I sit on my comfortable, beige bed as I look through stacks of old clothes, books, magazines, and stuffed animals. I need to have my things together by the end of the night, and with that comes responsibility. Which items should I bring with me as I begin this new chapter of my life? Which items should I leave behind?
I shutter as I pick up a black wool sweater, with a pink heart imprinted smack in the middle. I can't believe I wore this less than a year ago! What was I thinking leaving the house dressed like a giant kindergartener? I guess my fifteen year-old self didn't know the difference between dressing like a child, and dressing like a woman.
"Aria honey?" I hear my mother's voice call out to me.
She probably wants to come in here and help me pack. Even though I don't want her advice, I know that these past couple of days have been difficult for her. My mom realizes that in a way, she's letting her baby bird fly out of the next, and experience the real world on her own. Little does my mom know, I'm not a baby bird anymore. And my wings are strong enough to take me wherever I want to go. Nevertheless, she's struggling, so I decide to flatter her.
"You can come in." I say as I throw the sweater in the "things to throw away" pile.
My mom opens the door, and I sigh when I realize that salty tears are streaming down her face. I'm only leaving for two months, and she acts like I'm going away to college.
"Hello sweetheart. Do you need any help packing?" My mom asks as she makes an effort to wipe away the tears that are pouring out of her eyes.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do need help. I want to hurry up and finish packing, so I can get to bed early. Plus, it wouldn't kill me to spend some time with my mother.
"Yeah, that would be great." I say with a nod.
A smile forms on my mother's face, and she eagerly takes a seat next to me on the bed. A startled gasp escapes from my lips when my mom pigs up my stuffed pig, Petunia, and places the soft toy in my lap. Up until this moment, I've tried not to think about what to do with Petunia. I've slept with her every night since I war born, but what would my friends think if they knew I still slept with a stuffed animal? They'd never let me live it down! Finally, I decide that if I'm old enough to live on my own, I'm old enough to sleep without Petunia. I sigh, before placing the pig into the "things to throw away" pile.
My mom's eyes grow wide with shock when she sees me abandon Petunia. She quickly takes the pig out of the pile, and holds the toy close to her.
"Aria, I think you put Petunia in the wrong pile." My mom says as she holds the pig out for me.
I shake my head, and refuse to take the toy back. A look of sadness and concern washes over my mother's face and it bothers me so much that I contemplate kicking her out.
"Honey, what makes you want to throw her away all of a sudden?" My mother asks me curiously.
"Mom, I'm sixteen now. Don't you think I'm a little old to sleep with pieces of wool stitched together?" I ask as I roll my eyes in annoyance.
"Petunia is more than that Aria! You've slept with her since you were a baby!" My mother reminds me.
"It doesn't matter. I don't want her anymore." I say before putting the pig back in the "things to throw away" pile.
To my dismay, my mother takes the pig out of the pile less than a second later. Why can't she realize that I'm a grown up now? I don't need a stupid pig to make me feel safe anymore.
"Mom, I told you I don't want her anymore." I say in annoyance.
"I know, but do you mind if I hold on to Petunia for you? Who knows, you might change your mind about her after summer ends." My mom says as runs her hands along the soft pig's head.
"Sure. I'm not going to change my mind, but if it makes you feel better, you can keep the stupid pig." I say before turning to face the seemingly endless piles of clothes.
My mom looks upset, but she doesn't say anything about it. We continue to sort through my things, and argue about which items are worth keeping, and which items belong in the "things to throw away" pile. After what seems like eternity, everything is finally sorted. Now we've finished the tedious task, I expect my mom to leave, but she doesn't move. Instead, she sits on the bed and does not say a word.
"You know we're finished, right?" I ask as I raise en eyebrow.
"I know. I was just thinking..." My mom starts to say.
"About?" I ask her curiously.
"Maybe you should spend this summer with me and your father. It's not to late to change your plans." My mom blurts out suddenly.
I scoff at my mother's words. Does she really think I want to change my plans? I spent months convincing my parents that I'm old enough and mature enough to live with Tala, Hera, Olga, and Jenny for the summer.
