Penny was halfway through a Saturday morning shift at the Cheesecake Factory when she got a call from Sheldon. He sounded rather frantic.
"Wait, hold on... what happened?" she asked.
"I am experiencing a material failure in my prototype for a personal invisibility shield. I need you to come aid me. It is a matter of some urgency."
"Sheldon, if you're hurt, you should call 911," Penny gasped, frightened.
"No, no, I'm not injured, just… in a difficult situation," he replied.
"Fine. Well, hang tight and I'll be home in about twenty minutes."
"Ironically, I will have no difficulty in 'hanging tight'," Sheldon replied acerbically, and then added in a softer tone of voice, "Please don't delay, Penny."
Penny sighed as she asked one of the other girls to cover for her. She was still trying to get her life back in order after her break-up with Leonard. Their relationship had staggered to a halt for the second time. Years ago, she had been proud of herself for leaving Kurt because he cheated. At the time, she thought she was holding out for something better, for a nice guy who wouldn't cheat, who would put her needs first. Well, Leonard was a nice guy still, she believed that; but he wasn't the right guy. As for putting her needs first... for all the sweet, romantic things he had done for her, there was an equal "insensitive jerk" moment to balance it in her mind. Maybe she still needed to hold out for something better, if there was such a guy out there. That had been a big part of why she had stayed with Leonard for so long. She had first-hand experience of how many guys out there were jerks, creeps, or otherwise defective. Dating someone who was nice, even if he admitted to her face to having ulterior motives, had been a step up.
Surprisingly, Amy and Sheldon had also broken up soon after that, and they had gone out with a bang instead of a whimper. It had started with Amy being upset that he hadn't gotten her the birthday present she hinted at. (After three years, did she still not understand that Sheldon didn't do hints, was practically impervious to them?) It had quickly escalated into a one-sided match with Amy yelling about how he didn't satisfy her needs. Penny was sure half of 2311 North Robles had been an unwilling audience to that domestic dispute. Sheldon had been doing his usual cringing response to someone yelling, until something inside him had snapped, and he started shouting back, six foot two inches of angry Texan. Although Penny had gone over to Amy's with the obligatory post-break-up booze and ice cream, she was secretly glad to see Sheldon stand up for himself at last.
Now, as she rushed to her friend's aid (and what the hell had he gotten up to this time?), Penny felt she showed great restraint driving home; she ran only one red light. She dashed up the stairs as fast as she could, and burst through the door of apartment 4A panting and out of breath. As her gaze alighted on Sheldon, her jaw dropped open, and she swore, "Holy crap on a cracker."
The physicist was standing stiffly in the middle of the living room, arms and legs spread wide, looking for all the world as if he had coated himself in layers of plastic wrap. Only his fingers, feet and face were clearly visible through the strange substance.
"What is this stuff? Sheldon, what the hell did you do?" Penny asked, not sure whether she should be worried or take pictures.
"As I told you, I was working on a prototype of my personal invisibility shield. I must have made a miscalculation as I was combining the polymers, as my shield contracted and hardened, and is now adhering itself to my body in a rather uncomfortable fashion."
"Okay, let's not even get into why you thought you could make an invisibility shield," Penny groaned. "How do I get it off you?"
She was mentally cursing Sheldon's experiment. All she really wanted to do was to go home, take a shower, and put her feet up for a while.
Sheldon's eyes skittered around the room. "I hadn't yet gotten to that part," he confessed.
Penny let the phrase, "Why me?" escape her lips, and Sheldon answered her as if she had actually asked a serious question.
"Under ordinary circumstances, I would have asked Leonard or Raj or Howard to aid me, but they all insisted in attending that travesty of a Babylon 5 convention this weekend. And as you are well aware, Amy is attending a neurobiology seminar in San Francisco this weekend, not to mention that I would not ask for her help in this particular situation."
Penny thought he was referring to his recent break-up with Amy. Much later, she realized that with Sheldon Cooper, PhD, it was always better to ask exactly what he meant.
"All right," she sighed. "I don't suppose it would come off with soap and water?"
Sheldon scoffed at that idea. Penny rolled her eyes at him, but dashed over to her apartment to bring back some other things she could try. While she was there, she took the time to change out of her uniform and into a tank top and shorts. She returned, carrying some dish soap (just in case he was wrong about that), a bottle of nail polish remover, a bottle of baby oil, and a pair of scissors.
Sheldon eyed the scissors nervously. "What do you think you're going to do with those?"
"Isn't it obvious, genius? I'm going to try to cut this stuff off of you."
