DISCLAIMER - See end of story.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hidden Moments: Bites
Mulder's Motel Room Bellefleur, Oregon 9 March 1992
Nine minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes.
Mulder's thoughts seemed to be stuck, like a needle on scratched vinyl LP.
Nine minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes.
Where could they go? An area frozen in time? What could have happened in that time?
Mulder lay on his back on top of the bed clothes, he'd changed his clothes after the soaking they'd gotten earlier but he wasn't ready for sleep yet. That was a long way off tonight. His heart was racing and his skin was tingling with the electricity in the air. Maybe this Dana Scully was a good luck charm, he'd never got as close as this before. It felt as if something was coming, something big, and he was gonna have to be ready for it when it got here.
Nine minutes.
The storm had knocked out the power in the motel but the candlelight suited Mulder just fine. It gave the night the gravity it seemed to deserve. Mulder picked nervously at the bag of sunflower seeds that were resting on the bedside table. His nerves were really buzzing tonight - he smiled to himself - worse than last night. What on earth had sent him to her door like that? What must she think of him? He pulled himself up short on that one. It didn't matter what she thought of him because she wouldn't be around for long. Oh yeah, Little Miss Priss - with her neat pony tails and her sensible clothes - would be soon be gone. G. O. N. E. Gone. She didn't seem the type to be able to stand his flippant attitude for long. Mulder grinned at the ceiling. She was fun though. Fun to tease, that is. Those incredible blue eyes had lit up with so much passion when she got mad at him in the autopsy bay yesterday. And underneath those dull, shapeless clothes there was a hint of a much more shapely body. Overall she was a neat little package. And she was definitely a great agent - methodical but insightful, professional but tough enough to handle action - it was just such a shame that she was so narrow in her thinking. Maybe he could make her see a few things... what are you thinking, man? She's a spy!
Mulder reached for a seed and put it into his mouth. He tried to push Dana Scully out of his mind and concentrate on the case. He chewed thoughtfully on the seed but only one other thought came.
Nine minutes. Nine Minutes.
Lightening flashed outside the window and thunder rumbled deeply. There was a knock at the door. Mulder swallowed the remains of the seed, grabbed the candle and went to the door warily. He opened it and saw a sodden looking Dana Scully standing there. She was shivering and dressed in a thin burgundy robe that left the majority of her legs exposed. "Hi." He said, surprised to see her at all, not to mention see her in so few clothes. Dull and shapeless? "I want you to look at something." She said in a feeble voice that sounded like it was choked with fear. Mulder shrugged and stepped aside. "Come on in." He answered and she did just that.
Mulder stared at her as she immediately removed her robe.
Nine minutes, his mind threw up irrationally.
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She was not shapeless. She was stunning. The candlelight made her skin glow with a startling translucence. Mulder couldn't look away. Modest white satin bra and panties reminded him of the straight-laced woman who was currently his FBI partner but tight, feminine curves and delicate flesh inches away from his own made him forget everything instantly. His body was concentrated entirely on hers and responding according. His head felt light as the blood rushed away from it. His nerve endings were alive with a different reason now.
Dana stood there, aware of being half naked in front of this stranger and that this wasn't going right. She hadn't thought before she'd come over here. It had been impulse. She needed to know what those marks were and if they were… if they were… like the others… whatever they were! But Mulder wasn't looking at the marks, he was just looking and Dana wasn't sure what she was feeling. That was a lie. Dana turned to look at him and flicked her eyes downwards. He seemed to get the hint, because he jumped then lowered his eyes and moved closer. Dana was terrified because of the marks but wasn't so scared that she didn't recognise what the tightening of her skin at his proximity meant. Her head was already spinning and she thought for an irrational moment that she was going to faint. He was so close that she could feel the heat of the candle on her skin but it was nothing compared to the heat coming off him.
Mulder swallowed hard and moved closer to her. Without her actually saying he knew that she had found some marks on her lower back and wanted him to check them. With gestures and eye contact they'd managed to convey that, which was something that gave him the shivers without taking into account this incredible reaction to seeing her like this. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to tease her. He wanted to kiss her. To take her in his arms and lead her to the bed and make love to her. The pressure in the room was stifling as he lowered the candle and squatted down, his eyes examining every delicate vertebra down the length of her spine. Suddenly he was struck by an awful thought, what if they were the test marks? What if she *had* been tested on? Nine minutes. His mind was already fuzzy but it just couldn't process why he actually cared so much that that wasn't true. Arousal and fear and a dozen sensations that he couldn't place went through him in an instant.
