Author's Note: This is my first fiction for A Great and Terrible Beauty. This takes place in Rebel Angels, while Gemma is still at her Grandmother's house. It's actually kind of random – the fight in the barn after dancing never happened (though the dancing did, because they have a thing in between them).
I know Kartik and Gemma might seem OOC in the story, but that's just how I had to do it to make the story work. This idea's been floating around in my head, driving me insane, so I was just itching to type it.
So voila, here it is.
Disclaimer: I do not own AGATB, nor do I own Rebel Angels. It all belongs to the amazing and hilarious Libba Bray.
It's the infrequent tapping – like stones being tossed at a window – that wakes me.
I squint as I peer out of the window. I see a figure shrouded in a black cloak. I almost shriek, when I realize who it is.
Kartik.
"What are you doing here?" I hiss down at him. He should be in that room he showed me, sleeping. It's the bloody middle of the night!
"I want to show you something!" He calls to me in a whisper.
"…In the middle of the night?" I question, unhappy from the sudden rude awakening. He nods, and I groan inwardly. "I'll be down in a minute."
After re-dressing in today's clothes, I sneak downstairs. Grandmama, Father, Tom, and the maids do not even stir.
After making my way outside, I glare at him.
"What could be so important that you have to show me in the middle of the night?" I snap rudely.
"It's a surprise." He smiles, and I nearly give in.
"Gemma, do you not trust me?" Kartik whispers, offering me his hand. I sit, pondering this. He asks me to come with him? He won't even tell me where we're going!
But, then again, he is so sweet…so gentle. How could he possibly do harm to me? I saw the way he danced with me, kissed me before. He likes me. Maybe even loves me.
"Yes, Kartik," I smile. "I trust you."
I grip his hand in mine, and he takes me to the carriage where a beautiful black horse is waiting. He opens the carriage door. I shiver as I take in the darkness. It's ever so un-ladylike of me to go with a man to an unknown place in the middle of the night. "It's alright," he assures with a voice so gentle, it's like a warm breeze caressing my flesh. I sit down in the cab seat, trying to get my eyes to adjust. I hear Kartik cluck to the horses, and then we are moving.
As my eyes begin to grow used to the darkness, a sudden fear jolts within me.
I'm not alone in the carriage.
Suddenly, a man is upon me; it's Fowlson. He places a handkerchief to my nose, covered in ether. I lose consciousness.
I feel nauseous. My head is pounding. A fuzzy layer coats my tongue. I squeeze my eyes tightly, and then open them.
I see nothing, just darkness.
I double over, retching somewhere beside me. For a horrifying moment, I fear I've gone blind. But then a door opens, and light pours in.
"Ah, you are awake," a cold voice says. It's foreign to me.
I'm confused. How did I get here? My eyes go wide as everything floods back to me.
Kartik. The carriage. Fowlson.
Surely, Kartik didn't know about the Rakshana man in the seat? Oh no. What have they done to him?!
"Where's Kartik?" I gasp out. My throat sounds scratchy.
"No matter," the man growls. I begin to shiver; it's cold in this room for June.
"Have you found the temple and bound the magic?" he asks. He makes it clear that I am not to speak of anything except what he – the Rakshana – want.
"No."
"Well then, get started. Do you remember what to say?"
"Yes." My voice is barely more than a whisper. I begin to feel dizzy, and I fear I might retch again.
"Get to it. Best get started now; then you won't be stuck here for as…long."
Fear gnaws at my stomach. Then the man walks out the door, slamming it behind him.
"Wait!" I cry, but the man is gone. I shiver violently now. This time, it's not just from the cold – I have never been so frightened in my entire life. Not just for myself, but for Kartik.
What are they going to do to him?
What have they done to him?
I shake. I must do it. I must bind the magic in the name of the Eastern Star. But first, I must find the Temple. I furrow my eyebrows, trying to think of anything I've heard thus far that might hint at the location.
