Aaron's Choice
-O-
DISCLAIMER: I am not connected to Emmerdale and its characters, which belong to ITV
-O-
It was a quiet day at the Woolpack. Harriet was holding a jumble sale at the village hall and most of the regulars were there. Chas and Charity were twiddling their thumbs behind the bar, their only customers being Jimmy King, Rakesh and Sam Dingle.
Suddenly, the phone rang and Chas answered it, pleased that she had something to keep her occupied for a couple of minutes. She spoke to the caller and Charity looked on, listening in on the conversation and looking at Chas quizzically. Chas finished the call and looked directly at Charity.
"Who was that?" Charity asked: she could see that Chas looked upset.
"It was Sandra," Chas had actually turned quite pale, "she said that Gordon's dead!"
"What?" Charity gasped, the look on her face was a mixture of surprise and incomprehension, "how did that happen?"
Chas was in shock: she poured herself a shot of whiskey and downed it quickly. The alcohol seemed to calm her nerves and she continued, "She didn't have any details, she's coming over to see Liv and let her know about her father. I'll have to tell Aaron."
Charity frowned, "How do you think he'll take it?"
"I don't know," Chas looked worried, "I just hope it doesn't upset him, you know how fragile he can be, in spite of the tough front he always puts up."
"He'll be okay," Charity tried to reassure her, "he hated him anyway."
Chas knew that Charity was trying to soften the blow in her usual terse way, "I know, but he was still his dad. He'll be upset, deep down."
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Aaron walked into David's shop and bumped into Pete Barton, who was choosing some ready-made sandwiches from the display.
"Hi Aaron," Pete greeted him cheerily.
"Good to see you back," Aaron replied, "I heard they'd released you."
"Yeah," Pete was pleased that most people in the village were not judging him for being locked up and he knew that Aaron had been in a similar situation in the past, "I was going to Scotland but something cropped up, so I'm still here. I saw your dad when I was inside."
"Oh?" Aaron still flinched when anyone mentioned his father, "I didn't think you knew him?"
"He looked me up when he found out that I was from Emmerdale. He wanted to give me that letter to pass on to you."
"What letter?"
"Didn't Robert give it to you?"
"What's Robert got to do with it?"
Pete realised that he might have let the cat out of the bag, "Sorry, I thought that you and Robert were..."
"We are!" Aaron cut in, "But I don't know anything about a letter."
"Sorry mate," Pete realised that he had inadvertently given the game away, "you'd better speak to Robert about it. He's got it."
Aaron was fuming. He was upset that Robert had obviously kept his father's letter from him. He intended to tackle Robert when he arrived back at the Woolpack. He arrived home and went straight from the side entrance into the back room. Chas happened to be making herself a cup of coffee.
"Where's Robert?" Aaron asked.
"How should I know?" Chas was never big on diplomacy, "I expect he's working hard somewhere: now he's co-owner of Home James and the scrap yard. Anyway, sit down, love, there's something I need to tell you."
Aaron could see that his mother was upset about something, so he sat down on the sofa and Chas sat next to him and took her son's hands in her own, "I've got some news for you, love...and I can't really dress this up: your father is dead."
Shock was not the word for the look on Aaron's face, "Dead? How? I mean, why? I mean..."
"I don't have all the details, but I heard from Sandra and she said that the prison had contacted her. She's upstairs just now."
"Poor Liv," Aaron looked upset for his little sister, "how am I going to tell her?"
Chas thought that is was so typical of Aaron to think of his sister first. She hugged him to her, "Don't worry about that! That's why Sandra is here, she's breaking the news to Liv."
"But I'm looking after her," Aaron reasoned, "I should be telling her."
"Anyway, never mind that," Chas drew back to look at her son, "how are you feeling?"
"I've done it again, haven't I?"
"What are you talking about?" Chas was bemused.
"He was only in there because of me," Aaron's eyes brimmed with tears, "I got him sent down and now he's dead."
"Oh, Aaron!" Chas hugged him again, "This has nothing to do with you, sweetheart."
"But, if I'd kept quiet about the things he did to me, he'd still be alive now."
"You were not to blame for his behaviour towards you when you were a defenceless kid. It was him in the wrong, not you."
"He's done it again, hasn't he? Even from beyond the grave, he can still get to me."
"No he can't, love," Chas gently stroked Aaron's hair, "You got justice and you're free now. He can't hurt you anymore."
Aaron took on board his mother's reassurances, but he was not necessarily convinced.
Just then, Robert opened the door and walked into the room. He saw Chas cuddling a distressed Aaron, "What's up?" he enquired.
Chas let go of her son and stood up. She decided that it was Aaron's place to break the news to his boyfriend, "I'll leave you two alone," she said as she left the room.
Robert sat down beside Aaron and put his arm around his shoulders, "What's happened? Why are you crying?"
Aaron looked at Robert, "It's my dad...he's dead."
"What? How did that happen?"
"I dunno. But, he was in that prison because of me, Robert. I've killed him! First Jackson, then Katie and now this! If I were you, I'd stay well away from me."
"That's ridiculous!" Robert was flabbergasted, "You had nothing to do with his death, or Jackson's or Katie's. Why do you keep beating yourself up like this?"
"But, I gave Jackson the poison because Hazel backed out and Katie would never have been at the farm if I hadn't called her there. Now, my dad wouldn't have been in prison if I had kept quiet."
