Faith And Trust
Disclaimer: I don' own OUAT :(
Author's Note: Just a fluffy one-shot I came up with before 4x08 came out. It was my more Captain Swan take on the events that transpired. What if Killian had been the one to inspire Emma to regain control? Please read and review! :)
Emma Swan took a deep breath. She balled up her hands into tight fists, squeezing her fingers so hard her nails began to pierce her skin. She could feel herself becoming more agitated as each moment passed. This was the right thing to do - it was the only thing to do. She was a mother, and it was her responsibility to protect her child. If giving up her magic was the way to make sure Henry, as well as the rest of her family, was safe, then so be it.
She leaned against her car near the edge of the forest. She'd needed to get away, to think, and so she had driven until she couldn't anymore. This is where she'd ended up.
The air was cold, and Emma pulled her sweater more tightly around her. Her hair was whipping wildly in the wind, creating a sense of chaos that perhaps wouldn't have existed in a calmer environment. Emma's heart constricted; she felt so completely alone.
Mary Margaret didn't love her. The words had been present in her mind for several hours, but she still couldn't adjust to the truth they held. Snow White, her own mother, did not love her. She valued her as a protector, and perhaps even as a friend, but there was so much fear in her eyes. Emma couldn't entirely blame Snow; she hadn't known her as a daughter, even after they met. Emma's primary role in her life had been as the Savior, and that was a role that couldn't be erased by daughter. If Mary Margaret loved her, she would have trusted her.
Although, to be fair, Emma didn't even trust herself at the moment. She had very nearly killed her father; the memory of his panic was still fresh in her mind. And as a matter of fact, the lamppost that had almost crushed him would have crushed Hook had David not knocked him out of the way. The very thought made Emma sick. What would have happened if someone had been seriously injured? She wouldn't have been able to live with herself, she knew that. And then there was Henry, who was only trying to help her. And what had she done?
At least he's okay, thought Emma to herself, trying to even her breathing. And after this spell, I'm not going to be able to hurt him anymore. And then they can learn to love me. They won't be afraid of me anymore.
Emma took a deep breath, and let it out. Her decision was made.
As she was turning to go back into her car, she heard a panicked voice calling out for her, "Emma!"
Emma whirled around and looked everywhere; she could not find where the source of the voice had come from. And then she heard again, "Emma!"
It was coming from the trees, somewhere very nearby. And just when Emma was wondering who it was that was searching so diligently for her, even in the bitterly cold night air, she heard him call, "Swan!" And that's when she knew it was Killian.
She briefly contemplated driving away from him, but she knew he would hear her car and he'd just try to follow her. She didn't want him to get hypothermia on her account, so she shoved her hands as deep into her pockets as they would go, and then waited for him to appear.
He looked disheveled to say the least; his normally managed hair was sticking up at odd angles, and Emma noticed that several leaves were tangled throughout it. His leather jacket was missing, and the shirt he normally wore beneath it was torn at the collar and covered in dirt. Actually, dirt covered quite a bit of his body surface, and he was unusually pale, probably from the cold. Emma cringed internally; he looked this way because he'd probably been searching for her for hours. She should have just told him initially not to bother.
The relief he felt upon seeing her was plain on his face. He was shocked for a moment, then his eyes widened, and a brilliant smile lit up his face. "Swan!" he said excitedly, running to her quickly. He flung his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Emma could feel through her sweater how cold his skin was. "Come here, you must be freezing," he whispered, holding her to him more tightly. Emma allowed this behavior for only a moment, before pulling away and shaking her head. She stared at the ground as she said, "No. Y-You should leave."
"Swan, listen to me," he began, holding a hand out to her. But Emma didn't even look up.
She said, "You have to leave me alone, Hook." She didn't like having to speak those words; the truth was, she was falling harder for the man before her every day, but for his safety, she couldn't be near him until after her magic was gone.
"I'm not going to do that, love." insisted Hook stubbornly, crossing his arms to his chest and boring his eyes into hers. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me."