Unfortunately, the scissors weren't able to cut the translucent layers, which were surprisingly tough. The dish soap also had no effect. Sheldon was hopeful that the nail polish remover would be effective, but it seemed to soak through the layers of plastic instead. Sheldon was soon whining that it burned.
"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, let me try this," and Penny poured some of the baby oil on the spot where the acetone had burned Sheldon's skin. He immediately sighed with relief.
"Hey! Hey, Sheldon, look!" she cried. The layers of plastic were slowly peeling back from his hand where she had poured the baby oil. Penny pulled at it and scraped it off gently with her fingernails, and gradually Sheldon's entire left hand was free.
"Well, the good news is, we found something that works," she sighed. "The bad news is, we're going to need a lot more baby oil."
Penny had to run out to the drug store. She felt foolish buying two cases of baby oil, as well as four bottles of vegetable oil that she hoped would work as well. She also bought a box of oversized trash bags because she could foresee that this was going to make a huge mess. In fact, Sheldon had also thought of that while she was gone, and he begged her to allow him to use her bathroom in which to de-plasticize himself. She just sighed again and made him promise to clean her bathroom thoroughly when this was all over. She also couldn't keep from laughing at him as he hobbled, stiff-limbed, across the landing to her place.
In Penny's apartment, however, they ran into a snag. The plasticized coating was so hard that Sheldon could barely move.
He couldn't do anything to help except stand patiently on the trash bags while Penny rubbed the baby oil into the polymer casing. As Penny worked her way up Sheldon's arm, she began to have a sneaking suspicion that seemed to be confirmed as she got to his bicep.
"Uh, Sheldon? What were you wearing when you tried out your experimental shield thingy?"
The physicist turned several interesting shades of red, but was unable to turn his head to avoid Penny's shocked stare.
"Haven't you ever seen the movie The Invisible Man?" he asked plaintively.
"No," she wailed in disbelief. "Let me guess, clothes would have interfered with the invisibility spectrum, or something like that?"
Sheldon felt a strange shock run through his body as she said those words. "Could... could you repeat that?" he asked breathlessly.
She did so, looking at him quizzically. He shuddered to hear techno-babble coming out of her mouth. It was the most alluring thing he had ever heard her say, and he was starting to feel overheated.
"Penny, could you hurry up? I'm not feeling well," he complained.
"Fine, just let me know if you feel like you're going to be sick, okay?" she said, continuing to massage his upper arm. Another involuntary shudder went through him, and Penny looked at him in concern.
"Maybe we should get this stuff off your face next," she said.
As she gently massaged his face and scalp, he tried desperately to feel revolted by the idea that Penny was coating him with oil, which would doubtless require several long hot showers to wash off. It didn't work. By the time Penny had worked her way down to his neck and shoulders, he couldn't stifle a moan of pleasure.
"Are you all right, sweetie?" Penny asked, looking worried.
Sheldon opened his mouth to respond, but for once in his life, he wasn't sure what to say. "Don't… don't stop," he begged.
Penny looked surprised for a moment, and then a slow smirk spread across her face. So Sheldon does have a deal after all, she thought with a wicked grin. She continued to massage his back, loving the feel of her oil-slicked hands sliding over his lean musculature. She stopped at the base of his spine, and came around to stand in front of him, sliding her hands over his chest now. Sheldon's eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back as he fought to regain control. As she freed his other arm from the polymer, he couldn't help himself any longer. He slid his hands up Penny's arms and gasped her name. She continued to caress his midsection even as his grip tightened, and he pulled her in to his chest and crushed his lips to hers. She responded with equal fervor, twining her arms around his neck and kissing him back passionately. His hands at her waist found their way under her tank top and worked their way higher. Sheldon knew nothing about kissing, but he was a fast learner, and soon Penny was feeling weak-kneed as their tongues dueled for dominance. His thumb was brushing the underside of her breast now, and she moaned and nipped at his lower lip to encourage him. He moved his hand to cover her whole breast, and Penny let out a gasp as his fingers brushed her nipple.
Suddenly, Sheldon let out a sound that was more like whimper than a moan, and he pulled away from Penny. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked, concern for him written plain across her face. Had she pushed him too far?
It seems that my... aroused state has caused a highly painful constriction against the plastic," he gasped.
Penny looked down and understood immediately. That was a sizable bulge straining against the layers, which remained frustratingly opaque. Fortunately, she knew just how to help. "Picture Howard's mother," she said.
Sheldon sighed with relief as the pressure lessened. "Thank you. That was surprisingly effective."
She smirked. "You're not the only guy I've known who's had those kinds of problems. At least you have a good excuse for getting excited too quickly."
