I was only 15. I was sexually unprepared one foggy, Sunday morning, and I was getting out of bed to walk to a conveniently out of the way dark alley where I dropped my book on soap. So, with compassion, and a jubilant spring in my step, I ventured into the cloudy setting that lied before me.

Without warning, a large, green pingas blocked my path. It said, "You're not going anywhere." I walked around it, but whilst doing so, I dropped my pants and had to bent down to lift them back up. Then suddenly, the large, green pingas rubbed against my cheek. I coughed to cover my farting, as it was extremely rude to fart when you're being butt raped. Then I felt a large hand caress my thigh and say, "Better out than in, I always say. Unless of course we are talking about me and you." I blushed and whipped my head around to see the patriot who made my flag wave straight and high. Nobody was there. It was another one of my extremely sexual fantasies which I don't see a psychiatrist to try and fix the problem about but hey that's normal.

So I continued onward. On the way I came across a tall man in a black suit. I heard crying but saw no tears as the man seemed to lack a face. The man looked at my, at least I assumed he did, maybe he more of like blank canvassed at me or something I don't know, and said "Why don't the other girls like me?" I was shocked. I didn't see any possible way for him to talk, but he was crying earlier, so, let's just forget about inconvenient details like that. I responded delicately, "Probably jealous that you the nerve to talk to me." The slender man stared at me blankly, cause that's all he could do, and bellowed angrily, "Yeah probably senpai~!" He then turned around and lumbered away. I beckoned to the wayward traveller and he turned around and whispered, "Love, you messed up me drama so we best try that again alright?" I screamed "NO MEANS NO YOU JUST WANT MY ROCKING BOD!" The man says nothing he just sprays me with white goop that turns out to be marshmallows. And also semen. Mostly semen. Pretty much just semen. So much semen. Boobs.

I continued onwards without questioning that a strange man covered me with love in the middle of the street. Then a giant pink rat thing came at me (not that way!) AND HIT ME FOR GOD'S SAKE! COMPLETELY UN FUCKING PROVOKED. I ALMOST DIED. I WAS IN A FUCKING COMA FOR 06' FUCKING YEARS! MY MOM DIED WHEN I WAS IN IT FROM THAT FUCKING BOOM! damn.. what did I really miss… it keeps me up at night… Well, I'll show that pink rat! I'll show her… oh nevermind! These things don't live that long. But, for decency's sake, I put my willy in the dead, pink rat's cold clammy chacha that was crawling with bugs and showed her! I got 12 parasites as a souvenir as well! yay…

My book was probably gone by now. So my journey ends here. But not my psychological one! Now imagine me, a therapist, and 60 years of ptsd. It all ended in suicide. Yep… suicide. Then a year later I moved into a nice house and got a respectable job. I was all alone in my $24 flat. I heard a rattle on my door handle. Suddenly in burst Cookie Monster. He said "Hey there give me some cookies. They're REAL good." I bent over onto the floor and picked up the cookie jar. Suddenly I felt a brush to my behind. I blushed and Cookie Monster said "Where's my fucking cookies bitch." He picked me up and tore me in half. Then he ate my cookie.

~THE END~