Too many clues! I think to myself. I shake my head, close my eyes, and conjure the door.
Best get started now…
Days have passed. At least, that's what it seems like. Nothing has happened. No matter where I turn, no matter what path I take, I can't find it. I can't find the Temple. I've betrayed him. I don't know where he is, if he's even alive. Sobs wrack my frame, causing me to gasp for breath. My corset is much too tight…much too tight…
…So thirsty. Hungry. But no, I mustn't think such things! I must find the Temple and bind the magic, for Kartik! I must save him!
I enter the realms now, the little hope left in me beginning to slow to its demise. I glance longingly at the berries on the bush…they look so ripe, so thirst-quenching. But I can't eat them, or I'll be trapped, trapped like Pippa. Poor dear Pip; she's tried to help me. I'm beginning to fear that her spirit has been corrupted. Sometimes I look and see a frightful hunger on her face.
After searching for what feels like hours, re-looking in places I've looked previously, I decide to head back through the door. I give another furtive glance at the berries, and rush through the door before temptation overcomes me.
Fowlson and the man are waiting for me. They've appeared only twice since I arrived, and both times I begged for food and water, they refused. "Not until you find the Temple and Bind the magic," the man had said.
"Please," I rasp. I've hardly the strength to even sit up now. My stomach burns from my hunger, my throat parched from my thirst. "Please," I repeat.
"Fetch her some water," the man barks, and then I see the two exchange glances. Fowlson nods, and leaves to get the life-giving water that I need.
When Fowlson returns, the man holds his hand out. "Not yet. First…are you certain you can't find the Temple?
"Yes," I croak. I know there have to be tear streaks down my dirtied face. "I haven't been able to find it…"
"What are you doing?" I hear a familiar voice call out.
No.
This can't be happening.
So he was in on it, and I've been worrying about him for nothing. Sobs wrack my body, as I feel the depth of this betrayal. Kartik has turned against me, and is allowing me to starve and die of thirst…just so I can bind the magic to the Eastern Star…whatever the bloody hell that even means.
"Well then, we shan't be needing you, not unless you can bind the magic." He nods, and Fowlson gives me the much-needed bowl of water, as well as a wicked smirk.
"What are you doing?!" Kartik yells as he sees me leaning in to drink. So he wants me to die of thirst? I swallow it eagerly. It has a bitter, strange taste to it, but I don't care. I'm so thirsty. There is a burning in my mouth, throat, and stomach; I've never nearly died of thirst before. Is it supposed to feel like this?
The bowl shatters to the floor as I realize that the ablaze-feeling is not normal. I feel like I'm being burned from the inside out!
I try to groan, but nothing comes out. I know my eyes are wide in fear; what have they given me? It feels like acid!
I claw at my throat and stomach, when suddenly warmth and the smell of spice and firewood surrounds me. "No, no, no, no! NO!" It's Kartik, supporting me. "What did you GIVE HER?" He roars. Wait…what is he talking about? He's in league with them!
I begin to cough, and I taste the copper before I see it as blood splatters out of my mouth.
I can feel the sobs wracking Kartik's side. "No, no, no! Gemma, please hold on…please!" I can feel his tears falling onto my face. Wait…I'm so confused…
…I'm so tired…
I begin to close my eyes, but Kartik shakes me awake. "No! Gemma, love, please don't give in! Then his face turns to look at something beyond my vision. All I am able to see is his glorious face. "You weren't supposed to hurt her! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT HER!"
"You couldn't complete your task. So we completed it for you. She's no use to us if she can't find the temple. And she can't have the magic all to herself," the man growls. I hear him walk out of the room. We are alone.
"I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…" he chants over and over. "Please, you can't die! I never meant to hurt you…"
A moan escapes my lips as I continuously claw at my stomach and throat. "It burns…it burns…" I rasp out. That causes the burning in my throat to deepen, and tears squirt from my eyes from the pain.