Robert turned himself to face Aaron and gripped his shoulders, "Now listen to me, babe, you are not responsible for any of this. Jackson asked for your help to end it all and Katie's death was an accident. If I hadn't been so stupid and in denial: then you wouldn't have felt the need to try to expose our affair back then. If anyone's to blame for Katie's death, then it's me! As for your father, he deserved to die."
"Robert!" Aaron looked at his boyfriend with a stunned expression.
Robert felt that he might be speaking out of turn, "Sorry! I know he was your dad, but I can never forgive him for what he did to you when you were younger."
Aaron thought back to Pete's conversation in the shop earlier, "Anyway, where's the letter that you were supposed to give me?"
"Letter?" Robert instinctively tried to deny all knowledge of Gordon's last message to his son.
"Don't play dumb with me, Robert Sugden. I know that Pete Barton gave you a letter to pass on to me. Where is it?"
"I don't know...I must have lost it."
Aaron could always tell when Robert was hiding something, "Robert, I thought we said no more secrets and lies. You either tell me the truth about this letter, right now, or we're done. I mean it."
Robert knew that he would have to be honest if he had any chance at all of getting Aaron to trust him, "All right, if you must know, I burned it."
Aaron looked at him incredulously, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"I was going to give you the letter, but I heard you talking to Liv, saying that you didn't want anything to do with Gordon any more. I thought it would upset you if you saw the contents..."
"Wait a minute," Aaron held Robert's gaze, "you read it? A letter addressed to me and you read it?"
Robert looked sheepish: on the face of it he could see how his actions could look to Aaron like an invasion of his privacy.
"I don't believe this," Aaron looked shocked, "you actually read it and didn't tell me anything about it."
"Aaron, please, I was only trying to protect you. He was saying that he couldn't cope with everything being left how it was and he wanted you to go and see him and forgive him. He was still trying to control you Aaron and I didn't want you going on another downward spiral."
"So, let me get this straight," Aaron had a face like thunder, "you didn't want him to control me, so you decided to do that job for him?"
"It wasn't like that."
"What was it like, then? You say you were trying to protect me: but you're smothering me, Robert. Now my dad's dead and I didn't get to read his letter. I don't know if I can forgive you for this!"
Aaron pulled away from Robert, stood up, then exited the room without another word. Robert called his name in the vain attempt to get him to come back, but he knew that his boyfriend was very upset and would need time to calm down. So, he sat on the sofa and tears formed in his eyes. Had he blown his chances with Aaron? He could kick himself sometimes.
Just then, Chas returned and looked at Robert, "You look like you've lost a pound and found a penny," she said.
Robert decided to tell Chas about the letter. He apologised for his actions and Chas took the information on board.
"Well, You have been a total idiot, haven't you?" Chas looked sternly at her son's boyfriend, "But, at least you've come clean and I can see why you did it. I know that you love him, Robert, but you've got to let him make his own decisions about things, or he'll suffocate. I know my son and he won't thank you for wrapping him in cotton wool."
"But, I didn't want him to stress about his dad and start harming himself again."
"Look Robert, I know you're worried he might cut himself again if he gets upset, but you have to give him the dignity of choice. It should've been for him to decide if he wanted to read a letter from his father, not you. I know you're trying to help, love, but you're going the wrong way about it. Stop trying to control him, he'll resent it if you do."
"What am I going to do, Chas? I can't bear the thought of losing him again. He means everything to me."
Chas was touched by Robert's sincerity, "Give him a chance to calm down. I'm sure he'll think it through and he will see why you set fire to the letter and that it was supposedly for his benefit. He does love you, you know? I know he doesn't always show it, but that's just my Aaron. He's always been the same. Just because he's not all hearts and flowers it doesn't mean he hasn't got deep feelings for you. He'll come round, just give it time."
Robert could see that Chas had accepted the situation with their relationship and was grateful for her support, so he simply said, "Thanks, Chas," and left the room.
Chas had a little smile on her face. She had been a very vocal critic of Robert in the past, but she could see that he was now a positive influence in her son's life, so she resigned herself to the situation. She knew that Robert now had her son's back and that was all she could hope for.
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Later that day, Robert found Aaron sitting in the bedroom. He looked at him warily, "Are you still speaking to me?"
Aaron studied Robert carefully, "There's no need for sarcasm."
"I wasn't being sarcastic," Robert sat on the bed next to Aaron, "Look, I know I handled the situation all wrong. I should have given you that letter and I was going to. But, you sounded so upset about Gordon when you were speaking to Liv that I thought it best if you never saw the letter. I'm sorry, Aaron, truly I am. I've always only got your best interests at heart."
"I know you have," Aaron replied, "I did exactly the same thing with Liv, saying she couldn't go to her dad's sentencing. I was trying to protect her too by not telling her about it. But, promise me you'll never do anything like this again Robert. Let me make my own choices, okay?"
"Okay, I promise."
"You're a total moron sometimes," Aaron smiled, "but I know you were trying to help in your usual cack-handed way!"
"So," Robert drew a breath and hoped that Aaron was thawing, "does that mean I'm forgiven?"
Aaron knew that Robert was good for him. This man had proved himself and he knew that he would always be on his side, "What do you think?" Aaron leaned in to kiss Robert. The older man wrapped his hands around Aaron's face and the kiss deepened. The old animal instincts that they always felt for each other soon surfaced and they tugged at each other's clothes. Naked now, they lay together: skin to skin, feeling the warmth of each other's bodies as they breathed into one and other's mouths.
"I love you, Aaron Dingle," Robert sighed.
"I know you do...and I love you too, Robert."