This is a Merlin version of 'Sometimes I wonder' from 'The pebble and the Penguin'. This is after Uther has died just before Merlin is captured by Morgana and tied to the cieling...yep!

Enjoy!

"Merlin? What are you doing?"

Merlin turned to look at the curious ex-prince, they had camped not far from the lake where Freya lay and he thought that he should pay a visit; apparently Arthur had- for once- noticed his servants' odd behavior and followed.

"Oh, I was just thinking" The warlock sighed and gazed across the lake, remembering his lost love, his destiny and the laws that still forced him to hide who he truly was.

The king scoffed; obviously humored by Merlin being able to think in the first place but his gaze lingered on the oddly worn expression on his servants face.

"And what could you possibly be thinking about, Merlin?"

"Just wondering what...no you'd just be a prat about it" he sighed, flopping down on the cold ground, watching the moonlight dance over the calm waters.

The blonde made his way toward the man and sat by him, pondering before he continued.

"Try me...You may be a complete fool at times Merlin but...I do enjoy your endless prattle- and sometimes you can even come up with something wise!" He smirked and glanced at his frie-servant to catch the others light smirk.

"I don't know I mean...some things you won't like-"

"Merlin"

"Alright! Alright" The warlock groaned, not wanting to suffer the stocks because of his masters' curiosity. Looking out to the lake he took a moment before singing softly, carefully sorting his thoughts.

"Sometimes I wonder
about destiny
What it really means
Like magic..."

Realizing his mistake he stopped and looked down. Arthur had suffered because of magic, if he spoke his thoughts now Arthur would hate him. Merlin couldn't bare to think what his friend would do if he learned the truth...

"I'm sorry..."

For a moment neither moved nor spoke.

"Go on."

Merlin looked up in shock; the king looked back at him calmly as his eyes urged him to continue. Looking away the servant sang again only slightly louder.

"Sometimes I wonder
If it's really true
What people say sorcerers do
When I look into
The fire"

Standing Merlin made sure that his expression could not be seen. Arthur stared at him as he continued, emotion seeping into his voice slightly.

"There's so many things that we
Just do not know
Like how they make see the world and live their lives
And then I wonder why
I wonder so
While others do not think that
It is wise"

The warlock shook his head, believing he was going to far and deciding to leave his opinions on magic there for now. Although he had never had to think much to know how his kin lived and thought, he had always had a fear of being discovered after all.

Arthur looked to him and stood up with a sigh before placing a hand on the taller mans' thin shoulder.

"You can't blame them, Merin. Some things are just to dangerous to think about"

"But still I can't help but think...It just reminds me of someone..." Merlins gaze returned to the water. The king noticed the underlying sadness in his tone and couldn't help but wonder himself, why Merlin thought this way or why the thoughts of one person could dampen his usually bright spirit.

"Who?"
The servant smiled widely yet his eyes remained sad as he recalled his time with Freya and began to sing, but this time part of him believed he was singing to her.

"One time there once was
someone right for me
Someone different like me
Someone who did wonder too
she was wonderful
That girl I know"

Merlins voice faltered for a moment and his sad smile slipped away, his sorrowful eyes looking down into the lake before he carried on.
"I knew"

Arthur swallowed as he realized the implications of his servants' words.

"You loved her." It was more a statement and a question

"I still do"

The kings eyes widened in shock, he looked away to gather his thoughts. The way Merlin spoke it was as if he wasn't only speaking to Arthur but another, a lost lover, but how could thinking about magic bring back memories of some girl back in Ealdor? In Camelot?

Suddenly it clicked. He felt awful, how could he not? He could have died when Gwen had been accused of being a witch, what would he have done if it had been true and was unable to stop it?

They stood in silence, the kings' hand still resting on his friends shoulder, because at that moment they were friends.

"I'm sorry"

"You are not to blame"

The next one may be the reprise of this song but I'm not sure...please R+R! ^W^