Alone
'Where is he? Where is he? Where is Shikamaru?" She was screaming, clawing at the hands that restrained her.
"Temari… he's dead."
Her world had ended right there.
"Dead? He can't be! You're lying! He can't be dead!" Denial. Disbelief.
"Temari…"
"He's the lazy genius of Konoha, for God's sakes, he's Nara Shikamaru, he can't be dead…" Her voice broke.
"He can't be…" she whispered. She bit her lip to stop it trembling. Disembodied voices soothed her. She didn't hear them. She didn't hear them shouting, pleading with her to come back when she ran. She ran, not knowing, not caring, where she was running to, or what she was running from. She stumbled blindly into people, her eyes misted with unbidden tears, yet still she ran.
Someone grabbed her and held her tight, even as she struggled against their grip.
"Temari, please…" She recognized that voice. Kankurou.
"Let's go back home." Another familiar voice. Gaara. Kankurou and Gaara. Her brothers. She felt herself being lifted, being carried. She struggled. She needed to get away. Dimly, she realized that her captor- Kankurou- was putting her down. She stumbled a bit and someone caught her arm. She wrenched it free.
"Temari, calm down," a voice- Gaara- pleaded. "We didn't do anything. There was nothing to be done. Shikamaru, he… he couldn't be saved…"
"Leave me alone," she said in a low voice, backing towards her old room.
"Temari-"
"Leave me alone!" she screamed, turning around and crashing into her room. She slammed the door behind. Angrily, she dashed the tears that dared to fall from her eyes.
He was gone. Gone.
It was the most frightening realization she had ever had.
Why was he dead? Why him/ How could he die? How could he leave her/ how was it even possible, goddamnit!
Goddamnit.
This wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to end like this…
But it had.
Somehow, it had.
And her world came crashing down.
"You bastard!" she screamed at mid-air. "You fucking bastard! How dare you let this happen? How dare you? Did you even think of what it might do to me?! Did you?"
He didn't reply. Of course he didn't reply, he's dead. Gone. Never coming back.
"Damn you, Shikamaru!" she yelled, turning and punching the wall, causing her knuckles to bleed. She collapsed against the wall, cradling her arm.
"Damn you…" she whispered, sliding down the wall. Only then did she allow the tears to fall.
That was a week previously. A week that felt like a year. Still she revisited that cursed day in her dreams. She had cried so much that day. Too much. She had allowed her strong façade to crumble, for one day. She had allowed grief to rule her. One day only. Then she had made herself go numb.
It was his funeral today. She had to say goodbye. She had come to his- their. She had come to their house one last time. She couldn't live there, not without him. There were too many memories.
I love you.
She could still feel him around, still hear him whispering her name.
I love you.
She still expected him to appear behind her, to see his arms wind around her waist.
I love you.
She blinked back tears that threatened to fall. No, she couldn't, wouldn't, cry. Not here. Not today.
I love you.
She should go. They would be wondering where she was. Making her way to the door, she spared the house one last glance before steeling herself and walking out into the harsh sunlight.
I love you.
o0o0o0o
And now you're gone
And I was wrong
I never knew what it was like
To be alone
On a Valentine's Day
-Valentine's Day, Linkin Park
-END-
A/N: Yeah, I know it's depressing. My one friend didn't even finish it and kept shouting at me because I had killed Shikamaru, ad the one who did finish it promptly hit me with a book- my book, just to add insult to injury. Anyway, please tell me what you thought, even if you absolutely hated- just tell me whether it was good or not, PLEASE. In a Loverly review. Please.