Now Penny knelt on the floor, and Sheldon had to firmly juxtapose the mental image of Howard's mother over the much more appealing one of Penny kneeling in front of him. She began to rub her way up his legs, removing the last of the congealed plastic. She hesitated as she reached the tops of his thighs, and then rose to look him in the eye.
"Sheldon, we don't have to keep going," she said seriously. She wanted to give him a chance to back away if he wanted to. "You can get the rest of the plastic off by yourself."
In response, Sheldon reached out and cupped the back of her neck, pulling her in for another kiss. He broke it off before things could get too intense. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never experienced a touch that could be so pleasurable instead of making me cringe. I want you to continue… that is, if you want to as well."
Penny bit her lip as she confessed, "I've always thought you were attractive, even sexy at times. But you always seemed completely disinterested. I want you, too. I just don't want you to regret this."
"I won't," he promised.
"All right," she replied with a soft smile that was almost shy. "Let's get the rest of this off you." She circled around behind him, and began her slow massage of his ass. He groaned as she worked her way lower, and bit back a cry as she finally slid a hand between his legs.
"Keep thinking about Howard's mother," she said dryly, "or this last part could hurt." But there was nothing that could fully distract him from the sensation of Penny's hands cupping his balls and grasping the length of his cock. Finally, the last shreds of the plastic were gone, and with a predatorial growl, Sheldon pulled her to him. He ground into her as his hands roamed over her bottom.
She pulled away from him just long enough to whip her tank top off over her head, and he instantly obliged her by bending down and taking one of her nipples in his mouth. Penny cried out and guided his hand to her other breast. He quickly learned which actions produced the most satisfying sounds from her as he gently squeezed and pinched her hardened nipples with his long fingers. She decided to shift the balance of power as she reached down between their bodies and grasped his shaft in both hands. He threw his head back, gasping as waves of pleasure rolled through him.
"Penny," he moaned. "I-I'm close."
"Bed," she ordered, backing up until the back of her thighs hit the edge of her mattress. With a quick tug, she brought him down on top of her and wiggled underneath him until his narrow hips were cradled between her thighs. She reached up and tangled her fingers in his short hair, pulling his head down for another kiss as she guided him inside her. He shuddered as he lost himself in her heated core. He made a tentative thrust with his hips, and she was right there with him, moving her body to meet his. It was over far too soon, a fact that was perhaps inevitable given his inexperience. But he had heard Penny's cries crescendo, and the idea that he had brought her to climax pushed him over the edge as well.
He lay on the bed, panting but strangely calm. He had never experienced anything remotely like this before. He felt wrung out but also exhilarated and at the same time, remarkably clear-headed. He wondered if he could somehow use this feeling when he was tussling with a particularly thorny physics problem, and the incongruity of his thoughts startled a breathy laugh out of him.
Penny rolled over, kissing him and placing an arm over his chest. "That was... perfect. That was exactly what I needed. You sure you haven't done that before?"
He shook his head silently. "Only you," he whispered in a low baritone.
She propped herself up on an elbow so she could look into his face. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked.
He considered. There was no way to put into words what he was feeling, how he had always thought of her as a gift in his life, a blessing of grace and light that he felt, for all his intelligence, that he did not deserve. Now she had given him something so amazing, so sublime, that he would keep it locked in his heart and mind forever.
"You're beautiful," he blurted out suddenly. He saw her face change subtly and knew he had said the wrong thing. Quickly, he hurried to explain.
"I have always said that you are aesthetically pleasing, as if you were a fine piece of artwork. But that is nothing more than an accident of genetics, and has nothing to do with your beauty. It is who you choose to be, kind and open and generous and loyal, that makes you beautiful," he clarified.
Something new and precious, delicate as a spring blossom, unfurled within her as she listened to his words. Something better, her soul whispered. Her answering smile was shy and tentative. She felt naked in front of him in a way that had nothing to do with her lack of clothing. Was this what intimacy was all about? Being yourself and being accepted for who you are?
Suddenly, she knew the right words to say. "Sheldon, would you consider an alteration in our relationship paradigm?"
His eyes widened, and then a genuine smile spread over his face. "Absolutely, if by 'altering our relationship paradigm', you mean you want to be my girlfriend," he replied, twining his fingers through her hair in a gentle caress.
She reached for him again. "I have to warn you," she said with a grin. "I think I'm going to have to keep you here in my bed for at least a week... to celebrate our new relationship status, of course."
He gave her a smoldering look from heavy-lidded sapphire eyes. "I'll rearrange my schedule."