After moving to Iceland with my family for my sophomore year of high school, I met these four girls, who quickly became my best friends. In a way, each girl replaced one of my friends from Rosewood. Tala is smart and driven, just like Spencer Hastings. Hera is a light-hearted fashionista, just like Hanna Marin. Olga is a sweet and loyal jock, just like Emily Fields. And Jenny... Jenny is something else. Just like Alison DiLaurentis. Oh who am I kidding? Jenny is Alison DiLaurentis on steroids!
Like my family, Jenny's family decided to move to Iceland for a few years. We were the only two American girls at our school, so we quickly bonded. After a few weeks at our school, Jenny befriended Tala, Hera, and Olga. The five of us became inseparable within days, and soon we were ruling the hallways.
That's why I was crushed when during the last quarter of my sophomore year, my parents decided that we were moving back to America after summer ended. I walked to Jenny's house crying, and she came up with a brilliant plan. She realized that if my parents wanted to go back to America, there was no stopping them. Instead of wasting our time and energy trying to convince my parents to let me stay in Iceland for the rest of high school, we decided to make the most out of our last few months together.
Jenny asked her wealthy parents to rent a house for the five of us to live in this summer. They agreed in a heartbeat, but I still had my parents to convince. They were not to keen on the idea of me living on my own for an entire summer, but I reminded them that they raised me to be strong-willed and independent. After several tearful arguments, they finally agreed to let me move in with my friends this summer. I've been waiting for this for months, and my dream summer finally starts tomorrow! Does my mom really think she's going to talk me out of this?
"Mom, I'm going. We agreed, and I'm not changing my mind." I say with sternness in my voice.
That's all it takes for my mother to break down completely. She begins to cry, and hold me so tightly that I can barely breathe. I lay in her arms awkwardly, as I wait for her to explain her sudden outburst.
"Oh Aria. I know you think you're a grown up now, but you're only sixteen. Please be careful while you're away. Don't do anything you're going to regret." My mom begs.
What is she talking about? What's the biggest mistake I could make? Maybe I drink too much, and get a killer hangover. Big deal. She's freaking out over nothing. But for the second time tonight, I decide to flatter my mother.
"Don't worry. I won't do anything I'll regret." I mutter.
Line Break
I sit in my small but cozy summer bedroom and unpack my bags. My parents dropped me off about an hour ago, and I'm struggling to get my new room organized. There isn't a lot of storage or closet space, and I brought a lot of stuff with me.
"Aria, are you almost done?" I hear Jenny call to me from outside of the room.
I look at the piles of clothes and let out an audible sigh. I'm not almost done. It could take me the rest of the summer to finish unpacking! For a minute, I wish my mom were here to help me. I quickly brush the idea to the back of my mind, and remind myself that this summer is going to be a happy, and parent free one. I don't need my mom here. The only person I need is myself.
"Yeah, I'm almost done." I lie.
"Good! The four of us are downstairs waiting for you. Some guests are coming over in about an hour." Jenny says with enthusiasm in her voice.
Guests? Knowing Jenny, she probably invited a group of college boys to come and keep us company for the night. Unlike my friends, the thought of having guys here makes me feel uneasy. I've never even kissed a boy before, and now there's going to be a group of them in our living room.
I need to get over this nonsensical fear. I'm going to have to interact with guys eventually, and isn't this summer about trying new things? Who knows, maybe I'll have my first kiss tonight!
I get off my bed, and follow Jenny downstairs. We arrive in the living room where Hera, Olga, and Tala are drinking beer. I grab myself a bottle, and make myself comfortable on the couch.
"So who is coming over?" I ask Jenny curiously.
"Some hot boys who go to the university. They live down the street from us, and I have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time with them this summer." Jenny says as she winks at me.
"How many are there?" Hera asks our friend curiously.
"I think like seven. That means that two of us can do more than one guy." Jenny says with a coy smile.
What does she mean "do" more than one guy? I know that none of my friends are virgins, but are they really willing to have sex with guys they've never met? Suddenly, I get a very uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Before I can say anything, or ask any questions, the doorbell to the house begins to ring.
Tala springs to her feet, and answers the door to seven sexy college men. My eyes dart over to a tall, handsome man with dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He is without a doubt the hottest guy in the group, and Jenny will probably make him her target.
"Hey guys. Why don't you all take a seat in the middle of the room, and we can play a game?" Jenny suggests with a twinkle in her eyes.
