So here is the first chapter of the sequel to Life Ain't Always Easy. I want to thank Dark Alana for helping me with the summary after I was having some trouble with it, so thank you. I want to say welcome back to the old readers and welcome to the new readers. It would be easier to understand what's going on in this story if you read Life Ain't Always Easy, although you don't have to if you don't want to. Once again please excuse any grammatical errors that this may contain I tried my best at looking it over and fixing them but a few may still be there. So without any more blabbing, I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places or dialogue you may recognize from the show they all belong to Kurt Sutter. I only own Carrie, the places, dialogue and any other character not recognizable.
Chapter One
Two weeks had passed since Abel's kidnapping and Kip's murder and even though Carrie wanted to be there for Jax. To offer comfort and be a shoulder to lean on. She stayed away.
She knew the last thing Jax needed right now was drama. What he needed was to focus on finding Abel and nothing else. Her showing up would only cause unnecessary and unwanted drama. Especially when it came to Tara.
So instead, she focused on helping Piney with the funeral arrangements. Making sure everything was set for Kip's wake that night.
Any information regarding Jax and the search for Abel was given to her by either Piney or Opie and it was getting on her nerves that she had to rely on them. But she knew there was no way that she could be in the same room as Tara and not start something. Especially, when she held Tara responsible for Kip being stabbed and Abel being taken by Cameron Hayes. In her eyes, Tara was equally responsible for what happened.
Carrie had no idea how she was going to get through the wake without blowing a gasket at seeing Tara. Especially when everyone was treating her as a victim and felt bad that she had to witness everything. But there were only two victims and one of them was already lying in a casket and the other was somewhere out there. So in her mind, Tara shouldn't be receiving any sympathy and she wouldn't be receiving any from her.
What was even more fucked up, was that Gemma had no idea that her grandson was missing. From what Carrie knew, the club had only told her about Kip because it had been all over the news. In a way they were protecting Gemma wherever she was but in a way they were only adding more fuel to the fire that was surely going to burn. Once Gemma found out. There were no ifs ands or buts about that because this wasn't something they would be able to keep from her for much longer.
"I think you blame me," Tara said leaning on the dresser besides Jax.
Jax shook his head, "This has nothing to do with you."
"None of it does," he said after a couple of seconds.
"None of it?" Tara softly questioned.
"I'm sorry this happened. I had no right asking you for this." Jax stated ignoring her previous question.
"Asking me for what?"
"Wanting you to stay. Be a part of what I am… I didn't think it through. I obviously do that type of shit…not think what it might do to other people."
"I'm not other people," Tara states in disbelief at what Jax is saying.
"You should have gone back to Chicago," Jax states shaking his head. "That shit that happened with Kohn. That should have been the end."
Even though he had said it aloud, it was something he had been thinking to himself. He should have just helped Tara deal with Kohn and then left after. He shouldn't have slept with her and started this all over again. Maybe if he had done things differently none of this would have been happening.
"You're not making any sense," Tara softly stated watching him for some kind of sign that would help her understand.
"This has to be the end. You have to get out from Charming…away from me."
"Jax you can't expect-"
"Just… Tara. Please don't complicate it. It's simple… you don't belong here," Jax said cutting her off.
"And Carrie does?"
"Carrie is Piney's daughter and Opie's sister. That alone makes her a part of this," Jax states looking at her; knowing that Tara was looking for a fight but not having the energy to give her one.
Jax starts to walk out the room not wanting to stick around for the fight that he knows has been in the works for a while now.
"We both know why you really want to end this. It's because of her," Tara angrily says turning to face his back.
"This isn't about Carrie or me blaming you for what happened," Jax firmly explains. "It's simply about you not belonging in my world. You never did."
Jax leaves her alone in the room and hearing his bike drive off causes her to snap. Pushing the items on the shelf onto the floor is the only way to relieve the anger that she is feeling.
After not getting any information that could have given them a clue as to where Cameron could have taken Abel. Jax found himself at the cemetery. The only place where he could let everything he was feeling out without someone feeling bad or taking pity on him.