What was taking him so long? Dana thought. The tension was going to make her scream. Hurry up, she willed. She needed to know that the marks were nothing serious, to cover herself up, to get out of his gaze. This was too much for her senses. It wasn't going right somehow. "What are they?" She demanded, trying to hurry him. Desperate to know. To end this. She felt his fingers on her back, pulling on the edge of her panties. The sensation was.. "Mulder, what are they?" She covered.
Mulder allowed himself to wallow in the sensation of touching her skin for a moment longer. Relief coursed through him and he needed a minute before he could actually form words. He grinned with the relief. "Mosquito bites." He said on an outward breath, proud of how calm he sounded. "Are you sure?" She asked quickly, moving away from him. Reluctantly he stood up and watched as the exquisite flesh was hidden from his sight once again. "Yeah, I got eaten up alive myself out there." He commented wryly but before he'd even finished she threw herself into his arms.
Dana was so relieved that she couldn't help herself. His body was so firm, so strong, so real. Just when her thoughts were all over the place she needed something solid to cling to. There was one second somewhere between him saying "yeah" and her body meeting his that she'd forgotten about the sexual tension she'd experienced, the need for grounding had been much more important. Now, holding him tightly, she was aware of it once again. It was so mixed up. There wasn't enough air in the room. "You okay?" He asked. "Yes." She answered and pulled back, half relieved and half terrified. What was happening to her? Rushing into a strange man's bedroom and stripping off, throwing herself into his arms - this just wasn't like her. It was more like something Missy would do. Her sister had no fear of throwing herself at men. But she wasn't throwing herself at Mulder, she had a reason for coming in here. She had been scared by the marks. "You're shaking." Mulder commented softly, reaching out to her. Dana moved away and went to a chair by the window. "I need to sit down." She said as she sat down. Troubled thoughts still tumbled through her head. "Take your time." Mulder responded, sitting down on the other side of the table and placing the candle down in front of him.
Mulder watched her sit there in the blue light coming in from outside the window. Rainwater was trickling down the window and casting melting shadows across his new partner's pale skin. It made it look as if she was crying, but Mulder knew somehow that Dana Scully was not prone to weeping fits. These feelings were scaring him; he was actually starting to care about her. And, God, did he want her right now. He sighed deeply as he tried to regulate his body, but it wasn't doing much good. His rationales, his reasoning, his motivations; all of it was disappearing from his mind in contemplation of her sitting in the rain-filtered moonlight.
Leave the room now Dana, thank him politely and get out now. Dana stood up in a reflex action and swayed with indecision. Her feet had forgotten how to work. "You're not alright.." Mulder said as he stood up too. He placed a hand on her arm and Dana jumped convulsively. "I'm sorry, thank you for... taking a look..." She began and headed for the door. Mulder followed behind her and, as she opened the door, put out a hand to close it again. Dana leant her forehead on the now closed door. Mulder's hand was right next to her head, still pressed on the door and holding it closed. He was standing right behind her, not quite touching but close enough to drive her mad. "Dana..?" He said softly. "I can't let you go like this." "I…" She began and turned around. He removed his hand and took a step backwards. She leant back on the door and sighed. "I don't always react like this." She said. "I'm usually much more sensible." She smiled weakly up at him. He was still standing too close to her for her sanity. "Maybe it's the storm." Mulder suggested with a grin that could melt sheet steel. Her head was too heavy for her shoulders. "I don't feel quite myself either." Dana knew that this meant nothing but trouble. "I really should leave.." She tried half-heartedly. Mulder's grin faded as he moved closer. "Yes, you should.." He said, but his hands stole around her waist and pulled her closer. "This is against Bureau protocol.." Dana said, but all her attention was focused on his lips as they hovered above her own. "There are rules.." She said weakly, wanting him to kiss her more than she'd ever wanted anyone to. "There's more to life then rules.." He answered and his lips met hers.
XXXXXX
Reality dissolved around them. Dana could hear what she assumed to be thunder but it could have been a nuclear explosion for all she cared. Mulder's hands were molding her hips, her waist, her back. Her own arms reached out blindly to hold him to her. Her hands threaded through his hair. Their tongues reached out instinctively, entwining and exploring the soft wet caverns of their mouths. Dana couldn't touch enough of his back and his shoulders. Mulder pressed her harder against the door and she reveled in the sensation of being trapped between the hard wood of the door and the silken steel of his tight body. Her hands went to his denim shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and it fell, already forgotten, to the floor by their feet. Mulder pushed his knee between her legs and brought his hands up to caress her face and neck. His thigh pushed against her groin, confusing her with yet more overpowering sensations. Their lips broke apart as the need for oxygen became an imperative, but they moved instead to place intense wet kisses on each others faces. "Oh Dana, you're so beautiful... I've wanted to do this..." Mulder groaned as his lips kissed near her ear. "Fox..." She sighed into his ear. "We shouldn't be doing this..." They clung to each other. "I know..." Mulder agreed. "…but I don't wanna stop..." "Neither do I… Fox..." She moaned as he kissed her throat. "...Dana, you're… uh…" He said between kisses. "...Fox..." She sighed, as she moved her hands and pulled his T-shirt free of his jeans. Her hands ventured underneath and caressed his smooth skin, kneading firmly.