"What kind of game?" The blue-eyed boy asks as he fixes he gaze upon Jenny's well-endowed chest.
"Seven minutes in heaven." She says without an ounce of hesitation.
All seven of the boys nod, before forming a circle in the middle of the living room. I take a seat between Olga and Hera, and try to keep myself from throwing up out of nervousness.
"So for those of us who don't know how to play, here are the rules. Someone takes a bottle, and spins it. When the bottle lands on someone, they have to go into a dark room with whoever spun the bottle, and do whatever that person says." Jenny says as she grabs an empty bottle and places it in the center of the circle.
"Sounds like a fun game." I hear one of the boys mutter.
"How about Oskar goes first?" Jenny asks as she batts her eyelashes not so innocently.
So his name is Oskar? I was right about Jenny making him her target. Oskar spins the bottle, and it goes around the circle a few times before landing on a dark-haired boy. Everyone in the room bursts into laughter, and Oskar's cheeks turn bright red.
"That's not fair! I want to go again." He says with a pout.
"Sorry, but you have to go into the closet with him. It's part of the rules." Jenny says with a smirk.
"Eric let's go. We're not doing anything in that closet, just so everyone is clear." Oskar mutters before springing to his feet, and leading Eric to the closet.
After seven minutes go by, the two boys make their way out of the closet. Everyone is still laughing about Oskar landing on that Eric kid.
"Did you two have fun in there?" Olga asks the boys in her thick, Icelandic accent.
"No." Oskar says immediately.
"Come on! You two must have done something fun! Maybe some fondling here and there?" Tala asks as she raises an eyebrow.
"Oh shut up Tala." Jenny says as she rolls her eyes in annoyance.
"Since I had to sit in a closet with that loser for seven minutes, I should get the next spin." Eric tells the group.
Some of the boys silently protest, but Jenny hands him the bottle anyway.
"Try to land on a girl this time." Jenny tells Eric.
Eric nods, before spinning the bottle. Everyone waits anxiously, and my heart sinks in my chest when the bottle lands on me. I don't want to do this.
"That's a good spin Eric." One of the boys says as he nudges his friend playfully.
Eric nods before standing up, and motioning for me to follow him. But I don't move. I can't move.
"Aria, hurry up. We're not getting any younger." Tala says as she rolls her eyes in annoyance.
"Jenny, I don't want to go." I say, hoping she'll get me out of this.
But Jenny doesn't stop the game, or offer me any comforting words. No. She just stares at me furiously.
"What do you mean you don't want to go? It's part of the game Aria." Jenny growls.
"B-but..." I start to say.
"But nothing! Either you play fairly, or you don't play at all. If you don't want to play, you can go upstairs to your room and write in that stupid journal of yours." Jenny spits out.
All the boys begin to laugh, and salty tears begin to stream down my face. Why does she have to be so damn mean? Jenny didn't have to humiliate me in front of everyone.
"Are coming or not?" Eric asks me.
I don't say anything. Instead, I spring to my feet and follow Eric into the dark and narrow closet.
As soon as I shut the door, I feel Eric's lips on mine. I've never kissed a boy before, so I mimic his actions and hope that I'm doing it right. The kiss gets more and more heated, and Eric roughly pushes me up against the wall. I gasp when he slips his hand underneath my shirt, and gives my left breast a squeeze.
"I want you to suck my dick." He whispers in a low, and husky voice.
What? This must be breaking a rule. He can't make me give him a blow-job. Or can he? No, I'm not going to do it. I don't care if I upset Eric.
"No." I say as I push Eric off me.
"What do you mean no?" Eric growls furiously.
"I mean no! I don't want to suck anything." I say as bravely as I can.
Eric responds by pushing me to the ground, and crawling on top of me. He pulls my black skirt down, and then takes off my underwear. What the hell? I feel like I'm going to puke.
"Eric stop." I say through my tears.
But he doesn't stop. Eric unzips his jeans, and I gasp when he takes them off completely. This boy is going to rape me.
"Help! Someone help me!" I say through my sobs.
No one helps me.
"Shut up you little bitch." Eric says before covering my mouth with his hand.
I respond by biting his hand as hard as I can. Eric screams out in agony, before slapping me across the face forcefully. I clutch my cheek and pain, before bursting into tears.