He strokes my face gently, cooing to me. "I know; I know it does. I'm here, I'm here."
I feel the darkness begin to creep into my eyes. "I love you," I say, surprising even myself.
What Kartik says surprises me more.
"I love you too," he kisses my hand and wrist. I feel my consciousness slipping; the sweet feel of darkness is beginning to pull me under.
"I'll see you soon," I sigh, as the last of my breath leaves my charred mouth.
I smile as I take in the familiar surroundings. I just woke up in the realms…why? I'm so confused. I see a berry, and I frown. Did I eat one after all?
Then it rushes back to me. My captivity. The man. Fowlson. The acid. Kartik. Kartik!
I jump up, trying to conjure the door. Nothing happens. I can't, can I? I'm to be stuck hear for eternity, unless I cross the river to the unknown world beyond.
I sit down and sob. When I look up, Pippa is there. "Pip?" I ask, as if my mind is playing tricks with me.
"Oh, poor Gem…" she sighs, sitting down with me. She puts her arms around me, and allows me to cry onto her shoulder. "There, there, it'll be all right." She coos to me, preens me, doing her best at reassuring me. What makes me cry harder is that Pippa never treated me like this before…she was never so kind…
A little while later, after my sobs quieted and tears stopped falling, she dares to ask me the question. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you…pass on?"
I tell her of everything, from when Kartik tapped on my window all the way up until he held me in his arms and we confessed our love. At this, a new bout of tears erupts, and Pippa all the while strokes my back like a mother.
"Come on," she says after some time. "Let's make you presentable. I've no doubt we'll be seeing your dear Kartik sooner rather than later."
I attempt a smile and nod. Not that I like the thought of him dying, but…it's just something I know will happen. Must be some kind of intuition…a kind that would lock me in Bedlem.
With magic, I fix my ripped and dirtied dress, and I clean my skin, making it almost glow. My hair has become ultra-curly and red, thanks to Pippa. Pippa also makes me a flower crown. "Here, Gem," she smiles brightly.
"Thanks," I smile in return. I can't help it…I might see Kartik once more. Life in the realms suddenly seems much more bearable.
(Kartik's POV)
I hold her in my arms, sobbing as never before. I cried less for my dear brother Amar than I am for this small girl in my arms.
They killed her. They bloody killed her. A renewed fury burns inside of me. I gently lay her body onto the cold floor, and rush from the room.
Fowlson is waiting for me.
Quick as a mouse, my knife is at his throat. A strange surge of pleasure comes from it, and I rush towards the elders' room.
Every Rakshana who's tried to stop me, I've slaughtered. They've no pity for me, so I shall have no pity for them.
Finally, I run into the man that killed Gemma. I know I must appear like I belong in an asylum, with murder in my eyes. He is sitting in a chair, smoking an expensive Turkish cigar. The puffs come out in rings, and he smiles at me. He smiles. It's like he hadn't just killed darling Gemma. "Why, Kartik, it's good to have you out and about," he says merrily; there's an underlying tone of danger mixed in with his sentence. I know the message in his words…hurt me and you die.
I'm perfectly aware of that.
After I've walked until I am a mere meter from him, I rush at him. My knife cuts across his throat, and blood spits out like a red waterfall.
Within seconds, some of the Rakshana guards rush in. Before they can reach me, I plunge my own knife into my gut. I collapse onto the floor, praying dear Gemma can forgive me.
I blink. The realms are just as Gemma told me…only better. I could smell curry that Mother used to prepare for dinner and my favorite flower in Bombay when it was in full bloom.
But something even better waits for me several yards away. I fight a tear that's coming to my eye as I take her in. I can't believe I betrayed her. I betrayed her.
The girl named Pippa stands beside Gemma, whose back faces me, and a wicked grin appears on her face. Pippa whispers something to Gemma, and she visibly stiffens. Suddenly, fear ebbs into me. Will she ever forgive me?