On his way back to his bike, he saw the black van Piney seemed to be driving now a days.
"So… how's the old man?" Piney gruffly asked.
"Still dead," Jax answered coming to a stop in front of him.
"You know I hear that happens."
"What are you doing? Cruising for widows," Jax teased with a small barely there smile.
"Making arrangements for Sack's grave."
Jax nodded while getting ready to leave.
"You want to bounce something off of me? I'm not as smart as JT but I've been known to have my moments," Piney said offering to hear Jax out.
"I'm good," Jax stated squeezing Piney's arm in thanks and reassurance.
"Jax," Piney called out causing him to stop and turn around. "We don't have shrinks or priests. You don't have to talk to me and that's fine. But you have to talk to somebody in this club and work this shit out."
Jax didn't say anything, instead he walked over to his bike and sat down while Piney chose to lean against the van.
"I've been trying to find some kind of balance Piney. From my family…club. Every time I think I've found it. I end up in a place I never knew could feel this bad," Jax said after a couple of moments of silence as he gathered his thoughts.
"What did I do man?" Jax questions trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.
"Look…you're loyal. You're decent. You love the right things. That's how he was," Piney says motioning towards JT's gravestone.
"Did you hear about Doctor Knowles?" Carrie heard one of the nurses ask as she stood waiting for the elevator.
She turned around thinking that the question was directed at her but saw two nurses standing in the hall gossiping.
"No what about her?"
"She freaked out during one of her surgeries."
Carrie didn't stick around to find out what had happened next. Instead she stepped into the elevator. She didn't care what Tara did. It wasn't any of her business but the fact that she hadn't done anything to stop Cameron from taking Abel didn't sit right with her.
Now she had to go home and get ready for Kip's wake because he had risked his life in order to stop Cameron and make sure Abel was safe.
Jax was just finishing cleaning up the mess Tara had made in Abel's nursery when she walked in. He briefly paused in his cleaning to look at her before bending down to pick up some closed packs of diapers.
"I'll finish up," Tara said bending down to pick up what was lying on the floor.
"I got it," Jax stated taking the wooden toys from her; not in the mood to deal with her at the moment. "You should go."
"No. You know I didn't come back to Charming to run away from Kohn and I didn't stay because of what we did to him," she informed him still kneeling on the floor.
"It doesn't matter now."
"When Donna was killed. Those things you said to me at the hospital about my life being a series of hit and runs. That my face was the only one you saw," she said standing up.
"I shouldn't have said that shit," Jax said raising his voice.
He knew had made a mistake saying that because it had been true when he was Wendy and anyone else. Until Carrie came around. Then all he saw was her.
"It was the truth," Tara raised her voice and threw the nearest object at him; which turned out to be a stuffed rabbit. "I have created this very serious life for myself and when I'm inside it I barely know myself. I have these moments sometimes in the middle of a surgery when I'm aware of my hands doing extraordinary things… and I'm like what am I doing? When I'm with you I never ask that question."
"I'm not the answer. Look at me… look at this," Jax said.
"I'm always looking at it. My brain never stops. Why am I here? Should I be here? Should I stay? Should I go? Am I afraid to be a mother… shit… it's endless."
"None of that matters," Jax softly said.
"I know… it's become all clear to me. The noise doesn't matter. We don't know who we are until we are connected to someone else. We're just better people when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here."
Jax didn't know what to say. So he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
All the while he was thinking that her words didn't matter anymore. They would have ten years ago but they didn't matter anymore. Not when the person he wanted by his side was somewhere else.
Carrie looked around noticing how many people had shown up to Kip's wake. There were patches from different states and even some army friends of Kip's all milling around the front of the funeral home.
She slowly started to make her way through the crowd as she spotted Jax and Tara arrive. As she made her way up the steps she kept hearing people say "Such a shame" or "He was brave for doing what he did."
Looking across the street, she stopped midway up the steps when she noticed David parked directly across from the funeral home.