All the sudden, the door to the closet bursts open. I sigh in relief when I see Jenny standing in the doorway. After she hears about what Eric tried to do to me, she'll kick the boys out, and apologize for making me go into the closet with him.
"What's going on in here? Why were you two screaming?" Jenny asks us.
"Jenny, he tried to hurt me." I say through my tears.
"Please! All I wanted was a blow-job, and she wouldn't give me one. Aria broke the rules." Eric tells my friend.
"Aria, come upstairs with me now." Jenny says with furry in her voice.
I nod, before springing to my feet and following Jenny upstairs. As soon as we get to my room, she slams the door and begins to give me a lecture.
"What the hell was that Aria?" She screams at me.
"Jenny, I told him no! I told him no and he took my clothes off..." I start to say.
"You're not allowed to say no Aria! It's part of the game!" She hisses in annoyance.
"But that's not fair! He wanted me to give him head." I say with a shutter.
"It doesn't matter! You have to do what the guy says in seven minutes in heaven! Besides, it's not like it's a big deal." Jenny says with an eye roll.
"It might not be a big deal to you, but it's a big deal to me." I say as I cross my hands over my chest.
"Dammit Aria! When are you going to grow up? This is supposed to be the best summer of our lives, and you're ruining everything! I don't care if you want to die a virgin, but the rest of us want to have some fun. You're holding everyone else back, and if you're not going to follow my rules, you're not allowed to stay here anymore." Jenny shouts furiously.
She's really not going to let me stay here? All because I didn't go down on some horny college boy?
"Jenny, you're being ridiculous." I say as I begin to raise my voice.
"I'm not being ridiculous! I'm just not going to sit by and let you ruin our summer. So either go downstairs and finish the round with Eric, or call Mommy and Daddy and have them pick you up." Jenny tells me sternly.
I don't want to go back into that closet with Eric, but I don't want to call my parents either. I can just imagine the looks on their faces when I call and tell them I want to come home. They'll continue to see me as a child, and I can't have that.
I storm out of the room without saying a word to Jenny. When I renter the living room, everyone is staring at me. I turn to face Eric, and sigh before opening my mouth to speak.
"Come on. We're redoing the round." I tell him flatly.
Eric's face lights up, but his enthusiasm quickly deteriorates.
"Are you going to bite me again?" He asks me curiously.
"No. I promise." I say as I walk into the closet.
Less than ten seconds later Eric joins me, and he slams the door behind him. I don't wait for him to say anything. Instead, I drop to my knees and do exactly what he told me to do the first time.
Line Break
I sit with my five best friends in the living room, as we drink beer and listen to our favorite song. I can't believe it's been two months since we moved into the white house at the end of the street. This summer has been filled with laughs, memories, and boys. Unfortunately, it all ends after this weekend. We have two more nights before we have to go back to our families, and I'm honestly dreading it. I wish this summer could last forever.
All of the sudden, "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus comes on. Jenny screams out, before springing to her feet and dancing around the room wildly.
"Dance with me! This is my favorite song!" Jenny exclaims.
The four of us stand up, and dance around the room happily. For the three minutes that the song is playing, I don't have a care in the world. The only thing I focus on is the music, and my four friends, who are dancing around me.
I let out a disappointed sigh when the song ends. I sit back down, and take a sip of beer. As I'm swallowing, Olga opens her mouth so speak.
"Wow Aria! You're a dirtier dancer than Hera!" Olga says through her laughter.
I begin to laugh so hard, that beer spills out of my nose. This summer Jenny took us to a wild party, and this boy asked Hera to give him a lap-dance. She obliged, and he supposedly came in his pants. Then he looked right at Hera and said, "Damn you're a dirty dancer."
"No! That title belongs to me. Aria never made a guy come just by grinding on his erection." Hera reminds us.
"Point well taken." Tala says before shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
At that moment, the doorbell begins to ring. Who could that be? It's probably a group of boys. Every night, Jenny invites a new group over, and I've made out with a few hot Icelandic guys as a result. To think I used to be afraid of anyone with a penis is hilarious!