Mulder slid his hands to her hips and lifted her a couple of inches off the floor, holding her tightly against him so that they were almost of a height. Dana gasped as her feet left the floor. She laughed brightly and smiled into his eyes. Mulder laughed back and kissed her hard on the lips, before carrying her to the bed. They both sank down together into the soft folds, hands exploring avidly. Dana finally succeeded in removing Mulder's T-shirt and he got as far as unclasping her bra, before the situation became too desperate to mess about with. Mulder sat up and struggled out of his jeans, whilst Dana all the while kissed and caressed his back. They laughed as it took Mulder at least three times longer than it should have done. Having completed the task, Mulder lay down next to his partner and looked deeply into her eyes. She reached over and kissed him. He returned it, touching only her face at first but his hands soon went to her breasts which were still hidden by the unclasped, although not removed, bra. Dana shimmed out of her panties and threw them over the side of the bed uncaringly. She had no idea why she was doing this. It was stupid and irrational and dangerous. Mulder rolled her onto her back and they kissed. Dana wrapped her legs around his waist and cried out his name softly as he thrust into her. "Dana… oh Dana..." Mulder groaned into her neck. She dug her nails into his back and pressed firmly in a line down his well defined spin, from his shoulder blades to his taught buttocks. Holding on tight when she reached her target, she pulled him deeper and deeper into her, meeting his every thrust with one of her own. Their mouths met, tongues desperately moving and mimicking the actions of their bodies. They changed position, so that he lay on his back and she was above him. Her feet twisted into the bed clothes as she moved, rotating her hips, using her hands to play across his abdomen. Mulder looked up at her, it was almost funny; he was naked and she still wore her unclasped bra and her burgundy robe, her long red hair fell across her face almost obscuring it. He couldn't believe that this was happening. She was the spy. This could be a set-up. It was too incredible to be real.
Dana look down at Mulder; their eyes met and the communication between them was so intense that it scared them. To break it Dana leant forwards and they kissed deeply. Mulder laughed and flipped them back over so that he was above her again. "Brute!" She said against his mouth without really meaning it. "Get used to it." He murmured back. "I'm… an absolute… bastard." He punctuated the sentence by trailing kisses across her jaw, then to her neck and collarbone. Dana clutched at his shoulders, digging nails in. "Aaahh." He exclaimed as the pain registered. "Anything you can give.." Dana muttered silkily. "Whatever you can take.." He answered, his hips increased their tempo and it was Dana's turn to cry out. There were no more words, only sensations as they pushed each other through layers of pleasure, finally reaching the summit with drawn out cries and exclamations. "Fox.." Dana cried. "Aaaahhh!!" Her body tensed and shattered. "D-D-Dan-a-a-a.." The word was ripped from his throat as lights exploded behind his eyes and his body spasmed wildly.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Mulder pulled the denim shirt back on over his T-shirt. He looked across at the bed and saw the sleeping form of Dana Scully with the white blanket covering her. He smiled wryly in remembrance and ran an unsteady hand through his hair. Now what should he do? Thinking rationally - which was something he should have been doing before - this couldn't happen again. When she woke up..He'd tell her..what? That it had been fun but it wasn't going to happen again? That she should get a transfer immediately? Great, and have her think that his only reason for sleeping with her was to get rid of her! It had meant more than that, but he had no time for this. There was only one important thing in his life and this couldn't be allowed to get in the way of that. Finding Samantha was more important than anything, she was the permanent fixture in his life and there was no room for anything else. Besides, there was still the possibility that Dana - his mind tripped him up on her name - that Scully (that was more comfortable) was a spy sent to distract him. Somehow he knew that wasn't true but this was just too complicated and he didn't need complications right now. Not when he was this close to the truth.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Mulder sank down onto the floor, resting his back against the bed. It was still raining and the power was still out. He'd wanted to watch Forbidden Planet on the Sci-fi channel. He laughed at himself and looked out of the window at the rain. He wouldn't have been able to answer exactly how long he sat there before Dana began to stir. He looked over at her. She smiled and propped herself onto one elbow.
