I remember reading this story on and it was hilarious, but I don't know the link to the story so I wrote it out instead! I don't know the original author's name, but all credits go to her (I have a feeling it's a female)…
Some of the stuff are VERY LIGHTLY edited, mostly for spelling mistakes, punctuation and grammar, but most of the original stuff is still retained. The part about Sango fainting is my own, though – in the original, she dragged Miroku off, FYI!
Disclaimer: NO OWN.
Oh, and the story doesn't really have a title, so I'll give it my own, but still the story will be the real author's!
Lemony Misunderstanding
"Where could they be?" Sango questioned, a worried look on her face as she, the monk and the kitsune walked through the woods towards the dry well. "Inuyasha was supposed to bring Kagome back an hour ago…"
"Now, Sango, I'm sure they're just spending some quality time together," Miroku smiled in reassurance. "But you know…" he continued slowly. "We could have some quality time too…"
"Don't even THINK it," the demon slayer snarled, whipping his hand from her rear before it had even brushed her.
"I think I smell them a little way off here," Shippo commented, oblivious to the pair's antics as he pointed towards one of the thicker parts of the forest.
"Really?" The magenta-eyed female blinked. "Odd place for them to go, but let's check it out."
"I can think of what they might be doing back here," the monk snickered, earning a bonk from Hiraikotsu over the head.
"He'll never learn…" the kitsune sighed, hopping upon Sango's shoulder as they all walked off to the indicated direction.
---
"Do you still smell them?" Miroku – who was nursing a large bump on the noggin – asked a few minutes of fruitless search later, looking around at the clearing they'd just entered.
"Yeah, they should be—" Shippo began, but was cut off by a rustling sound echoing off their far right.
Someone was hiding behind the large human-sized bushes and brambles inside the thick forest.
Or two someones…
"I think it's them," Shippo blinked.
"They don't seem to have noticed us," Sango commented as familiar voices began tumbling from the greenery.
"We're down wind," the kitsune explained quietly, curious as to what the hidden pair were talking about.
Miroku's face turned into a large perverted grin. "Gee, I wonder why they're hidden in the bush in the middle of the woo—"
But he was silenced by Sango and Shippo clapping their hands over his mouth.
"Are you sure this is a good place?" Kagome's voice questioned, sounding unsure. "We've tried here before. The fields in the north are better for—"
"Of course I'm sure!" Inuyasha interrupted. "Besides, we always go to the fields! It's getting boring there."
"Well…" Kagome sighed. "All right, if you say so."
Miroku's eyes began glittering mischievously as Sango's orbs widened.
"I told you!" the monk hissed gleefully, pushing the others' hands away from his mouth. "I told you that they--!"
"What's going on--?" Shippo questioned.
"Er, Shippo, I don't think you're old enough to—" the demon slayer began, her cheeks turning pink, but she was cut off by her love interest.
"Shh!!" the perverted one hissed. "I can't hear what they're saying!"
"—Supposed to look like that?" Kagome finished, the first half of her statement unheard. "I don't think it should be that big."
"We go through this every time! Of course it's supposed to look like that!"
"Well, okay…if you're sure…put it in."
Sango's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates; her face slowly flushing a magenta colour similar to the hue of her eyes as Miroku clamped his hands on his mouth, trying not to laugh.
"No, no, no!" Kagome suddenly cried. "This won't do—take it out."
"Why?!" Inuyasha's voice pouted.
"I've seen better, that's why."
"Where?!"
"All over! Even in MY era!"
Shippo, who was blinking in confusion, looked from the demon slayer to the monk, trying to find out what was so entertainingly wrong.
"Now, now, Kagome-sama," Miroku choked softly, still chuckling. "That wasn't very nice…"
Sango just stood there gaping like a fish.
"Do you really do this that often?" the hanyou snorted. "So frequently you're beginning to compare?"
"Well, yeah! I told you, I do this all the time, even at home!"
"Keh! Where in the seven hells do you go? Your village is covered in concrete!"
"Yeah, but you can still do it all over. Hell, sometimes my friends and I all get together and—"
"Whatever. I really don't care. But I still say it's fine, can't we just continue?"
The demon slayer flopped softly on the ground, muttering something about washing her ears while Miroku listened intently, still shaking with mirth.
"No!" One could even hear Kagome's frown in her voice. "Not till I'm sure I want to. Humph. I need to make sure it's okay first. I still say it's a weird shape and way too big for a—"
"Well how do you propose we check it, hm?" the hanyou drawled, sounding utterly bored.
"Duh, I'll taste it of course."
Sango looked as if her face was about to spontaneously combust.
Shippo was still as clueless as ever.
Miroku had to stuff his hands in his mouth to keep himself from bursting out his laughter.
"Stupid wench, you'll get your clothes all sticky!"
"I won't! I'll just be careful!"
"Fine!"
A moment of silence followed, but it was quickly shattered by a loud puckering sound.
"It's sour!!" Kagome announced.
"Of course it is!"
"I just didn't know HOW sour it—oh shoot, Inuyasha! You squirted it in my eye!"
"Well sor-ry, this thing is hard to hold!"