The last time she had talked to him had been shortly after Kip had delivered the ultrasound picture and they had decided on two names for the baby. One if it was a boy and one in case it was a girl.
Now here he was standing mere feet from her but she couldn't make herself go to him. Instead she watched as he talked to a man in a suit who she knew was Jacob Hale.
Feeling like a stalker, she turned and made her way inside.
Inside she stood off to the side with Lyla as the club paid their respects. She couldn't help but stare at the kutte draped over his casket. The same kutte he had worn before now held his top and bottom rockers along with the reaper.
Opie had told her how the club had voted on doing this for Kip since he had been so close into patching in. Him sacrificing his life had shown them that he deserved to be buried a fully patched in member.
She felt Lyla softly nudge her and whisper for her to look at the entrance of the room.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw Jax and Tara make their way into the room. She stayed silent as she watched the scene unfold before her. Seeing Tara kneel in front of Kip's casket was the breaking point. It was taking all her strength to not pull her by the hair and drag her out.
Instead she made her way out of the room and through the crowd until she was outside and taking deep breaths of fresh air in.
"How you holding up?" Lyla questioned as they made their way down the funeral home steps.
"As best as I can. He didn't deserve to die this way," Carrie said stepping onto the sidewalk.
Lyla hugged Carrie and watched the club make their way out of the funeral home. She caught Opie's eye as he made his way down the steps. She watched him slow down before quickening his steps.
As soon as he was within arms reach, he reached out and pulled them into his arms.
One moment they were calmly standing or walking around and the next chaos had erupted. People started dropping down onto the ground to avoid being hit.
Opie had pushed both Lyla and Carrie onto the ground although he had tried to be more careful of the latter and covered them with his own body.
Once things had somewhat settled down. Opie helped both Lyla and Carrie up before checking them over for any injuries.
"I'm fine. Just a little shaken," Carrie shakily said.
Opie looked towards Lyla who nodded in answer to his silent question reassuring him that she was fine.
Any other question he might have had was cut off when Jax started bashing one of the gunmen's face against the pavement.
It took both Opie and Bobby to pull him off and even then he was still struggling against them.
Hearing his name called out, Opie looked over towards the crowd. Noticing Lyla desperately point and start heading towards the street. Looking in the direction she was heading he saw Carrie quickly making her way where Unser and Jacob Hale were crowded around a body.
"Shit," he said letting go of Jax; knowing whose body they were crowding around.
He started running in an attempt to reach Carrie before she reached them. He tried to intercept her but she managed to dodge his first attempt.
Wrapping his arms around her, he was cautious of her baby bump as he tightened his arms around her as she struggled to shrug him off and break free.
"Let me go Ope. I need to go and help David," she softly said; her voice breaking.
"There's nothing you can do Carrie," Opie softly said as he turned her around.
Opie noticed Jax making his way towards them before he let go of Carrie and started guiding her towards the sidewalk where they were far from the crowd and away from where David's body lay.
As soon as Jax was within arm's reach, he pulled Carrie into his arms.
He watched Opie walk over to Lyla who stood a couple of feet away from them in order to give them some privacy.
"It's going to be okay," Jax softly reassured her; rubbing one hand across her back. "You're going to be okay."
He kissed Carrie's head and tightened his arms as he felt her start to shake. He knew that she wasn't on good terms with Hale the past month or so but that was her baby's father. So her reaction was only natural. After all it was because of Hale that she had been able to move on from the loss of their baby. David had been there for her when he should have been.
Resting his cheek on her head. He thought back to the conversation he had with Hale earlier in the week. He didn't know how he was going to fulfill his promise to Hale with everything going on but he knew he was going to do his best.
There you have the first chapter to this story. Please leave a review on whether you loved, liked or disliked and why. As well as any predictions or suggestions you may have, which are very welcome. Once again I would like to know who you picture as Carrie when reading this, I am looking forward to reading your responses. Any questions don't be afraid to PM me.