Jenny opens the door, and I gasp when I see who's standing in the doorway. It's the seven boys who came over on the first night of summer. What are they doing here? Eric smirks at me, and my heart begins to beat rapidly. Eric is the only guy I've ever done anything sexual with, and after we finished playing seven minutes in heaven, he emerged from the closet announced that I was great at giving head. After that, I swore to never suck a guy's penis again.
"What are you boys doing here?" Jenny asks them.
"We heard you ladies were leaving town after this weekend, and we thought the twelve of us could have some fun." Oskar says as he winks at Jenny.
Jenny sighs, and pretends to think about her options. She's so pretty, and I wish I could be as confident as she is.
"Girls, what do you think? Should we let them in?" Jenny asks as she turns to face us.
Olga, Hera, and Tala nod their heads eagerly, but I just stand there with a blank expression on my face. I don't want to be around Eric, or any of these guys for that matter.
"Well, it looks like my girls are willing to put up with you. Guys, come on in." Jenny says as she lets the boys into the house.
"Can we play seven minutes in heaven? The last time I played that game was quite the experience." Eric says as he winks at me.
"Seven minutes in heaven is so two months ago! Let's just dance!" Jenny exclaims as she turns on the stereo.
Everyone begins to dance to the music, and Tala is already hooking up with this kid named Dan in the middle of the living room. I'm just swaying and minding my business when I feel someone grinding on me. I bet it's that stupid Eric! I turn around to give him an earful, but I gasp in shock when I realize that it isn't Eric. It's Oskar.
It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
I smile in content as Oskar holds me close to him, while we dance to "Hot in Here" by Nelly. For the first time, the hottest boy in the room is paying attention to me, and not one of my gorgeous friends.
I glance across the room and see Jenny making out with one of the boys. I'm glad she's preoccupied, because if she weren't there is no way she'd let me dance with Oskar! Last time the boys were here, Oskar and Jenny had sex upstairs, and she has a strict rule that none of us can hook up with one of her old flings. But I might be willing to break the rules this one time.
"Hey, do you want to go for a walk?" Oskar whispers to me.
"What if Jenny realizes we're gone?" I ask him.
"Who cares?" He questions.
"She might be mad." I say in a hushed voice.
"Again, who cares?" He questions.
I sure as hell don't, so grab Oskar's hand and lead him out the front door.
Line Break
Oskar and I lay together on the hammock in the front yard, and look at the stars above us. He holds me close to him, and kisses me ever so often.
"Isn't it beautiful?" I ask Oskar suddenly.
"Huh?" He asks me with confusion in his voice.
"The sky. Isn't it beautiful?" I ask him for the second time.
"To be honest, I haven't really been paying attention to the sky. I've been to busy staring into your beautiful hazel eyes." He tells me softly.
That's all it takes for me to lean into Oskar, and kiss him passionately. He kisses me back, and soon we're making out intensely on the hammock.
"Can I take you to my car?" Oskar asks as he breaks the kiss.
I nod, but wonder why he wants to go to his car when we can kiss under the moonlight.
"Do you know why I take the cutest girls to my car?" He asks me curiously.
I shake my head vigorously.
"It's because when I was little, my father wanted me to be a soccer player. The only problem was that I hated the sport, and insisted upon being a race car driver. My father resented me for it, and I think part of him still does. But every time I take a girl to my car, I'm proving that I can still be a race car driver and score." He says before winking at me.
Oskar's words cause me to burst into laughter. He's so funny, and he looks so handsome in his bright red shirt. That's why I extend my hand, and let him lead me to his old Mercedes.
I climb into the cracked backseat, and wait for him to join me. I can't help but realize how hot it is here and how much the car smells like gasoline. Moments later Oskar enters the car, and positions himself on top of me. Next, he takes off my shirt, and begins to kiss my breasts. For the first time, I realize how fast we're going.
"Oskar..." I start to say.
"Sh-Sh." He says before pressing his lips against mine eagerly.
Oskar continues to kiss me with so much force, that I worry my lips will somehow bruise. But I don't mind, because I like the way he kisses me. I kiss him back with just as much force, and he moans in my mouth.
"Y-you're so beautiful Aria." He whispers to me.
A shiver goes down my spine. No guy has ever told me that I'm beautiful. Even though I've kissed several boys in the past, I've never felt this way before. Could this be love? If it is, I hope this feeling never fades.