"What are YOU holding it for? You could always let ME hold it!"
"My, my," Miroku gasped between snickers, rolling on the forest floor with laughter. "I didn't know Kagome-sama to be so…so frisky!"
"I can't believe this," Sango whispered, her cheeks redder than a cherry as she continued hiding her face.
"No!" Inuyasha suddenly snapped.
"Why not?!"
"Because! It's mine!"
"Can't I at least touch it?"
"No!"
"You're impossible!" the futuristic girl huffed.
"You're a bitch!"
"Well if I'm such a bitch I don't think I wanna do this anymore!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
The two stopped arguing, and the forest was allowed to be blanketed in silence once again. Miroku was still trying to quell his giggles.
"What's going on?" Shippo whined to Sango, who had resumed muttering incoherently to herself.
"I don't think you'd what to kn—"
"Uh, Kagome?" the hanyou suddenly mumbled.
"Yeah what?" Kagome snapped.
"We can go to the fields if you want. Maybe it is better over there."
"…Are you saying you're sorry?"
"Keh! I'm just saying I want to continue!"
"Same thing."
Inuyasha just grumbled in response.
Back in the clearing, Shippo was losing his temper.
What was going on?!
The slayer wasn't saying, and the monk was having too much fun to notice him…
"Humph. Well," Shippo pouted, "if you guys won't tell me, then I'll go see for myself!"
"No! Shippo--!" Sango began, but she stopped as the kitsune bolted into the woods.
A few moments later…
"Hey! Shippo-chan!" Kagome's voice rang out happily. So the kit did barge into…whatever they were up to.
"Hiya, Kagome! Wow…so THIS is what you were up to!"
"Yeah! Wanna join us?"
"Sure!"
"Keh!"
"Oh come on, Inuyasha! The more the merrier!"
"Whatever."
Miroku, who was now looking more surprised than amused, looked at Sango and blinked.
However, she didn't see this – she was too wrapped up in banging her fist against her head, grumbling about bad, Miroku-worthy thoughts.
"Well, let's not waste anymore time!" Kagome giggled as the three emerged from the woods…walking into the clearing…
Right in front of Sango and Miroku.
The two small groups blinked as their eyes fell on each other.
"Sango-chan! Miroku-sama!" Kagome finally beamed, adjusting the basket of fruit on her arm. "How long have you two been here?"
"Err…long enough to know where you were going," Sango managed to answer weakly, her face flashing bright red as she clapped a hand over Miroku's mouth to keep him from replying.
"Oh! Well then, do you want to come too?" The ebony-haired girl tilted her head as Inuyasha brushed some dirt off his hakama, muttering something about stupid burs.
The slayer and the monk exchanged wide-eyed looks.
"Oh God," Sango wailed before falling to her knees in a half-faint.
"Erm, I take that as a no, so please excuse us!" Miroku helpfully scooped her up in his arms and dashed off, a comical cloud of dust at his heels.
The remaining three blinked.
"Weird," Shippo commented, taking a lemon from Kagome's basket and slicing it in half. "Want one?"
"You said it," Kagome agreed and accepted one half of the lemon. She bit it and puckered as she did so.
Then she laughed and smiled at Inuyasha. "Mm, tastes like a lemon."
"Gee, wonder why," the hanyou rolled his eyes. "Now come on. If we wanna make it to the fields to get more fruit before nightfall, we hafta hurry."
He glanced over his shoulder down the path where Miroku and Sango had used to escape.
"Wonder where they rushed off to."
"Maybe to go fruit-picking too!" Shippo suggested.
Inuyasha snickered, playing with a lumpy lemon-like fruit that had a bit of it cut off. "With Miroku around? I highly doubt that they'll be picking fruit. More like planting fruit if you know what I mean," he said.
"Inuyasha!" gasped Kagome, glaring at the hanyou while he continued snickering. "That was entirely inappropriate!"
"I don't get it!" the kitsune complained.
"Just for that," Kagome smirked, holding out her hand as the boy on her shoulder continued to contemplate the meaning of Inuyasha's previous statement, "I get to hold it for a while!"
"No!" Inuyasha frowned, clutching at the fruit-thing protectively. "Mine!"
"Can't you share?"
"Nuh-uh!"
"I just want to hold it for a while!"
"You wouldn't carry it in your basket, earlier!"
"That was different!"
"Why?!"
"Er—'cuz I say so!"
Shippo sighed as they continued quarrelling.
I wish they'd just admit that they like each other.
He glanced dryly up at the pair, who was now having a catfight for the lemon.
But I doubt they ever will.
Sighing again, the kitsune decided to run a little way ahead.
---
As soon as Shippo left earshot, the couple ceased their battle, grinning at one another.
"Ya know," Inuyasha sat, winking at Kagome. "The fields are also really good for other things than picking fruit…"
Kagome raised an eyebrow and went bright red when she realized his meaning, but there was a silly smile on her face.
"Mm," the hanyou said, nuzzling her neck. "Tastes like a lemon."
AN: I just HAD to share this story, since I've been trying to for months and only could now. Lolx, I hope you guys enjoy it!