Dana was disturbed to find Mulder fully dressed and sitting on the floor, staring out of the window but she already knew that he was kind of strange. Cute and sexy, but still strange. "Hi." She said. "Hi." He answered with a shrug. "What's wrong?" She asked. "Scully, I.." He began. "Scully?" She cut in flatly. What had happened to 'Dana'? "It's not that I didn't enjoy what just happened here, it's just.." Scully saw red. "Why not just be straight about it?" She exclaimed angrily. "It meant nothing," She turned away and straightened her bra to cover her hurt. "And, anyway, you already told me what a bastard you were." "It's not that." He said quickly and sincerely. She turned back and looked at him accusingly. "Look Scully, I want us to be able to work together, even be friends maybe, but I just can't get involved with anyone right now. Not when I'm so close to finding the truth." "The truth about what?" Scully was confused and hurt. "About this case?" "Kind of." He replied with a shrug. "The truth about my sister's disappearance."
Dana's throat contracted as she heard the feeling in his words. Her anger evaporated, although the hurt lingered. "Disappearance?" She found herself asking softly, as she lay back down and propped herself on her elbow again. It seemed important that she know what it was that drove him. She wanted to know. He sighed deeply and inhaled a long breath. "I was twelve when it happened," He began softly. "My sister was eight. She just disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone. Vanished." Scully frowned. No one just disappears. Mulder anticipated her response and continued. "No note, no phone calls, no evidence of anything." "You never found her?" It was more of a statement than a question. That was it, the truth behind Spooky Mulder, a lost sister. It didn't explain his wish to rule out a relationship with her even before it could really start. "It tore the family apart. No one would talk about it. There were no facts to confront, nothing to offer any hope." "What did you do?" "Eventually I..went off to school in England, and I came back and got recruited by the Bureau. Seems I had a natural aptitude for applying behavioral models to criminal cases."
And you shut out everyone who might care about you, Dana mentally added on, and I am coming to care. I just wish I could explain why.
Mulder was unsure of what to say to her, how much to trust her with. She'd shared his body but could he trust her with anything more? His heart kept telling him 'yes', although his mind insisted on 'no'. If he told her the truth, then she'd stay and if she stayed then maybe..one day..they could be better placed to try again. Tell her everything. Scare her off or make her stay.
"My success allowed me a certain freedom to pursue my own interests. That's when I came across the X Files..."
He turned so that he could look at her straight on. She shifted too, apparantly interested, wanting to know. The look was so sincere. He wanted to trust...
"By accident?" She asked. "At first it looked like a garbage dump for UFO sightings, alien abduction reports, the kind of that stuff most people laugh at as being ridiculous..but I was fascinated. I read all the cases I could get my on; hundreds of them. I read everything I could about paranormal phenomena, about the occult, and.."
He tailed off abruptly, could he trust her with *everything*?
"What?" She asked after the pause became too long. So sincere. Lay it on the line. "There's classified government information that I've been trying to access but someone has been blocking my attempts to get at it." "Who? I don't understand." "Someone at a higher level of power. The only reason I've been allowed to continue with my word is because I've made connections in Congress." "And they're afraid of what? That you'll leak this information?" "You're a part of that agenda, you know that."
So that was it, Dana thought. He still thinks I'm a spy. Even after... He doesn't trust me. "I'm not a part of any agenda. You've got to trust me. I'm here - just like you - to solve this."
If I can just convince him of that then maybe… Mulder surprised her by suddenly moving closer and their eyes locked. His were fathomless pools that she couldn't begin to navigate. The storm and the darkness separated the room from reality and Scully felt cast adrift in an alien world where Mulder alone knew the rules. The things she wanted were so simple but his motivations were so much more complex. She wanted to understand.
"I'm telling you this Scully because you need to know. Because of what you've seen."
And because you need to understand why I can't have that kind of a relationship with you or with anyone else, it was unspoken but it was there.
"In my research I've worked very closely with a man named Dr. Heitz Werber, and he's taken me through deep regression hypnosis. I've been able to look into my own repressed memories to the night my sister disappeared. I can recall a bright light outside and presence in the room. I was paralyzed. Unable to respond to my sister's calls for help."