"I just need a day," explained Emma calmly, pleading Killian with her eyes to understand. She had to fight to keep the tears at bay. "Just give me one day, Killian, and then we can be together."
"Why do you need a day?" asked Killian, crinkling his eyebrows. His blue eyes swam in confusion.
"Because you can't fall in love with someone you fear," explained Emma under her breath. She shook her head, and leaned back upon the hood of her car. She heard Hook exhale, but he didn't say anything. She looked up at him again, and saw him trying to formulate what to say. It took him a few minutes to reply.
"But I don't fear you," he told her softly, taking a few steps in her direction. She didn't back away, but she shot him a warning glance. The warning went unheeded, as Hook continued his stride. "I never have."
"You should," Emma told him. "You could have died because of me."
"That wasn't your fault," disagreed Killian. "That was the Snow Queen. She wormed her way into your head. She wanted to be caught, Swan, it was her plan all the while."
"It doesn't matter. Nothing she said wasn't the truth." Emma tried to make him understand. The way he was looking at her was so full of love and hope, it was almost naive. "I'm out of control. And you can't feel anything for me if it's clouded by fear."
"But Swan, I've just told you -"
For the second time, Emma interrupted Hook mid-sentence. "You don't understand."
"You're bloody right I don't understand!" yelled Killian in frustration, his eyes becoming hard and angry. Emma cringed; this was the fear and malice she'd been expecting people to treat her with since the incident at the sheriff's station, nevermind the situation with Henry. She deserved whatever she got from him. He continued, "Are you even listening to yourself, Emma? I don't know where this is coming from! You were fine until this snow witch invaded, and now you're a completely different person! You're the bloody Savior for -"
"That's part of the problem, Killian!" shouted Emma with equal fervor. She slid off the hood of the car and stood so she was facing Killian full-front. "I can't just be the Savior! I'm not perfect! I'm a human being, and people don't seem to get that half the time!"
"For God's sake, no one is perfect, Swan." said Killian from between gnashed teeth. "No one expects you to be! It just seems like you're blind to what's right in front of you!"
"Oh yeah?" challenged Emma sardonically. "And what's that? A mother who is scared to even let me hold my baby brother? A father who was almost crushed by a lamp post because of me? A son who could have died if -"
"Me!" screeched Killian with pent-up anger. As soon as the word escaped his lips, he seemed to deflate a little bit. Emma saw him calm slightly, and he met her eyes with a tenderness she had never seen before. He said somewhat more quietly, "Me, Swan. If nothing else, you will always have me."
"I almost killed you, too," Emma reminded him. Killian shook his head. He reached his good hand towards her face, and brushed her flushed cheek. The action caused Emma to shiver slightly, and not because of the harsh night air.
"I love you." he whispered. Emma didn't even have time to respond before Killian leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was full of passion and understanding, the likes of which Emma had never even known existed. She responded eagerly, forgetting for just a moment all the turmoil that was exploding in her life. Her emotions were so heightened, and her heart was pounding so loudly, that the words slipped out without any conscious decision on her part.
"I love you, too."
And suddenly, Emma felt something pulsing around them; it was the purest kind of magic she'd ever witnessed. She hardly even noticed that her hands were no longer shaking with uncontrolled magic, for she was too focused on kissing her pirate to care about what was going on around her.
Killian exhaled in relief as he felt Emma relax in his embrace, and he kissed her with all the pent up emotions he'd been holding in since the day she'd tied him to that tree in the Enchanted Forest. He was hers, and she was his. And if his mere faith in her abilities was able to make her regain control, then he knew that their future would consist of something far more magical.
This really was just a bit off fluff to get ready for the episode coming out this Sunday. I know I wasn't the only one hoping for the Captain Swan "I love you" in 4x08, but since it didn't happen, that gives us something to look forward to :) Hopefully the writers make it grander than anything we could ever imagine! Thank you so much for clicking on! :)