"O-Oskar, I think I love you." I say with as much courage as I can.
Oskar doesn't respond, but he offers me a soft smile as he kisses my forehead gently. Then he reaches for the zipper on my jeans. I know where this is heading, so I quickly grab his hand before he can continue.
"Oskar, what are you doing?" I ask him softly.
"I thought you wanted this as much as I do." He says as a look of disappointment washes over his face.
I know I should pull away, but every cell in my body is screaming for me not to. I know it might be reckless to sleep with a guy who I've only met twice, but I've never felt this way before. My entire body is aching for Oskar.
"I-I want it." I say as I stare into his blue eyes.
Oskar responds by taking off my jeans, and placing his hand between my legs. Before he can do anything, I stop him for the second time tonight.
"I-I'm a virgin." I tell him softly.
"Don't worry. I'll take good care of you." Oskar assures me.
The first time he thrusts into me hurts. It hurts a lot. My friends warned me that it would, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. Tears begin to pour out of my eyes, and I gasp when I see blood streaming down my legs. Are you supposed to bleed like this? Oskar doesn't seem to notice that I'm in pain, because he continues to move in and out of me forcefully. I really want him to stop.
"I-I don't like this." I tell my partner.
But he doesn't say anything, and he doesn't stop what he's doing.
"O-Oskar please stop. This hurts." I say as I begin to sob.
"Would you shut up?" He growls furiously.
Did he just tell me to shut up? I gave my virginity to him, and he's telling me to shut up? For the first time, I realize that this was a mistake. Oskar is a mistake. That's why I build up the courage to push him away from me.
"What the fuck Aria?" Oskar screams as he grabs my hands and pins them above my head.
I try to break free of his strong grasp, but he's so much bigger than I am.
"Oskar, let me go. What is your problem?" I ask through my tears.
"What's my problem? This is my fucking problem Aria!" Oskar shouts before grabbing my hand and placing it over his manhood.
I shutter at the feeling of his exposed penis. He's so big, and so hard.
"You did this to me Aria! You got me all worked up, and I need a release. You told me you'd have sex, and that's what we're going to do! We're going to finish what you started, and I have no problem doing it the hard way." Oscar says through his gritted teeth.
I don't want him to make this any worse than it already is, so I simply nod. I close my eyes as Oskar thrusts into me, and pray that this will be over soon. After what seems like eternity, Oskar moans, and his warm fluid fills me up. Did he not use protection?
"Did you use a condom?" I ask Oskar through my tears.
"No, I thought you were on the pill." He says as he shakes his head vigorously.
"I told you I was a virgin! Why would I be on the pill?" I ask him furiously.
"I don't know, but it's not my problem. Why should I care if you get pregnant?" He asks with a smirk.
"You know what Oskar? You're an ass!" I scream at him.
"Well you're a slut. A dumb, high school slut." He says before spitting on my face, and leaving the car.
I watch as Oskar slams the door to the car and walks into my house. As soon as he is out of sigh, I begin to weep bitterly. What have I done?
Line Break
I hide under the covers of my bed, and try to keep the tears from falling. My body hurts, but heart hurts even more. I always thought my first time would be special, and that I'd remember it for the rest of my life. Although I probably won't forget sleeping with Oskar, I desperately wish I could.
I wish I had someone to talk to about this. If I tell any of my friends that I slept with Oskar, they'll tell Jenny, and she'll kill me for sleeping with one of her flings! My eyes dart over to the phone on my nightstand, and I think about calling my mom. She calls me almost everyday, but I never answer. Will she answer my call? I know I wouldn't.
Nevertheless, I grab my phone and dial my mom's number. I wait anxiously, and gasp in shock when she picks up on the second ring. Even though I gave up on her months ago, she still hasn't given up on me.
"Aria honey! You have no idea how happy I am that you called!" My mother exclaims.
The sound of my mother's voice causes me to burst into tears. I try to control my sobs, but I'm unsuccessful.
"Oh sweetheart! What's wrong?" My mom asks with concern in her voice.
"N-nothing. I j-just w-wanted t-to s-s-say hi." I say as I begin to choke on my own tears.
"Something is wrong Aria! Are you hurt? Do you need me to pick you up early?" My mom asks me softly.