Dana didn't believe in that. Not in aliens and not in hypnosis. There had been so much recent evidence in medical circles of the dangers of False Memory Syndrome and the way it had ripped families apart. That's what Mulder was describing. Scully shook her head to deny what he'd told her but Mulder moved fast, stopping very close to her face and forcing her to understand. "Listen to me Scully, this thing exists!" He insisted. "But how do you know..?" She countered, desperately. He couldn't throw his life away for that! "The government knows about it," He stated and Dana gaped at him. "and I gotta know what they're protecting. Nothing else matters to me,"
Dana read the implicit meaning. Nothing. Not even what happened tonight.
"And this is as close as I've ever gotten to it." He finished and their eyes remained locked.
Communication passed back and forth between them. Confusion, hurt, pain, and finally, understanding; all shared in an instant that neither would have believed could possibly happen just the day before. The ringing telephone snapped the escalating tension, giving them both an easy way out of the moment. Something else to concentrate on instead of their changing relationship. Work.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Scully's Bedroom
Scully may have been physically lying in bed but mentally she was still standing behind that one-way mirror in the Hoover Building; watching Mulder watching her. He couldn't possibly have known that she was standing there and yet his look had been so piercing and so completely intended for her. She'd never met a man with such intensely expressive eyes. He could tell her a thousand things without ever altering his facial expression. It was so unlike anything she'd ever known that it scared her deep down inside in some place she'd never even known existed. It also excited the heck out of her. It was more than a sexual thrill, Fox Mulder excited her mind too. People wrote him off as 'Spooky Mulder' in such a blasé fashion but he had the most amazing intensity within him. He oozed with a power that Scully had never encountered in anyone before. What others saw as 'Spooky' was exactly what fascinated her. He challenged her. His mind was a kaleidoscope that distorted and fragmented her rational convictions into complex patterns that seemed to make no sense. Yet, while his convictions were so firm on something so ludicrous, she couldn't fault his skill as an agent. She'd checked out his record and drawn conclusions based on her limited - but intimate - acquaintance with him. If only he played by the rules he'd be a star in the Bureau.
<"There's more to life then rules.."> Scully tried to shut that out. Okay, so the sex had been intense too, but that wasn't the reason she was staying with the X Files. Mulder had actually said to her face that there was no way it would ever happen again. It was right that it wouldn't happen again. After all, it wasn't like she was in love with him or anything. Working together day in day out would cure her of these feelings. It had meant as little to her as it evidently did to him - she reasoned - but that didn't stop her remembering the feel of hands on her…
The ringing of the phone awoke her from the daydreams which were blocking her sleep. She reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" She said into the receiver. "Scully?" The voice that murmured her first name in her daydream drawled into her ear. "It's me, I haven't been able to sleep."
He couldn't have been thinking of the same thing as her, could he?
"I talked to the DA's office in Linden County, Oregon. There's no case file on Billy Miles. The paperwork we filed is gone."
He paused as if expecting her to say something. She didn't understand what was happening here and she didn't believe what he did. Still, something *had* happened - the dead kids, Billy Miles, the marks, that bright light in the woods - and she wanted to know what it was.
"We need to talk Scully." He tagged on softly as if he'd heard her thoughts. "Yes." Scully replied flatly, but then smiled. She wanted to know and she had plenty of time to find out because she wasn't going anywhere. "Tomorrow."
Scully listened to the silence from the other end of the line. His turn to say nothing. What was he thinking? Was he glad she was staying or did he want her to go? He was calling her in the middle of the night, was that a positive sign? Scully could only hope that one day he might actually trust her.
She hung the phone up.
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Mulder's Apartment
Mulder stared at the softly humming receiver for a long moment. Despite all his carefully constructed barriers, she had crept under his skin somehow and he wasn't sure that he liked it. She made him lose his focus in a way he hadn't experienced in a long time but he wouldn't let it get in his way. He couldn't let it. His path was already determined for him and not even these odd sensations inspired by this tough little woman were going to deflect him from that road.
"Tomorrow." That soft voice had stated like a promise or a threat. He wasn't going to get rid of her in a hurry and the most worrying aspect was that he didn't want to.
Despite himself, Mulder was smiling as he replaced the receiver in it's cradle.
They made a good team and that's all they would be until…well, until one of them cracked.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Why is this so hard to believe?" Fox Mulder - Terma
DON'T FORGET THE DISCLAIMER! It is out of respect that I put this disclaimer stating that The X Files are the property of Chris Carter. I find it no hardship to do so. I would hope that other writers would grant me the same respect if an idea of mine grew to the same proportions as The X Files. This disclaimer cannot prevent litigation against me, which is okay because that's not why I put it here. Respect must go where it's due. I hope that anyone who reads this understands it's meaning but, whether you do or don't, please feel free to write to me about it. This is not a justification for some of the actions committed by people on Chris Carter's behalf in the suppression of free speech.
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