!
BANG!!!
Jaden burst threw the door, soaking wet and pink. On his forehead was the word 'Super Emo' and he had cat wiskers on his cheeks and hearts around his eyes. On his chin and up the side of his face was what appeared to be a beard and long side burns. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes Looney Toons style! He walked up and sat next to Jesse and tilted back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. And he did NOT look at all happy.
"Jay…" Syrus started. "What were you doing?!!?" Jaden looked at Syrus, then at Meki, Ani and Chao. All three of them gave him 'tell them and you will die painfully in your sleep or we'll make your life a living hell by making you watch Barney, Teletubbies, and My Little Pony all at once' look. Jaden gulped and looked back at Syrus.
"Fishing" was all that he said.
(1) yes I did put you in Chao! I just made up your appearance from what I know bout you! Hope you liked it!
(2) Meki, I guessed on hair and eye and stuff, but I took your clothes from one of your fics! Hope you don't mind!
(3) 'EJ' stands for Emo Jaden!
Angel: first attempt at a real crack fic! Hope you people liked it!
Jaden: why pink?
Angel: why not?
Jaden: it burned my skin
Angel: 0.o well it was Atty's icing so…
R & R IF YA LIKED IT!! -Angel