All the sudden, the thought of my mom picking me up sounds wonderful. I just want her to hold me in her arms, and promise me that everything will be okay.
"C-can you?" I ask her hopefully.
"Yes, I'm already in the car." My mother says through the sound of the garage door opening.
"Thank you." I tell her softly.
"Aria, I'm worried about you. Can you please just tell me what's wrong?" My mother begs,
"I made a terrible mistake." I say as I begin to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.
"Honey we all make mistakes!" My mom assures me.
"Not like mine." I say with a whimper.
"Honey, did someone pressure you into doing something you weren't ready for?" My mom asks me gently.
I continue to cry, and I hear my mom sigh in the background. She probably thinks I'm a slut, just like Oskar and Eric do. My mom will hate me once she knows the truth.
"Aria, I'll kill him. Just give me a name, and I'll make him wish he were never born..." My mom starts to say.
"Mom stop. I-I let him touch me. At first I wanted him to, but then I changed my mind." I say through my tears.
"Oh baby, it's okay. I promise it's okay..." My mom starts to say.
"B-but it's not okay. So much has happened this summer, and I tried to be someone who I'm not. Now I've lost myself, and I don't even know who I am anymore." I say as more tears begin to stream down my face.
"Aria, we all lose ourselves sometimes. I don't know about everything that happened this summer, but I know you're going to be okay. I'll pick you up tonight, and you can tell me everything. We're going back to Rosewood in a week, and you can have a fresh start. Does that sound nice honey?" My mom asks me.
I never thought going back to Rosewood would sound nice, but it does. Being anywhere but here sounds nice.
"It does. I'll start packing so we can leave right away." I say with a sniffle.
"Okay baby girl. I'll be there in no time, just hang tight." My mom says before having up the phone.
A startled gasp escapes from my lips when the door to my bedroom bursts open. Hera, Olga, Tala, and Jenny stand in the doorway, and glare at me furiously.
"Mommy I've lost myself! Come pick me up!" Jenny says in a mocking voice.
My three "friends" burst into laughter, and I shake my head angrily. Were they listening to my conversation with my mother?
"We know you had sex with Oskar. He told us and the guys everything." Tala says with a smirk.
"I made a mistake." I say as I avoid looking into Jenny's eyes.
"Yeah, and we made a mistake by hanging out with a loser like you." Hera says as she shakes her head.
"Why am I a loser? Because I don't want to put out for every guy who looks at me? Because I don't want to smoke pot? Because I'm not as fast as you girls are?" I ask as I begin to raise my voice.
"Don't you get it Aria? You have smoked pot, and you have slept with a guy who meant nothing to you. Like it or not, you're not above us. You're one of us." Jenny screams at me.
"No, I'm really not. I've been acting like you girls, and maybe that's who I was starting to become, but it's not who I am." I tell Jenny.
"Well, whoever you are, you're no longer welcome in this house. Pack your things, get out, and never speak to us again." Jenny says as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"I've already packed." I say as I grab my suitcase, walk past the girls.
I'm about to leave the room, but there's one last thing I'd like to say to my "friends."
"Before I go, I want to thank you all." I say as I turn to face them.
"For what?" Olga asks with confusion in her voice.
"For helping me grow up. This summer taught me that drinking and having meaningless sex doesn't make you mature, it makes you a loser. A few minutes ago I thought I had lost myself, but I was wrong. After this experience, I think I know myself better than I ever have." I say before walking out of the white house, and their lives forever.
Line Break
I lay next to my boyfriend of one year and smile to myself as I listen to him laugh in his sleep. Ezra and I had sex for the first time last night, and it was the most magical experience of my life. He was so loving and gentle with me, and it was nothing like the horrible experience I had with Oskar.
I think about that summer, and tears begin to form in my eyes. Do Oskar and my old friends think about me as much as I think about them? It seems like they should, considering I gave so much of myself to them.
"Aria, why are you crying?" I hear Ezra's gentle voice ask me.
I turn to face my boyfriend, and he doesn't hesitate to pull me close to him. Ezra kisses my forehead softly as he strokes my dark hair. His touches are so tender, that I begin to cry even harder.
"Are you sore? I didn't hurt you last night, did I?" Ezra asks as his eyes grow wide with worry.
