Inner Demons
He made it to his room and began to pace, his fists clenched and his jaw tight. She'd never seen him so angry, so unreasonably infuriated. He suddenly grabbed his desk and threw it clear across the room with a strength she hadn't known he possessed. He was growling and inwardly screaming and before the contents of the desk could settle on his carpet he abruptly landed a punch into his wall, denting it deeply.
"Garfield!" She launched herself at him and placed her hands on his arms, concentrating so as to manipulate his emotions. "Stop it! You can't be like this."
"No!" spat and threw her off of him. "Don't touch me! Don't you fucking touch me!"
"You're not thinking straight," she said, holding her ground and refusing to let him intimidate or hurt her. "Your anger is blinding and numbing your senses."
"Did you not hear what that asshole said to me?" he advanced towards her, eyes aflame. "I am not a fucking animal!"
They'd been at a press conference, a yearly event, when a particularly crass reporter from a trash magazine began to tear into the changeling. He asked rude and inappropriate questions about everything from his sex life to his primal urges to theorizing that someday he may turn on the human race and become a raging beast. The reporter even had the gall to suggest that Beast Boy was not a team member as much as the Titans pet, obeying orders of his master, Nightwing. And that had been the final straw. The changeling had kept his cool and done his best to remain professional and dignified but after that accusation he'd blown up and in the end needed to be removed from the conference. It was quite the spectacle.
"Of course you're not," she said, remaining calm. "But tearing around your room isn't helping your case."
"So being angry means I'm a fucking beast now?!" he hollered. "I'm allowed to be fucking angry, Raven, I'm not you! If I get pissed off I'm not gonna throw a demon tantrum and bring forth the apocalypse. If I wanna punch a hole in the fucking wall," he did just that, "then I'm gonna punch a wall in the goddamn motherfucking wall!"
"And how does that make your feel better?" she crossed her arms. "How does destroying your room and breaking your hand ease your inner pain, Gar?"
"It doesn't but this is what humans do!" he seethed. "We get angry! We freak out and we express ourselves! This is what it's like to be human. And that means I'm not a goddamn animal!"
She watched him huff angrily and look down at his trembling clenched fists. She sighed and approached him, reaching out and grabbing his hand. She put forth her healing ability and took away his bloody, swollen, fractured knuckles. She felt the tension within the extremity melt and she placed his hand over her heart. "Yes. You are human. First and foremost you are a human, Garfield. You are entitled to emote and express yourself. But you are also a public figure and a respected defender of peace and justice. And therefore your behavior today was unacceptable and out of control, though completely understandable and in my opinion justified."
He felt his anger dissipating, he had a small inkling that she was using her powers to aid in this, and common sense returning. And with that sense came the regret he knew he'd feel. His shoulders slumped and he rubbed his hairline. "I'm sorry. I'm just… I don't know." He dragged himself over to his bed and flopped down onto it, exhausted from his fit. "Why does it still bother me so much? I've had to deal with this shit most of my life and it still gets to me."
She sat down on the edge of his bed and reached over to touch his hand. He turned it over and let her slip her slender fingers between his. "Because a small part of you fears that it's true. That you are nothing more than an animal. And it's a fear I doubt you'll ever conquer." She lay down and cuddled up to him, a gesture he gladly embraced. "And that's okay. We all have our inner demons we must keep at bay. Some of us literally. And it's just something else that makes us human."
He held her close and kissed her brow and let out a long sigh, releasing whatever tension was left in his body. He began to replay the day's events, all that had happened at the press conference, and he groaned. "God I made an ass of myself today."
"No more than usual." She gave him a quick kiss and laid her head on his chest. "Do you remember when we were fighting Johnny Rancid and I became so infuriated my dark side came out?"
"Oh yeah. He was definitely traumatized for life."
"And do you remember how the press questioned whether or not it was safe for me to even be a member of the Titans?"
"I remember threatening to pop some guy with a microphone in the mouth."
"Well after that happened I began to question myself and wonder if they were right. I've always battled the vicious side of my soul and there's always the chance that the next time it emerges I won't be able to gain control again. And I seriously considered leaving the team. Then you made me a promise that I'll never forget. You promised me that if a day came where I lost my humanity that you would meet death before you gave up on my soul. And you said that from that day on my soul wasn't just my responsibility, it was yours as well."
"And it's true. I'll shoulder any burden of yours in a heartbeat, Raven."
"Well it's been a long time coming but I'm making you that same promise. I will never give up on you and I will never let you lose your humanity, Garfield. From this day forward your soul is not just your responsibility, it's mine too. The inner most fears within us are no longer yours or mine, they're ours. And in this way we will always retain our humanity."
He held her close and let out a long sigh. "Being human's hard."
"I know," she said gently. "But it's a burden we must bear."
The End