She swings around, eyes wide. A grin breaks out on her magnificent face. She lifts the hem of her skirts and runs in my direction. I rush to meet her. Her cheeks are lit with a rosy blush and her freckles dapple sweetly across her face. Her smile is contagious; I find myself smiling as well. We both reunite with a sweet, warm embrace, and whisper each other's names.
"Kartik, I'm sorry," she whispers, trailing her hand down my cheek. We've settled in the sweet, smooth grass, and she looks at me with sorrow in her eyes.
"No, I will not have that." I state firmly. She blinks, surprised. "It is I who betrayed you and inadvertently lead to your demise."
She stares at me for a second. Then another smile breaks loose across her face. "Then we both led to each other's deaths. Does that sound alright?"
I laugh. "I suppose so," though it was really my fault all along. I lead to my own death.
Gemma removes her hand from my cheek. It is covered in filth. She blinks at it, and laughs. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," she says. She closes her eyes; when she opens them, she smiles, and looks in the direction where Pippa waits near the river, staring at a beautiful sunset. Gemma runs to join her.
(Gemma's POV)
Pippa sighs beside me. "You know, I think I'm ready to cross." I nod in encouragement.
"Would you like help?"
"No," she smiles, and its warmth radiates through me from head to toe. "This is my own journey I must make. I've come to terms with my demise. Gemma, it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry if I ever said that it was."
"Dear Pip," I sigh, leaning my head on her shoulder. "I take no offense. I deserve it. I shall miss you," I say, a tear coming to my eye. "But who knows," I sniff, "Maybe, wherever we go after this life, we will meet up."
"Surely we will," she smiles once more, and tears actually appear in her eyes.
"Gemma, before I depart, I just wanted to say…life would never have been so entertaining and purposeful without you around. I'm sorry I ever embarrassed you." She gives a long sigh, and looks at the ground. "I just wish I could have said good-bye to Fee."
"Me, too," I say with a sigh. "And Ann," I add.
"Yes, of course Ann," Pippa giggles. She looks at me, her beautiful violet eyes piercing mine. "You take care, Gemma. And don't keep me waiting too long," she nods at the far shore of the river.
I laugh, and nod. "I shan't. We'll be right behind you."
Pippa stands and we embrace each other. "Goodbye, dear friend," she says.
"Bye," I sniffle. And then Pippa is in the river, swimming to the far shore. When she appears on the other side, I watch her until she disappears from sight.
I feel Kartik's warm embrace as I sob. He holds me and comforts me, as I let out all of my unshed tears. I'm not just crying for Pip, but for everyone – Father, Tom, Grandmama, Ann, Felicity – and yet at the same time, I've never been so happy. I'm here, and Kartik is with me. Anything seems possible. I look across the river, into that beautiful sunset, and then look back at Kartik.
"Where is she going?" He whispers to me. I look at him, and take his hand.
"I don't know where it leads, but…it's where all souls go when they are ready to move on."
We place our foreheads together and clasp hands. Several moments of silence pass before either of us speaks. We are simply…there for each other.
"You ready to cross?" he asks, his breath fanning across my face. I smile, and nod. He smiles in return. We stand, looking into the diminishing sun, and take each other's hand.
Where does the far side of the river take us? I do not know. But holding Kartik's hand in mine makes me feel...like anything is possible. I turn to face Kartik; his chocolate eyes go deep, and I could drown in them. "I love you…" I whisper.
"I love you too," he says, and he leans down. Our lips meet, and we share a meaningful, blissful kiss. We walk into the river, swimming to the far shore. Kartik still holds his hand in mine, and I can't help but grin.
Yes, the future has never looked so sweet.
A/N: So? Yes? No? Too OOC for your liking? Does it make any sense? Please, kind criticism welcomed. Just no harsh flames or I shall hide under a rock and never emerge again…