"Of course you didn't hurt me Ezra! You were perfect, and I love you." I say before offering him a soft kiss on the lips.
"So why the tears?" He asks me curiously.
"I-I was just thinking." I say with a sniffle.
"About?" Ezra asks.
"About how I wish my first time had been with you, and not him." I tell my boyfriend.
Ezra sighs before pulling me in for a long hug. I breath in the smell of his cologne, and instantly feel myself relaxing in his arms.
"You know Aria, this could still could count as your first time if you want it to." He says as he raises an eye brow.
"How?" I ask with confusion in my voice.
"Your first time having sex was with Oskar, but your first time making love was with me." Ezra says as his voice softens.
Ezra's words make me so happy that I start to cry tears of joy. Then I start to laugh. Then I start to cry again.
"You always know what to say. It's one of the many things I love about you." I tell my boyfriend truthfully.
"Can I tell you one of the many things I love about you?" Ezra asks me hopefully.
"Of course." I say with an eager nod.
"I love how you still sleep with Petunia." Ezra says as grabs the stuffed animal, and holds it up to me.
"So you don't think it's childish?" I ask him with a blush.
"I think it's adorable." Ezra says as he shakes his head.
"And waking up next to a stuffed pig doesn't creep you out?" I ask as I raise an eyebrow.
"Maybe it did at first, but it's worth it. I love Petunia because she makes you so happy." Ezra says before pressing his lips against mine.
I kiss Ezra back, and we continue to make-out for a solid ten minutes. Finally, I pull away breathlessly.
"Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast." Ezra offers.
"I'm okay. The only think I want right now is for you to hold me." I say as I state into Ezra's blue eyes.
"I'd love that." Ezra mutters before pulling me close to him.
I smile at my boyfriend, before closing my eyes and letting my mind wander. As horrible as that summer was, I'm not sorry that it happened. For the first time, I realize that I love Ezra and my friends more because of what happened. I know what true love is, and I know what real friendships are. Most importantly, I know who I am and who I want to become in the future. I have the white house at the end of the street to thank for that.
What did you think? As I wrote in the summary, this story is based on the song White Houses by one of my favorite musicians, Vanessa Carlton. I specifically remember reading the Pretty Little Liars book series, and hearing Aria say that she slept with a guy named Oskar, even though she didn't love him. With that in mind, I decided to write a one-shot addressing some of the things that have been bothering me. So now that I'm a junior in high school, a lot of my best friends are going to high school and college parties, and they are being pressured by boys and their other "friends" to do things they aren't comfortable with. I feel like everyone goes through this a some point in their life, and I hope everyone handles the peer pressure better than Aria did in this story! I hope everyone noticed that Aria was making terrible decisions from the start of the story, and her sleeping with Oskar shouldn't have come as a complete surprise to anyone. She continued to put herself in bad situations by hanging out with girls who were "faster" than she was, drinking underaged, and playing that stupid seven minutes in heaven game! Whether it's a girl who's pressuring you to do drugs, or a boy who's pressuring you to have sex, that person isn't a friend! No one should ever have to do anything that they aren't comfortable with, and a real friend should understand that. I think Aria's biggest mistake was putting herself in this horrible environment, and thinking she could handle it because she was an "adult." She was constantly trying to prove to her parents and her friends that she could take care of herself, and she wasn't a little kid. This attitude lead her to do a lot of things that she later regretted. Also, I don't know how you feel about the subject, but in a way what Oskar did to Aria could constitute as rape. She told him no after the fact, but he didn't stop, and that's not okay. Rape is a major problem in society, and it's never the girls fault, but we can all do things to prevent it from happening to us. Don't be like Aria and go somewhere with a guy that you don't know well, and never take a drink from a guy you just met! My cousin's friend made this mistake, and the alcohol she was given had rape date drugs in it. She woke up naked in the middle of an ally with her two front teeth missing, and no recollection of what happened the night before. I'm not trying to upset anyone, and that was not my intention behind writing this one-shot or long authors note. I just want everyone to be smart about who they hang out with, and the the decisions that they make. Again, you never have to do anything you're not comfortable with, even if all your friends are doing it. That being said, that you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this story! Feel free to PM me if you're having issues with any of the things I addressed in this story! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving :)
